Page 37 of Right the Wrongs (Broken Vows #5)

Chapter Twenty-Four

Wren - Present

My hands shake as I search for my keys in my purse.

The urge to cry is stinging my eyes, and that pisses me off even more.

I’m not sad, despite the tears. Sometimes I cry when I’m mad.

It’s one thing I hate about myself. I’d like to think I was some kind of badass who can face down drama without shedding a tear, at least not any of my own.

I’d have been fine if Liam cried for once.

The crunch of gravel behind me pulls a sigh from me. I don’t need to turn around to know who it is. There’s no reason Liam would come after me, especially considering he never did when we were together.

My shoulders droop, and I give up trying to find my keys in the mess of my bag.

I let my bag fall to the ground and turn around to face my second argument of the day.

Fighting with Liam is exhausting, but it doesn’t hurt me.

Not anymore. I don’t like arguing with Griffin.

Bickering with him is fine, for us, that’s like foreplay, but actually disagreeing about something feels unnatural for us.

“Can we not do this again? I don’t know how else to assure you that I don’t have any feelings for Liam anymore.

I mean, I have lots of feelings, most of them involve the desire to poke him with sharp objects, but I promise I won’t skewer your son.

Well, I will take the twins to get shots, so I guess I will in a way, but I won’t do it in anger. ”

Griffin puts his hands on my arms and gives me a gentle shake. “I know you only have violent feelings for Liam, and all things considered, I’m okay with that. I know you aren’t in love with him anymore. I’m sorry I ever let my insecurity go there.”

My mouth hangs open. “You know? How? The last time we talked about any of this you didn’t seem to believe me. We’ve only had one therapy session.”

“Scott told me that I need to practice listening. Apparently, what I was doing was hearing. I figured that since he was able to lock Harlow down from the beginning without being a bumbling idiot like the rest of us, I should probably pay attention,” Griffin says.

“Okay, you listened. What did you hear?” I ask.

I watch his Adam’s apple bounce in his throat. “Pain. I heard lots of pain. I don’t know what you’re dealing with right now, but I know that I haven’t been much help to you with it. Worse, I’ve added to it by always focusing on Liam.”

I bite my lip. There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to him about since I heard Liam mention it. “What did Liam mean that you kept me from finding out?”

Griffin closes his eyes and inhales slowly. All these eggshells around us are making it hard to navigate our marriage. Neither of us knows where to step.

“When I heard people talking, mostly at the bar, but also at the pharmacy, that Liam was cheating on you, I may have threatened a few people. You have to believe me, Baby Bird, I didn’t believe them when I heard the rumors.

I know I should have. I guess I just didn’t want to believe that he could be like that.

Also, I just couldn’t comprehend that he would have you in his life, his bed, and take that for granted.

Not when I would have done anything to have you for myself.

I shouldn’t have stopped you from finding out.

I wasn’t just trying to protect him. I thought I was saving you from hearing hurtful lies that would take away your family. ”

I stretch up and kiss him on the cheek. “You’re full of shit, but I love you. I think you think that is why you did it, though, so I forgive you.”

“What do you mean by that?” he asks me.

I shrug. “That’s something you’re going to have to work out for yourself. You can’t tell me why I’m struggling with old memories, and I can’t answer for you why you kept me in the dark for over a year while Liam screwed every available woman in Harriston.”

“Is this some kind of revenge?”

“No,” I reply. “I could guess, but I might not be any more accurate than you were when you thought I was still in love with Liam. I don’t want to get in the habit of telling you how you feel and why.”

I take a couple of steps back. “I’m going to work from home today. I just can’t be in the same building as him. Not with so many sharp things lying around.”

“I’ll come with you,” he says, dangling his keys from his index finger. “Ride with me.”

I purse my lips. “I can do billing from home, but as far as I know, you can’t really do your job from our house.”

Griffin shrugs. “I could do a lot from our garage, but then they’d know where we live.”

“How about we don’t do that,” I suggest.

