Page 14 of Pyg

7

QUEEN OF I-FUCKING-TOLD-YOU-SO

A lice peeked around the doorframe and smiled at the sight of Ash curled up on the couch, adrift in peaceful slumber. She fought the urge to replace the cushion Ash’s arm was wrapped around with herself.

For the first time in a long time, Alice’s waking thought hadn’t been of Fran — it had been of breakfast. But with the doctor sleeping in her lounge, it would be rude to rattle through the bare cupboards, searching for food she knew wasn’t there.

Alice tiptoed down the hallway and softly closed the front door behind her. Blinking against the stark sunlight, she gripped the wet railing and focused on the steps down from her flat.

At the bottom of the staircase, she did a double take at the sporty black car in her parking bay, before remembering it was Ash’s. Alice’s own hunk of junk still sat lifeless and abandoned at the hospital, and Maggie hadn’t returned her call. Alice reached into her pocket for her phone and tensed when it wasn’t there — ugh, of course. Despite the inconvenience, she shrugged off the momentary regret at chucking it from the window of the Uber.

An early morning shower of rain had filled the air with a refreshing petrichor, and Alice drew a deep breath of the earthy scent. Fresh start.

She walked her usual route of leafy tree-lined streets and Regency terraced houses in the direction of Snoots and their fresh pastries — the best answer to her stomach’s demanding growls.

Hopping over the puddles in the cracked pavement, Alice made a pact with herself to get better at grocery shopping. She’d make a weekly meal plan, write a shopping list — and stick to it. It was time to get some routine back into her life. Time to grow up, said the voice of her sister inside her head. Alice shook it away, but the thought of Maggie remained. Maggie would like Ash because Ash was sensible and had her life together — from the little Alice knew of her, at least. Although, to be fair, Ash had just spent the night in the flat of a weird woman she’d only known for two days. Perhaps best not to mention that bit to Maggie if she ever introduced them.

Calm down, you’ve only just met her and you’re already subjecting her to Maggie and Markus.

* * *

Coffees in hand and baked goods tucked under her elbow, Alice pushed through the front door. Ash appeared in the hallway, her raven hair tousled with sleep and the chenille blanket wrapped around her shoulders like a cape.

“I’m so sorry. I must have fallen asleep on your couch.”

“You did, and it’s completely fine. I went to fetch us coffee, as well as some of the best croissants you’ll ever taste.”

“Snoots?”

“You know it?”

“Oh my God, yes.” Ash blushed and reached a hand behind her neck. “I mean, thanks… you didn’t have to… it’s not like I’m your guest. I totally showed up uninvited and fell asleep mid-conversation.”

Alice grinned, handing a coffee cup and paper bag to Ash. “You looked so peaceful. I didn’t want to disturb you. Besides, you’ve been so kind to me. It’s really above and beyond what I expect from the NHS.”

Laughter sparkled in Ash’s eyes. “I offer a very personalised service.”

Alice turned and Ash followed her back to the lounge. With her legs curled beneath her on the couch, Alice devoured the buttery croissant and, with her free hand, brushed the flaky pastry from her chest. She eyed Ash, who was carefully plucking flakes from her shirt and popping them in her mouth.

“Don’t want to waste a crumb,” she said, becoming aware of Alice watching her.

Alice smiled. “I’m pleased you stayed last night. I mean, I know you didn’t intend to, but I was grateful for the company.”

Ash scoffed. “I wasn’t much company… but I’m pleased you’re okay, Alice. I hope it helped to talk things through with someone. I was thinking perhaps, maybe?—”

Four loud bangs hammered at the front door and Alice jumped.

“What the?—”

A muffled yell came through the door. “Alice, are you there?”

“Maggie?” Alice jumped up and dashed along the hall. She flung open the door to the scowling face of her sister. “What are you doing here?”

“You leave that weird message, Alice, about your car and your phone. And then I can’t get hold of you. The line just rings and rings and what else was I supposed to do?”

Without waiting for an invitation, Maggie marched through to the lounge with Alice in tow.

