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I’ll be the one to break and message you first. How is your day going?

An overwhelming rush of affection floods through me and makes me slink down in the chair, clutching my phone with both hands, delighted at the idea of him thinking about me.

Leo’s typing again. I wait, my breath catching in my throat.

Did you change your flight?

Cute .

He’s seen I’ve read it, so I don’t consider making him wait around for a response. Instead, I bite my lip and start typing back.

Yes, I did. I’m here another week

He’s still online and the ticks go blue straight away. He’s typing again.

Leo

We should celebrate. What are you doing now?

Writing about you actually

Or at least trying to

Leo

Study break?

Sighing heavily, I glumly type my response. I know I’m doing the right thing, but it really fucking sucks. Usually, I quite like being efficient and responsible, revelling in getting things ticked off my list.

Not today. Today, I want to be back at Leo’s flat, tangled up in his sheets.

I can’t My editor needs some pages by tonight

Leo

How far have you got?

I lift my eyebrows. ‘Honestly?’ I say out loud, before taking a photo of the blank page on my laptop screen and sending it to him.

Wow. My ego just took a bruising. Do I not inspire you at all, London?

His teasing message makes my stomach pool with a rich, comforting warmth, the kind you get when you’ve been out in the cold, braving the brisk, crisp air, and then you step inside and clasp the mug of a sweet, hot drink, and you take a sip and have that rush of heat trailing down your throat, making your toes bunch up in your shoes.

Cosy, safe, secure. I’m not sure I even realised it, but today I’ve been missing him.

I haven’t just been fantasising about the sex – which, obviously, I’ve been doing a lot of, because hi, I’m human – I’ve also been missing his company.

Now I know he’s thinking of me and so everything is as it should be.

This crush is insane .

You inspire me just fine I’ve been working on the structure Getting an idea of the order of things

Leo

Not one word on that page

I haven’t inspired ONE word

It always takes a long time to start The perfect first line will come to me. You’ll see

There’s a delay before his next message comes through. The ticks of my message are blue and it says he’s still online, but it takes a few moments before I see that he’s typing again. Then his messages pop up.

Let me come over. We can work on the inspiration together

Oh God. I wish I could say yes. But if he comes here, I won’t want him to leave and I have too much to do. I let out a groan of disappointment. I can’t let Toni down when she’s been so understanding about my change of plan. It’s only one day; I can see him tomorrow.

I type slowly, hating myself and unreasonably resenting Toni.

Maybe tomorrow? I have to meet this deadline tonight

Leo

I have a busy day tomorrow

Are you now trying to play it cool?

Leo

I don’t need to play it cool

It’s natural to me

But I genuinely do have a lot on tomorrow

Tomorrow evening maybe?

Leo

I have a dinner with friends

My shoulders slump forwards. It is understandable that he’d be busy over the weekend; I can’t expect him to clear his calendar for me.

We’ll have to wait until Sunday. I think about his lips on mine, his body pressed against mine, the things he said about how much he’d wanted me, falling asleep in his arms so quickly, so comfortably…

Fuck . Sunday is years away.

No worries

Leo

Sunday?

Sunday it is. How was surfing today?

Leo

It was great actually

Weirdly, I was in a really good mood

Can’t think why

Argh, I’m literally aching for him. His flirting is making butterflies dance wildly around my stomach, somersaulting and spinning, having the time of their lives in there.

How strange. I’m pleased for you. Any wipeouts?

Leo

One quite big one

My stomach drops at the idea of him being hurt. I’m glad I wasn’t there to see it.

But that’s okay. It’s a good thing.

If I didn’t wipeout every now and then,

I’d know I wasn’t pushing myself hard enough

I read his messages twice. Something is whirring in the back of my brain, something important, a niggle that is making its way through the jumbled thoughts and—

Leo, I’ve got to go

Leo

Everything okay?

Yes. Don’t let your ego explode But I think you’ve just inspired me

Sliding into my seat, I shove my phone on the table and wake up my dozing laptop. The blank word document flashes up at me. Resting my fingers on the keyboard, I take a deep breath in, push back my shoulders, and I begin to type.

Leo Silva is afraid of the ocean.

If that doesn’t strike you as strange, then it should, because Leo Silva is a former world champion surfer.

After twelve years of retirement, he’s now training to compete in a leg of the World Surf League Championship Tour once more: the iconic Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach contest that takes place in Victoria, Australia in just a few weeks.

A young surf prodigy, a lifetime of experience, dozens of trophies – this man practically grew up on the water and has rarely been out of it, even since his early retirement.

That he should be afraid of it simply doesn’t make any sense.

And anyone who has the privilege to witness him surfing couldn’t possibly think it.

Out there, gliding on the waves, Leo Silva looks fearless.

But I’m slowly learning that this contradiction is what makes him one of the best surfers in the world.

It’s not just his breathtaking skill, his dazzling talent, his expert mastery of the water.

It’s that he also accepts that things can go wrong, that mistakes can be made and learnt from, and that sometimes to end up winning, you have to lose first. A lifetime on the water hasn’t only inspired him, it’s humbled him.

Like Leo proposes to be, I am scared of the ocean. So afraid, I haven’t gone near it for years. And I’ve never surfed before. But on a warm day in March, standing on Burgau beach in Portugal with him, I believe him when he says that by the end of the day, I’ll be riding the waves on a surfboard.

That’s the kind of athlete he is. The kind that makes you feel like you can do anything.

Lifting my hands off the keyboard, I read through what I’ve written.

It needs polishing, but it’s not a bad start.