Page 17 of Rescuing Micah (Prey Security: Cyber Team #3)

As badly as she wanted to believe this wasn’t happening, she couldn’t.

Because it was.

Everything was horrifyingly real.

Teresa felt like she was trapped in some sort of dream state. Around her, everything was kind of hazy. Her emotions were there, bubbling beneath the surface, but they’d also been dulled. She recognized them, she felt them, but they were distant, and she was glad for that.

With the bustle going on about her there was no emotional space inside her to feel the full assault of emotions brought on by her talk with Micah.

He hadn't known.

But he’d been there.

The dichotomy of that was enough in and of itself to send her into a tailspin. Then add in all her fears about being kidnapped and her impending surgery, and it was all just too much.

Never before in her life had she checked out just because things were hard.

She’d always been the kind of person to embrace the hard and make the best of it.

When her dad died and her mom had needed her to step up, she’d done it, she hadn't complained about wanting to continue her previously carefree childhood. She’d done what needed to be done.

Same thing after her assault. She’d managed to salvage as many of her pieces as she could and put them back together. They hadn't fit the way they had before, but she was still her, just a slightly harder version of her old self.

But this changed everything she thought she knew and tipped her world upside down.

Until Micah had told her, she had never known he’d actually been there in person that night. She’d assumed he’d heard what happened to her, possibly from his dad since his father was a cop, and decided she was damaged goods and dumped her.

Knowing he’d seen her like that, that he’d had the power to do something to help her but hadn't, hurt more than she would have guessed if the idea had ever occurred to her.

It would have been too late to prevent her from being hurt, but it would have ended it sooner.

Knowing that the first thought in his mind when he saw her being raped was that she was cheating made their entire relationship feel like a lie.

Had he ever loved her?

If he didn't know she loved him, respected him, and would have spent the rest of her life with him, then she didn't think he could have.

Not really loved her.

Not the way she had loved him.

They hadn't spoken after his apology. If she didn't know better, she would have believed the apology was sincere. There was devastation in his eyes, and he’d actually cried as he told her how sorry he was for abandoning her, for not finding out the truth before ruthlessly cutting her out of his life.

What else was there to say?

Was he sorry?

Maybe.

Did it change anything?

No.

Not at all.

Well …

Maybe a little bit?

Honestly, right now, Teresa felt too raw to figure out if she cared that he felt bad now that he knew the truth. From the looks of things, he felt more than bad, he felt gutted, and it probably made her a terrible person to feel an ounce of satisfaction at that.

Gutted was exactly how she felt when Micah didn't answer her calls or texts, and she then realized he’d blocked her.

When the door to their shared room opened once again, she glanced in that direction, tensing when she realized it was the doctor from earlier, the one she’d bitten.

They hadn't seen him since he’d stormed out, but the nurse had been in a few times.

Micah had tried talking to her, but she refused to respond.

She was scared, Teresa got that, but she hadn't had the energy to try to calm the woman or convince her to help them.

“Good news, Ms. Dash, we do indeed have a match, so you’re heading off to surgery,” the doctor told her, a wicked gleam in his eyes. No doubt he had something planned to punish her for hurting him.

Still, Teresa couldn’t find it in her to care when she saw the bandage covering his finger and most of his hand. She’d done that. She might be their prisoner, but she’d fought back and that brought her immense satisfaction.

“Don’t take her,” Micah said. His voice didn't come out strong and confident, it wasn't an order, and if you weren't aware of his training and experience, you wouldn't guess he was a special forces operator.

He sounded terrified.

He was begging.

Like if he pleaded hard enough, he could change what was going to happen.

One thing Teresa had learned early on in life was that you couldn’t change the hand you were dealt. It was what it was. You had to make the best of it, work with what you had, and find a way to accept it.

It seemed like it was time for Micah to learn that same lesson.

There was no changing this. No going back in time to the night of her assault and erasing it.

No way for him to change how he’d blocked her from his life.

No changing the fact that they were both going to be cut open and taken apart.

No changing that her fate was now going to become his as well.