“Oh, hello.” Maggie stopped dead at the sight of the other woman and turned to shoot Alice a filthy look.

“Hi. I should, er—” Ash gestured awkwardly to the door.

“Ash, this is Maggie, my sister. Mags, Ash is my — doctor. I mean, friend. She’s not my doctor. She’s a doctor, who is also my friend…” Alice’s words trailed off into an awkward laugh.

“Right.” Maggie stepped forward and limply shook Ash’s hand before turning back to Alice with a death stare. “And also, she’s no doubt the reason you couldn’t answer your bloody phone and tell me that you’re okay?”

“What? I told you to call the landline.”

“I did, Alice. It just rings,” Maggie said through gritted teeth.

Alice moved to the sideboard and pulled the phone cord, which came free in her hand. She winced and held up the loose connection. “Shit, I forgot I’d unplugged it. Telemarketers drive me mad.”

Maggie threw her arms up. “Oh, bloody hell, Al. Markus is fuming that I made him drive all the way over here on a Sunday morning. What were you thinking?”

“Clearly, I wasn’t. I didn’t mean to put you out. I just needed a little help.”

Maggie shot another sidelong glance at Ash, who was rubbing her neck.

“Well, thank you for coming to check I’m alive. I’ve had a rough couple of days. I think my car needs a jump; it’s been out of action since Friday night. That’s when I met Ash.”

“I see.” Mags darted a third disapproving look at Ash in as many minutes before fixing a hard gaze back on Alice, her blue eyes a shade lighter than Alice’s and all the more piercing for it.

“Right, well, you’ll have to get yourself together now and we’ll get going. Markus is waiting outside. Engine’s running, so don’t be long.”

“Okay, yep. I’ll be right there.” Alice saluted and Maggie tossed her a look of disdain before retreating down the hallway.

“Nice to meet you, Ashley,” she called over her shoulder without a backward glance.

“It’s Asha,” Alice yelled back as the front door slammed shut.

Ash puffed out a breath. “Blimey, is she always so intense?”

“Yeah, pretty much. We’ve always been close, but we’ve not seen eye-to-eye for a while now.” Alice massaged her palm into her forehead.

“Don’t worry about it. Families, eh? I don’t exactly have the best relationship with mine, but that’s a long story for another time.”

Another time.

“You were about to say something before Maggie rudely interrupted us.”

Ash scratched the back of her neck. “Oh, just that I need to be heading off to get myself ready for another exciting shift. Thanks again for...” she gestured to the couch, where at some point during the Maggie whirlwind she’d folded the blanket and fixed the cushions; a small gesture that pulled a smile from Alice.

“It’s no problem. Really, thank you . You were so kind to check in on me and, you know… listen to me. I won’t forget that.”

Ash smiled. “On behalf of the NHS, you’re very welcome.” Her eyebrows drew into a frown, and she breathed in as if she was about to say something else, but instead she looked down at her stripy socks and wiggled her toes.

A moment passed before Alice spoke. “Well, I suppose I shouldn’t keep Maggie waiting.”

The words seemed to tug Ash back from whatever internal battle of indecision she was in and she moved to the front door, bending down to pull on her trainers. Alice shrugged on a coat and tapped the pocket containing her keys.

“Right then.” Ash straightened up. She stood a couple of inches taller than Alice without heels, which Alice hadn’t appreciated until now. She wondered what it would be like to be wrapped in her arms, and as if reading her thoughts, Ash stepped closer and pulled her into an embrace just like the one she’d been imagining. Ash’s strong, capable arms held her tight and, for a moment, everything else seemed insignificant.

“Things seem messy right now, but you’re going to be okay.”

Alice closed her eyes and inhaled Ash’s cedarwood scent. She hadn’t noticed it last night, but now it filled her senses.

The obnoxious blast of a car horn sounded from outside, and Ash’s arms fell away.

“Introducing my dear brother-in-law, Markus.”

Ash laughed and stepped back. “Take care of yourself,” she said, looking at Alice with the warm consideration of someone who’d known her for much longer than a couple of days.

