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I thought he made a good point and so I stuck to his instructions.

But he was quieter than usual this morning, and more withdrawn.

One of us should have had the guts to talk about tonight.

Instead, the goodbye that has to come is just hanging in the air, a gloomy cloud of grey seeping into all the colour in the room and making everything else grey too.

‘Speech!’ Anna cries suddenly when I’m mid-conversation with the owner of the coffee shop I’ve been spending the majority of my earnings on. ‘Iris, time for a speech!’

I try waving her off, but soon the others all join in with her demands, giving me a round of applause before the bar falls silent.

Right at the back, I see Leo hovering, his eyes on the ground.

My heart lurches. I can’t leave it like this.

I’m going to have to force him to talk to me at some point.

I clear my throat, beaming around at the rest of my captive audience.

‘All right,’ I say, with a nervous laugh, ‘I suppose I can say a few words. Obrigada .’

My terrible pronunciation draws a cheer from the crowd, which I wave off with my hand, chuckling with embarrassment.

‘I’m afraid that’s the extent of my Portuguese, as you all know, so the rest of this’ speech—‘Not true, you can order a coffee in Portuguese!’ Marina corrects me, raising her glass, laughter rippling through the room.

‘That’s right, I can. Very important.’ I take a moment to think about what I want to say as the noise dies down again.

Taking a deep breath, I smile out at everyone.

‘Thank you all for coming tonight. It means a lot that you’re here to wave me off.

I can’t quite believe it’s only been a few weeks; it’s felt a lot longer than that. ’

‘Probably because you had to put up with Leo’s conversation,’ someone at the back quips, prompting further laughter.

I watch as his friends clap him on the back and he laughs along with the joke, shrugging and shaking his head.

I force a laugh, accidentally looking in the direction of Adriano, who offers me a sympathetic smile.

Reaching for my wine, I take a large gulp before gathering my line of thought and holding the room’s attention once more.

‘I have loved my time here and I can only hope that through my writing, I do all of you and your beautiful home justice. It’s strange to think that tomorrow, I’ll be back in England and, to be honest…

’ I swallow, my mouth suddenly bone dry ‘…I’m not sure anywhere else has captured my heart quite like this village. ’

My eyes naturally flicker to where Leo is standing. He meets my gaze and holds it, finally. Everyone else in the room falls away. It’s me and him. My strength wavers, hot tears pricking at my eyes. I exhale, my breath shaking.

Someone very softly clears their throat. I don’t have to look at them to know it’s Adriano. He’s saving me from myself. Plastering a grin on my face, I tear my eyes from Leo and hold my glass up in the air.

‘A friend of mine very recently told me that it’s the people who make the place,’ I declare. ‘Burgau has the scenery, it has the weather, it has the food, it has the wine – but, for me, this place truly is made by its people. So here’s to you!’

The guests cheer, raising their glasses.

‘Oh,’ I add, quickly, holding up my hand, ‘and if, when the article comes out, you’re pissed at anything in there, blame my editor. If you love it, it’s all me.’

I receive a satisfactory wave of laughter before an enthusiastic round of applause.

I attempt to make a beeline through the crowd for where Leo was standing.

I have to speak to him; I don’t want to wait any longer.

But I’m delayed in making my way through the bar, getting caught up in conversations with people I pass and by the time I reach the back, he’s not there.

I crane my neck to try to see him, but he’s nowhere.

After waiting a good amount of time to make sure he’s not just popped to the loo, and having checked with Adriano and his friends, none of whom know where he is, it dawns on me that he may have left.

‘Screw that,’ I mutter under my breath, furious at him as I march out the door.

He’s not getting away with slinking out of here without saying goodbye.

Not after the time we’ve spent together, the way we’ve talked, how intimate it’s been.

He might be too cowardly to talk about it, but I’m not – and I won’t let him be, either.

So, if I have to nip out of my own leaving drinks to walk all the way to his flat and have out this goodbye, then I bloody well will.

Walking down the rickety wooden path from the bar to the pavement, I have a wobbly moment on my heels and almost go over, groaning at the thought of walking all the way to his in these shoes. Why couldn’t he storm off after yoga when I was in trainers? Selfish prick.

A figure alone on the beach catches the corner of my eye.

I stop to squint at them and when they put their hands in their pockets, staring out at the ocean, I know it’s him. I can see that mop of unruly hair all the way from over here.

