Page 38 of Rescuing Micah (Prey Security: Cyber Team #3)

You were supposed to be my forever, now I just have to hope you won't be my destruction.

Love , Teresa

PS – I wrote love accidentally because it’s how I always sign messages to you, but I don’t think I can love you anymore, not after this. You made a choice for both of us, and now I have to live with the consequences too.

Teresa had written the letter in her favorite purple pen, her handwriting so familiar because she used to love to write him little handwritten notes and hide them in his pockets for him to find later.

There were a few spots where the ink had smudged, presumably because she’d been crying when she wrote it.

Now he was the one crying.

Asking one of his friends to go into his house, find the letter, and stick it in the post to get to him had probably been a bad idea.

Especially now when he was sitting in a helo flying out to where Teresa’s tracker had been activated.

But he had to know.

Had to understand her pain on a level that was unsensitized by time, maturity, and a desire, despite everything he’d done to her to spare his feelings.

Reading the letter was the only way, and as much as it gutted him to read Teresa’s words, he was glad he’d done it.

He deserved to suffer for what he’d put her through, and there was no better way to do that than to read her heartbreaking questions.

Feel her pain as she tried to figure out what her life was going to look like following her ordeal.

The only comfort he could take from it was knowing that his abandonment hadn't destroyed her. It had made her stronger, more determined, braver, and fiercer. But that in and of itself hurt, too, because in the process she’d had to harden her heart a little, learn to be a little tougher, and not love with abandon.

“We’re going to find her,” a voice spoke as a hand landed on his shoulder.

Micah looked over to see that Cole “Rex” Kingston was watching him closely.

The man was part of Blake “Rocco” Wise’s SEAL team, and this team had already gone in to rescue Nathaniel and Ava after the two were stuck in Mexico following Ava’s escape from the traffickers.

The team had then participated in both rescues of Isabella, although in the first one, they hadn't known she was a victim of the ring and had thought she was there willingly.

Now they were there again, ready to go in and help rescue the woman he loved.

As much as he appreciated the man’s optimism, he couldn’t seem to muster any of his own.

The opposite in fact.

It felt like even if they got to Teresa in time, he still wouldn’t get to keep her in his life. Knowing how badly he’d hurt her was one thing, but traveling back in time and seeing how much she was hurting in the aftermath of her assault was another.

Pain crushed him. Not physical pain, that could be much more easily handled. Emotional pain was a whole other story. His, hers, it all melded together into one white hot ball of agony wrapped tightly around his heart.

“Don’t give up on her yet,” Rex urged.

“I changed something fundamental in her because I was too much of a coward to talk to the girl I loved,” he said softly, knowing the words were heard not just by Rex but by the whole team and the pilot because they were all mic’d up.

Micah knew that even if he’d confronted her with his accusation, he would have hurt her, but he would have been able to apologize immediately and stick by her side through everything.

“You messed up, no one is saying otherwise,” Beckett “Ace” Morgan agreed. “We all heard what happened between you two when you were teenagers, but you’re also fighting to show her how sorry you are and make things right.”

“Yeah, I'm doing a great job of that. She got abducted twice while I was right by her side.” The one person he’d wanted to save the most in his entire career, and she was the one he had failed the most.

“These people are determined, you know that. And Isabella was snatched while she was with Tobias,” Decker “Gumby” Kincade reminded him.

It didn't help.

Tobias had a serious back injury that had ended his Delta Force career, Micah had no such excuses to fall back on.

He was just a failure.

“Way I see it,” Mark “Bubba” Wright spoke up, “you have two options. You can allow your guilt and regret to swallow you up and eat you alive, or you can be the man you wished you were for your girl back then. Give in or fight for her? What are you going to do?”

“Fight,” the word came out automatically, but it was true. He’d already let Teresa down in the past, failed to give her what she needed, and been selfish and prioritized his own feelings and needs over hers.

Not a mistake he would make again.

“Exactly what we wanted to hear,” Rocco told him, tossing him a grin.

“Teresa seems like the kind of woman who faces her fear head-on, who pushes through and does what she has to do despite it,” Forest “Phantom” Dalton said.

“Do the same for her. Push through that fear, don’t give in to it.

Fight for her every day for as long as it takes.

She’s already fighting for her future, fight alongside her, not against her. ”

Micah took those wise words to heart.

Fighting alongside his girl and not against her was exactly what he needed to do. Teresa had been willing to put her very life on the line to try to bring the trafficking ring down so she could have the future she wanted. He had to fight with that same determination.

When the pilot announced that they were approaching the place where Teresa’s tracker indicated she was being held, they all prepared themselves.

Teresa was being held in international water not too far off the US coast, there was no way they could approach undetected in the middle of the day, so they were going to jump from the helo as close to the boat as they could get and hope they could get on board before the guards had a chance to slaughter everyone.

A risk, but their best way to get to Teresa and the other victims who were no doubt there as well as quickly as possible.

“If nobody minds, I'm going to pass on being in the room when Teresa is rescued,” Rex said, amusement dancing in his tone, and they all laughed.

So far, Rex had managed to get a black eye from Ava and a hit to the groin from Isabella when he participated in their rescues.

Micah knew the guys were never going to let him live it down, but the man seemed to take it all in stride and see the humor in it, as well as pride for the two women who had fought for their lives with everything they had to give.

As he prepared for the jump, Micah looked at the letter in his hands. Teresa hadn't wanted him to read it, but he was glad he had. Now he had to decide what to do with it. Holding onto it would be like clinging to a stumbling block that would get in the way of the future he wanted.

Ripping the paper into pieces, when Rocco opened the helo door, Micah leaned over and let them fall. It was time to let go of the past and be the man he should have been back then, the man Teresa needed him to be now.