* * *

In the back of Markus’ brand-new Range Rover, Alice chewed the inside of her lip, biting at a new blood blister until she felt the satisfying pop between her teeth. A metallic taste filled her mouth.

Clearly annoyed that his Sunday morning had been so selfishly interrupted by his irritant of a sister-in-law, Markus had grunted little more than three words to Alice since she’d slid into the backseat, and two of them were “buckle up.”

Maggie fixed her gaze out of the front passenger window and Markus cranked up the volume on Radio 5 Live — where two male commentators were enthusiastically discussing another man’s groin injury.

“Well, he should’ve been pulled off in the first half. Didn’t I say that? I don’t know why they even put the bloody idiot on.” He banged the steering wheel.

Maggie puffed out an irritated breath and flicked the radio off.

“Oi! I was listening to that.”

“I can’t hear myself think with all that jabbering nonsense and I would like to speak with my sister, please. I haven’t seen her for weeks.”

“Look, I’m really sorry to put you both out. Hopefully, it won’t take long, and you can be on your way,” said Alice, meeting Markus’s glowering eyes in the rear-view mirror.

Moody bastard.

“Why didn’t your sleepover friend offer to jump-start your car?” asked Markus.

Maggie scoffed. “They’ve only just met, so it would’ve probably been a bit of an imposition.”

Markus searched out Alice’s eyes again and waggled his eyebrows.

“Classy, Alice. One-night stand, was it?”

“Fuck off, Markus,” she muttered under her breath.

“Tinder?… or do you lesbians have your own app?”

Maggie slapped his arm. “Stop it.”

“If you must know, Ash is a friend. That’s it. We met at the hospital because I found a man in the road who needed help, so I took him to A a bit knackered and rather broken.

As she stood despairing, the reassuring weight of Maggie’s arm wrapped around her shoulder.

“C’mon, let’s go get a cuppa before we sort that out.”

“I know a place,” said Alice.

She led them to the quirky muffin café and once inside, she glanced around, a tiny bit hopeful to see Ash, but also not, given the snot-bubbling state of her... again.

There was no Ash, but the spot they’d shared yesterday by the window was free. Markus bought the drinks and delivered them to the table. Maggie offered no protest when he suggested taking his latte back to the car to listen to the rugby so they could have their ‘sisterly chat’ without him intruding. Alice studied her sister’s face, watching her as she watched her lumbering hulk of a husband retreat.

Maggie’s asymmetrical bob framed her angular features in contrast to the softer lines of Alice’s. When she and Markus had been going through their rough patch, Maggie had taken her frustrations out on her own body, hitting the gym hard and slashing her calorie intake to achieve a concerning deficit. Her ‘revenge body’, she’d called it. Skeletal is the term Alice would’ve gone for. And Mags did it all to get back at him, to show him that he’d dined out on dog meat (twice!), when there was prime rib at home. What an unbelievable arsehole he’d been.

Yet, it was Maggie who believed she’d ‘married up.’ She’d had the honour of becoming a Carter-Mills and just in time for their mum to witness before she passed away. Maggie proved to everyone that she’d made it. Despite her humble beginnings, she’d bagged a privately educated career man. Still, Alice couldn’t help thinking her sister had fallen short — in the lottery of life, Markus hadn’t exactly lucked out on looks, and his personality did little to compensate.

With a far-off look, Maggie chewed her thumbnail, which steeped Alice in guilt. She’d been so wrapped up in Fran recently, she’d neglected everything else, even her sister.

“How are things with you two?” Alice asked softly, pulling Maggie’s focus back to her.

“Oh, we’re fine. He’s just… Markus.”

Alice narrowed her eyes.

“Counselling dredges up a lot of stuff. It’s hard.” Maggie sipped her green tea. “Anyway, we’re not here to talk about me, Al.”

“I haven’t been a very good sister lately. I’m sorry… I’m going to get better at… well, at everything now. It’s spring.” Alice nodded her head and blew on the steaming mug cupped between her hands.

Maggie’s eyebrows pinched together.

“Spring, you know… the season of new beginnings.”

“Right. Okay. Well, one step at a time. Are you going to search for a new job?”

