Page 17

CHAPTER 17

March 7 th

7:00 P.M.

Something inside her snapped as she heard the way Nathaniel spoke about himself, and she saw the desolation in his dark eyes.

Nobody talked about the man she was falling for like that, not even himself.

Ava didn't know what came over her, but the next thing she knew, she was throwing herself at Nathaniel.

He caught her automatically, and she wrapped her legs around his hips, her arms around his neck and leaned in to crush her mouth against his, kissing him before he could voice the confusion in his expression.

Now she knew why Nathaniel had been switching from interested to annoyed quicker than she could get her head around what was going on. He was insecure and worried about the differences in their childhoods. That had to be it because he’d made a point of telling her that his life hadn't been the same as hers.

Good thing that wasn't going to be an issue going forward.

She no longer lived the luxurious lifestyle she’d been indulged in as a child. If she didn't share the rent and utilities with her two best friends, she could never afford this beautiful apartment. Prey paid her well, but she wasn’t rich in her own right, and her parents had disinherited her when she refused to follow the plan for her life they’d mapped out for her. Art was her only indulgence but if she had other priorities, like building a life with someone, then she could easily be content with the collection she already had. She’d even be fine with selling it to get a down payment on a house.

Which meant nothing was standing in their way.

If that was Nathaniel’s only barrier, she was going to blast her way through it.

“What are you doing?” Nathaniel asked, his breathing ragged, eyes wide with tentative hope when they finally broke apart.

“Thought that was obvious,” she said, then brushed her lips against his again.

“You kissed me.” His voice said it like he thought there might be some sort of trick involved. It hurt her heart to know that he was that suspicious just of a woman expressing an interest in him.

Guess she was going to have to be a little clearer.

Holding onto his shoulders, she ground her center against the growing bulge in his pants. Already she could feel a steady throb pulsing between her legs, and her skin suddenly felt alive, tingling in an almost feverish manner as it craved Nathaniel’s touch in a way she never had before.

How amazing was it going to feel when he finally slid inside her if it felt this good just grinding against him with way too many layers of clothes between them.

“Ava.” His voice was tight, and his hands gripped her hips, stilling her and making a whimper tumble from her lips.

“Yeah?”

“We can't do this.”

She stilled. Can't do this because he didn't want her the same way she wanted him, or because he was still hung up on this idea he had that they were incompatible because they’d had different childhoods?

The reason mattered a lot. One meant there was no problem at all, the other meant she had to respect his boundaries and give up on the idea of there ever being something between the two of them.

“Why?”

“Because we’re too different.” There was infinite sadness in those few words, a weariness that told her he’d been carrying the burden of his childhood on his shoulders for far too long.

“But you want me?” she asked, a hint of her own vulnerabilities showing. Just because she’d chosen to find her own way in life and forge her own path didn't exclude her from sometimes doubting herself and her worth. Didn't everybody feel insecure at times? It was part of being human, but she wasn't going to allow those vulnerabilities to stop her from reaching out and taking hold of what could be the best thing to ever happen to her.

“Of course I do, who wouldn't want a woman like you? Beautiful, intelligent, adorable, sweet, strong, brave. Aves, you're perfect.”

What he didn't say she heard anyway.

Too perfect.

In his mind anyway, certainly not in reality.

Did Nathaniel even realize that his hands were no longer gripping her hips? They were now kneading her backside, making it harder and harder to concentrate.

“I think you don’t quite realize this, but you're beautiful, well handsome, intelligent, so adorable, sweet, strong, and brave. Nathaniel, you're pretty perfect too.”

Huffing a small chuckle, he leaned his forehead against hers. “You know, no SEAL wants to be called adorable.”

“Too bad. I get to call my SEAL whatever I want.”

Ava might have said the words as almost a taunt, wanting to snap Nathaniel’s control so he’d take her the way she wanted to be claimed, but she wasn't prepared for the almost possessive growl that rumbled through his chest.

She also wasn't quite prepared for the way he strode through the apartment to her bedroom with such purposeful steps as his hungry lips found hers, kissing her like he could never get enough.

Join the club.

