Page 34 of Pyg

19

LAYING AN EGG

A lice checked the directions on her phone as she strolled through the park, which hummed with activity. She looked up from the map to where the dot on her screen stood in all three dimensions. A beautiful café with intricate black and white ironwork framing its eaves, like a fancy Victorian bandstand. Alice turned and half-expected Dick Van Dyke to pop up and sing a cheerful song amongst the tulips.

All the outside chairs and tables were full, so Alice waited in the shade of a willow tree. She pulled out her phone for something to do with her hands and resumed her research on Kegel exercises. After scanning an article called ‘The Big Squeeze’, she clicked a link on technique.

Alice clenched and tensed, breathing in for the count of one, two, three, four… fuck . She looked up at the smiling face of Ash, curiosity sparkling in her brown eyes. Alice fumbled with her phone, locking the screen as Ash reached her.

“What an earth were you doing just now? Because from a distance it looked like you were laying an egg.”

“Just practicing some… er, breathing exercises.”

“Doesn’t that come naturally to you?” Ash laughed and went in for a hug.

Alice grinned, trying not to notice the way Ash’s woody scent lingered in her wake or how the sleeves of her black T-shirt flexed around her biceps. Nope, definitely not noticing the soft curve of her breasts under the fitted material, either.

“This place is lovely. How have I lived here most of my life and never come across it before?”

“I guess you weren’t looking hard enough.” Ash’s grin pinched a dimple into her cheek and it was so damn cute Alice had to tear her eyes away before she did something she might regret.

“Ooh, table.” Ash sprung over to where a young couple with a grizzling baby were rising from their seats. Her phone trilled as they sat and she glanced at the screen. “Shit, sorry, Alice. I have to get this.”

As Ash stepped away, Alice picked up the menu and tried not to listen, but couldn’t help overhearing when Ash’s normally even tone rose with irritation.

“Seriously, Indi. You can’t let me down, you promised.”

She paced along the path, interjecting with, “Uh-huh. Right, well, you owe me big-time,” and “Yeah, I guess that’s my problem to figure out,” as she raked her fingers through her glossy hair.

Ash caught Alice’s gaze and rolled her eyes as she said into the phone, “Yeah, yeah, love you too, just a little bit less than I did before.” She hung up the call and made her way back over, groaning as she slumped into the bistro chair. Alice placed the menu down.

“Okay, that’s not a happy face. Who’s this Indi and what’s she done to upset you?”

Ash glanced up through her long eyelashes and sighed. “Indi is a he . And the answer to every gay Indian girl’s dreams.”

“Tell me more.”

“Remember, I told you I had a beard?”

Alice nodded.

“Well, that’s Indi, my gay best mate. Incredibly, we make each other appear straight at family gatherings. He’s like a very flamboyant invisibility cape.”

Alice laughed. “So, what’s he done to upset you?”

“Only gone and bailed on being my plus-one to my brother’s engagement party next weekend.” She added a “for fuck’s sake,” under her breath.

“I’ll go with you,” Alice said before pausing to breathe… or think.

“Oh. Er, I mean, the idea is to get through it somehow by passing as straight, so I’m not sure…” Ash shrugged, but then narrowed her eyes. “Fuck it. Maybe you should come with me?”

“Really? I don’t want to make anything worse for you.”

“They’ll all love you. You’re so glamorous, you’ll divert attention that way instead.”

Alice swatted away the compliment. “I’m hardly glamorous. And with some of the states you’ve seen me in recently, I’ve never looked such a wreck.”

“Seriously, have you seen yourself? Panda-eyes and ripped stockings notwithstanding… you’re stunning. I mean, you know that, right?” Ash blushed.

“Yeah, that’s me, a hot mess.” Alice crushed her lips together to stop herself from smiling too hard.

Ash cleared her throat. “So, do you know what you want?”

“Well, you’re the one who keeps getting interrupted as you’re about to say something intriguing. What do you want, Ash?”

“To order, I mean.” A teasing grin played on Ash’s lips. “You’ve been staring at the menu for ten minutes. I already know what I’m having so…”

Oh. My. God. “Surprise me. And a large glass of white wine…” … so I can fucking drown myself in it.

As Ash walked into the café, Alice tried and failed not to notice how her stonewashed denim jeans hugged her arse. Her thoughts spiralled into a vision of cupping those pert cheeks as Ash topped her.

