Page 20 of Reanimated Ruin (Hearts In Horror #1)

CHAPTER TWENTY

Cat

I FOLLOWED HIM through the door to the lowest level then down the stairs. The solid wood cabinet we’d put in front of the door to the outside was still holding strong, so that was good. We started with a storage room that was accessible by a door located under the staircase. I was glad the power was still on because we’d yet to find a flashlight. Jules pointed me to piles of stuff on one side of the room while he took to tackling the other.

“I’m assuming Dom sent us down here to force us to talk about last night,” I decided to break the silence after a bit despite everything in me screaming at me to retreat into my shell like a turtle. “Look, I’m really sorry you had to see that last night. I never wanted to do anything to hurt you again.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he murmured, continuing the task in front of him without turning around to look at me. “It really wasn’t my place to get upset with you two. You’re both single. Why shouldn’t you be able to hook up?”

“Come on,” I said, a little frustration leaking out at him trying to play it off. “Why can’t we just talk about it like adults? We’re never going to be able to get back to where we were if we keep dancing around conflicts like this. I can tell you’re still upset. Just be honest with me, please.”

From behind him, I could see his head tic to the side and his shoulders bunch together with tension. I had hit a nerve with that one and knew I’d messed up before he even whipped around with fire in his eyes.

“You want to lecture me about honesty?” His anger buzzed around him as he took a step towards me and continued. “I told myself I’d keep my cool for this conversation, but seriously? How can you stand there and give me a hard time about being ‘honest’ when you’re the one still keeping so many secrets? Of course I’m upset, Cat. Is that what you want to hear? I’ve loved you since I was a kid. I never stopped, so it hurts to see you choose people over me. It’s not like I expect anything from you, but I can’t help the way I feel. I don’t know what you want from me.”

“You want the truth?” I asked him, scathingly taking a step towards him myself. “Scott fucking raped me. I didn’t ‘choose’ him. Your lovely ex girlfriend, great taste by the way, set the whole thing up. Ask me how I know. Right before he did it he said ‘Don’t be a prude, Mallory said you’d be nice and easy’. Didn’t get that part on video though, did he? Then, as the cherry on top, he didn’t get any consequences.

“As a result, my life was absolutely ruined and nothing happened to him. At all . My parents accepted a settlement to go away cause nothing could be proved and I was forced to sign an NDA. I couldn’t be honest with you. I’m risking everything by telling you all this even now. The only reason I feel remotely safe telling you is because the fucking world is ending, but mine ended a long time ago.”

“That’s why your parents made you move,” he whispered, tears streaming down his face. “I’m so sorry. Fuck, I never would have pushed so hard if I had any idea. I mean, thank you for telling me, but holy shit. I won’t tell anyone, I swear. I’d never do anything to put you in any kind of trouble. Does anyone else know?”

“Dom knows,” I admitted. “I only told him just last night, though, after you caught us together.”

He slowly nodded, digesting the fact that he wasn’t the first of the two of them that I had told. I stood there in suspense, waiting and hoping he wasn’t going to be terribly upset with me at that fact.

“Okay,” he said slowly, pausing to try and find his words. “Sorry, I’m just having a hard time processing this because all I can think about is how I’m such a giant piece of shit for all the things I said to you that night right after you’d just been assaulted. I’m so fucking sorry. I’m a horrible person. How can you manage to not hate me, let alone bear to look at me?”

He looked like he was on the verge of a mental breakdown, running his hands through his hair and messing up his usually neat black waves. He started pacing back and forth, abandoning our search entirely with wide, panic-stricken eyes. I took a few more steps towards him, preparing to do damage control and attempt to calm him down, but he abruptly stopped pacing. He turned to me coming towards him, put his hands up to block my path and took a giant step back.

“No,” he shook his head back and forth emphatically. “Don’t try to comfort me. I don’t deserve it, Cat. I was so nasty to you when you needed me the most. Was the reason Dom turned his back on you, because he wanted to be a good friend to me. Felt like he owed me some kind of loyalty. If we had just listened to you, maybe things would have turned out differently. I would have never doubted you, not even back then. I could have stood on the stand for you as a witness, but because I couldn’t see past my own pain I only ended up silencing you too.”

