Page 28 of Resistance Training

VIVIAN

FUEL: Two eggs, three pieces of turkey bacon, half an avocado, half a cup of low fat cottage cheese, and the unbridled pleasure of receiving a Ha Ha reaction from my personal clitoral trainer. I won breakfast!

FIRE: I still don’t completely understand what this is all about, but I’ll just say that I feel hot and I look hot and I am hot and therefore I am the fire.

FORTRESS: My butt looks amazing and I can literally feel the torn muscle fibers repairing themselves into even hotter butt muscles.

My amazing butt is my fortress. It allows me to sit comfortably—when it isn’t super sore, that is—and it allows me to walk with the jaunty juiciness of my youth.

I have no idea what this F is F-ing about and I’m not going to text my F-ing trainer to ask him.

Even though I really want him to massage my jaunty fortress again.

FRACTURES: His hands and mouth and tongue have ruined me for all other hands and mouths and tongues.

I am torn between wanting to melt his armor, wanting to strangle him for being such a stubborn assmonkey, and wanting to cautiously, quietly, patiently wait for him to realize that I’m here.

I’m here for him but I don’t want to scare him off because I don’t want to lose him again.

But I also don’t want to lose myself to yet another guy who isn’t capable of loving me the way I want to be loved.

I don’t really even know if this Mitch person is capable in the way that Bradley was.

And even though I may have been the trigger for his transformation, I need to make sure I don’t stick around out of guilt if we can’t have the kind of relationship I want for us.

I don’t want anyone else’s hands or mouth or tongue on me, but I won’t let Mitch break my heart the way Bradley did. Only Brad and I can heal it.

Jesus, this is weird.