Page 8 of Rejected Nanny Mate (Crystal Creek Wolves #3)

That first night with Gwen sleeping in my house felt like hell. I was so aware of her, right there down the hallway, that it was impossible to sleep. It was like her energy had already permeated the property, and my mind was restless, constantly thinking of her.

I spent nearly the entire next day with her, explaining the somewhat shaky routines I'd gotten Rose into while she explained how she was going to care for my daughter.

She did things differently from I did in some ways, but we were aligned in others.

All that really mattered to me was that Rose was safe and taken care of, and Gwen was more than qualified for the job.

Rose took to her like a duck to water, and the bond between them was instant. The baby had bonded with me, too, but she was a fussy little thing and sometimes refused to settle, and that made me feel guilty.

“This is just her nature,” Gwen told me, her tone matter-of-fact. “There's no shame in it. We can't all be calm, easy-going babies. Just be glad you don't have a colicky baby on your hands.”

“Yeah, I guess,” I sighed. “She seems happy enough, right?”

Gwen had her cradled in her arms, and she was smiling down at Rose, her brown eyes alight with joy. I swallowed thickly, my throat dry.

“Very happy.” She looked up and met my gaze, and her smile was so bright that it nearly blinded me.

“Right,” I murmured. “Good. Okay.”

I needed to get away. Being close to Gwen, inhaling her scent, and watching her with Rose was a bittersweet torture, and I couldn't take much more of it.

“I'm gonna hit the shower,” I said, jerking my thumb toward the hall. It was a sad excuse to escape, but Gwen had my wolf pacing beneath my skin, growly and unhappy that I was refusing the Omega that it had already decided belonged to us.

I naively thought I could just escape to shower, or work out, or go and check on the greenhouse when being around her became too much. Or that the time separating us would be enough to dampen my need. That belief was a mistake.

For the next four days, I barely slept. I was exhausted, and not just physically.

When the fifth day dawned, the air was crisp and cool.

By the time the sun was rising, I gave up and dragged myself out of bed, padding down the hallway towards the kitchen.

It was still early, so I expected Gwen would still be asleep, but as soon as I reached the kitchen, her scent washed over me.

She was there, and not only was she awake, she was making breakfast while Rose played happily in her pack in play, a spot of milk on her shirt telling me she'd already been fed.

The sight of Gwen made my heart lurch, and I had to remind myself that the feelings she brought out were old, buried, and long gone.

“Gwen?” I said, rubbing my eyes. “You're awake.”

“Oh!” She squeaked, clutching her chest. “Sorry. Yes, I woke up early and thought I'd start making breakfast. Is that okay?”

I stared at her for a minute, drinking in the sight of her. She had on a loose t-shirt and a pair of pink shorts. Her long brown hair was loose, and there were little wisps and waves in the curls, the product of tossing and turning.

“Sure,” I answered, forcing a smile.

“Are you hungry? Do you like pancakes and eggs? I don't want to just make something without asking.”

“Yeah, sure. Anything is fine. Really. Don't worry about it.”

I was too distracted by her scent, by the curve of her calves, the way her thighs brushed against each other. By the memory of how her lips felt against mine, and the softness of her skin, and the sound she'd made the first and last time I'd kissed her.

Gwendolyn Beaufort was haunting me, even though she stood there, bright and brilliantly alive, just feet away.

For the first time in a long time, regret about that day I'd rejected her crept in. I hadn't wanted to. Hell, her confession of love had lit a fire within me that was apparently still burning, no matter how I had tried to smother it.

But she just wasn't right for me. Even if, for a time, I had been sure she was.

When I first noticed the sweet, shy waitress at Scott's coffee shop, there had immediately been an allure to her. She was a low-ranking Omega in Samson's pack, and I shouldn't have even noticed her. But I did.

Every time I went in, I made a point to talk to her.

The little chats became jokes, and the waitress-customer relationship bloomed into a real friendship.

We had more in common than I would have thought.

She liked to garden, and I did, too. I liked history, and she was obsessed with it. We both loved books and the outdoors.

I'd always been attracted to her, and there were a few times I almost let my wolf get the better of me. I'd felt a connection so intense that it frightened me.

I wanted more from her. A lot more. I wanted things to be serious between us, but there was one big problem standing in the way—my father.

That problem was long dead now, buried in the ground with the rest of my ancestors, but the ripples from what he’d done were still knocking against the shore of my life.

The old bastard had gotten his way and made sure that I’d made a fool of myself so spectacularly and hurt my mate so intensely that there was no going back.

My father was gone, but he’d made sure to taint the fragile new bond with my mate beyond repair before he went. I’d had to humiliate her to save her.

So, I rejected the woman that I'd cared so much for, and laughed when she told me she loved me, even though doing so made me feel sick. I played it cool, trying to act like I’d be okay keeping things casual, but that I had no interest in being with her romantically.

It was the right thing at the moment. The only thing I could do was to preserve my legacy and leave Gwen's reputation intact. Then my father died.

By then, things had gone too far. Gwen hated me, and rightly so.

I was a coward, and even though the threat was gone, the damage was done.

She would never forgive me, and it was best that way.

