Page 24 of Rejected Nanny Mate (Crystal Creek Wolves #3)
Joe sighed, running a hand through his dark hair. “Hell if I know. This is...unexpected. But I'd been trying to find Rose's mother ever since she showed up, so I guess it's a win.”
“Are you worried about her pack retaliating?”
Joe huffed a laugh, his warm breath fogging the air. “Hell no. Even without the alliance, my pack is twice the size of her old one. With the alliance...it'd be a death wish to try and retaliate.”
That made me feel a little better about Rose's safety, at least. “That's good.” I looked down at my feet and rubbed my hand over my chest where it threatened to grow tight.
“Look, Joe...thank you for everything. Really.
But now that you have Mia, you don't need me anymore.
I'll call Samson and let him know I'm coming back to the pack, and you three can.
..I don't know. Adjust. Figure things out as mom, dad, and baby.”
“Gwen...” Joe reached out to take my hand, and I let him, even though I knew I should pull away.
His touch felt like fire, and it brought back memories of all the other times that we'd been this close.
He cleared his throat. “It doesn't have to be like that.
Mia's grateful for what you did for Rose, and so am I.
I know I've said it before, but you really helped us out of a bind.”
“I'm glad,” I said honestly. “But if she’s here, you don’t need me.”
“Yes, I do,” he said firmly. “Mia, being here doesn't change anything.
You're still the person that Rose bonded with, and she's going to need a familiar face around while her mom gets back on her feet.
I... I think I'll send her to stay with my Beta, instead.
He's just a few miles down the road, and it will give her some peace to heal up while still being close enough for her to be with Rose whenever she wants.
But that means I'm still going to need you here as Rose's nanny.”
I was a bit taken aback, but I tried not to show it. “Oh. Okay.” Then, because I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing, “Really?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I... I suppose so.” My stomach twisted as I realized that even if I stayed, the countdown to me being out of his and Rose's life was on. Every minute was another minute closer to the end, but I just cared for them both too much to tell him no. “I'll stay if you still want me to.”
“We still need you,” he said again. “I wouldn't have been able to do this without you, Gwen, and I still would love to have your help, if you're willing.”
“Okay,” I nodded. “Thank you.”
Joe's hand was still in mine, and I reluctantly pulled it away, wrapping my arms around myself. I had to stop this; I had to stop giving in to him and my own desires. It would only make things harder when I had to leave, and I was already dreading it more than I'd ever dreaded anything in my life.
“You're welcome,” he replied.
For a second, his eyes dipped down to my lips, and I felt a rush of heat go through me. My hands twitched with the desire to reach out and touch him, to bring him closer.
I stepped back instead, taking a deep breath of the cool morning air. “We should get back inside. You have a lot to deal with now that Mia's here.”
“You’re right,” Joe said, and he looked just as reluctant as I felt. He held the door open for me, and I ducked under his arm to get inside the house. Rose was already in the living room, gurgling happily in her swing. Mia was nowhere to be seen, and I looked at Joe questioningly.
He shrugged. “She's getting dressed, I think. Said she wanted to take a walk around outside. I think she's just excited to finally be somewhere safe.”
“I'm glad.” I hesitated for a moment before sitting down in the living room next to Rose. Joe joined me, and for the first time in a while, the silence between us felt awkward. Finally, he cleared his throat and stood up.
“I'm going to go check on her,” he said. “See if she needs any help. Do you need anything?”
“No,” I didn't bother looking at him, taking Rose's little hand instead, and looking adoringly at her while she smiled back, mouth full of gums. “I'm fine. Go to Mia.”
And he did. I waited until the door shut behind him to let the tears fall, but at least Rose didn't comment when I wiped them away with the sleeve of my shirt.
It was going to be a long, miserable few weeks.
***
At first, not much changed. Mia seemed reluctant to move in with Joe's Beta, wanting to be near her daughter—and maybe Joe, too—but Joe was surprisingly insistent. It made me feel a little better, but after the first day, Mia made it a point to come over and spend most of the day at Joe's anyway.
We were polite to one another, but there was an underlying animosity that I refused to acknowledge. I didn't even know if Mia felt the same way towards me, but I really got the feeling that she wasn't fond of me.
She seemed like a sweet woman, but there were times when I caught her looking at me with narrowed eyes, and the few conversations we had were a little stilted.
At first, I thought it was just because she was dealing with her injuries and recovering from her ordeal, but after a week, it still hadn't gotten any better.
Joe seemed oblivious to the tension, which surprised me.
He always seemed to pick up on things so quickly, but it was like he had blinders on when it came to Mia and me.
Maybe it was easier for him not to see what was going on between us, or perhaps he just didn't want to deal with it.
Either way, he left most of the interactions to the two of us and never got in the middle of anything.
At one point, Joe suggested that Mia help me with my magic, and I'd been so uncomfortable with the idea that I'd called Kiera and had her start my lessons sooner rather than later.
Having Kiera and sometimes Kit at the house made me feel a lot better, and like I had the upper hand over Mia in a way, but the she-wolf would casually prove over and over again that she was a strong, competent witch.
Kiera and Nayeli were polite to her, too, but in private, they admitted that something felt off about her.
None of the Alphas picked up on it, though, so we just let it rest. For the moment, at least.
Mia was also good with Rose. The baby had seemed content enough to have her mother back, but her affection towards me didn't wane any, either. It was a small victory, but one I held on to pretty tightly when I was feeling at my worst.
I kept my distance from Joe, but it was hard to resist him. I wanted him, and I knew he wanted me, but I couldn't give in to him. Not now. Not ever again.
I kept myself busy by continuing to take care of Rose and by having Kiera and Nayeli help me work on my magic. Both women were excellent teachers, and I was slowly learning basic spells, besides the healing spell I'd instinctively used on Joe.
Slowly, Mia began attending more pack events, often bringing Rose and making an effort to get to know Joe's wolves.
I usually went to, but the difference between how the pack viewed me and how the pack viewed Mia was night and day.
Where I was introverted and quiet, Mia was cool, outgoing, and confident.
She was very personable and sweet, and the pack seemed to love her.
Even though I tried to ignore the jealousy that was slowly building, it was hard to push aside the feelings of inadequacy that bubbled up every time I saw Joe and Mia laughing together. It was even worse when one of them held Rose in their arms, and they looked like the perfect happy family.
Meanwhile, I was the plain, anxious, odd nanny. And that was all.
Even if Joe was still flirting with me sometimes, he seemed to be pulling away. He wasn't spending as much time at home, and when he was there, he often locked himself in his office or was on the phone. When he did talk to me, it was always about Rose and her schedule, and nothing else.
It hurt more than I wanted to admit, but I had to be okay with this new normal.
Things were going well for the most part, and I didn't want to mess anything up by being selfish.
It didn't matter if, at night, I dreamt about how he'd touched me the night of my heat, and how it had felt to fall asleep knotted to him.
It didn't matter if I cried myself to sleep with those memories in the forefront of my mind. Nothing mattered more than Rose having her family complete again.
It was only a matter of time before I was sent back to the Saltfangs, and this wonderful, heartbreaking part of my life was over. Somehow, I had to find a way to be okay with that.