Page 28 of Rescuing Micah (Prey Security: Cyber Team #3)
A real request, something that had taken him months to coax out of her back when they first met. His pretty girl was so stubborn and so independent that she hated showing an ounce of weakness and asking anyone for anything.
Still on his knees before her, Micah grasped her chin between his thumb and forefinger and guided her face back so it was looking at him.
Slowly, her gaze once again shifted to meet his, and he saw the tentative hope in those warm brown depths as well as her strength as she was already steeling herself for his rejection.
“May I?” he asked as he maintained his gentle hold on her chin and used his pinkie to brush across Teresa’s bottom lip.
There was no way he had the right to kiss her anymore without her express permission.
Micah knew how lucky he was that she was even allowing him to breathe the same air as her, much less offer him the gift of her forgiveness.
“You want to kiss me?”
“I would spend the rest of my life kissing you if it were possible and at the end know it was a life well spent,” he answered honestly. He knew why she was hesitant to believe that after all these years he still loved her, and he didn't know how to convince her it was true.
One day at a time.
When she nodded, he used his grip on her chin to guide her face down a little to meet his, and leaned in so he could whisper his lips across hers. She tasted every bit as good as he remembered, and while he would love to jump all in, ravish her beautiful mouth, they weren't in that place yet.
Pulling back required all his resolve, and so he wasn't tempted again, Micah rose, lifted her legs, then sat on the couch beside her, settling her feet in his lap.
Because he knew she was a sucker for a foot massage and he was a sucker for anything that made Teresa happy, he began to rub, keeping most of his attention on what he was doing so Teresa wouldn't feel so self-conscious as they had this conversation.
“So, you don’t enjoy sex?” It was selfish of him, but a part of him was glad that even though he wouldn't be her first, he would be her first that actually brought her pleasure.
“No. Like it doesn’t hurt, but I don’t get off, and I'm too tense the whole time. Guys can tell and it kills the mood. Not that I ever really cared, I always just did it because it seemed like that’s what I was supposed to do. Adults have sex.”
“What about when you're alone? Do you ever touch yourself? Make yourself come?” These were weird questions to ask the woman he thought he hated for the last decade. He’d thought what Teresa and he could have had was gone forever, but now there was a chance to get it back, and he wanted to cling to that chance so badly it was all he could think about.
There were no guarantees, he got that. He could help Teresa with this, and she might still decide she only wanted to be friends with him, or she could decide she didn't want him in her life at all.
But it was a risk he had to take.
How could he not?
This was Teresa, his pretty girl, the woman he’d known was his soul mate since he was sixteen years old, and he first laid eyes on her.
“I do.”
The thought of Teresa once again standing in for herself, doing all the work because she didn't know how to let someone else in, broke his heart. Picturing her bringing herself pleasure was hot, sure, but not with the reasons why she did it alone.
“Just yourself, or do you use toys?”
Without even looking at her, he knew her cheeks were flaming red.
They might not have had sex when they were teens, but they’d been in love, there had been lots of kissing, a little touching, and he’d bought her a toy for her sixteenth birthday, one they agreed she would only use when he was on the phone with her, getting himself off.
“Teresa?” he prompted, looking over at her.
“Yeah, I have a few toys,” she said in a rush.
“Why don’t we start there? We can buy you some new ones, and then when they arrive, you could use them on yourself while I watch.
That way I can see what you like, anything you don’t like, and we can take it from there.
” That seemed the safest option, because Micah doubted Teresa was really ready to jump right on in to having sex with him after she’d just forgiven him.
He might be safe in her mind given their shared past, but so many years had passed, and he feared the trust between them that he’d broken could never be fully repaired.
“Umm … we don’t have to wait. I keep them … the toys … hidden in my closet in the back corner, behind a false wall. They’re still there, I checked because it would have been super embarrassing for the cops and everyone else to know about them.”
Leaning over, Micah grasped her chin again, ensuring he had her full attention. “Nothing about you bringing yourself pleasure should be embarrassing.”
“That’s easy for you to say, you're normal,” she whispered back.
“And you are perfection. Who gets to decide what's normal anyway? You went through something horrific, but you didn't let it break you, and you didn't let it steal your pleasure, you're better than normal.”
A smile curled her lips up at the corners, there was still tension radiating off her, but it was a start.
“You want to do this now?”
“Better do it now before I lose my nerve,” she agreed.
Lifting her feet once again, Micah stood, then held out his hand. Teresa took it after barely a moment’s hesitation and allowed him to tug her to her feet and guide her through to her bedroom.
As they stepped through the doorway, she straightened her spine, and he knew her well enough to know that she was steeling herself to do this. But she walked resolutely toward her closet, dropped to her knees, and then held her head high as she came back up with a somewhat large box in her hands.
She hadn't been kidding when she said she had some toys. He’d been thinking like one or two, but when she opened the box, he saw she had at least a dozen in there, maybe more.
“This is my favorite,” she said, setting the box down and holding up one that worked externally. It was no wonder she preferred that to something being inside her. Even though he didn't want to, he hadn't been able to stop imagining how terrified Teresa must have been that night.
Part of him expected her to back out, lose her nerve, but Teresa walked over to the bed he’d bought for her, set the toy down, shimmied out of her leggings and panties without even looking at him, then lay down on top of the covers.
This was his first time seeing her naked, and that alone would have been enough to have him growing hard, but add in the strength he knew it took for her to do this before him of all people, and he was aching with desire for this beautiful, brave woman.
“I’ll delete it in front of you so you know I'm not doing anything sneaky with it, but what if I record this, then when you’re ready to try sex, we can play it and you have something to focus on other than the thoughts running through your head,” he suggested.
“You want a video of me doing this?” she asked, but there wasn't judgment, reproach, or anger in her tone. The opposite, in fact. She sounded almost turned on by the idea. Maybe he wouldn't be deleting it after all.
“We’ll use your phone instead of mine.” That way she wouldn't have a single doubt about what would and wouldn't happen with that video.
“O-okay,” she agreed.
Hurrying back through to the living room, he grabbed her cell phone and returned to the bedroom where Teresa lay waiting for him.
Once again, her cheeks were flushed, although this time with arousal instead of embarrassment, and when she parted her legs, baring her most intimate parts to him, Micah knew that however things between them turned out, he was one lucky guy to have a woman like Teresa trust him with something this important.