Crouching down to undo my shoes, I loop my finger through the ankle straps and then start making my way across the sand to him. He doesn’t notice me approaching until I’m practically right behind him.

‘Hey,’ he says, turning in surprise.

I glare at him. ‘Leo! What the fuck?’

He frowns, confused. ‘What?’

‘You stormed off without saying goodbye!’

‘No, I didn’t.’

‘Yes, you did. You left there to come over here without saying anything to me!’

The corners of his lips twitch. ‘You’re saying I should have bid you farewell before walking a few metres across the beach?’

‘Don’t try to twist this back on me,’ I huff, narrowing my eyes at him. ‘You haven’t said a word to me all night. You’ve been purposefully avoiding me.’

He drops his eyes to the sand, digging the heel of his foot into it.

‘What was I supposed to think? I wasn’t going to assume you’d temporarily sauntered off to brood on your own over here.’

He can’t fight a smile. ‘I wasn’t brooding.’

‘You’re on a beach, staring out at the ocean at night.’

‘I was thinking.’

‘That’s what brooding is, pretty much. Just throw in a frown – and you had one of those on,’ I say accusingly.

‘Fine,’ he sighs. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to drag you from your party. And I’m sorry because of me you had to take off your shoes. They’re very nice.’

I sniff, folding my arms. ‘All right, that comment earns you some points. What are you doing over here?’

He shrugs. ‘Thinking. I told you.’

‘Thinking about what ?’ I ask, exasperated.

He brings his eyes up to meet mine. ‘You,’ he says gently. ‘And what you said in your speech.’

I hesitate, a wave of guilt lurching through my stomach.

‘Okay I… I realise I may not have been as subtle as I should have been. Maybe that bit about the village capturing my heart was a bit over the top. But look, Leo, it’s okay, I’ve always known that this is where it, you know, comes to an end, this thing between me and you, and if by making that comment, I’ve made you feel uncomfortable, then—’

‘That’s not what I mean,’ he says abruptly.

‘Oh.’

He fixes me with his determined gaze. ‘What if it didn’t end?’

My breath hitches. ‘Leo—’

‘Hear me out,’ he requests, taking a step towards me. He licks his lips, his forehead furrowed as he searches for the right thing to say. ‘Do you remember when we were here for Anna’s party and we were in the back room searching for wine—?’

‘When you pretended not to know anything about it?’

‘Just to have the chance to talk to you more, yes,’ he says, brushing that off impatiently with a wave of his hand. ‘Do you remember what I said to you then? About why I felt unnerved by our chat on the beach.’

‘You… you said that I made you forget yourself,’ I answer quietly.

He nods, his expression softening. ‘Yes. It’s true, you make me forget myself. That made me a little scared at first. But now…’ he takes a deep breath in, before puffing all the air out his cheeks ‘…it makes me fucking terrified.’

The silence that falls between us is broken only by the sound of the waves rolling and breaking as they near the shore, the kind of comforting background noise I’ve become accustomed to over the last three weeks.

But I don’t feel comforted now. I’ve never been more on edge, frozen to the spot as I wait for him to explain what the fuck he’s talking about.

‘I’m starting to understand what that means,’ he continues, his shoulders relaxing a little, as though it’s a relief for him to say this out loud.

‘It means that for the first time in my life, I’m with someone who doesn’t make me feel like I need to be anyone more than I am.

So I don’t care that it’s only been a few weeks, I don’t give a shit about playing it cool, because the thing is,’ he breaks into a wide grin, his eyes twinkling at me, ‘you make me fucking happy, London. Deliriously happy. So happy, I genuinely do forget myself.’

I realise that my mouth has dropped open while he’s been talking. I’m staring at him in disbelief, my heart thudding at an alarming speed, my stomach knotting.

Oh my God.

‘I don’t want to say goodbye to you,’ he adds, a fierce determination in his eyes.

‘And the reason I’ve been avoiding you tonight is because I’ve been torn about how to possibly handle everything I’m feeling whilst looking you in the eye and wishing you luck before you get on a plane away from me tomorrow.

Then, your speech…’ he swallows, giving a nervous smile ‘…it gave me a bit of hope. Maybe you feel the same too.’

My blood is pounding so loud in my ears, I’m not sure I’m hearing him right.

