Page 4 of Quiet as Kept
“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.,” I mumbled to myself, reading the poster facing me as I stood in the doorway.
I set both the plate of food and my work bag on the counter.
I took a shower and dressed in my coziest flannel sleepshirt. It was an unseasonably cold March in Londynville, and the temperature outside liked to find its way into my apartment. I quickly grabbed my plate from the microwave, sat down on my loveseat, and pulled upLove After Lockupon my phone.
I had just walked the empty plate to the trash can when my phone rang. I hustled across the room and snatched it off the television tray before the call had a chance to roll to voicemail.
“Hey, boo.” Yahirah’s voice came through the phone.
“Hey.” I stifled a yawn.
She sighed dramatically before joking with me. “Uh, trust you to be sleepy at nine o’clock at night.”
“I know. I know. I don’t know if my life is that exhausting or that boring.”
“Xari.”
“What? I’m being serious, Hi.” I called her by her familial nickname. “You know I’m not one who likes to wallow in negative spaces . . . but it’s getting difficult to stay upbeat and optimistic.” I groaned. “Something has to give.”
“I know. You need a break from the everyday repetitiveness of life.” She commiserated.
“Yes. Exactly. That’s exactly what I need.”
“Did you request the two days in May that I told you to request?”
Yahirah wanted me to visit her in Atlanta. She and her fiancé were planning a big wedding. While I was excited and genuinely happy for her, I could admit to myself that watching Yahirah crush adulting while I was on a slow struggle bus to nowhere made me feel inadequate. I loved my best friend and knew logically that she wasn’t trying to rub her success in my face. Still, her life was a ten, and mine was somewhere closer to a two.
“May is pretty busy at work. A lot of teachers take off. I’m not sure if the director could get coverage for my room.”
I heard the distinct sound of teeth being sucked. “You always were the world’s worst liar, Xari. You have more seniority than 90 percent of the people working over there at Bunnyland?—”
“The Brainy Bunny.” I corrected.
“Whatever. You have more seniority than 90 percent of those girls. Request the time off! I’m making an appointment at the bridal salon. I want you and my mama to come with me to try on wedding dresses.”
“Are you serious?” I gushed.
“It was going to be a surprise, but since it’s the only way I can get you to come, I have to let the cat out of the bag.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Just request the time. I’ll pay for your plane ticket?—”
I cut her off again. “No, ma’am. I don’t want you paying for my plane ticket, Hi. You need to be saving. You have a wedding to pay for.”
“I have a best friend that needs to get to Atlanta. Anyway, a round trip ticket from Londynville to Atlanta is probably about three hundred dollars. That’s a drop in the bucket, boo.”
A drop in the bucket, I thought to myself and did a quick mental calculation about how many hours I would have to work to earn three hundred dollars—fifteen hours, give or take. I would need to work for two days to earn the same amount of money that my bestie considered a drop in the bucket.
This can’t be all that life has to offer,I mouthed to myself soundlessly. At some point, I would have to get to a point where I wouldn’t compare the cost of a thing to how many hours I would have to work to pay for it.
“Don’t buy anything yet.” I was going to have to go in my savings. I hated the thought of that because that money was for my future. One day, when my savings account had enough zeros, it would be my ticket to a different life. “Let me see if I can get the time off first.”
I knew I could get the time off. Yahirah was right about me having seniority at work, and I almost never took days off. I was actually one of those weird people who preferred being at work to sitting at home doing nothing. I decided that I would schedule the days off and buy myself a plane ticket. I would probably get Nisha to help me since I’d never bought one or even been on a plane before. I had never been out of Londynville. Then I would let Yahirah know that I was coming.
“Don’t fake me out, Xari.” She huffed out a frustrated sigh. “I know you have a thing about me spending money on you, but you’re my bestie. I love you. I miss you. I want to see you.I’m getting married, and I want to do all the things with you right by my side. You’re my maid-of-honor, Xari. You should be here, and if I have the means to get you here . . . I’m gonna get you here. So, get out of your feelings because you’re about to be spending a lot of weekends in Atlanta for the next year or so.
“There’s a lot to do—pick a dress, pick a venue, pick a caterer, pick a florist, a baker, a bartender, a deejay . . . whew. There’s a lot to do, and I need your help. Ayden’s mama isn’t the nicest. I don’t want to do this stuff with her. I want to do it with you and my own mama.”