Page 1 of Revelry (Cowgirls Do It Better #2)

Tate

SIXTEEN YEARS AGO…

“Tate!”

I jolted as my mother’s shriek rang out from upstairs. I leapt into action, running around the kitchen, grabbing her pills and crushing them up. I fumbled them in my hurry and cursed at my shaking fingers as my anxiety flared.

White dust sprayed across the clean countertop and I stared at it, torn between wiping it up and starting again.

My mind raced with different thoughts, grab a cloth and wipe it up, then dry it, then get two new pills, crush those and make sure you don’t drop them.

Get Ma some fresh water because now it’s been sitting out too long and it’ll be warm, she won’t like that.

Then make sure her food hasn’t gone cold and don’t forget to put the laundry out as it’s been sitting in the machine while you’ve been doing this.

The longer you take on this, the more it’ll sit, then it’ll smell and you’ll have to rewash it which means you can only do two loads and you need to wash her sheets because she doesn’t like it if they’re not fresh so you need to—

I clicked my fingers three times, snapping myself out of my spiraling thoughts. I tried taking deep breaths. I’d read on the Internet that that helped, but my mind just reminded me that taking deep breaths to calm down was wasting time and delaying everything I needed to do.

“TATE!” Ma yelled again. I snapped to it, clearing up the mess I’d made and starting again.

I poured the crushed powder into her water glass and stirred it in well, knowing she didn’t like the taste.

I could hear her crying out in pain so hurried out of the kitchen and up the stairs, spilling some of her water.

I paused, needing to mop it up but did I take Mom’s medicine upstairs and then come back and clean it or did I clean it and then take her stuff up?

“TATE HURRY UP!”

I wanted to cry.

I couldn’t cope with the pressure. Why was it all on me? I was too young for this. I should be out with friends having fun, not here trapped in this house. I didn’t want to be responsible for another person anymore.

“Coming Ma!” I called back, my voice shaky. I quickly wiped the side of the glass on my t-shirt to dry the spillage; she wouldn’t want to touch a wet glass.

“I need my pills, Tate!” she said as I rounded the stairs and went into her room. “What took you so long?” She glared at me with red-rimmed eyes, her mouth twisted in a grimace.

“I’m sorry, I spilled them and had to start again.”

Instantly I knew I’d said the wrong thing. She bolted upright in bed, her stare wide.

“You spilled some? How many? Can you save them? You know these need to last until the end of the week!”

My stomach clenched in fear. “I’m sorry, Ma.” What if she ran out of pills before she could get back to the doctor? “I’ll check how many we’ve got left.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You’d better hope it’s enough! Now give them to me.”

I held out the glass and she snatched it from me, pulling it to her mouth and taking desperate gulps, flinching. “It’s too warm, Tate! Are you trying to upset me?”

Of course. “I’m sorry, I thought it was cool enough.”

“You thought wrong. God, you can’t do anything right! Luckily for you, because you took so long, I’m too desperate to make you start over!”

I bit my lip, trying not to cry. “I’ll do better next time, I promise.”

She gave me a look that said she didn’t care before she downed the rest of the water and handed me back the glass, wiping her mouth then gagging. “I could taste the pills, Tate. You know I don’t like that.”

“Maybe you should try taking them with juice or something?” I offered, anything to make this better for her.

“Don’t be stupid, I need to have water .” She eyed the duvet cover, white with burgundy flowers. “This needs a wash.”

“I know Ma, I’m just about to put another load on before I go out.”

Her stare snapped to me, the duvet forgotten. “You’re going out?”

My pulse throbbed painfully, my heart pounding. “Yes, remember? I got a job to help out.”

Her eyes narrowed to slits. “Don’t lie to me. You’re going to leave me, too, aren’t you?”

My heart ached, fury rushing my veins at the situation he’d left us in, until I swallowed it down. “No, Ma. We need more money, that’s all. I’m doing it so we can stay together.”

She nodded, her lank, brown hair bobbing around her face. Her expression fell and she burst into tears. “I’m sorry, Tate. You’re a good boy, I know you are. I know you’d never leave me. Never. Can I have a hug?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat, fighting the urge to run for the door. But although I was desperate to leave, I needed this comfort too. “Sure, Mama.”

I sat on the edge of the bed and she flung her arms around my neck. I squeezed her tight, breathing in her scent and calming. We sat like that for ages before she eventually sniffled and pulled away.