He turned around and kicked a box of stuff across the room. Usually, men getting aggressive and throwing things around made me anxious, but I could tell Jules’s anger wasn’t directed at me. He was furious with himself and the worst part was I didn’t know what to say to calm him down at first. He was right. I’d thought that many times myself. What if I’d had my two best friends there to stick up for me? Literally anyone who believed me. Would things have gone differently? Would I have gotten my justice?

“I don’t hate you Jules,” I responded. “Mallory tricked me too. I thought I was finally going to have girl friends. She said she was gonna take me under her wing and I had the potential to be head cheerleader when she graduated. I was so sheltered I didn’t realize how mean girls can be, so I trusted her when I shouldn’t have. It’s neither of our faults what happened.

“I don’t blame you for anything that happened after. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking of ways it could have gone differently, but it always leads back to me being silenced. I’m a nobody. No one cares about what happens to people like me. I didn’t have some big football future. Even if you guys were there to vouch for me, it probably would have always ended with me never getting to share my truth. My own parents weren’t even on my side.”

“I care about what happens to you,” he replied, looking down at me through bleary eyes. “At least you wouldn’t have had to go through it all by yourself. How could you ever even think about forgiving me? I threw you to the wolves and they just chewed you up and spit you out. What have the past four years even been like for you?”

“Lonely,” I said softly. “I never went back to a real high school. I just did on-line schooling till I graduated. I got a job right after then spent every waking minute trying to save up enough money to get the hell out of my parents’ house. I didn’t really have any time for friends even if I’d had the desire to make them in the first place. Trust issues, am I right?”

I tried to make a small joke to lighten the mood while discussing such a heavy subject matter, but he didn’t seem amused. I guess I could understand. This was all new information to him. I’d had years to process this, but it was still crashing over him in waves, the storm ever present and raging.

After everything I’d been through, I’d just kind of grown numb to it. When so many things keep happening to you over and over again, you kind of just adapt and learn to stop being surprised when you hit a new low. You can’t be disappointed when you don’t expect much from the shit hand you’d been dealt in the first place.

“Look, I’m okay, really,” I continued, closing the gap between us and putting my hand on his arm. He didn’t move away from me this time, just stood there still with his arms crossed. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about it and go over everything that’s happened. I can’t go back in time and undo what was done, so the best thing I can do is just move on. It wasn’t the first shitty thing to happen to me and it definitely wasn’t the last. The main thing I’ve taken from it is that I’m a survivor. People can try to destroy me but I’ll always come out on the other side more resilient than I was before. So please try not to beat yourself up over it because I promise you they don’t lose a wink of sleep over what they did to me.”

“How the hell are you so tough?” He asked, reaching out to cup my cheek with awe alight in his eyes. “You are seriously the strongest person I know. You will never cease to amaze me. Even if you forgive me, it’s going to be a while before I allow myself the same luxury. I will never stop being so terribly sorry, I swear I’ll spend my whole life making it up to you if that’s what it takes. It will never happen again. I’d go to war for you, Kitty. From this day forward, you can always count on me. I know the world is changing and things are getting really scary out there, but I’ll be by your side as long as you’re sure you want me to be.”

“Thank you,” I whispered, staring into his eyes as he still held my face in his large hand. “I do have feelings for you, Jules, more than just friends. You have no idea how many times I’ve wished it’d been you who took my virginity. It should have been you. I wanted it to be. That night in your room was real.”

Now I was crying too. Seeing him look so sad was worse agony than reliving my past. My pain I could handle, seeing the people I loved hurt ripped a hole right through my chest. That was something I’d never be able to numb myself to. I wasn’t lying by telling him I had feelings for him and I wasn’t saying it just to placate him, I truly meant it.

I was sick of all the barriers between us. Life was proving to be too fragile to waste time trying to pretend I didn’t feel the way I did. I’d wasted enough time hiding away, thinking the two boys who meant the world to me wouldn’t be able to understand if I told them the truth.

