Page 31 of Right the Wrongs (Broken Vows #5)
He takes a seat next to Hattie. Since Hattie and Charlie spilled the true story about how they got together, including the story about Donovan and Hattie’s friendship, it seems that they are fast on their way to being best friends again.
Bess winces. “I might have also texted him before we left, where I planned to go.”
I smile at her to reassure her. “No worries, it actually makes it more perfect.”
“So, are we starting with Griffin’s problems, or yours?” he asks me.
That catches me off guard. “Mine?”
Everyone suddenly gets interested in their drinks or the wood grain of the table. Donovan is the first one to find the courage to answer me.
“Griffin keeps prioritizing Liam, and that’s not a small problem. I am not minimizing what you are dealing with by suggesting that you have a completely separate issue going on here beyond his facilitating Liam being a dick.”
Over the years, I’ve managed to create my own narrative.
I’m not much better than Griffin in that regard.
I’ve seen that everyone is together at our regular dinners and other family gatherings, so in my mind, I’ve told myself that means that we’re all one big happy family.
I’ve equated those moments to mean that everyone gets along equally, and that is not the case.
Charlie and Griffin are the closest to Liam outside of Claudia, of course.
But if I’m really looking at us without rose colored lenses, I have to admit that Claudia isn’t the only one who is held at a bit of a distance from everyone else.
Scott and Liam are probably the closest in age of the guys, and yet Scott is closer to Charlie, Griffin, and Donovan.
That makes me curious enough to ask questions I would never have vocalized even months ago. “Donovan, you are only about ten years older than Liam, and yet you’re closer to Scott. You aren’t even that close to Griffin, why?”
He swallows and looks to Bess before he answers. They’ve clearly discussed this before, because some silent communication goes on between them, and she nods her approval.
Donovan clears his throat before turning in his seat to face me.
“You know that Liam came into my bar a lot when you were married. I felt so much guilt for knowing that he was stepping out and not saying anything to you. I know he’s done a lot of work to be a better person, but a man who will cheat on his wife, with her best friend, no less, that’s just not something I can wipe clean and move on with.
Liam and I are friendly, but I wouldn’t say we’re friends.
As for Griffin, we’ve had words in the past. I felt it was his place to rein Liam in, and instead, he made sure no one told you what was being said.
The only reason I like him a bit more than Liam is that he was never there the nights that Liam left with other women.
He’s had his son on a pedestal his whole life and refused to see his flaws.
I’d say we’re friends now, but only because he treats you like a queen. ”
Hattie takes a sip of her beer and mumbles, “That’s not the only reason you’re not very close to Charlie.”
He rolls his eyes at her. “I think we’ve come a long way. I’m always going to be watching him after all the shit he pulled years ago, but like Griffin, if he continues to treat you well, we’ll be good. I liked Elisa and Martin, I feel responsible in a way to make sure their girls are cared for.”
His words, while incredibly loving, hit me in the gut. I have to look up and blink fast to keep my eyes from leaking. Still, when I try to speak, my voice breaks. “I’m sure they’re very glad we both have you.”
Bess pushes my beer away a little. “I did not pour you a beer to make you all weepy. I want the pissed off rage demon that grabbed Griffin by the balls ten years ago. You need to make him see what he’s doing and reclaim your place in his life.”
Bess has never made a show of not liking Liam, but I realize now that she’s never tried being friends with him either.
Odd that I ever thought Audrey was my best friend.
She never had the same ride or die energy that Bess has, even on a day she’s tired, PMSing, and under-caffeinated.
All I have to do is say I’m going to kill someone, and she shows up with a shovel.
Seriously. I’ve had to start qualifying my statements by telling her I’m being hyperbolic. I don’t really need the temptation of a willing partner in crime when it comes to my ex-husband, especially when everything was fresh.
“You said my problems. I don’t need everyone pointing out that Griffin’s instinct is to shield Liam; I’m already painfully aware of that. So what is my issue, other than being a doormat?” I ask.
Hattie leans back in her seat. “Don’t look at me, I ran away from my family when life got hard, and hid in Florida for over twelve years. I’m not the one to point fingers.”
Bess shrugs. “Sorry, Wrenegade, I was going to go with doormat. I love you, but I already said I was trying to resurrect your more chaotic alter ego. I’m team Griffin’s the problem .”
Donovan pointedly looks away. He might participate in girl talk, but he’s still a man. That leaves Harlow.
“You know, every time my ex-husband, Nando, started seeing a new woman, I wondered what they had that I didn’t.
At least, at first. Once the devastation passed, I spent so much time blaming myself.
Eventually, I got numb, and even looked forward to his attention being diverted away from me,” she begins to explain.
“Shit, Harlow, that’s horrible,” Donovan says.
She waves him off. “Yeah, it was, but that’s not the point.
Even when I had emotionally left my marriage, I still often found myself wondering why I got Mr. Hyde while they spent time with Dr. Jekyll.
It was never about my feelings for him, but about how the years with him left me feeling about myself.
It’s insidious how the abuse chips away at who you are.
They do that on purpose because they need you to be dependent on them.
That’s the only way they can make you stay. ”
Her words settle on me like a warm blanket.
What she’s saying isn’t pretty. Unfortunately, I can relate to her story.
“Griffin thinks that my reactions to Liam’s relapse mean that I’m still in love with him.
I know that I’m not, but I still don’t understand why it has always bothered me how hard he tries to be a good man for Claudia.
There’s not even a small part of me that wants to trade places with her, but I still wonder why she gets the effort he never gave to me. ”
“Healing isn’t linear,” Harlow repeats from our conversation earlier.
“That’s for damn sure,” Hattie agrees.
“So, what do I do?” I ask all of them.
“You’re doing it, babes. The only way to deal with this is to push through it. You have to start admitting the things you’ve run from for years. You don’t like Liam. You are uncomfortable around Claudia, and this whole one big happy family thing you show is bullshit,” Bess chips in.
“Damn, don’t sugar coat it or anything,” I grumble.
She gives me one slow blink. “I think you’ve done enough of that, and that’s kind of the problem. Lies will always catch up to you, even the ones you tell yourself. You’ve been telling yourself for a long time that everything is fine, it’s not fine, and it’s catching up to you now.”
“How can I make it stop?” I ask them.
Every single one of them gives me a sympathetic look. That doesn’t fill me with hope.
“I’m afraid once you’ve started an emotional awakening, there’s no stopping it,” Hattie says.
“Maybe amnesia,” Harlow says. “I wouldn’t recommend that route. Any kind of growth hurts, Wren, but it’s always worth it. You and Griffin will be okay. If he doesn’t pull his head out of his ass, we’ll give Bess a lot of sugar and unleash her.”
Donovan fake shudders. “Anything but that. I don’t know that he’s committed that level of offense.”
Bess slaps him on the arm.
He looks pointedly at me. “See how violent she is?”
“You guys are awesome,” I gush. “I don’t know where I’d be without you.”
Hattie wraps her arm around my shoulders. “You’ll never have to find out. Not ever again. Are you ready to go home and face down your old man?”
“Emphasis on old,” Bess says and winks at me.
“The only way out is through,” I say to myself. “Yeah, let’s go,” I say louder to them.