“You won’t be gone long, will you?” Her voice was soft, sad.

I looked into her eyes, the lines in the corners had deepened in the last year with her stress and depression. “No, it’s only a short shift.”

That seemed to make her happy, her lips lifted into a wobbly smile. “Good. I think I’ll sleep some more and then when I wake, you’ll be back.”

I nodded, relieved that she seemed to be in good spirits. Those days were getting fewer and farther between and I was struggling to know what to do. She turned her back on me and snuggled down under her blankets. I left and closed the door gently, sighing with relief as I headed to my room.

My bedroom was pretty basic; wooden floors and paneled walls covered with posters of sports teams and retro art prints of The Grand Canyon and Yellowstone.

My bed had a blue cover over it and a magazine from an animal charity I was interested in sat on top.

I loved animals but Mama wouldn’t let me have any, said they’d just die and leave her.

I changed into my uniform for Tony’s Pizzeria where I’d taken an afterschool job.

My red checkered shirt was getting tight.

Over the last year I’d had a growth spurt and bulked up so I wasn’t a gangly little kid anymore.

I got some attention from girls at school but I wasn’t interested.

I had too much going on here and the thought of bringing a girl home to meet Mama made me feel ill.

A car horn blared outside and I cringed, hoping it wouldn’t wake Ma. I ran downstairs and peered out the window, seeing an old truck parked outside the house next door.

My neighbor, Gertrude, appeared and like a hurricane, swept across the yard and ran into the truck giggling.

Gertrude was in some of my classes at school.

We didn’t talk much, didn’t know each other that well even though we lived next door.

You’d think us being the same age, it would make sense to hang out, but I tended to keep to myself.

Gertrude was beautiful. Short, curvy with a larger-than-life personality.

Loud and confident. Dark curls that were as wild as her laughter.

I bit my cheek and turned away from the window, trying to ignore the jealousy prodding at me.

I wanted to be the one taking her out. I wanted to be going out with friends.

But I couldn’t, didn’t want anyone getting close enough to see into my life.

I finished getting ready and put a new load in the machine, checked the house and tried to ignore the anxiety clawing at my chest that something wasn’t right. I checked the house again, hoping that everything would be okay once I left.

I biked to work; I couldn’t afford a car so my bike was all I had. My cheeks burned all the way to the restaurant thinking about how lame it would be to pick a girl up for a date on my bike, rather than some cool truck like other kids.

Just another reason why Gertrude would never be interested in me.

The dinner rush kept me occupied. Tony’s Pizzeria was cheap and cheerful and the place where the local teens hung out, when they weren’t making out in the back row at the library.

The red and white tiled walls and floor were a strain on the eyes.

The red vinyl booths and cracked plastic tables weren’t perfect, but the pizza was.

Tony had been running the place since the 70s and practically lived in the kitchen. He shouted. A lot. But he knew his way around a pizza and the place was always packed. Most teenagers in Reverence had worked at Tony’s at some point, it was like a rite of passage in this town.

And now it was my turn but tonight, I wasn’t loving it. One of my tables had some guys from the high school football team, and their girlfriends, including Gertrude.

I headed over to take their order, feeling sick at the ribbing I knew they would give me. Just because I’d gotten taller and broader didn’t mean I was as big as them and they loved to poke fun at me about trying to catch up .

“What can I get y’all?” I asked, eyes firmly planted on my notepad and not on Gertrude who I could feel watching me.

“Hey Tatey-cakes! You’re looking buff!” Carter Hains called. He was a senior and captain of the football team. He was also Gertrude’s current boyfriend. He reached up and punched me on the bicep. It hurt like hell but I didn’t flinch, I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of knowing they hurt me.

“Bro didn’t even feel that, do it again Carter!” yelled Billy Pope, his best friend.

I tensed my arm, ready for the blow.

“Leave him alone, I’m hungry!” Gertrude pouted.

I finally lifted my eyes from my notepad to see her deep indigo stare locked on mine. My mouth dried when she winked at me but again, I didn’t react. I flicked my eyes away, not wanting Carter to catch me staring.

Carter finally ordered for the table, then tugged Gertrude into his lap, shouting “I need some Flirty Gertie!”

Gertrude squealed and they proceeded to make out ferociously, turning my stomach. I watched as his hands roved over her, squeezing her flesh, pawing at her while Billy encouraged him and grabbed his own girlfriend.