Page 31 of Rescuing Micah (Prey Security: Cyber Team #3)

“You look different today.”

Teresa startled at Chelsea’s words, wondering if the thoughts running through her mind had also been running across her face.

She’d tried to be careful, keep her expressions neutral, it was nobody else’s business what she and Micah had done yesterday afternoon, but there was every chance she could not think of sex without her face blushing, or her eyes darkening, or something else equally as obvious that would give her away.

“Uh, is that a good thing or a bad thing?” she asked, hoping that if she played it off right, then her friends would just think that it was everything going on with the trafficking ring that was weighing on her mind this morning.

And it was weighing on her mind.

There was no feasible way to forget about the ring and what they’d done to her when most movements still caused a tug of pain across the wound on her stomach.

It was getting better, the antibiotics were clearing away the infection, and in another few weeks, all that would be left was a scar that would forever remind her of her ordeal.

It would forever remind her of something else as well.

Micah.

Not just because he’d been kidnapped alongside her, but because that was where she’d learned the truth about the past.

Despite her offered forgiveness and what she’d asked him to help her with, lingering pain remained that he could think she would cheat on him and walk away with such apparent ease. Only the more time she spent with him, the more she realized it hadn't in fact been easy for him to walk away.

When he thought she wasn't paying attention, he cast her glances that were so full of pain and remorse that it made her eyes sting with tears of her own.

Knowing he was truly sorry about his past choices helped a lot.

As did trying to think about what she would have done if their positions had been reversed.

If she’d walked in on him having sex with four other women, would she have thought rape or cheating? Would she have stayed and confronted him? Would she have tucked tail and run?

It was easy to say she would have confronted him, but the truth was, they’d both been so young that maybe she wouldn't have made the wisest of choices.

Whatever the answer to that question, one thing she knew for certain.

Clinging to the pain wasn't worth it. It wasn't helpful. It was holding her back and keeping her present tied to her past. Her past would always be there, but it didn't have to be the central focus of her entire life.

Her future could be.

“Oh, it’s definitely a good thing,” Chelsea answered.

“A very good thing,” Ava added with an amused smile, like she knew exactly what game Teresa was trying to play and had no intention of letting her get away with it.

“I think what your friends are trying to not so subtly hint at is that they want the most current gossip,” Isabella explained.

“And what gossip is it exactly that you think I have? I'm not the one who’s been at work every day,” she said, still feigning innocence.

It wasn't that she didn't want to share what had happened between her and Micah with her friends because she didn't trust them, she did, even Isabella, who she hadn't known for very long, it was just that she still wasn't sure what she wanted, or what she could handle.

Bringing others into it increased the pressure to make some sort of decision.

It wasn't like she was trying to drag things out for punishment to Micah or anything.

She didn't want to hurt him, or leave him living in limbo, she just honestly had so many thoughts and emotions swirling inside her that it was too hard to still them all, put them into some sort of logical order, and make sense of them.

“There was zero gossip from here,” Ava said. “All we did was work and worry about you.”

“We want the real gossip,” Chelsea told her.

“And I have that real gossip?”

“From the pink on your cheeks and the way you keep darting little glances over at Micah, I'm going to say yes,” Isabella informed her.

“Little glances at Micah?” Had she really been doing that? She hadn't even realized. Although now that she thought about it, it did seem like she was constantly reassuring herself of his presence by seeking him out.

“Something happened between you two, right?” Chelsea, the romantic, asked.

Lying felt wrong, especially with her best friends.

Maybe they could offer her a little perspective since she was having so much trouble figuring it all out on her own.

Isabella didn't know about Teresa’s past, but her newest friend had suffered a similar fate when she was abducted last year in Cambodia and trafficked, so even though they’d known each other for the shortest amount of time, Isabella might actually understand the best.

“Yeah, something happened,” she acknowledged. “We talked some more yesterday, and I told him that I forgive him.”

“For leaving you?” Ava asked.

“Turns out Micah thought I cheated,” she explained.

