Page 18

As I make my way to the bar for Marina’s girlfriend’s birthday party on Saturday, I feel nervous.

I haven’t spoken to Leo since Thursday night at the beach – or rather, he hasn’t spoken to me.

My messages have gone unanswered and I had to resist the urge to rock up at the surf shop.

I appreciate that it maybe didn’t look so good, me giving the impression that the interview was over when it wasn’t.

When I think about it, maybe it was a little underhanded.

I realise that I may have played into his belief that all journalists are tricksters out for a good headline, no matter the ethical cost. I wanted to give him some time to calm down and I thought that Marina’s party is the perfect place to approach him in a relaxed, non-professional setting. We need this to re-group.

I could also do with a day off.

Mum called when I was getting ready for the party.

‘I spoke to an estate agent yesterday,’ she informed me. ‘About the house.’

I’d paused midway through applying my lip liner. ‘ Our house?’

She cleared her throat. ‘Yes, the family house. Which isn’t really a family house anymore. Your father and I have both agreed that we should sell it.’

I don’t know why this news hits me so hard, but it does. I should have been expecting this. Did I really think Mum would go on living there forever? Surrounded by all those memories? It is a big house for one person. It makes sense to sell it. Of course it does.

But I felt winded. I even had to sit down on the edge of the bed.

‘Iris, are you still there?’ Mum asked nervously.

The concern in her voice catapulted me back into reality. She had enough on her plate without me being unsupportive. I’m a grown-up, not a child. It’s just a house.

‘Yes, sorry, I was concentrating on my make-up,’ I said hurriedly. ‘That’s great that you spoke to an estate agent! Was it all positive? How did you feel about it?’

She assured me that she was all right and it was for the best, and she said the estate agent was extremely complimentary, confirming that the house was in a desirable location.

The perfect home for a young family, apparently.

He thinks they would get an offer within the first week of it being on the market.

I mentioned that I had to rush off to the party, so we said goodbye and hung up.

It took me a few minutes to go back to the bathroom mirror to finish my make-up.

I had to focus on blinking back the hot tears at the back of my eyes, threatening to spill over and ruin the eyeliner I’d already applied.

I was embarrassed for myself. What a stupid reaction to something that should not be such a big deal.

‘Pull yourself together,’ I scolded myself.

The whole debacle made me change my outfit.

I’d been wearing wide-leg linen trousers and a strap top, but fuck it, I wanted to feel sexy.

I changed to a green dress with a plunging neckline and block heel shoes, throwing on a faded-black, baggy denim jacket to make the outfit more casual.

I boldened my eyeliner and I put on gold statement earrings, letting my hair down from its satin heatless curling headband.

It fell in soft waves past my shoulders.

I lifted my chin as I checked my reflection.

‘Better,’ I said, shaking off any sadness about saying goodbye to my childhood home.

As I approach the bar, the nerves flitting around my stomach intensify.

I try to rationalise why I feel this way.

My job isn’t about personal feelings, so I shouldn’t be upset that I may have affected Leo’s.

I think it’s because he proved that, beneath the hardened exterior he puts up for strangers, he’s actually very easy to get on with.

Naturally chatty, funny, thoughtful, he asked if I was cold, offering a hoodie. That was sweet.

But I need to remember that he’s not my friend.

He’s a job.

‘Iris, you made it!’ Marina calls out, beaming at me as I arrive at the bar, which is full of people. She weaves around a huddle of friends to greet me, pulling me into a hug, and I try to pretend I don’t notice all of them peering at me, intrigued.

‘Thanks again for inviting me.’

‘Here,’ she turns round to tap someone on the shoulder, ‘meet my girlfriend, Anna.’

With cascading, blonde hair and a blunt fringe that frames her delicate oval face, Anna has a striking smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks, and a smile as big and warm as Marina’s. A bit like Flora, she just looks friendly.

‘You must be Iris,’ Anna says in an English accent, before Marina has had the chance to introduce me. ‘It’s so nice to meet you. Marina mentioned you’d come.’

‘Thanks for having me,’ I say, before turning to Marina in surprise. ‘You didn’t tell me she was a Brit.’

‘She did tell me that you were, though,’ Anna says excitedly.

‘Nice to have some reinforcements. They’re always taking the piss out of me here.

I’m from Norfolk but went travelling on my gap year and never came home.

As soon as I met Marina, that was it. Made Burgau my home.