I put on a facade of being strong and stoic, but in the one moment where it had mattered most, I folded. The shame was painful.

Swallowing hard, I moved past Gwen to get something to drink, my arm brushing hers in the process. My wolf rumbled in my chest, and the sudden urge to wrap her in my arms, claim her mouth with mine, and drag her upstairs to bed hit me so hard and fast that it was a wonder I didn't just do it.

I wanted her, and my wolf knew she was ours.

But Gwen wasn't. Not anymore.

“Pancakes and eggs,” I repeated. “Sounds good.”

“And bacon.” She smiled brightly. “Rose has already had breakfast, and she's got a bottle ready for later. She's been changed and everything.”

“Thank you, Gwen.” I poured a glass of orange juice and downed it. “Really. Thank you. It's so great that you're here.”

When she looked up at me, her brown eyes liquid and the freckles on her nose standing out in the morning sun, I knew I had to work on my damned self-control. Gwen had me hanging by a thread. She said she wanted to keep things casual, so that's what we would do.

Even if it killed me.

***

Thankfully, I had an appointment that afternoon that would give me some much-needed space from Gwen. She'd had some offhanded comments about doing some shopping with the baby, and I'd let her know I'd be busy for the rest of the afternoon.

Living with her was so easy. It was hard to remember that the situation wasn't supposed to be permanent.

It was time for the bi-weekly Alpha meeting, and it was being held at Scott's second cafe, Howler's Coffee.

We'd taken to meeting at my place for the past few meetings, but the last thing I wanted around Rose was a bunch of Alpha posturing and aggressiveness.

We tended to be civil enough, but things could get out of hand in an instant.

I was the last one to arrive, which was a mistake. Scott and Samson were a lot less comfortable than I was with our temporary addition, Jayce of the Blacktide pack, and the tension was already thick around the table when I sat down.

“What'd I miss?” I asked.

“Absolutely nothing,” Samson rumbled. “But can we get started so we can be done already?”

Unfortunately for Samson, I was in no hurry to rush the meeting.

I was desperate for time away from Gwen and all the crazy shit she was making me feel.

“We'll be finished when we're finished, and not a minute before.” I crossed my arms and leaned back in the chair.

“Now, what's the first order of business?”

Scott took over. “As you're well aware, we've all been discussing this over text for the past few weeks, but now it's time to lay it out and see if there's a pattern here.” He pushed a large tablet to the center of the table, and on the screen was a map of all of our pack territories, each assigned a different color.

Throughout all of the territories, pins had been dropped.

“These pins represent the places everyone has reported feeling the spikes of magic over the past few months.

I've been keeping track, and while none of these spikes have felt dangerous, there are a lot more of them than I'm comfortable with. I want you three to look this over and add any spots that I missed.”

Jayce added a few markers when the tablet was passed to him, but Samson didn't have anything new to add. I took the device and dropped two more pins before pushing it back to the center of the table, where Scott took it and examined it carefully.

“I still don't see any sort of pattern,” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “It's just random.

I had to agree with him, and it made me equally as uneasy.

We'd started noticing the spikes a week or so after Scott's mate Nayeli had performed a cleansing on her old home.

The place had been soaked with dark energy, and it had reached a dangerous point before Nayeli, a new magic user at the time, managed to dispel it.

None of us had any idea if the spikes we were all seeing were related to that cleansing or just a strange coincidence.

Even weirder, there was nothing outwardly dangerous about the magic spikes.

One of the witches in the packs would often sense them, but they'd have dissipated or weakened significantly before we arrived.

There was no damage to the earth around the spikes, and no one reported any strange happenings.

Just the random, powerful feeling of something different that disappeared just as fast as it appeared.

“I think we should bring the girls in on our next talk about this,” Scott decided. “This is beyond the scope of what we usually deal with. Kiera, Nayeli, and the other witches will probably have a better idea of what's going on.”

“Agreed,” Jayce said. “Nayeli has been working with a few of my pack witches, so they'll be happy to help, I'm sure.”

Samson didn't argue, but the look on his face told me he wasn't happy.

“You have a problem with that, Samson?” I asked.

“No,” he grumbled. “I just don't want them worrying about things unnecessarily. Nayeli's pregnant, and Kiera is still adjusting to being a Luna and the fact that Kit can shift now. This could be stressful, and it's not worth it.”

“I'll keep an eye on Nayeli,” Scott promised.

“She's a lot more experienced now, and if I have any hesitation, I'll put a stop to it immediately.

If anything is going on, they'll find out and let us know.

That's all. Now, moving on to the next thing.” He looked at me and grinned.

“This isn't news to Samson and me, but Joe is a new father. I believe congratulations are in order from all of us. How are you liking the parenthood life, man?”

“I love Rose,” I admitted. “But damn if it's not exhausting. But Gwen, my nanny,” I added for Jayce's sake, “has really been a godsend.”

“Gwen, huh?” Jayce's eyebrow quirked, and he looked thoughtful. “The Omega from Scott's other shop, right? Yeah, she's cute. Lucky you.”

I was the most controlled out of the four of us, the most experienced, the one who always had a cooler head than the rest, but damn...Even I had my limits, and Jayce had just barreled into one I didn't even know I had.