“Okay, then I’m going to go and tell Liam that I’m taking the day off and that he is going to be working late tonight. Does that work?”

I don’t have to think long about this. “You mean that I get to spend the entire day with you, and inconvenience Liam at the same time? I’m in.”

For the second time this week, we sit in Dr. Manning’s waiting room.

I’m less anxious this time that talking about all of our issues is going to somehow rip an irreparable hole in the fabric of our relationship.

I should be ashamed of myself for having so little faith in us, or maybe it’s more a lack of faith in myself.

A lot is churning inside my mind, and I’m lost inside it. So lost that I don’t immediately register Griffin fidgeting next to me.

“What are you doing here?” Griffin snaps.

It’s been a while since I’ve heard him speak with that level of irritation. Not since he forced himself to talk to me that way, actually. Hearing that tone snaps me out of my head, and I look up to see Liam hovering in the doorway.

“I tricked Charlie into telling me about your appointment. I’ve been thinking about what you said, and—” Liam starts to speak.

“And, what? You thought, ‘I know what won’t make me look like a self-centered jackass, I’ll crash my Dad’s marriage counseling?’ I’ve got news for you, it isn’t working,” Griffin interrupts.

“I have been thinking about what you said to me the other day, and I—” Liam shoves his hand through his hair, a habit he got from his dad, “I don’t know, I thought that maybe it might be good for all of us to talk it out with help.

I see that I’ve become an issue in your marriage.

There was a time I’d have celebrated that, but not anymore.

I want all of us to be able to move on as much as we can.

Short of cutting you out of my life, Dad, we’re going to be around each other.

I didn’t cut you out after you two first got together, doing so ten years later makes no sense,” Liam tries to explain.

Before I get a chance to lash out at him, Dr. Manning opens the door for us. She, too, freezes when she sees Liam in the waiting room.

A crease forms between her eyes. “Did we schedule a group therapy session? I don’t have that written down.”

Without pulling his eyes away from Liam, Griffin answers her. “No, we didn’t. My son just doesn’t understand boundaries.”

Her mouth falls open in a perfect O. Great, Liam managed to break our therapist. I guess he’s still got a perfect record in destroying everything he touches.

I roll my eyes at my thoughts. He hasn’t broken everything. His kids are still good, but I think that might be more thanks to Claudia than him.

Dr. Manning gets a pensive look on her face, then she turns to me. “Wren, can I speak to you alone in my office?”

She turns around without waiting for me to answer, and I follow her into the room.

When we get inside, I take the same seat I had the other day, and she closes the door.

Instead of sitting in her chair, she stands behind it and leans forward with her elbows propped on the back.

“I can imagine this isn’t a very welcome surprise.

I know that a lot of the issues you and Griffin have been dealing with come from Griffin’s responses to his son’s decisions.

It could be helpful for you to speak to him in a controlled setting. ”

“I can never get away from that man,” I mumble under my breath.

She nods understandingly. “I can see that. Wouldn’t you like to finally rip the band-aid off that wound and air out all this hurt?”

“I’m starting to understand why people say that therapy is painful. I thought this process was supposed to feel good,” I complain.

“Who told you that bold-faced lie? Therapy is painful, but necessary. You have to push through that pain to rid yourself of the hold the past has on you. Now, is facing Liam something you’re ready for, or should we deal with this another time when you’re ready?” she asks me.

“It’s been ten years, if I don’t force myself, when am I going to be ready?” I ask.

She shrugs. “I can’t answer that for you.”

“Let’s do it. I might not ever be able to put Liam in my past completely, but I’d love not to have him occupying the dead center of my present. If you can do that, I’m in,” I reply.

Dr. Manning shakes her head. “I can’t do anything except guide you. I’m afraid you’re going to have to do the work.”

“I was afraid you were going to say that,” I grumble. “Let’s get this over with.”

I stay seated while Dr. Manning goes back to the lobby to bring in Griffin and Liam.

