Page 40 of Quiet as Kept
“Trinity, can you take the girls upstairs and?—”
She stopped him. “I got it, big bruh.”
“June, we’ll take—” Vivienne began but Kept cut her off.
“Nah.” He shook his head. “I don’t want you to take them. I want Xarielle to take them, but it’s her day off. So, Trinity’ll take them. I want to talk to you,” he pointed at Jayla, “you,” he pointed at Vivienne, “and you.” He pointed at his dad. “Let’s go in my office for a minute.”
“Oh, shit,” Nehemiah stage whispered, causing his wife to punch him in the bicep.
While we laughed at Nehemiah’s antics, Kept led the other three out of the room.
Twelve
Kept
This was some shit that I wasn’t trying to deal with, but I realized at my daughter’s birthday party that me sticking my head in the sand and not saying anything wasn’t solving any of the issues that were eating me up on the inside.
I took a seat in my office chair while they took seats on the sofa. I didn’t have office chairs for guests. I had a sofa because my girls liked tovisitme in my office. They needed something to climb on while they hung out with me.
I sighed before I started. “I have a habit of keeping a lot of things inside. Those who know me, which would be everybody here except you, Vivienne, know this. I’m a quiet and reserved guy. But I gotta be honest, y’all have disrespected the shit out of my laid-back demeanor this weekend. And I can’t let another minute pass without addressing the drama and the upset y’all have brought to my doorstep.”
I watched both my father and Vivienne’s eyes balloon. Jayla folded her arms across her chest and rolled her eyes as if I was doing too much.
“Dad.” I locked eyes with him. “Respectfully, I’m pissed at you for the ambush.”
“June—”
I waved my hands while simultaneously shaking my head. “Nah. Nah. Nah. You need to hear me. What you did, springing Vivienne on me the way you did, was an ambush. And it’s fucked up. I get that you love her. You always have. She’s probably the love of your life, and I’m cool on that. You wanna get your old thing back, spin the block on your first love, I’m with it. But I don’t know this lady.”
Again, they looked shocked at my words, which I didn’t get because it wasn’t like I wasn’t speaking the truth.
“You’ve got her around my kids. She’s got them calling her GiGi. I’m uncomfortable with it.”
There, I finally said it.I finally opened my mouth to put my house back in order. I took a deep breath to center myself before I kept going.
“For you, this lady might be the bright morning star. She might be everything that’s good in the world. For me, she’s the lady who only had me to spite Priscilla, named me Kept to spite Priscilla, dumped me off at my great-grandmother’s house at birth, and never acknowledged my existence or tried to forge any kind of relationship with me.” I turned my gaze on Vivienne. “I don’t know you, and I don’t mess with you. I don’t want you cozying up to my daughters acting like you want to build with them. If Gannon wants to risk his heart and feelings on you cool. He’s a grown man, presumably he’s equipped to deal with the disappointment of you turning out to be exactly who you’ve always been.
“My girls are innocent babies. They’ve already had the woman who brought them into this world walk out on them. I’m not about to sit still and let them get left behind again. I messed up even letting you have the time with them that you’ve had.You never should’ve been allowed to be this close to them. I was distracted and dazed. But I’m good now. I’m myself now. You wanna get to know my girls? I need to get to know you. I need to make sure you’re a safe person for them to know.” I sighed. “I really think it would be best if y’all slept at a hotel tonight.”
Jayla audibly gasped. I guessed because she knew I was dealing with her next.
“But with your plane leaving tomorrow, I’ll deal with the imposition for one more night. But, Vivienne, please refrain from selling my girls stories about the relationship you’re gonna build with them.”
“June, I think—” my father began.
Vivienne held up her hand and stopped him. “Gannon, no. Kept hasn’t made one point that wasn’t valid. We did spring this on him like it would be a pleasant surprise, and it was probably more like dashing cold water in his face.” She made eye contact with me. “I was a piss poor mother to you, Kept. Not because you deserved it or anything like that. I just endured so much hurt from Gannon. I couldn’t open myself up to him anymore. He’d ripped my heart right out of my chest a thousand times before you were born. I wanted you so badly, and truth be told, I wanted you with him.
“There was never another man on earth that I wanted to have a family with, but I couldn’t trust him to protect me. There was too much going on, and I couldn’t handle it. I was weak. I should’ve fought harder, been stronger, but I wasn’t. Priscilla was relentless about Gannon. I felt like I had to save myself.”
I cocked my head to the side and pulled a face. “I’m not gonna say that I’m calling bullshit, Vivienne, but really? Thirty-four years later, and this is the best you can come up with? Why would that stop you from spending time with me at Granny’s house? You could’ve seen me any day of the week. You didn’t. So, really you should say, ‘I was a piss poor mother to you.’ Full stop.Don’t make excuses. There is no excuse. Me and my therapist talk about the fact that there is no excuse four to five times a month.”
She turned to her fiancé. “I think we should see if we can get a hotel room.”
“Running again as soon as things get uncomfortable for you and you get called on your bullshit.” I shook my head in disgust at her.
“June.”
“What, man?”