Page 47 of Quiet as Kept
It was Reese’s turn to cry.
“I wasn’t expecting all of this. I was just letting you all know what’s going on.”
Yahirah and Xarielle both jumped from their seats to give her hugs. My head spun. My aunt was having surgery. My ex was moving into one of my places for an undetermined amount of time. My biological mother wanted not only to reunite with mebut to be allowed access to build a relationship with my girls. My father was her biggest advocate. I was falling for the nanny—a girl I had known since we were kids.
I could already feel anxiety building inside of me. My response to stressful situations had always been to unplug, shut down, and retreat inside of myself. I knew that I needed to talk all of this shit out with my therapist before I went over the edge.
We ran errands the next day. The first stop was the community center. After informing Sanders that I was replacing him, I needed to find a new swim instructor. Once that was handled, the second stop was the house in Port Jackson.
“I love thishouse,” Xarielle told me as I pulled the truck to a stop in the crushed-shell driveway.
I looked over at her and grinned. “Good. Keep that energy.”
“Why?”
We got the girls out of their car seats and walked up to the house. I unlocked the door, disarmed the alarm, and finally turned to her.
“Because I want you to decorate it. I want you to tell me what you think it needs to make it a place that we’d want to stay. I’ll allocate the money, and it can be your project if you want it.”
“My project?” Her brown eyes were alight with wonder and excitement. “What exactly does that mean? You’ll let me decorate it?”
“I will.”
The joy in her eyes clouded over. “But you’re the architect. You’re the home builder. You’re the one who knows what it takes to make a home appeal to a buyer.”
“Right.” I nodded slowly. “I know what it takes to make a home appeal to the masses. I know how to make a home universally appealing. I understand using beige paint in every room so potential buyers can envision their belongings in the house. I want you to do something different. I want you to make it appealing to you, to us, to this family. And if you need guidance, I’ll give it to you. But I want you to have control.”
“You saidthis family.”
“I know.”
She stared up at me. “You consider me part of your family?”
I backed her up as I stared into her brown eyes. When her back hit the wall, I caged her in with my arms.
“Am I not making it clear to you how I feel about you, Xari? Am I not giving you enough to feel what I feel? Check it out. I know I can be reserved. I’ve heard it my whole life.”
“I can be distant.”
I shook my head and rested my lips atop hers. “What? You probably can be, but you’re not with me or Dakota and Destin. You’re the best thing that could’ve happened to us, and if I’m not making you feel that way, if I’m not showing you that on a daily basis, then I’m fucking up.”
She stared into my eyes, unblinking. I stared into hers.
“I don’t even know how to handle everything you’ve brought into my life . . . bring into my life on the daily.”
“Same,” she told me.
I want this girl so fucking bad.
It was wild as hell because she’d only been in my house for about three months. I already wanted her in my bed. I wanted her to belong to me.
She stepped out of my arms. “So, you want this house to reflect the four of us. You, me, Dakota, and Destin?”
“Yep.”
Her grin was wide. “And what’s my budget?”
After we walked through the small house nine hundred times and Xarielle had compiled her list of the areas that she most wanted to address, we went to the third and final stop on my list.