Page 38 of Right the Wrongs (Broken Vows #5)

Chapter Twenty-Five

Griffin - Present

I can’t stop hearing Wren say that she thought I would leave her the way that Liam did, and that she thinks there must be something wrong with her.

What can I do that I haven’t done in the last ten years to make her feel secure in our marriage?

I know that I raised Liam, mostly alone, but that doesn’t mean the things he put her through are a reflection on me. It’s taken me a while to realize that.

Guilty or not, I still need to come up with something to help my wife. We should have tried therapy years ago, but I can’t put all the hopes for our future happiness on it. I’m not a ‘sit around and watch life happen’ kind of man.

I take a page out of Charlie’s book and contemplate life on my back porch with a cup of coffee, minus the cigarette.

Marrying her didn’t give her enough assurance.

Having four kids didn’t do it. I think Dr. Manning is right about why our life together isn’t sufficient to make her feel safe.

It’s hard for her to feel safe when every time Liam needs anything, I jump to help him.

We do need boundaries, but what exactly does that look like when the person we need some separation from lives next door and works with us? How can I create enough distance for Wren to feel solid next to me without losing my son?

I don’t have the answer to that yet, but hopefully I’ll find it at the bottom of this cup of coffee. At least it’s peaceful out here. The only sound is the birds singing and the leaves rustling.

That is, until I hear Liam arguing with someone on the phone over on his porch.

I think about letting him know that I’m over here within hearing range, since he can’t see me behind all the large potted plants Wren has back here, but then I start to hear what they’re talking about and I stay quiet.

Not very honest, but he’s not being very forthcoming about what is going on with Claudia right now, and I’m not sure who else he would be arguing with.

Boundaries can wait just a little while longer.

The boards creak as he paces. “Claud, you know I want to be with you.”

She sounds farther away than he does, and I realize he’s talking on speaker phone. Not sure why he would do that outside, but I am trying to eavesdrop, so I certainly won’t try to stop him.

“We’ve lived near your family for over nine years. I’ve tried to make it work this whole time. It isn’t because I don’t like them, but it’s weird building a life with the man you love, and his ex-wife is literally always there,” she says.

I’m pissed at myself that I ever pressured Wren to include Claudia more. I’ve said things to her over the years when Wren had plans with only Bess, Hattie, and Harlow. I thought she was leaving Claudia out, but I’m realizing now that she was only matching Claudia.

“You know it isn’t like that with Wren and me. We never should have gotten married in the first place, so you don’t have to worry that I’d ever leave you for her,” Liam tries to pacify her.

As far as getting less mad, that comment didn’t help.

He is the one who pushed her into getting married weeks after graduating from high school.

I raised my objections then, long before I ever saw her as anything other than my son’s high school girlfriend.

He ruined her life for years, all for him to just shrug the whole marriage off as an “oops.”

“You think that’s what I’m worried about? That Wren is going to steal you away?” Claudia laughs. “Not even close. Wren has a deep respect for marriage, so even if, for some reason, she did still have feelings for you, she’d never disrespect me in that way.”

My feelings are softening a little toward Claudia again.

“What is bothering me,” she continues, “is that you don’t seem to have learned from your past. You swore to her that you loved her, and yet you were so easily able to betray her with her best friend.

When we first met, you won me over by showing me how contrite you were, and I thought that the fact that they forgave you was proof that you really had made amends. ”

“I have. We’re experiencing some rockiness right now, but this is new stuff,” Liam protests.

“It doesn’t seem new,” she replies. “Look, we’re going around in circles. I didn’t say I was opposed to working on us, but I don’t like who you are when you use.”

“Claud, I don’t know what else to do. I’ve just come home from rehab. I’ve been clean for a couple of months now. I know that you’re disappointed that I slipped. Believe me, I’m so pissed off at myself, but I can’t change the past. Not for you, Wren, or me.”

“Are you going to meetings?” she asks.

That’s a question I’ve tried to get him to answer many times, but he evades every attempt. That says everything I need to know.

He groans, and I know that, unlike when I ask, he knows he’s going to have to answer her. “Look, not everyone does well with AA. Recovery isn’t a one-size-fits-all kind of thing. I don’t do well with all that sharing of trauma. So my mommy left me, who the fuck cares?”

When she speaks again, I can hear the sadness in her voice.

“I care because I hate that you choose to bury your pain rather than deal with it. It doesn’t stay down, and you have never learned how to deal with it.

Your coping mechanism can’t be taking it out on Wren.

And let me warn you now, if you ever speak to me the way you have her, I won’t hesitate to divorce you either. ”

“So I’ll go to meetings. What else do you need from me?” he asks her.

This time, I get the sense that he’s been genuine. He didn’t fight for Wren, but he will fight for Claudia. That, in a nutshell, is what is plaguing my Baby Bird.

I’m happy that I’m starting to understand. I know she doesn’t want him. She doesn’t even want him to want her. What she wants is to understand why he fought so hard to shackle her to the wrong future and then spent the years they were together punishing her.

This problem didn’t start with Wren, but with Melinda. I think maybe it’s time to find my ex-wife and help my son get some answers. Before he can tell Wren why he did the things he did, I think he needs to understand them himself.

Either way, this will be the last time that I interfere in my son’s life.

Wren is dancing in the kitchen while she empties the dishwasher. Her hips sway back and forth, and I can’t stop thinking about how she said we should have dirtier sex. I know that she was saying that to shock Liam, but I’d be lying if I said that it hadn’t wormed its way into my head.

I enjoy the view of her being so carefree for a few more minutes. I haven’t seen this from her for a few months, and I’m glad our therapy sessions are starting to bring it back. Unfortunately, what I need to talk to her about might bring that dark cloud back to hovering over her head.