“Do you think I need to?”

Maggie glared at her with wide eyes. “Aren’t you in a bit of a compromised position?”

Alice tilted her head and Maggie leaned in, lowering her voice to a faint whisper.

“You know, the fact that you’ve just ended a relationship with the wife of your employer. Wouldn’t it be better to leave on your own terms? Avoid the risk of it all coming out and destroying your reputation?”

“I suppose, but I don’t have anything else lined up. I enjoy the work and I like Jeremy. Truscote’s okay too, as long as she keeps her nose out of my business.”

“Does Truscote know about the affair?”

Alice nodded gravely.

Maggie placed her hands flat on the rough wooden tabletop and looked Alice square in the eye.

“Al, you need to resign. Francesca Dalton is a woman scorned and she’ll lash out when she doesn’t get what she wants. If you’re serious about ending things with her, then you’re probably going to lose your job anyway.”

Alice chewed her lip, processing Maggie’s words and their implications with a slow nod.

“I’ll speak to Markus. Perhaps there are some suitable roles at his place? They’re always looking for new assistants.”

Alice scoffed. “And why do you think that is?”

Maggie stiffened. “Low blow, Alice. I’m sitting here trying to help you and, needless to say, we both showed up for you today.”

Alice raised her hands in apology.

Maggie pursed her lips and fixed her gaze out of the window.

Alice reached across to her. “Mags, I’m sorry. It just came out. I’ve never forgiven Markus for hurting you.” Alice stared up into Maggie’s face as she rubbed her sister’s palms with her thumbs.

“What about you, Alice? You’re no better, carrying on with a married woman all this time. I thought you liked Jeremy?—”

“I do like Jeremy. What I had with Fran… you make it sound like some sordid affair, but it was different. I can’t explain it.”

“It was no different. Why can’t you see that? Someone was still being cheated on. Someone was always going to get hurt.”

Alice sat back and folded her arms. “Like I said, it’s over. So, you were right. Well done, Maggie, Queen of I-Fucking-Told-You-So.”

After an impasse, the expressions of the scowling sisters softened. Maggie spoke first, leaning across the table to cup Alice’s cheek with her hand.

“Let’s not fight, Al. I hate to see you hurting.”

“Me too. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be cruel about Markus, and I am ashamed of?—”

“Shh! Don’t say it. You’ve been so brave and I’m proud of you. You’ll soon feel better about all of this.”

Alice forced a smile. “I hope so, Mags, because I can’t feel much worse.”

* * *

The knackered Fiesta roared back to life.

“Huzzah!” Markus pumped his fist in the air like it was a major triumph of the human race. He unclipped the jump leads from the battery and let the bonnet slam with a metallic thunk.

“I’ll chuck these in the back for you. You’ll need them again before I do.” Markus gestured to his shiny Range Rover. Smug prick. Then, in an almost overwhelming display of empathy (by Markus’s standards), he patted Alice roughly on the shoulder with his bear-paw-like hand and said, “Take care now, won’t you?”

Alice opened her mouth to reply, but before any words could be uttered, Markus had once again ensconced himself in his car to resume shouting at the radio.

Maggie pulled Alice into a hug.

“Plug that phone back in, Al. And call me when you’re home, okay?”

“Thanks again, Mags. For everything.”

Maggie held Alice out at arm’s length. “Come over in the week and I’ll cook. Markus will be home late on Tuesday. We’ll open a bottle and chat, or watch a film, whatever you need. Just don’t be on your own when you’re like this.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I am and it depends on whether the car is?—”

“Get an Uber.”

Alice opened her mouth to protest.

“I’ll pay.” Maggie rubbed Alice’s arms in a motion she probably intended to be soothing, but if anything, Alice felt like her fur was being rubbed the wrong way.

“Just come. Let me know how you get on at work. Make sure you get ahead of this whole thing, or it’ll blow up on you.” Maggie gripped the lapels of Alice’s coat and peered into her face. Alice squirmed under her sister’s harsh focus. There was no escaping this scrutiny.