Besides facing legal consequences, I don’t know what I’d been so afraid of. They both knew now and neither had reacted like I’d expected. They’d both immediately believed me and been horrified it’d happened. Both wishing they’d been able to do something about it. I should have known deep down that they’d be on my side. They always were before that one night. I had to think that was part of Mallory’s plan. Get me so drunk I wouldn’t even be able to properly explain myself. Bravo, at least she was good at what she did. As far as I knew though, it hadn’t won her back Jules.

“You have feelings for me?” He questioned, eyes flicking back and forth between mine. “You really mean it? More than friends?”

I decided, fuck it, actions spoke louder than words and leaned in to kiss him. With one hand still cupping my cheek, his other hand came up around my waist, pulling me tight to him and meeting my lips halfway. The kiss started off sweet and gentle, but soon became filled with hunger, our tongues tangling together messily. My arms went up around his neck, entwining my fingers through his silky hair and tugging on it lightly. Both his hands flew down and grabbed my ass, lifting me up off my feet and spinning us around to press me against the wall.

The first time we kissed as kids had gotten hot and heavy, but it had nothing on the fire blazing between us currently. While he had been lanky and awkward as a teen, his body was now covered with solid muscle I could feel crushing against my soft curves. There was an urgency that wasn’t there before, like it was absolutely critical that we get as close to one another as possible before we woke up, and this was all a dream. I know personally I’ve spent a lot of time myself longing for him, imagining what it’d be like if we’d ended up together in a different life. It always felt like I was missing something that was supposed to be a part of me forever.

The position we were now in had him welded firmly to me and causing friction in all the right places. I removed one of my hands from his hair and slid it down to his chest to grab a handful of his shirt. I began to kiss my way down his neck. Once I got down to his collarbone, I then licked all the way back up to behind his ear in one stroke.

He whimpered lightly, shuddering and grinding his hips against mine. Suddenly my whole body went up in flames and I was desperate to do anything to make him make that sound again. After getting left high and dry last night, it felt like there was a wild animal inside of me gnawing at the bars of its enclosure to come out and play.

“Put me down,” I urged seductively into his ear and bucked my hips back against his.

He looked at me a little confused, getting mixed messages from me wanting to be released, but complied anyway. He’d understand in a moment. Hearing that noise come out of him awoke something in me. I’d never been the one to be in control during something sexual and I wanted to try something out.

Once I was back on my feet, I stood up on my tippy-toes and kissed his neck again. He leaned into my lips and moaned, putting both hands on the wall and caging me in. I pulled back, smirked at him then sank to my knees. I reached out and went to unbuckle his belt with shaking hands. As much as I wanted to do this, I was a little nervous. I’d never done it before.

“Kitty, you don’t have to do that,” he went to stop me.

“Please, don’t do this again,” I pleaded. “If you want me to, Jules, I want to.”

“Okay,” he said quietly and nodded, giving me permission to continue.

I unbuckled his belt then undid the button and zipper, looking back up into his eyes I gently tugged down his boxers and jeans at the same time. When I did, his cock bounced free and once again I was marveling at the size of the appendage in front of me. Who knew both he and Dom were packing serious heat?

He gave a small smile at my shocked expression and I decided to wipe the smirk right off his face as I took a hold of him in my hand. I darted out my tongue to flick it around the tip, then took it into my mouth. He hissed in a breath through gritted teeth, and now it was my turn to take him by surprise. I swirled my tongue around the head in a circle a few times, then slid him deeper into my mouth.

“Fuck.” He took one hand off the wall and caressed it down my cheek as my head bobbed up and down. “That feels so good, pretty girl.”

He whimpered again when he hit the back of my throat, surprising us both at how far down my throat I took him. I massaged the underside of his length with my flattened tongue and created suction with my lips as his hips started moving. He thrusted shallowly in and out of my mouth as if he couldn’t help but submit as his body’s instincts took over. His hooded eyes still hadn’t left mine as he stared back at me with complete adoration. One hand traveled down my neck from my face to land on one of my breast and knead my nipple through my shirt.

“Holy shit,” he gasped. “God, Kitty, you’re amazing.”

