Page 28 of Rejected Nanny Mate (Crystal Creek Wolves #3)

Tears were flowing down my face by the time I made it to the first floor of the house, and I was holding back a full-on sob by the time I made it outside. I pushed through the crowd, desperate to get free, even when I heard people yelling my name.

He'd been alone with Mia. She'd been undressing.

It was ridiculous to feel this way. I knew I had no claim on him.

Joe wasn't mine, and he never would be. He was an Alpha, and I was just a poor, broken Omega wolf.

It didn't matter that I thought I was in love with him, or that every time I looked at Rose, I wanted to make her my daughter, too.

He was a catch. He was a prime example of a wolf shifter, and even if he wasn't, he was a good man.

Anyone would be lucky to have him as a partner.

Even if it wasn't me.

I made it out of the backyard, and I shifted into wolf form, running through the forest that surrounded Joe's house.

I didn't know where I was going, but I couldn't stay there, not with the image of him and Mia together fresh in my mind.

I didn't want to see him again, not when I was still reeling from the shock.

My heart felt like it had been torn out of my chest and stomped on, and I was gasping for air even though I was a wolf. I kept running.

A shadow came up behind me, and I knew it was Joe.

He was coming after me, and I was so upset that I had to run faster than him, I had to escape.

The forest was dark, the trees looming above us as we raced through the underbrush, and I had to jump over fallen logs and duck under branches to avoid running straight into them.

Joe was larger and faster, but I was lighter, and I managed to stay ahead of him by just enough.

But eventually, I got tired, and slowed, and I knew he was right behind me. I felt his presence, and when I turned around, he was there, towering above me as a wolf, looking down at me. His green eyes were glowing, and I wondered if I was about to be attacked by a wolf three times my size.

His jaw opened, and I thought he was about to bite me, but instead, he leaned down and grabbed my scruff with his teeth, lifting me off the ground. I went limp, letting him carry me like a puppy as he turned around and took off once more.

I felt ridiculous. I wanted to fight him, to run away again, but I knew he'd catch me, and that he'd be able to keep me there.

When we reached a quiet area near a stream, Joe deposited me on the ground, then shifted back and stood above me, arms crossed.

He looked pissed, but also confused. He kept running a hand through his hair, making it stand on end.

“What was that about?”

I shifted, keeping my head down so I didn't have to look him in the eye. “I... I don't know.”

“You were just going to run off?” he demanded, and I felt a flash of annoyance. Yes, I was, but it was because of him.” You were going to run all the way back to Samson's land? What if you were attacked by a surge, Gwen? Did you even think about that?”

“No, I—I'm sorry, okay?”

“I was looking for you all night. I had this whole fucking party planned just to get you here, and then Mia cornered me, and I let her get the drop on me. And then you just ran away, no explanation, no nothing. Why do you think I was alone with her? I didn't want to be. She tricked me.”

“I... wait, what?” I looked up at him, frowning. “Why did you throw this party?”

He threw his hands up. “For you! To get you to come to my house so we could talk! So, I could apologize to you!”

“Apologize?” I repeated, incredulous. “For what?”

“For snapping at you!” he shouted, his eyes flashing.

“And for being an ass about Mia, and about Jayce, and for not telling you that I've wanted you since I first laid eyes on you. For not telling you that I need you in my life, Gwen.” He took a deep breath.

“I'm sorry for all of it, okay? I'm sorry.”

My heart skipped a beat. “What do you mean 'all of it'?”

He sighed and sat on a log near the running water. He patted the area next to him, and despite my better judgment, I lowered myself down next to him and listened as he spoke. My mind was already reeling from what he told me, but what he was about to confess would nearly bring me to my knees.

“When we first met, I was immediately drawn to you.

I'd never felt a draw like that towards any she-wolf, and I was willing to ignore the fact that we were in different packs to explore just what it meant. We became friends, and then...fuck, Gwen. I knew I was falling for you, and I wanted to talk to Samson about actually courting you and potentially bringing you into my pack if things worked out.”

All the blood had drained from my face, and I was watching him like he'd lost his mind. “What...?”

“The night after I kissed you, I went to speak to my father about it.

I'd been Alpha for a long time at that point, and my father was near death, but I wanted his approval before he passed.

What I'd never told you was...was that when he stepped down to let me take over Brokenclaw, he'd made me swear to marry a high-ranking Omega from a pack that would benefit our pack to connect with.

Dad was all about growing our power, and he was dismissive of the tri-pack alliance from the beginning.

When I told him about you, he went ballistic.

He threatened to humiliate me in front of the pack and to drag your name through the mud, too.

He was weak, but I didn't have it in me to fight him, Gwen. I would have killed him, and as much of an asshole as he was, he was still my father.”

“Why...” I forced out through numb lips. “Why are you telling me this now?”

“Because you confessed your love to me the next fucking night, and I didn't know what to do.

I was an asshole because I thought it would hurt you less if you hated me.

I figured that if you were mad at me, it would make it easier for you to stay away.

But it didn't, and it's been killing me inside to see you so upset every time I saw you.” He grabbed my hands in his.

“I'm sorry I lied, Gwen. I'm sorry I tried to push you away. I want to be with you; I want to give this a shot.”

“You're insane,” I said flatly, yanking my hands back. “You think I'm just going to forgive you like that? You rejected me, and now you want me to come back? Is this some kind of joke?”

“It's not a joke,” Joe said, frowning. “Denying you nearly destroyed me.

When Kiera suggested you could be Rose's nanny, I thought maybe the universe was giving me a second chance.

My Dad died years ago, but even if he were still around, I'm man enough now to have told him to fuck off. I expected that things would come back slowly between us, if they did at all, but as soon as you moved in, the feelings came back in full force.” He sighed.