“Okay. Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, I’ll plug my phone in, I’ll call you, I’ll quit my job, then I’ll come over and I’ll bring wine,” Alice said in one breath and bulged out her eyes.

Maggie gave a satisfied nod and released her.

“Good, see you Tuesday.” She pulled her coat around her knees as she climbed into the car, her small frame dwarfed by the colossal chassis. “Don’t bring wine, we’ve got plenty.”

“You mean, don’t bring the cheap stuff?” Alice laughed, and Maggie poked her tongue out.

“You know me too well. Love you, Al. Be good.”

Alice blew her a kiss and closed the car door. She waved them off and watched the Range Rover’s taillights glisten in the persistent drizzle.

Sat in the driver’s seat of her Ford Fiesta, the engine ticked over as Alice rested her head on the steering wheel and released a heavy breath. She should drive home, type out her resignation letter, dust off her resume and apply for some jobs. She should check her credit card balance and if the credit fairies deemed it possible, she should order a new phone and buy some groceries — healthy things like kale and chia seeds. And whilst she was at it, she’d sign up to a yoga class and work on her pelvic floor; after all, she wasn’t getting any younger.

C’mon. She lifted her head and gripped the wheel.

What she really wanted was to check on George. A flurry of cherry blossom splattered onto the wet windscreen.

No, what she really wanted was to see Ash.

Alice shook her head. Ridiculous and completely unnecessary. She met her own eyes in the rear-view mirror.

One. Ash is not interested in you.

Two. You are not actually interested in her. She was kind when you were feeling low. Don’t mistake that for anything else because it’s not. Ash isn’t your type. You like older women.

Sophisticated, powerful women with sharp edges to contrast with her own soft ones.

Like Fran.

Fucking Fran. Alice bounced her forehead on her hands.

A light tapping on the driver’s side window roused her. She turned her head to a distorted figure on the other side of the rain-spattered glass, a blur of khaki and black clothing.

“Ash?” Alice cranked down the window, bringing the doctor’s quirky grin into focus. Ash leaned her arm on the wet roof and peered down into the car.

“I’m starting to wonder whether you even know how to drive.”

Alice laughed a little too loudly; a glow seemed to radiate from inside her, which must have beamed out of her face.

“I was just sitting here having a little think. That’s not a crime, is it?”

“Depends on what you were thinking about.”

Alice grinned and words escaped her mouth before she’d had time to vet them. “Are you flirting with me, Doctor?”

Colour rushed into Ash’s cheeks, and she stepped back from the car. “No, sorry, I, er… didn’t mean to…”

Alice smiled, but disappointment zipped through her at the confirmation Ash didn’t like her like that and, worse, her flirting had made Ash uncomfortable.

“I was thinking about George, and trying to decide whether to pop in to see him. But if I cut the engine, this old girl might not get going again. Markus left the jump leads for me, but I’m not sure how to use them.”

“I do, so I can jump you.”

“There you go, flirting again.” Alice bit her lip to stifle a laugh.

Ash’s blush deepened, and she cleared her throat. “Come on, let’s go and see how our patient is doing.”

Alice didn’t need to be asked twice; groceries and yoga could wait. She twisted the key, silencing the ticking engine.

“How old are you?” The question popped from Alice’s mouth before she’d realised she’d said it aloud.

Ash laughed. “Why?”

“I just… wondered.”

“Thirty-seven. Rapidly sliding down that slippery slope to forty.”

Not that much younger. And very confident, but not in a Fran way; in a professional, assertive way. “Hmm.”

“What does ‘ hmm’ mean?” Ash stared at her, looking bemused.

Alice smiled and shook her head. “Forty-two, in case you were wondering.”

“I wasn’t, but thank you.” Ash grinned.

As they stepped over the rippling puddles of the car park towards the hospital, Alice tried and failed not to notice the flattering way Ash’s dark jeans hugged her thighs. Flicking her gaze to the large yellow sign listing the parking rates, Alice came to a stop and puffed out her cheeks. “My parking ticket is going to cost a bloody fortune.”

Ash touched her arm. “Don’t worry, I’ll speak to Pinkie. He’ll sort it out.”

