Page 8 of Resistance Training

“Well…I do want to be more active and to feel better about…things. But I don’t want to lose my very attractive womanly curves.”

Thank God. I am silently awarding myself the Best Actor Oscar for my face’s performance while she watches me for a reaction.

The short film that will be adapted from this interaction will be called I Hadn’t Noticed Your Very Attractive Womanly Curves, Vivian, and I Don’t Have the Urge To High-Five You or Yell Out “Fuck Yeah!” At All, but I Can Do My Job and Help You Reach That Goal If That’s What You Want.

“Roger that. We can focus on routines that will give you a toned hourglass body type.”

“That’s a thing? There really are workouts for that?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Great! Let’s work on my booty.”

Yesssssss. But no. “You got it. There will be minimal cardio.”

“Sounds amazing.”

“And a lot of strength and resistance training.”

“ That I am less enthusiastic about. Define a lot .”

“Slightly to a good deal more than you’ll feel comfortable with.

That’s how we get gains. Through systemic progressive overload.

We’ll build your shoulders and glutes while getting your core tight and strong.

Think about creating contrast—wider shoulders, curvier hips, defined waist. It’s all about proportions and muscle building.

It is very important to combine these workouts with a daily increase in protein. There’s an app I can recommend.”

The most gorgeous, outrageous smile spreads across her face. “Remember when we went to the Outback Steakhouse in Bellevue and ate all the appetizers?”

God dammit. I do remember that. That was a fun day. They were all fun days with Vivian, until that one day.

“The app I’m referring to will track your macronutrients and caloric intake.”

“No, thank you. I don’t want that.”

“Nutritional coaching is an important part of the personal training I offer. A restrictive diet is not required?—”

“Good, because I recently got out of a relationship with a man who was very controlling and one of the things I let him control was my diet. I vowed never to allow anyone to control me in such a way again.”

Shit.

What a dick.

What a fucking idiot.

“I hear you,” I tell her. “I’m sorry if that was a traumatic experience for you.”

“He also insisted on jogging a lot, which I did not enjoy.”

“Like I said, the cardio will be minimal. Two to three short sessions per week, so we don’t interfere with the muscle building. I’m not asking you to limit your caloric intake, Vivian, but sugar isn’t good for you. At all. You need protein to build muscle. That’s all there is to it.”

“Fine. I’ll track my macros.”

“Great.”

“Speaking of keeping track of things and people, are you back on Facebook? I haven’t checked in a while.”

So she has been checking. I wish that didn’t please me so intensely.

“I am not. You will weigh yourself first thing in the morning, twice a week only, and keep track of your weight in that journal. Scale weight is not a good indication of your progress at this stage when you’re starting to build muscle.

You will keep a record of your measurements, and once a week you will take a selfie when you’re wearing the same workout clothes each time—preferably tights and a form-fitting tank top or sports bra.

Same time of day, same pose, same background—no clutter.

Same lighting, same angles. Front, side, and back. Not in the mirror. Use a tripod.”

I glance up at her again. She isn’t grinning anymore. Good.

“Any questions?”

“What if I don’t have a tripod?”

“Then you will find something to prop your phone up with. For the first three weeks you will take pictures of your meals and text them to me before eating them. You will be held accountable for your choices and you will be able to assess how your bad choices have given you an outcome you don’t want. ”

She’s frowning at me now. Her nostrils flare. It’s fantastic. “Uh-huh. I see what this is.”

“ This is how I am with all of my clients, Vivian.”

“Oh yeah? You’ve really found your calling, huh?”

“My other clients certainly think so.” I hand her my business card. “Here’s my card. My private number is on the back. Please don’t share it with anyone. That’s for food diary check-ins only, but I want to see everything you put in your mouth before you put it in your mouth.”

Shit.

I don’t even have to look at Vivian to know what expression is on her face. She smacks her lips together and laughs on an exhale. “Roger that , sir.”

“This is for the sake of monitoring, not controlling your dietary choices. You will be accountable to me.”

“Oh, I get it.”

I successfully refrain from telling her she’s gonna get it if she keeps up the sass.

“So, do you live around here? I still can’t believe you live in Portland. Did you not end up going to Princeton? I can’t believe we haven’t run into each other at all. Did you know that I live here?”

“Not until your sister told me very recently.” Standing, I say, “Let’s get to the workout.

” I go to the door, but before opening it, I continue.

“From the brief conversation I had with your sister and from what you just told me about your recent ex-boyfriend, it sounds like you have a lot of motivation to get in shape.”

She frowns at me again. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, Aubrey mentioned that he’ll be at her wedding, with his new fiancée.”

“She told you that?”

“Only because she wanted me to feel sorry for you and make room for you in my schedule.”

“Fantastic. So you do feel sorry for me?”

“I’m sorry he deceived you for so long and I’m sorry if he hurt you, but I think you should reframe the upcoming situation to your advantage.”

“How so?”

“Well, revenge is a great motivator. How do you want him to feel when he sees you again for the first time after he betrayed you and broke your heart?”

She searches my face for clues. Am I serious with this? Oh yes. Yes, I am. She shifts her weight from side to side as she places the journal I gave her inside her bag. “I mean. I wouldn’t say he broke my heart exactly. We had been growing apart for quite a while and?—”

“How do you want him to feel, Vivian?”

She forces a smile. “I wish him and his fiancée well.”

“How do you want him to feel?

“Happy to see me, and I will feel the same way about him because it’s healthy and good to forgive people!”

“How do you want him to feel when he sees you?”

She sighs. “Proud of me and regretful.”

I open the door and gesture for her to leave my office. “Maybe you should just download the Noom app. I will reimburse your sister.”

She glares at me. “I want him to jizz in his pants and burst into tears, and I want his fiancée to cover her eyes and run away screaming because she’s horrified by how hot I am.”

I grin. “Now we’re talking. And how will you feel when this happens?”

“Sympathetic.”

“That’s soft.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“It’s not quite an emotion, though, is it? If you have an emotional connection to your goal you’re more likely to achieve it.”

“Okay. I get that. Right now, I’ll say that I will gloat.”

“Not really a feeling.”

“I’ll be gloated. But I will probably feel differently three months from now. I mean, time heals all wounds, right?”

“Not always.”

“But it should!” she says, holding up a finger. “I do believe in forgiveness above all else.”

“That’s adorable. Unfortunately forgiveness is not a strong motivator when it comes to achieving peak fitness levels.”

“Says who?”

“Says the one of us who’s certified in personal fitness training.”

“Well, maybe I’ll be the first person in history who gets in shape because she’s so forgiving of people’s past mistakes.”

I lean in and speak directly into her ear, giving her a mere hint of the verbal spanking she deserves. “No, Vivian. You’re going to get in shape because I’m going to whip you into shape .”