“You look lost in thought,” Ash said as she returned with their drinks.

Heat rose up Alice’s neck and she gulped a mouthful of wine. “I think we need to finish our chat.”

“Yeah, we do.” Ash swigged from her bottle of beer.

Alice’s heart squeezed. This is it.

“It’s been nearly two years since things ended with Sam. I’ve really struggled to get over it. Like when she messages me, it’s as if everything comes crashing down again.” Ash frowned, and started peeling the label from her beer bottle.

Hmm, not where I hoped this was going. “Oh, you’re still in touch?”

“I try not to be, but sometimes she pops up on my phone, out of the blue, saying how much she misses me. Sometimes she says she wishes things were different.” Ash sighed. “But she let me down, not the other way around.”

Alice reached over the table and covered Ash’s hand with her own.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make this about Sam.” Ash stared down at their hands.

“It’s okay, you can talk to me about it.”

“I just wanted you to know that I understand what you’re going through with Fran.”

“Yeah, well about that, I?—”

“It’s hard for me to open up to people usually. And this will sound so clichéd, but I feel like I’ve known you forever.”

“Yeah, me too.” Alice’s voice came out higher than usual.

“I really enjoy your company, Alice. I’m glad that we met and that we’re friends.”

Alice guzzled another mouthful of wine, swallowing down the feelings she’d been hoping were about to be aired. Friends. Just good friends. She forced a smile.

“So, tell me more about this party. When is it? Where is it? What the hell am I supposed to wear?”

Visibly relieved that the conversation had moved on, Ash sat back.

Alice tried to concentrate as Ash reeled off the details of the party, but her mind whirred. Why did she have this yearning to over-complicate things with Ash? Had she been so desperate to fill the void left by Fran with something other than loneliness and self-loathing, she’d kept misreading the signs? Ash presented the thrill of something new, and she was unlike anyone Alice had ever met before. But Ash has been more than clear about what she wants, hasn’t she? She needs a friend, and you need one too, so don’t mess this up.

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Sorry, what?” Alice’s eyes dropped to Ash’s grinning lips as they exhaled a laugh.

“I asked whether you’d mind if we share a room? I can try booking a separate room at the hotel, but I doubt there’ll be any left since the party’s next week.”

Alice waved a hand between them. “It’s not as if it’ll be the first time we’ve shared a bed.”

“No, I know. I didn’t want you to think I was trying to…” Ash’s cheeks flamed.

“We’ve established that we’re just friends, right?”

Ash bobbed her head.

“And we’ve managed to keep our hands off each other so far.” Alice drank the remaining wine in her glass, trying to swallow with it the memory of waking up wrapped in Ash’s arms, stirred by the soft push of hips. “Well, at least I have,” she muttered.

Ash planted her palms on the table. “Oh God, the other morning, you were awake?”

Alice tried to squash her grin. “I might’ve been.”

“I’m so sorry. I haven’t slept beside someone for so long, I?—”

Alice placed a hand over Ash’s. “It’s fine… I’m teasing you. It was nice just being held. I miss that.”

“Mmm.” Ash stared at Alice’s hand atop hers and nodded slowly. A line etched between her brows, and she opened her mouth, but instead of speaking, she tipped her head back and drained the beer bottle, its shredded label curling over her fingers.

Alice tapped her empty glass. “Fancy another?”

* * *

Alice lay sprawled on her couch, an arm hanging over the edge as she flicked through the Netflix menu, looking at the screen but only seeing Ash’s face; her gorgeous, confusing-as-fuck face. She couldn’t get enough of her new friend , but for all the wrong reasons… and now, where was fucking Maggie when she needed to talk to her?

Alice groaned and let the remote roll out of her hand onto the plush rug. The television flickered with the looping trailer for Baby Reindeer .

God, am I like that poor deluded woman? Ash felt sorry for me, and she was just being kind, but now I’m obsessed and following her around like a stalker.

No, Ash had sought Alice out and made plans to begin with. Ash had decided to sleep over two nights in a row. And yes, she may have been asleep, but it was Ash who’d rolled into Alice’s bed-territory and humped her, not the other way around. Alice had enjoyed it, but she hadn’t initiated it. And okay, Alice had checked Ash out on more than one occasion, and she’d flirted, big time, but that was just what Alice did.