That’s exactly how she felt about Nathaniel Trevino. Like she could never ever, not even if someone gave her a billion years, get enough of him.

In her bedroom, he set her almost reverently on her feet. As he stripped her out of her leggings, sweater, bra, and panties he kissed and licked at her skin. Paying extra attention to the wound on the inside of her elbow, and the one on her neck.

Each touch of his mouth made it feel like he was setting little fires, and by the time he had her naked, she felt like she was burning up from the inside out.

“Nathaniel,” she whimpered as she reached for him. Why did he still have so many clothes on? “Want you naked.”

He chuckled then captured her lips in a searing kiss. “You look beautiful unwrapped, Aves.”

Her cheeks heated in a blush as she remembered her embarrassing ramble in Mexico. But the way Nathaniel looked at her now, like he’d just been given the best gift in the world, quickly chased any humiliation away.

“Can't wait to taste you,” he whispered against her lips, then like he was some sort of undressing ninja, he was out of his clothes and backing her up against the bed before she could form a coherent thought.

When the backs of her legs hit the bed, she fell backward, bouncing once against the soft mattress, something soft landing beside her. A condom, she realized as she tilted her head to the side, but then Nathaniel was on his knees before her and she couldn’t focus on anything else. Fitting his massive shoulders between her legs, he spread her open before him.

The appreciative look on his face had her blushing again, but there was no embarrassment this time. Just hunger. A fiery need to feel his mouth on her most private parts.

That first swipe of his tongue was heaven. And the appreciative moan that had his lips vibrating against her sensitive flesh made it even better. Somehow it seemed like his mouth was everywhere all at once. The tip of his tongue circled her entrance before nudging its way inside, and then it was swirling around her bud making her cry out as sensations built.

Like she was sure he approached everything else in his life, Nathaniel worked with purpose and dedication. Quickly learning what she liked, what made her moan, what made her hips rock, seeking more, and he doubled down on those things until those sensations had built so high she wasn't sure how they remained contained inside her.

And then they didn't.

With a cry she was sure her neighbors could hear through the walls, Ava came hard as Nathaniel sucked on her bundle of nerves.

Not that her orgasm had him letting up.

Nope.

He continued to lick and suck, dragging on her orgasm until her legs were trying to close to shut off the stimulation, only to find they couldn’t because his shoulders were still wedged between them, his face still buried in her heat.

Only when her orgasm began to fade, leaving nothing but small aftershocks in its wake did he finally lift his dark head. His lips were wet and there was pure male satisfaction in his eyes.

“Perfect,” he whispered.

Then he was moving again. Hooking an arm around her waist, he took her with him as he shifted them both onto the mattress, her spread out beneath him. Crushing his lips to hers, after another searing kiss that had her toes curling, he flipped her onto her stomach. His hands gripped her hips, lifting them off the bed, and she felt his tip nudging her entrance.

“You ready for me, Aves?”

“Always,” she answered, and then he was burying himself inside her in one smooth thrust.

For a second there was a sharp sting as he stretched her, and her body accommodated to his impressive size. Nathaniel stilled, giving her the time she needed to adjust, and then when she sighed in contentment and arched her back, taking him a little deeper, he began to move.

One of his large hands claimed her breast, and he guided her up so her back was to his chest as he fondled her. His other hand splayed low on her stomach, playing with her bud as he set a steady pace, thrusting into her a little harder each time. His lips touched soft kisses to the side of her neck, worshipping the healing gunshot wound.

It didn't take long for pleasure to begin to build all over again.

Each thrust hit that spot inside her that had her seeing stars and she wasn't even coming yet. Like the master he was, he learned everything her body liked at warp speed, and his touches on her bundle of nerves became more focused, rubbing in small circles, with just the right amount of pressure to have her moaning, her hips rocking as she sought more.

Sought everything Nathaniel had to give her.

He didn't hold back, offering her everything she needed, and soon the pressure was mounting inside her again. A powerful orgasm ready to burst free and simultaneously quench the fire burning inside her while also setting her alight.

When it hit it almost stole her breath.

Pleasure ripped along every one of her nerves until it consumed her, and she didn't bother to hold in her cries as she screamed Nathaniel’s name over and over again.