“Gwen, I've never stopped caring about you.”

I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe him so badly that my heart ached. “Then why, Mia?” I asked, voice breaking. “Why was she undressing in front of you?”

Joe's expression turned dark, and I knew he was thinking about what had happened.

“I don't know. She came to me to talk, and I let her drag me into a room alone.

It was stupid, but I never thought she'd try to seduce me.

Not when she's relying on me for sanctuary and hoping to join the pack. It was a stupid fucking move on her part, but I was stupid for letting her get me alone.”

I sighed. “Joe...if this is true, and I'm not saying I fully believe you yet, then I'm glad you told me, but I can't just leap into this. You hurt me. I can't forget that. We need to take this slow. We can't rush it.”

“Whatever you need, Gwen.”

“And…” I paused, looking into the distance. “You aren’t allowed to get mad at me about this, because I caught you eavesdropping on me, too, remember? The day we argued downtown, I heard you and the other Alphas talking about me, and how I was plain, and—”

“Goddammit,” Joe dragged a hand through his hair.

“It was all a lie, Gwen. I know it makes me look like even more of an asshole, but I just said all that shit because Jayce seemed interested in you, and I wanted him to stop. I didn’t want anyone else to pursue you.

You…are so damned beautiful to me, Gwen. I wish I could take it all back.”

I sighed. “I think I need time. Time to process, to heal from the last few months, and to get used to the idea of...of being with you.” I looked down at my hands. “And Rose.”

“She already adores you.”

“I adore her, too, but that doesn't mean we should rush into anything.”

He nodded. “Take your time.” Then, Joe swallowed, bringing a hand to my face. “The night you went into heat was the best night of my life, Gwen. The connection was real. It still is.”

I was hot all over, thinking of that night, the way he'd made me come apart again and again.

The warmth of the memory drove away the cold from the shock, and it felt like color was coming back into the world again.

My heart was thumping in my chest, and I couldn't believe everything that had just happened.

He hadn't wanted to leave me. He'd cared for me this entire time.

“I...” I licked my lips, trying to find the words, and trying to resist the urge to just throw myself into his arms. “I need to go, before I do something stupid, but...could you kiss me, just once, before I do?”

Joe's mouth was on mine in a heartbeat, and he was kissing me with all the passion and fervor of someone who'd been denied for eons.

I kissed him back, matching his energy and feeling my body responding to his as it had the night we spent together.

The chemistry between us was undeniable, and I couldn't keep myself from wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer, kissing him with everything I had.

His warm, masculine scent enveloped me, and I tilted my head back to give him better access to my neck.

Joe peppered kisses from my jawline to my throat, and finally to the sensitive scent gland on the side of my neck. When he opened his mouth and sucked at that spot, my desire roared to a fever pitch, and something snapped deep in my belly.

Oh, no.

It was just like before, the night of the first surge.

My heat came on like a runaway train, completely out of nowhere.

It was much, much too soon, but the combination of having my first heat so late in life and my intense need for Joe had triggered it anyway, and I was positive that I was going up in flames.

Joe knew it, too, his nostrils flaring as he scented the change in me.

I pulled back, panting, and put my hands on his shoulders to hold him at arm's length.

As much as I wanted him to take me to the forest floor and fuck me senseless, all the things he'd told me were too important to wash away in the haze of sex.

I wanted more than just sex with Joe, and if I was going to sort through my feelings, I was going to have to accomplish the monumental task of walking away from him just minutes after my heat had started.

“I have to go,” I said, standing on shaky legs. “I can't do this. I'm not ready.”

“Gwen—”

“No, I mean it. I can't do this right now.” I ran a hand through my hair, which was already a mess from the run through the forest and the kissing. “I... I believe you about how you feel, and I'm sorry about Mia, but I need to get my head on straight. This is all happening too fast.”

Joe sighed. “Okay. I get it. I'm not happy about it, but I understand. Do you want me to walk you home?”

“No,” I said, taking a step back. “It's better if you don't.”

He frowned, looking annoyed, but didn't argue. “Okay. Be safe.”

Not trusting myself to look back, I turned and shifted again, my body thrumming with energy, and ran away from Joe, knowing he wouldn't follow.

The run back was much longer, but I wasn't able to think straight with the heat burning inside of me.

Every time I thought about the things Joe had confessed, I also thought about our kiss, and then about the way we'd fucked before.

It made it hard to concentrate, and I got turned around a few times.

It wasn't safe, running so aimlessly, but the longer I sprinted, the more exhausted I became, and with exhaustion came clarity of mind.

I ran and ran, until the adrenaline and the pounding need for rest and water overcame my heat.

By the time I made it back to Joe's house, I could sense that he still wasn't home, and the bonfire party was winding down.

I didn't even bother shifting back to human, trotting past a few other pack members who all looked at me curiously.

It wasn't until I was in my room, with the door locked, that I trusted myself to be on two feet again.

I shuffled, barely able to stand, to the bathroom and cranked the shower to the hottest setting, stepping beneath the water the second it began to fall.

I tilted my head back, letting the water cascade over me, and for the first time since Joe had caught me by the scruff, I felt like I was myself again. Fully in control.

And, to my utter shock, Gwen, with a clear mind, wanted the exact same thing that heat-addled Gwen wanted.

I wanted Joe, and I didn't want any more distance between us. He'd been so vulnerable, opening himself up to me and showing me the most painful parts of himself, all so the air would be clear for us to try again. That time, when the tears started to fall, they were happy tears.

I laughed, there by myself in the shower. I knew what I wanted, and after a long sleep, I was going to find him and tell him exactly how I felt. I was going to tell Joe I'd never stopped caring for him, and that I was ready to start over, this time with every road open in front of us.