Just because they were there for her didn't mean that they wouldn't soon be coming for him, too.

“Please,” Micah continued even as the doctor ignored him. “Take me instead.”

The doctor snorted. “Doesn’t work that way, Mr. Hart. Certain people match other people, there are no substitutes.”

Hands clamped around the metal rails of her bed, and she began to move, rolling toward the door. For a moment, she thought she should say something to Micah, ease his guilt and regret, but there wasn't really anything to say. He’d made his choices, and they’d both had to live with the consequences.

“Teresa, I'm sorry. So damn sorry, if I could go back, I'd do it all differently. All of it. I never stopped loving you. Never. Not for a single second. I spent the last decade wishing I had you by my side, that we’d made all our plans a reality.

I'm sorry I ruined them. It’s all on me, all of it.

I promised to always be there for you. I promised to always take care of you.

I failed. I let you down in the most horrific way. I'm sorry, pretty girl.”

His words were the last thing she heard as she was wheeled out of the room, and the door swung closed behind them. As she was taken down the hall, away from the man she’d once loved, she knew she should have said something.

Anything.

Now it might be too late.

Her opportunity could be gone.

Forever.

While she was assuming the trafficking ring would keep her alive until they’d sold everything they possibly could, it was just that. An assumption.

She was taken into a small room, an operating theatre, and the reality of her situation struck hard and fast. This was happening. Really happening. She hadn't just been kidnapped, she was tied to a bed, and she was about to be put under and have one of her organs removed.

There was no stopping it.

Help wasn't coming.

Micah was as helpless as she was at that moment.

Whatever they took from her wouldn't kill her immediately, but if a miracle happened and she made it through this alive, it could drastically impact her for the rest of her life.

Doctors and nurses bustled about her, wires were hooked up, and the nurse from earlier shot her an apologetic look before setting up an IV.

With a smile that could only be described as malicious, the doctor she’d bitten stood beside her bed, with a syringe in his hand. “You know, there are certain body parts that aren't really necessary to what we do here.”

Reaching out, he picked up one of her hands, lifting it off the mattress as far as he could with the leather cuff around her wrist. Her fingers had been curled into a fist, but he forcefully grabbed hold of her pinkie and straightened it.

“These fingers, for example. Wouldn't it be fun if you woke up to find one of them missing?”

A shudder of fear had her feeling like she’d been doused with a bucket of ice water, but she didn't look away.

Didn't flinch or cower. He could cut off her finger if he wanted.

He could cut off all her fingers, her hand, her entire arm, but it wouldn't change the fact that she’d hurt him, and he was never going to forget that.

“Something fun to think about as you go off to sleep,” the doctor said as he released her hand and injected the syringe into her IV.

Teresa’s last thought before the drugs took effect and washed her away into unconsciousness was that she really should have said something to Micah while she still had the chance.

Because despite everything, she still loved him, too, as much as she hated him.

May 1 st

5:21 P.M.

Had seconds always felt this long?

Micah would have sworn that they hadn't.

Then again, he’d never been forced to lie on a bed while the girl he loved, the girl he had horribly betrayed, was operated on against her will.

He would give anything in the world to swap places with her.

Trade his life in a heartbeat.

Anything to save Teresa. Anything to try to make up for what he’d done to her.

What he’d done … it made him sick to think about.

Never before had he hated himself, not like this, this soul-deep loathing that made him want to crawl out of his own skin.

Growing up with a great family, he’d never known what it was like not to be loved, and while his parents had expectations that he helped out around the house, he’d never experienced the crushing sense of responsibility that he knew Teresa had.

It was why he had appointed himself in charge of taking care of her.

Yet he had failed so thoroughly.

Something which he vowed never to do again.

There was no way Teresa would ever forgive him for what he’d done.

Nor should she. What he had put her through was the ultimate betrayal, something completely unforgivable, and regardless of whether Teresa could ever accept his apology, Micah knew he would never, for as long as he lived, forgive himself.

But he also knew he was going to live, hopefully for a long time, long enough to dedicate the rest of his life to making up for his mistakes.