I’m not sure what I expect when they come in, but it isn’t absolute silence.

After a few minutes, I crack. “Well, my original hope was we could talk about really dirty sex, and see if there was a way we could have more of it, but I’m thinking we should put a pin in that topic.

Present company considered, someone else is going to have to get us started. ”

Griffin jolts forward. “Liam, cover your ears,” he demands, as if he’s a toddler. “I don’t want to pass this up. We should absolutely have more and dirtier sex. I’m open for anything except sharing you.”

“I’m so glad we’re in a therapist’s office so I can deal with my trauma in real time,” Liam complains.

“Okay, I see this family uses humor to deal with difficult topics. I have a suggestion, it will be less fun, but how about we talk about what kind of boundaries there are between the three of you?” Dr. Manning interjects.

Griffin and Liam stare at her blankly. “I think you might have to define that term for them,” I tell her.

“I know boundaries aren’t showing up to your dad’s marriage counseling uninvited,” Griffin says.

“Funny, you’d think boundaries would have stopped your dad from hooking up with your wife, but apparently not,” Liam snaps back.

“What is this, the therapy version of a dick measuring contest?” I ask.

“That answers my question that there are no boundaries here. That is definitely something that needs to be worked on. In our last session, I think Wren was starting to stumble on some things that should also be addressed,” Dr. Manning says.

She waits for a moment, probably for me to recall this apparent epiphany I was on the verge of a few days ago. However, I’m drawing a blank, so I sit silently until she supplies the answer.

“Wren, part of what we discussed the other day was about how you feel neglected by Griffin when he rushes to help Liam. We also talked about how you felt when Griffin thought you still had feelings for his son,” she reminds me.

“Come again?” Liam interrupts. He turns to face Griffin again. “You seriously thought, after everything I did to her, that she could possibly still have feelings for me?”

A muscle ticks in Griffin’s jaw. “It does sound stupid when you put it like that, but?—”

“Yes, Griffin?” Dr. Manning prods.

He takes a deep breath as if he’s deciding whether or not he should continue his thought.

I can see by the determined set to his jaw that we really are ripping off band-aids.

“I never thought I deserved Wren. I’m no one special.

Shit, I’m nothing more than a blue-collar guy from a dysfunctional family.

I’m rough and dirty, both physically and figuratively.

I’m also selfish, because knowing all of that, I took her anyway.

That doesn’t mean I don’t keep an eye out for the day that she decides she can do better. ”

“Griff,” I sigh. “You worry about deserving me? I’m constantly worried that you, too, will think that there’s another woman out there who is better than me.

For years, Liam showed me that I wasn’t enough, would never be enough.

I couldn’t clean right or cook well enough.

I was alone during birthdays, anniversaries, all the while, apparently, he was screwing the entire city of Harriston.

My best friend didn’t value me enough not to get knocked up by my husband. ”

I take a breath, but now that I’ve started, I can’t stop.

“I made the same kind of excuses that Griffin did for him. I told myself that he was sick. It was the booze and the pills that made him act that way. Then he met Claudia, and I’ve gotten to watch, up close, him treat a woman with actual affection.

But see, now I’m confused, why do I care?

I know Griffin doesn’t understand this, and how could he, because I don’t either.

Why do I care that Liam comes home after work now, that he doesn’t forget her birthday, or their anniversary?

I’m happy with Griffin. This is the life that I want, but I can’t stop asking myself what was wrong with me. ”

I’m breathing hard by the time all of that spills out. Fuck, I thought I’d feel better getting all of this out, but I feel raw. My emotions are bleeding all over me, and I’m afraid to look at Griffin, because I don’t know how he will react to what I just admitted.

Without a word, his hand stretches between our chairs, and he takes my hand. It’s better than any words of reassurance he could give me.

The cherry on top, Liam is speechless. I got to say all of the things that have been festering inside of me for years, and he kept his mouth shut. An apology would have been nice, an explanation even better, but for an alternative, this one isn’t the worst.