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S ecuring Calista’s help was one obstacle off my path, but I still had one more thing to do.

The following day, we climbed the wall, ran laps, did crunches, burpees, pull-ups, sit-ups—all the crazy things we needed to do.

But being only three days out from the mission, the drill sergeant started giving us our evenings back with the promise that on our last day, we would have PTO to decompress before game time.

The whole time we were so busy that Wes and I hardly spoke except for when we were training.

He would steal a kiss from me here or there, but I didn’t have the heart to kiss him back.

And he sensed it. He sensed my reservation, causing him to raise his brow.

And I wanted to, but I knew it would only leave him more confused when the time came for me to break his heart.

I needed Matias. We were given the evening off, and I reluctantly asked Calista to keep Wes busy so I could find Matias. After searching in a few places, I found my target.

“Matias, I need your help.”

He was in the weight room, laying down on a bench press, lifting a bar with several metal disks weighing down either end.

He looked at me, pushed up one more time, his face reddening as he groaned, and then slowly brought it back down with a huff, before resting it on racks poised on both sides of him.

Panting, he slowly sat up. “Sure. What about?” I looked around, noticing all the listening ears, before I turned back to face him and arched my brows.

He got the hint. “Let’s go for a walk.” He grabbed a towel to wipe the sweat off his face, got up, and ticked his head for me to follow him out of the weight room.

We found a secluded part of the base. And after confirming no one was around, I began. “I need your help.”

He faced me. “All right. What’s going on? What do you need?”

I swallowed hard, knowing that what I was about to say next was going to lead to a lot of confusion and a hell of a lot of questions. “I need to ask you a favor, but I can’t tell you why, and you can’t tell anyone.”

Matias crossed his arms then, brows knitting together in concern.

“Well, this doesn’t sound good.” If only he knew.

If only he knew just how not good the situation really was.

And my expression must have given him a clue, because he dipped his face closer to mine and placed a gentle hand on my arm. “Mara? What’s wrong? What happened?”

“I-I can’t marry Wes.” My chest tightened, my stomach dropping into an endless pit.

“What? But I thought…” His voice trailed off. “What happened?” he asked again.

“I can’t tell you. But I can’t go through with it, and I need your help to tell him.”

“Hold on a second.” He shifted his weight. “I don’t understand.”

“Listen, just…hear me out.” I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, and then it all came tumbling out.

“I can’t marry him. It’s a long story, but I just can’t do it.

But he’s never going to just accept me telling him it’s over.

He’s going to need an explanation that I just can’t give him.

” It was a rush of words, one running into the other.

“I need to lie to him, and I need him to believe that lie, and the only thing I can think of telling him is that I’m in love with you. ”

“Whoa! Hold up a minute,” Matias said, waving his hands, telling me to slow down. “You want to tell him what ?” His cute, boyish face grew serious as he drew closer to me, searching the depths of my eyes. “What’s going on, Mara? Something happened, so what is it?”

“I…” If I told Matias the truth, I risked Charles finding out. And that would place Wes in danger, and I just couldn’t risk that. But how would I convince Matias to do this for me without letting him know at least a little of what was happening?

“Mara?” Matias cupped my face in his hands, gently coaxing me to look at him. “What are you running from? What happened?”

“Nothing. I-I just can’t,” I started muttering, but Matias wasn’t having it.

He brought his face so close to mine, our noses almost touching as his soulful eyes dug into the depths of me. “I know you. I know when you’re running—when you’re hiding from something. Let me help you. Tell me what’s going on?”

I felt it then…the tears building in my eyes.

I wanted to tell him. I needed to tell someone.

I couldn’t contain this on my own. I knew what I was going to do was going to tear me apart.

I needed someone who could help put me back together.

Closing my eyes, I fought back the tears while Matias waited patiently. My breathing slowed.

Then, I told him everything.

I told him how Charles threatened my brother, how he threatened Wes.

How he was using me to control him, to keep Wes under his thumb.

I explained how I couldn’t do that, that I refused to be used as a weapon against Wes.

And I refused to bring my brother back to the North, only to end up executed anyway—or worse, held captive for the rest of his life to keep me in check.

I couldn’t do that to Jacob. I couldn’t free him from the chains of one dictator and place him in the clutches of another.

Because that’s what Charles was. He was just another dictator, another ruthless man driven mad by power. Another leader who would destroy his own family just to gain more control. It left me with only one option.

Run.

I had to run, to escape into the night, never looking back.

If I was gone…

If Wes thought I didn’t love him…

He wouldn’t come after me. He would let me go and find happiness again.

Charles couldn’t use me against him then, and he couldn’t use my brother against me either. We could all be free.

Matias ran his fingers through his hair. “Mara, this is insane. I can’t…I can’t help you do this.”

“Do you see another option?” I could hear the desperate plea in my voice. “Do you see another way out of this mess? Because if you do, I’d love to hear it.”

Matias chewed the inside of his cheek, his eyes drifting from one thing to another as he desperately racked his brain for alternatives. But in the end, he just shook his head.

“I didn’t think so.”

We both drew quiet, feeling the weight of the distasteful choices in front of us. He sighed heavily, the sound of a man accepting his fate.

“This is going to break him.”

My heart cracked, but it held together. “I know.”

Matias ran a hand through his hair again. “When?”

“Tomorrow.” I hated the thought of dumping this on Wes before the mission, but I was out of time, out of options.

Matias nodded. “Okay.”

“Thank you,” I whispered, and then I was in his arms, breathing the evergreen and citrus smell of him as he folded his arms around me, resting his head on my own.

“I’m going to miss you.”

A lump formed in my throat. I knew my days with my friends were numbered, but I hadn’t taken the time to really think about it.

To really consider the fact that, after tomorrow, I would never see them again.

Tears filled my eyes as I shoved down a sob.

“I’m going to miss you, too. I’m going to miss all of you. ”

Matias pulled me back and wiped my tears. “We’ll find each other again. When this is all over, okay? We’ll find each other.”

I nodded, allowing myself the hope. But I wasn’t stupid. War was coming, and there was no telling who would live and would die. All I could hope for was that we’d all live to see the end. But nothing was guaranteed.

But I didn’t tell him that.

I let Matias live in the fantasy that we would meet again. I let myself play in that future, too. That was the only way I was going to survive the next twenty-four hours. Because in twenty-four hours, I was going to destroy my own heart.