She jumps when she turns around and sees me lurking in the doorway. Her hand covers her heart. “You scared me!”

“I was just enjoying the view,” I tease her.

“Perv,” she says with a smile.

“Like that was ever a question, besides, you love it.”

“Yes, Daddy, I do,” she says and kisses me on the cheek.

Grabbing her hand, I squeeze and pull her toward the table. “I’ve been thinking about something, and I thought before I do anything, I’d try talking to you about it first.”

“Novel idea, what made you think to do that?” she asks. She hasn’t pulled her hand away, so I know she’s listening to me.

It isn’t that I never consult her, but I do tend to act when I think I’m protecting my family.

I might be an old dog, but I’m learning new tricks.

Not sure how I didn’t pick this one up ages ago.

It’s quite easy. When I think I’m going to be the hero and save the day, I just run it past my wife first. I’m not saying that I’m incapable or stupid, but I am finally acknowledging that I don’t know everything.

“I know that you have been struggling, and I’m so sorry that I made it all about me. I do get it now,” I start.

Her green eyes open wide. “Then can you explain it to me? I don’t know why this keeps bothering me so much. I don’t want him, and I don’t want him to treat Claudia like shit either. I just?—”

“Don’t understand why he treats her with care when he didn’t do that for you,” I supply.

She shrugs. “Well, yeah, but why does that bother me? I have you, and you don’t treat me like he did. You worship me, actually,” she says.

I slide my free hand up her thigh. “I do enjoy getting on my knees for you.”

Shaking off that image, I press on. “I wonder if it has more to do with worrying that Liam’s wants and needs will always come before yours.

I might not treat you like he did, but I’m not perfect, and I’ve put him first too many times.

I thought that was my duty as a father to always take care of my son, but he is an adult and has a family of his own.

If I don’t take care of you, then who is going to? ”

She exhales a shaky breath, and her eyes turn glassy. “I—” she swallows “—think you might be right. I just wonder if he didn’t see me as enough, what is stopping you?”

“I’m sorry I ever gave you a reason to think that was even a possibility.

I’m sorry I’ve prioritized him for so long.

I just felt like I needed to compensate for what he didn’t have, that I didn’t stop to question whether or not what I was doing was actually helping him.

It wasn’t. I do want to do one more thing, if you are willing to meddle with me. ”

There’s a wariness in her expression. “What did you have in mind?”

“I want to explain this first,” I begin.

“That freaks me out. If you can’t just say it, then it must be really bad,” Wren comments.

She’s not wrong. This might be the dumbest idea I’ve ever had.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about the things you’ve been struggling with, questioning Liam’s actions, and all that.

It also made me wonder why. I don’t have an answer because to me, you’re the reason, the sun, the center of gravity.

It’s why I kept people from telling you what I now know was the truth about Liam.

I never imagined he’d be stupid enough to cheat on you, because I knew if I ever got lucky enough to have you in my life, I’d never let you go. ”

I feel my palms getting sweaty and pull my hand out of hers so I can scrub it on my jeans.

“It made me wonder if the answer is that Liam is taking out his anger with his mother on you. I can’t explain why Claudia has been immune to it, and maybe she hasn’t been.

Still, I wonder if he had a chance to ask his mother the questions he’s been struggling with, if he might not find the answers for yours. ”

She’s silent after I explain. I feel a need to fill the quiet, because I must not have explained it right.

“I don’t care to see Melinda myself, but this is something I should have done for Liam decades ago.

I never tried to keep her in his life. I was so hurt that she threw us away that I just let her go.

I think now I fucked up, though. He was two years old, and I was arrogant enough to think that a boy could get by with just his dad.

Now I know that I was wrong. I just want to correct a very old mistake. ”

“And you’re sure that’s all?” she finally asks.

“Uh, maybe a small part of me wants to show her how much happier I am without her. Rub my beautiful wife in her face and brag about our kids. But that’s a small part. Most of me wants to get her to give Liam some closure.”

“She’s been gone, what, thirty-three years? Where do you even start?” she asks.

I reach behind me and pull out a card that I’d written down an address on.

“I talked to someone we went to high school with. They reached out to someone else, etc. Anyway, I got a call earlier today with an address. Melinda is living a few hours away. She used to be married to this older man who, not surprisingly, had a lot of money. I guess it was transactional on his side, too, because he’s since moved on to a younger wife.

I was told that she has one kid and played the typical PTA mom.

I’m a bit surprised, because I’d heard before she had no kids, but my information was old. It’s not like I kept tabs on her.”

“I guess if Liam does speak to her, he might at least understand how I feel. Not sure that it will help him to shove his absent mother in his face and show him that she was willing to be a mother, just not to him. I’m not sure it’s a good idea, unless the plan is to get some kind of minor revenge,” she says.

“So you don’t think he’d want to talk to her?” I ask.

She bites her bottom lip. “I don’t know. He’s not usually very introspective, but I know if I had a chance to talk to either of my parents, I’d take it.”

“Will you come with me?” I ask her.

“Anywhere you go, I’ll follow,” she promises.

“I’ll see if the others can watch the kids, and we’ll make a vacation of it,” I say.

“So we’re just going to show up and surprise her?” she asks.

I shrug. “I figure I’d give her the same courtesy in our arrival that she gave me in her departure.”

“Should be an interesting trip,” Wren quips.

I pull her quickly out of her chair and onto my lap. “There should be time to work on that plan to have a lot more dirty sex.”

She wraps her arms around my neck and rocks against my growing erection. “Why didn’t you say so, Daddy? I’m always up to play.”

I scoop her up as I get up out of the chair. “The kids won’t be out of school for another thirty minutes, and Elisa is napping. Plenty of time for me to take care of my Baby Bird.”

By the time I’m done worshiping her, she’ll never question my devotion to her again.