’ She grabs my hand and squeezes it. ‘I highly recommend the move. You should be here in the summer when it’s hot. ’

‘I’ll have to come back.’ I smile. I hold out the paper bag carrying the boxed candle I bought from one of the local shops yesterday. ‘Here, a little something for your birthday. Sorry, I wasn’t really sure what you like so it’s not very exciting.’

‘That is so nice of you!’ She peers into the bag, before holding out the gift so the others can admire the pink and gold wrapping paper and gold ribbon.

‘Oh my God, you wrap presents like a professional. Look at the bow and everything. How come none of my friends are this sophisticated?’ She holds out her arms and pulls me into a hug.

‘Thanks Iris. Come on, you have to meet everyone.’

‘She needs a drink first.’ Marina reaches for one of the bottles of white wine already out on the bar, grabbing one of the glasses alongside it. ‘Wine or something different?’

‘I think I’ll go with what I know for now,’ I say, taking it gratefully once it’s poured.

‘You’re going to need the Dutch courage,’ Anna says, lowering her voice. ‘Some of our friends have made enquiries about you. I think they’ve seen you around.’

‘What does that mean?’ I wonder whether Leo has started to turn the locals against me. ‘Do people not want me here?’

‘What?’ Anna balks. ‘The opposite!’

‘Okay, we have some single friends,’ Marina sighs, rolling her eyes. ‘But we weren’t sure if you were interested. We know you’re here to work, so…’

‘So tell us to fuck off if we’re being inappropriate or if you’re in a relationship already, basically,’ Anna finishes bluntly for her.

‘Oh.’ I smile, taking a large gulp of wine. ‘I could be interested.’

‘ Yesss ,’ Anna says excitedly, holding up her glass to clink it against mine. ‘Is there anyone who you’ve got your eye on? What’s your type?’

‘She only just arrived, Anna; you’re embarrassing her,’ Marina scolds, grabbing my hand and pulling me away towards a group of people hanging at the front of the bar, leaving Anna giggling into her glass.

‘You have to forgive her. She likes to play matchmaker. Here, these are two couples so you can relax. They speak English very well too. Everyone,’ she raises her voice, stepping into the huddle of four, ‘this is my new friend Iris.’

I’m grateful for the introduction and soon ease into conversation with Marina and her friends, who politely ask why I’m in Burgau and then move into a debate about the best surf spots along the coast. While they talk, I try to stealthily spot Leo amongst the crowd of people here, but I’m busted within a couple of minutes.

‘Looking for someone?’ Marina asks innocently, leaning towards me.

‘No, not really.’ I shrug, but then buckle under her pointed look. ‘Okay, fine, I was wondering if Leo might be here. You said he was coming.’

She gives me a triumphant smile. ‘I thought I saw you two getting cosy on the beach the other night.’

I splutter, dabbing my mouth with the back of my hand. ‘That was work! It was the first interview. I finally managed to pin him down and get him to talk to me.’

‘On a beach in the moonlight,’ she says dreamily, nudging me with her elbow.

‘It was not moonlight; it was early evening! And he chose the beach. Anyway, it didn’t go well.’

She looks confused. ‘Really? It looked like it was going very well from here. He was laughing, you were laughing. He looked… relaxed, which is a good step. The only time he’s truly himself is when he’s on a board in the water. I think in another life, he was a merman.’

I look down at the floor guiltily. ‘He was fairly relaxed at the beginning, I think. But I messed it up. I think he’s mad at me, actually.’

‘Well, I don’t know what happened in the end, but I can tell you that from over here, I could see that big smile of his,’ she says sternly, forcing me to look at her. ‘And he doesn’t smile like that for anyone.’

I’m distracted by the crowd parting behind her – and there he is.

He’s with a couple of guys, wearing a relaxed white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, highlighting his gorgeously tanned arms, and navy board shorts with flip-flops.

Even though he’s not just stepped out from the sea, his thick, brown hair is tousled and messy.

His hands in his pockets, he’s laughing at something the guy next to him is saying, the two of them joking with each other.

He looks so at ease with his friends – the real Leo I got a glimpse of at the beach – so different to what he’s been like with me.

He glances over and our eyes meet.

My breath catches and my stomach flips. I really shouldn’t allow him to have this kind of physical effect on me, but my body doesn’t seem to care.

Marina follows my eyeline before turning back to face me with an I-told-you-so expression, so I quickly feel the need to explain.