She felt his orgasm hit, his lips pressing a hard kiss to the pulse point in her neck as he held her tight against him.

Like all good things, it finally came to an end. The pleasure ebbed away, and Nathaniel guided them both down to lie on their sides, still buried inside her. As he nuzzled her neck, his fingers tracing lazy circles on her breasts, Ava realized that this good thing didn't have to come to an end.

There was no reason they couldn’t have moments like this one for the rest of their lives. All Nathaniel had to do was let go of his fears that they were too different and let her in.

If only there was a way to convince him that he wouldn't regret it, but unfortunately, he had to come to that conclusion on his own.

She prayed that he would.

That he wouldn't deny them both making this their reality.

* * *

March 8 th

7:49 A.M.

“Ah huh, so the bodyguard really does exist.”

The amused words made him jump and he turned to find Teresa Dash standing in the open kitchen door. From what Nathaniel had learned about Ava’s two best friends and roommates, Chelsea was the romantic who always seemed to be in a good mood, and Teresa was the more practical one with intelligent, assessing dark brown eyes. He still wasn't sure if Teresa approved of him or not, although it was clear that Chelsea thought the whole thing was the plot of a romance movie.

“He exists. But he’s not doing a great job because he didn't hear you until you spoke,” Nathaniel admitted as he started unloading the pancakes from the frying pan and piling them on the two plates on the counter. One thing he was sure of when it came to Teresa was that being open and honest was the best policy with her.

“That’s okay, I won't tell anyone and get you fired.” Teresa strolled into the kitchen, dressed in what he had come to associate as her typical work outfit—a simple white blouse and loose-fitting black pants. Her hair was twisted up into a ponytail, and she wore minimal makeup. Teresa Dash was a beautiful woman, but she did absolutely nothing for him.

Unlike the woman he’d left naked in her bed when he slipped out to make her breakfast.

Ava could become his everything if he was brave enough to let go of the past and stop allowing it to hold him back.

“She’s safe here. Right?” Teresa’s clear gaze grew uncertain, and the tone of her voice sounded very much like she was begging him for reassurance even though she wouldn't come right out and ask for it.

“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. As much as he wanted to tell the woman what she wanted to hear, he was pretty sure Teresa wouldn't appreciate that in the long run. She seemed like the kind of woman who was perpetually prepared for the worst, but not in a negative way, more like in a practical way. “I want to believe she is. That the trafficking ring realizes getting to her won't be easy and that it’s safer to cut their losses.”

“But they already had to cut so many losses because of her, so it’s both a personal and professional decision to want her back.”

Couldn’t argue with that.

Not only was it extremely likely that Ava’s organs had already been matched and sold to prospective buyers, so getting her back meant getting the money they had already counted on, but it was because of her escape they’d had to kill everyone on the boat. She’d done the impossible and whoever was in charge of the ring would want to save face and make sure she was suitably punished.

Turning off the burner, Nathaniel moved so he was looking Teresa directly in the eye. “I won't let them get their hands on her again,” he vowed. Meaning that more than anything else he’d ever said. While he couldn’t know what the future held and if he and Ava would work out, he did know that he would die before he let her fall back into the hands of the people who had abducted her and taken so much from her.

After studying him for a long moment, Teresa nodded, and the uncertainly faded from her gaze. “Thank you. She’s something special, and I don’t want to lose her.”

“So this is where you are,” Ava said as she stumbled somewhat sleepily into the kitchen. He’d left her naked in the bed, but she was wrapped in a soft blue robe, her blonde locks in a tangled mess as they hung down her back.

For some reason seeing her like this, first thing in the morning, all sleep rumpled and sweet, made her that much more beautiful. He prayed with everything he had that Ava didn't wake up and realize that she was too good for him because he didn't know how he was going to give her up after he’d had a taste of her.

“Making you breakfast,” he said, indicating the two plates of pancakes.

“Aww. That’s the sweetest thing ever,” Ava gushed as her bare feet padded across the floorboards as she crossed the kitchen to his side. “You're not going to give me a good morning kiss?”