They hadn't had a real chance to talk since she found out the truth about everything, but now that she’d started talking, she wanted to get it all out, wanted them to help her figure out where she went from there.

“He was upset, left, blocked me, and became a SEAL. While they were holding us captive, we finally talked, and I told him what really happened. He was … devastated.”

It made her sound like a bad person, but she was glad of that.

If the truth hadn't changed anything for him, or if he’d still tried to put most of the blame on her, or if he’d only been mildly apologetic but defended his actions, she wasn't sure she could have forgiven him.

“How could he have thought you would have cheated?” Chelsea gasped. “You barely had time to breathe back then.”

“He was young, and he made a terrible mistake. One that hurt me deeply. But he’s apologized a million times, he, uh, even cried.

” She didn't tell them that to embarrass Micah—not that she thought it actually would, she was pretty sure he would wear those particular tears as a badge of honor—but to emphasize to her friends how serious he was.

“He wants me back, said he still loves me, but that he also understands there might be no going back. Forgiving him was easier than I thought it would be.”

“Because he was sincere,” Ava said.

“Makes all the difference,” Isabella added.

“I was gang raped when I was seventeen,” she told Isabella.

“Kind of figured from everything I’d put together,” the other woman told her. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

“Right back at ya. It’s … indescribable, as you know.

It was a long time ago now, and in some ways, I've moved past it, but in other ways I haven’t.

I've had sex since, and I … you know … get myself there sometimes. But it’s never been fun for me.

It’s weird because trusting Micah with my heart seems so hard, but trusting him with my body was much easier. ”

“You guys had sex,” Chelsea exclaimed excitedly.

“Shh,” Teresa shushed, but as she looked over to the other side of the table, she saw the guys were deep in conversation and didn't seem to have heard. “We did, and it was amazing, but after …”

“After what?” Ava asked.

“Well, things weren't awkward even though I thought they might be.

He helped me cook dinner, and he came up with a safe way to get me here this morning, and we watched some TV, even talked a little, about our jobs, and hobbies, nothing too deep or personal.

When it was time for bed, I didn't want to leave him, wanted him to stick close, but I didn't know how to ask.”

Asking for help had always been hard for her. She’d had to be a grown-up from the age of nine, but asking Micah for anything seemed particularly hard because he hadn't been there when she needed him.

“Pretty sure he’d jump at doing anything you asked him to,” Isabella said.

“He would,” she agreed. “But is it fair of me to ask anything more of him when I don’t know what I can give him in return?” Asking for help with sex was one thing, but how did she find the strength to move beyond that?

“I don’t think he sees your relationship as transactional,” Ava said gently.

“Part of him wants to do things for you to make up for his actions in the past, I'm sure, but I don’t believe that’s all there is to it.

He wants to be there for you because he loves you.

No strings, no add-ons, no anything else. Just love.”

“If you want to figure out where you go from here, then all you need to do is find out the answer to one question. Do you still love him?” Chelsea asked.

Did she?

Part of her was terrified to think she might because it left her open to the chance of more pain. Part of her hoped she was because it would make everything going forward so much easier.

How did she figure out which side of the coin her heart lay on?

May 6 th

9:58 P.M.

“Okay, times up,” Micah announced.

Teresa turned her head to throw him a quick glance before refocusing on her laptop. “Just a little longer.”

“No. Not just a little longer. Do you know what time it is?”

She shrugged. “Maybe six or seven?”

“We stopped and had dinner at six,” he reminded her.

“Then seven, I guess.”

“Does it look like seven outside?” Reaching out, he hooked a finger under Teresa’s chin and turned her head again so she could look past him to the window where it was completely dark outside.

“Oh. It’s dark. I guess eight then.”

“And I guess time really does fly when you're having fun,” he teased. “We got home before seven. It’s ten now.”

“I can work for at least another hour then.” Teresa tried to tug her chin out of his grasp, but he tightened his hold slightly.

“You’ve already been working most of the day, and you're still recovering. You need sleep. If you keep going like this, you're going to wind up missing something important because you're too tired to catch everything.”