Page 15 of Resistance Training

VIVIAN

W hy am I so attracted to men who love discipline and hate sugar?

It wasn’t all that hard to live without the croissants and the Danishes before. I can live without them again. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to give up tacos and artisanal ice cream and pie.

My phone vibrates in my pocket again. I left my sister a message on my way home from the gym.

The message was: Aubrey, what the fuck? She has been texting and calling and FaceTiming me for the past hour.

I’ve finished my dinner and taken a shower and tried to talk some sense into my throbbing clitoris and vulva, but they are determined to convince Brad Mitchell that he has unfinished business with them.

I’ve snuggled with Hairy Styles and done the dishes, and now I’m ready to find out what the hell Aubrey has been up to.

I settle into my armchair, cross-legged, even though my legs are already feeling kind of tight, and then I accept her FaceTime call. She looks very impatient. And judging by the way she’s swaying back and forth, I’d say she’s on her stationary bicycle. “Oh my God, finally! Tell me everything.”

“Hi, how are you?” I ask, playing it cool.

“How was it?”

“Good! I slayed.”

“Wait, what? What about Brad?”

“Yeah, that was a surprise.”

“Don’t mess with me—tell me!”

“ You tell me! How did you know? How long have you known? Why couldn’t you give me some warning—oh my God, I was wearing neon Target gym clothes, Aubrey! Neon! How did you find him?”

“Oh, pffft. You know.” She waves her hand dismissively and starts pedaling faster. “I low-key hired a private investigator.”

“What?”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“You hired a detective?”

“It’s seriously not that big of a deal. People do it all the time.”

“People Google people all the time. I’m pretty sure they don’t hire PIs all the time. Oh my God, you’re so intense. When did you do this?”

“After the second time I came to visit you, after Jeremy left and you…began your love affair with yourself. You were so depressed, Vivi, and I hadn’t seen you like that since Brad ghosted you.

I just didn’t think you cared that much about Jeremy, so I figured it was more about Brad.

And I’ve just always felt so guilty about insisting you should go to prom with Hot Brad.

It was not my finest big-sister moment.”

“Well. First of all, Brad Mitchell is the Hot Brad now.”

“Oh, I know.”

“And I still don’t think he’d forgive me for going to prom with Other Brad just because you insisted.”

“Wait, he’s still mad at you?”

“Big time.”

“So he wasn’t nice to you?”

“Enh. He was not warm. He was kind of a dick sometimes, actually. But he was professional.”

“What an asshole. He gave me no indication that he’s still mad at you—I’m so sorry. I will get him to give me a refund. You don’t have to keep going.”

“No! I’ll work on him.”

“Oh, really ?”

“I mean, he’s actually a good trainer, I think. But he seems to have built his new life around his anger. You should see this journal he gives his clients. It’s like he’s weaponized his backstory.”

“Mmmm.”

“And by backstory I am not only referring to his butt.”

“Well. I am a soon-to-be happily married lady, however I did notice his excellent gluteal situation in various Instagram posts that I only looked at because I was tracking him down for you.”

“So thorough. Anyway, I don’t think it’s just me he’s mad at.”

“It better not be. I’m serious—if you don’t like the way he’s treating you, we end this. Right?”

“Of course. Yes. I just want to prove to him that I’m awesome and he shouldn’t be mad at me, and if I happen to get hotter and hotter while working out with him, then where’s the damage?

Right? And if me getting hotter causes him to suffer, then that would be amazing and I still get to take the high road. ”

She stops pedaling and guzzles from her enormous water bottle and then says, “Okay. I like this for you. I really am a genius for making this happen even if he’s being an asshat.”

“Thank you for doing this. Really. This was top-shelf big-sistering.”

“I really hope he realizes how awesome you are.”

“He never read all those emails I sent him. Can you believe it?”

Aubrey looks aghast. “Did he delete them?”

“No! He said he didn’t.”

“So they’re just sitting there in a folder unread?” She smirks. “I bet he’s reading them tonight.”

“I don’t think so. He’s really stubborn.”

“Well, he will… Oh!” Her eyes widen. “Vivi!”

“What?!”

“If Brad never read your emails he probably thinks you had sex with Brad Turner!”

“Oh, shit. You’re right.” Poor Bradley. All this time, he probably just assumed I boned his nemesis just because I went to prom with him. “Oh no. No wonder! Oh, the poor guy! Should I text him and tell him right now?”

Aubrey smacks her lips together. “Um. Probably not the kind of thing you text your new personal trainer. What were you gonna say? BTW, I didn’t bone Other Brad. Have a good night! ”

I mean, honestly, that is exactly what I would text him, and I hate that she knows that. “No, more like, FYI, in case you have been operating under the assumption that I had sex with Brad Turner just because I attended prom with him—I did not. See you on Wednesday. ”

She wrinkles her nose. “This is probably a face-to-face conversation.”