He trailed his hand across to the other side of my chest and gently pinched my other nipple, eliciting a heady moan from me. I had a feeling I’d enjoy this, but had no idea it’d make me this wet. I clenched my slick thighs together to try to soothe the aching between them. It made me feel powerful to have him at my mercy, writhing in pleasure from every sensual swipe of my tongue. Every sound he made was encouragement to keep him in ecstasy, so he’d never stop. It was turning me on so much to hear just how affected he was by my touch. When I finally had managed to swallow his entire length, his eyelids started flitting and his hips started stuttering.

“Fuck, Kitty, I’m so close,” he tried to pull out, but both my hands shot to his thighs and held on to keep him in my mouth.

“If you don’t stop, I’m gonna finish in your mouth,” he tried to warn me. It was cute he didn’t think I knew what was about to happen.

I held eye contact and gave him a sultry nod, to convey that I knew, and I wanted him to do exactly that.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck,” he moaned, reaching up to sink a firm hand into my hair as he began spilling down my throat. “I’ve missed you so fucking much. Never leave me again.”

I drank down every drop, the motions of my swallowing causing him to shudder as he was still fully seated, riding out the last of his orgasm. Before I couldn’t understand what a woman could possibly get out of giving a blow job, but I get it now. The way Jules was looking at me right now, like I was a goddess, descended from the heavens themselves to bless him and only him. That could get addicting.

His pupils were blown wide, looking at me like his entire world was kneeling right in front of him. Even though I was the one on my knees, it did nothing to say anything about where the power lay. He stoked my cheek a few more times, then pulled out of my mouth and hastily stuffed himself back into his pants before hoisting me back up to my feet.

He once again caged me against the wall and kissed me, not afraid in the slightest to shove his tongue where his dick had just been. His hands roamed all over my body until one got to between my thighs. He rubbed gently and pulled back to look at me.

“I’m serious,” he murmured, now being the one to drop to his knees, and put both hands on my hips as he placed a kiss to my stomach. “Please never leave again. I wouldn’t live through it. I need you, everything’s dark when you’re gone.”

He kissed lower down my stomach, dipping a finger into the waistband of my leggings, and looked back up, waiting for me to give him the go ahead. I nodded my head in approval and just as he went to pull them down, the door at the top of the stairs clicked open.

“Hey,” Dom’s voice called down. “You guys might want to come take a look at this.”

Jules’s forehead dropped to my stomach in exasperation at now being interrupted himself. He thinks he’s frustrated? I’m about ready to burst with all this getting worked up only to be left hanging. We both straightened out our clothes before heading back upstairs. When we got there, both Sadie and Dom were standing at the window with worry thickly coating the air. We walked up beside them to investigate what they were seeing that had such grave expressions plaguing their faces.

“We were upstairs when we heard commotion outside,” Dom said. “Looked outside and there were three people running from a bunch of infected. They broke into the condo four doors down but lured every single biter in the area over here in the process. They just keep coming.”

It looked like there were over two hundred infected crowding the front lawn of the condos and more were stumbling up every second. I had to stop looking because the longer I did, the longer I’d get stopped on faces. Get stuck on how only days ago these were people with lives and families. As terrifying as it was, it was also absolutely heartbreaking.

They began to spread out and search for a way in, banging on every door, not caring that it wasn’t the one their prospective meal had disappeared through. The banging started on our own door, thumping could be heard and I assumed it was the cabinet getting jostled around. Struggling to hold back the sheer weight of all those bodies pressing to get in.

“We need to get everything we need and fast. We’re going to have to leave within the hour,” Dom barked. “The door isn’t going to hold if they keep piling up like that. They’re going to get in and we need to not be here when it happens.”

“We didn’t get very far with the basement, but if we all go down and look, we should be able to scavenge anything that’s down there,” Jules replied.

Dom eyed us both closely, took in both our hair in its disheveled state, chuckled to himself, then turned around shaking his head. I’m sure he could assume what had gotten us so sidetracked, but we worked through last night like he wanted. I know the timing is piss poor, but how were we supposed to know we’d need to be leaving in an hour?

We heard the sound of distant cracking wood, the bang of a door hitting a wall, then the screaming started. The horde had broken down the door to the other survivor’s condo. As horrifying as it was to hear the sounds of someone’s dying fight, it was enough to distract the infected banging on our door for the time it took us to scramble around and get everything we needed to leave.