And I’m way too stunned to form any kind of words right now. The way he’s looking at me, so earnest and sincere, his eyes bright with excitement, it’s more than my brain can handle. My mind is racing, desperately trying to make sense of what he’s saying.

‘I’m flying to Australia in a couple of weeks to spend some time surfing there before the contest,’ he continues, closing the gap between us by taking another step towards me.

‘After twelve years, I’m going back to where it all began and do my best to finally make everyone proud of me.

’ He looks so vulnerable suddenly, his expression full of worry, his hunched-over frame radiating his self-doubt.

‘I’m scared, Iris – I’m scared of the people from my past that I’ll have to face, of the people I let down, of what everyone will say about me.

I feel like I need to do this, but I also don’t know if I can. ’

My trembling hands ache to reach out to him. ‘Leo, of course you can.’

‘Maybe. Maybe if you were there with me.’ He smiles nervously at me. ‘Come with me to Australia.’

I inhale sharply.

‘I know it’s a lot to ask,’ he says, his eyes searching mine.

‘You don’t need to worry about having to ask the magazine for permission or anything; I’ll pay for your ticket, whatever you need.

But I think… I need you out there with me.

I need to know when I paddle out to the waves that you’re going to be on the shore when I come back in. ’

‘Leo,’ I croak, my voice hoarse and wavering, ‘I can’t .’ I lift my hand to rub my forehead, as if that might help sensible thoughts to form into sensible sentences that will come out of my mouth. ‘My work…’

‘You need an ending for your feature. Why wouldn’t you be there at Bells Beach to get it for yourself?’

‘Toni made it clear that wasn’t on the cards.

Leo, even if I didn’t ask the magazine to get me there, she would know what was going on between us.

Everyone would know. Your mum…’ I bite my lip.

‘It wouldn’t go down well. I can’t get blacklisted by the head of Bind Inc.

; it would really affect my career. And I can’t take time off work like that; I’m already behind on pitching for new commissions.

It would be too reckless and… stupid. It just—’

I groan, burying my head in my hands. I feel his warm fingers wrap around my wrists, gently lowering my hands so I’m forced to look right up into his glistening, brown eyes.

‘Is it so bad to be reckless?’ he asks, his voice low and soft. ‘That’s how this is meant to be, isn’t it?’

‘We haven’t known each other that long,’ I remind him, desperately trying to convince myself as much as him that this is a bad idea. ‘You might get tired of me. You’d regret inviting me all the way out there. Things would go wrong.’

He’s shaking his head as I’m talking, his hand reaching up to cup my cheek. ‘No.’

‘You don’t know what might happen. It could go bad.’

‘Fine, I don’t know what could happen further down the line, but, for me, it’s worth the risk,’ he states. ‘All the important things are.’

‘Oh God,’ I break into a wobbly smile, ‘you’re about to give a surfing analogy, aren’t you.’

‘See? We may not know each other that long, but you’ve sure got the measure of me. Here it is, one surfing analogy coming right up.’ He grins. ‘London, if I didn’t take any chances, I would never ride any waves. Take this one with me.’

Exhaling a shaky breath, I close my eyes, his fingers brushing my hair back from my face. I wasn’t prepared for this. It’s too sudden, too soon.

‘Hey,’ he says, prompting me to open my eyes to gaze into his, ‘you don’t have to make a decision now. I know that I’m asking a lot of you. But will you think about it?’

I cannot fly to Australia to be with Leo Silva.

The risk is too great; the stakes are too high.

But I also can’t tell him that now, not when he’s right here in front of me, looking at me so earnestly, it feels as though he might crumple if I say no.

I can’t tell him that when I can smell the wafts of his cologne in the salty breeze, a scent so intoxicating and comforting it makes me want to jump into his arms and stay there forever.

I’ll tell him when I’m back in England, when my heart isn’t aching for him, when my legs aren’t trembling, when the butterflies in my stomach have dissolved. I’ll tell him when everything is back to how it should be and this is all over.

‘Okay, Leo,’ I say quietly. ‘I’ll think about it.’

He smiles, gently brushing his lips against mine, exhaling softly, one hand tracing through my hair, the other moving around to my lower back and drawing me into him.

I melt into him, the rest of the world falling away into the sound of the rippling water of the ocean.

People from the bar would be able to see us if they looked hard enough, but it doesn’t matter.

Neither of us care anymore. Because for him, this is a kiss filled with hope.

But for me, this has to be goodbye.