At least all the energy expended on trying to figure out Ash hadn’t been spent mooning over Fran.

Alice reached for her phone on the coffee table and called Maggie again. Her sister’s droll tone answered after three rings.

“What tragedy has befallen you this time, dear sister? Wait, don’t tell me, dead car, shattered heart, lost phone, broken bone?”

Alice pouted. “None of those, actually. But if it was, you’d only be finding out three hours later, and you’d feel pretty bad right now.”

“No, not really, darling. You are a grown woman.” The sound grew muffled. “Yes, those. Not the cheap ones.”

“Where are you?”

“In Waitrose, picking up a few groceries. You should try that sometime.”

“I’ll have you know, my fridge is fully stocked right now.”

At the thought of her fridge, Alice swung her feet off the couch and padded over to it. The sound on the line grew muffled again.

“No, Markus. You know we don’t get that brand. Honestly. Yes, the hot ones.”

“Shall I try you again later, Mags?”

“No, just a sec. Christ, Markus. A chunk of the Beaufort and maybe the Morbier, too. You know what you like.”

Alice stood in the yellow glow of her fridge, considering its contents.

Maggie breathed into the phone. “Sorry, Al. He’s bloody useless. Don’t ever marry a man, okay?”

“I think we’re safe on that count.” Alice chuckled and snapped off a yoghurt pot from a six-pack.

“Right, I’ve left him in the queue at the cheese counter. What’s up?”

“I really can call you back later, if it’s not a good?—”

“Now is fine. Speak. I’m standing near the quinoa, so it’s quiet.”

“I’m fucked, Mags. Totally fucked. You were right, as always. I’ve gone and caught feelings for Ash.”

“The doctor?”

“Yeah. I mean, I really like her. I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s driving me fucking nuts.” Alice licked the spoon.

“And does she like you?”

“I thought she did. I’m normally good at picking up that sort of thing, but maybe I’ve read it all wrong. Every time I think she’s about to say something or make a move, it fizzles into nothing. And worst of all, she keeps saying that we’re friends.”

“Right, okay. Well then, it sounds like you’ve got to stop being such a trashy lesbo-nymph.”

“Oi!”

“You said yourself that you could use a friend right now. So, this is your chance.”

“There’s a reason I don’t have any female friends apart from you.”

“Yes, because you sleep with them all and fuck it up.”

“No, I mean that women typically don’t get to know me for the friendship. I don’t really know how to?—”

“Well, whatever you’re doing with that doctor seems to be working. She wants to hang out with you all the time, doesn’t she?”

Alice agreed through a mouthful of creamy yoghurt.

“You can just enjoy someone’s company without having to sleep with them.”

“Yeah, I know, but I can’t get that out of my head. Perhaps I need to go out and get laid to take my mind off Ash’s amazing ar?—”

“Please don’t finish that sentence.”

“Arms.” Alice chuckled. “I was going to say arms . Honestly, she has very toned biceps.” Even though Maggie couldn’t see her, Alice flexed her muscle to demonstrate.

“Right, okay. Perhaps you should give yourself a break. Think of it like a sort of detox. You’ve just come out of something pretty intense with Fran, so take some time to cleanse your body. Clear your clogged chakras and it’ll open your heart and mind to something truly transformational.”

“Jesus, Mags, are they handing out samples of space cake at Waitrose or something?”

Maggie laughed, and Alice grinned into the phone.

“No, you know what I’m saying, though? Perhaps you’re just trying to fill the void with someone else, when actually, you need that space for yourself?”

“I had wondered that.”

“So a little distance between you and the doctor would be good. It’ll help you get some perspective, hey?”

“Hmm, yeah, but I’m going to her brother’s engagement party with her next weekend.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s at some swanky hotel in Yorkshire. I’ve no idea what to wear, but I’ll figure it out. Shame I ruined my Louboutins, they’d have been ideal.”

“Okay, well, those sorts of occasions can heighten emotions, so try to keep your head. And you can always call me if you need to.”

Alice scoffed a laugh. “What, and you’ll answer three hours later?”

“Yeah, something like that. Right, I better make sure Markus hasn’t got lost. Love you, Al.”

“Love you too, Mags.”

Alice cleaned the yoghurt pot with her tongue and wondered how her sister always managed to be so right about everything in Alice’s life, and yet somehow, she herself had ended up married to a prick like Markus.