“Pinkie?” Alice laughed.

“Pinkie Pete, the security guy who looks after the parking, too. I’ll tell him why you’ve been stuck in here and he’ll sort your ticket out.”

“You can do that?”

“Yeah, Pinkie owes me a favour, anyway. I saved his little finger.”

Alice blinked at Ash, who was grinning and looking proud of herself. “You what?”

“He had a bit of an accident with a mitre saw.”

Alice grimaced, and Ash’s eyes widened in relish.

“He came into A&E as white as a ghost, slipped his detached digit — sealed in a freezer bag — onto the check-in desk and then passed out. By the time he came around, I’d stitched it back on and you’d hardly even know.” Ash wiggled her little finger in the air.

“Well, there are two things I have to say about that: ew , but also wow .”

A blast of warm air and noise hit them as they stepped through the sliding doors into the entrance of A&E. A hive of activity buzzed in the strip-lit waiting room. Alice surveyed the throng of people in their various states of triage and regretted her decision not to go kale shopping, but Ash took her arm and steered her over to a quiet corner.

“Wait here for a minute. I’ll find out where they’ve sent George.”

Alice’s eyes followed Ash as she wove through the melee with the confidence of someone who’d done it a thousand times before. The sharp smell of disinfectant stung Alice’s nostrils. She could’ve been sniffing sandalwood and doing a sun salutation, but no — she stood, trying to remind herself why she was here.

Ash returned a few minutes later and guided Alice through double swing doors into an empty corridor. Their shoes echoed a symphony of squeaks off the bare walls as they paced towards an elevator bank. Ash pressed the ‘up’ button and a red light illuminated around it. She made wide eyes at Alice.

“Looks like it’s going to be a busy shift tonight.”

“I don’t know how you do it.”

Ash shrugged. “I don’t suppose it’s for everyone, but I knew what I was getting myself into. I love the thrill of it. It’s totally unpredictable, from sewing a finger back on to literally saving a life. Just helping people and making a difference gives me such a rush.”

“I could think of better ways to get a rush.” Alice raised her eyebrows, then internally kicked herself for flirting again, but this time, instead of being abashed, Ash’s lips quirked into her signature grin. They locked eyes for a moment until a thought seemed to snap Ash’s attention away and she tapped the pockets of her parka.

“Oh, talking of helping people…” Ash unzipped the left pocket and pulled out a mobile phone, which she held out to Alice. “You lost your phone, and this is an old one I had in a drawer at home. You’ll need to pick up a SIM card, but I thought it might do you for now, until you get sorted.”

Alice stared at the device in Ash’s hand, lost for words… for once.

“Shit. I’ve overstepped, haven’t I?”

“No, it’s just?—”

Ash’s eyes popped. “Oh God, Fran and the tracking?”

Alice nodded. “Yeah, she bought me my last phone and set it all up. I guess that’s how she...”

“Alice, I wouldn’t do that. I’m not a creep… I mean, it isn’t a normal thing to do, is it? It’s been factory reset, look.” Ash held up the device with its screen looping on the set-up instructions.

“You’re being so kind to me, and you don’t even know me. And what you do know doesn’t exactly give the best impression.” Alice bowed her head.

Ash stepped closer and puffed out a breath. “What I know is that you stopped to help someone else when you were in distress yourself. And I know that you’re coming out of a difficult… complicated relationship, and you’re being really brave about it. You’re doing your best, Alice.”

Ash’s words pulled a smile from her.

“Well, if you don’t mind me borrowing your old phone, it’d really help me out.”

As she took the phone from Ash’s proffered hand, their fingers brushed, and a giddying fizz of excitement bubbled through Alice. Did Ash feel that too?

Alice looked up and met the captivating depth of Ash’s dark brown eyes, noticing for the first time the amber flecks in her irises.

Ash licked her lips and spoke in an almost-whisper. “Alice, I?—”

The elevator clunked onto their floor, and with a ding , the metal doors rolled open.

“Finally,” Ash said, stepping into the bright metal box, leaving Alice wondering what she’d been about to say for the second time in a day.