“Uh, course I am.” Somewhat self-consciously, he captured Ava’s chin between his thumb and forefinger and tilted her face up so he could brush his lips across hers.

It was a chaste kiss in deference to the fact that they had an audience, but Ava gave a content sigh when he broke away and snuggled against his side.

“You staying for breakfast?” Ava asked Teresa.

“Nope. Already ate while you two sleepyheads were still in bed. I’m going to go drag Chelsea out of the bathroom and we’re heading into work. Enjoy pancakes with your man, and we’ll see you tonight.”

While he squirmed somewhat uncomfortably at Teresa’s blatant label, Ava didn't seem to mind in the least the implication that they were together.

Were they?

They hadn't talked about it.

There was a chance that Ava had only had sex with him last night because she felt sorry for him. His childhood had been a mess, and hers had been fairly close to perfect, well minus her two rude and insensitive parents, so maybe she just wanted to try to make him feel better, and that’s why she’d quite literally thrown herself at him.

Even as he thought it, Nathaniel knew it wasn't true.

That wasn't the kind of woman Ava was, and the way she’d looked at him, touched him, screamed his name when she came, was not something she’d done out of some misguided sense of pity.

“You think so hard.” Ava’s fingertips smoothed across his forehead where his brow had obviously furrowed as he’d conjured up reasons to derail this thing between them before it even got going.

“Occupational hazard,” he murmured, the feel of her smooth fingers brushing over his skin soothing him more than he was willing to admit.

“Hazard of your job or your childhood?” she asked softly, continuing her gentle ministrations.

There was no judgment in her tone, and thankfully, no pity either. Just empathy, and a desire to understand him better.

Would that really be so bad?

To let someone in just a little bit?

Not someone. To let Ava in a little bit.

“Childhood,” he acknowledged as he grasped her hand and guided her to the table. As much as he loved the feel of her touching him, he needed some space if he was going to do this.

“Bye, lovebirds,” Chelsea’s voice called out, and Ava chuckled and rolled her eyes.

“See you tonight,” Teresa added.

“Bye,” Ava called back to both her friends, and then a moment later they heard the front door close, leaving them alone in the apartment.

Nervous, although there was no reason he should be, Nathaniel bustled about, putting a plate of pancakes in front of Ava and then getting out a range of toppings since he didn't know what she liked on her pancakes. He got them both glasses of apple juice, and cups of coffee, and by the time he finally took his seat beside her, he found Ava watching him with amusement dancing in her blue eyes.

“Finished procrastinating?” she asked as she poured a generous amount of maple syrup on her pancakes.

“Uh, yeah, I guess so.” He gave her a sheepish smile but loved it when her bright laugh tinkled through the room.

“You know you can talk to me, Nathaniel,” Ava said, her voice growing serious and earnest. “I can't pretend I know what it’s like to grow up with an abusive drunk as a father, or a mother who was relieved someone else was taking her husband’s beatings. I don’t know what it’s like to struggle financially and go hungry, or to not have a warm house to sleep in and clean clothes to wear. But I can listen, and I can offer support to who you are now. You’re not your past, Nathaniel. That’s one thing I had to learn when I broke away from my parents’ crushing rules and forced obligations. I'm not them, I'm not who they want me to be, I'm not who anyone thinks I should be. I'm just me. And you're just you. Shaped by your past but not defined by it.”

No one had ever phrased it like that before.

Not even himself.

Always Nathaniel had allowed his past to define everything about him. Who he was, who he let into his life, who he kept out of it, what he allowed himself to do, even what he allowed himself to hope for.

Ava made him want that to be different.

Before he could speak, they both heard her front door open.

“Typical, Chelsea,” Ava said with an eye roll. “Would forget her head if it wasn't attached to her body. I swear, more days than not, we wind up having to wait for her while she dashes back up here to grab whatever she forgot. I wonder what she …” her words trailed off as the kitchen door swung open, only it wasn't Chelsea who stood there.

It was Ava’s parents, and they weren't alone.

With them was a middle-aged man who had to be pushing fifty, dressed in a crisp black suit, staring at Ava with a sense of ownership that had Nathaniel’s gut churning with a sense of unease.