“Yeah. You’re right. I should go to the gym tomorrow after work.”

“Or. Make him wait. Since he was such a jerk to you.”

“Oh, well, I like that even more. Thank you.”

“Vivi, can I just say—do you see yourself? You’re glowing. Not in a sex way. You’re just so much more, you know, alive than I’ve seen you in months. Years, even.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I feel that. I mean, regardless of what a dickhead he was being, it was…significant…seeing him again. Finding out he’s here. Just being with him. He walked me to my car after the session and?—”

“Wait a minute, hold up.” She picks up her phone, dismounts, and starts stretching. I should really join her in stretching, but I don’t. “He walked you to your car? Did you ask him to?”

“No, he offered.”

“Interesting.”

“Right?”

“Very significant. And adorable. Continue.”

“I mean, it’s not that significant for him.

For the old him anyway. That’s just the kind of thing he’d always do.

When we hung out he always insisted on driving or walking me home even though it was only a few blocks.

He was still being a stubborn turd, but it felt…

I don’t know. Even though I was walking down the sidewalk at night with a hot guy who was being kind of a jerk to me, it was the first time I’ve felt that thing here, you know?

That I never had with Jeremy. It felt kind of romantic.

I feel hopeful. Maybe I’ll be open to dating again soon. Even if it’s not with Brad.”

“Okay. Okay, I like it.” She holds her index finger up. “But if you don’t like the way he treats you, you do not have to stand for that.”

“What are you gonna do? Low-key hire a hitman?”

“I mean. I’d send him a strongly worded email first.”

I smile at that. She writes really good strongly worded emails.

“I think it’ll be okay. I think it’s good for me to be around him, even if he is mad at me.

He reminds me of who I was before I got so into dating apps and then tried so hard to prove that I could be in a relationship with a sociopath. ”

“Yeah,” she says, glancing around to see if her fiancé is within earshot. “I mean. Jeremy isn’t actually a sociopath, but?—”

“Okay, I’m not at the point where I’m willing to hear anyone say he’s not a terrible person yet.”

“Got it. Yes. I support you returning to you. This is exactly what I wanted for you, Vivi. Not that I thought there was anything wrong with the dating-app phase.”

“Um. You literally said you’ve known fruit flies who have longer lifespans than my relationships.”

“I only meant that you deserved better. But that was very clever of me.”

I am clearly still on an endorphin high from the workout and seeing Brad, because I can only laugh at that. “It was funny because it was true.”

“Yeah. I can see you getting that spark back already, and I’m glad.” She rubs her lips together and gets this elfin look in her eyes that makes me uncomfortable.

“But?”

“But you still have to bring a date to my wedding, so if it doesn’t work out with Brad, then maybe you can meet someone else at the gym.”

I sigh. “Okay.” I wonder if Dolores is single… “But enough about me. How many items did you check off of your wedding-planning to-do list today?”

Aubrey tells me about all nine things she checked off of her to-do list today, including securing the hotel and event space and minister, and my mind only wanders to Brad’s butt in those joggers five times.

And then she does that thing. She clears her throat and her eyes get watery. “I just love him so much, Vivi.”

“Aww, I know.”

“And I know it probably looks like I’m obsessed with the wedding and the ring and the I’m getting married! of it all, but that’s not the thing that makes me so happy.”

“Tell me.”

She clears her throat and then coughs a little and finally says, “It’s the little things.

Just living with him. We’re so comfortable around each other.

He wanders around naked all the time, and not in a sexy way.

We have conversations where I’m brushing my teeth and he’s clipping his toenails.

He farts in bed and we laugh, and it’s just so cozy. ”

My brain just caved in. “Please tell me you fart around him too.”

“No, I don’t fart—that’s gross.” She bursts out laughing.

“I do, Vivi! He is literally the only person I fart around besides you, and I know that doesn’t sound romantic but it’s really and truly lovely, and I want that for you.

I want you to have someone you can be that cozy with.

And if that somehow sounds condescending, then I give up, because it’s the most loving big-sisterly thing I can say to you right now.

” She clears her throat and sniffles. “If you make me cry, I’m hanging up. ”

I instantly burst into tears because it is honestly the sweetest thing she’s ever said to me.

I’m not done enjoying living by myself yet, but if I ever live with a man again, I want it to be someone who cuts his toenails in front of me, but not in a gross way.

Aubrey makes a squawking sound, tells me she loves me, and hangs up.

What a day.

Now I can’t wait to see Brad again so I can clear things up and hopefully start over.