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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: FATHER DAUGHTER BOND

STACEY

Work is beyond busy throughout the next week. We’re in the thick of it now with a full game schedule on top of practices, which means minor injuries, old injuries causing new problems, stiff muscles, and sore joints. I haven’t been able to see much of Owen since our night together as a result of my packed workload. It also doesn’t help that Lilah has been busy with a college group project all this week. I’ve had to leave work early every day in order to pick Millie up from school.

Owen’s been busy too, of course. Conditioning, practice, and a demanding game schedule has been sucking up all his time. He’s also been working on securing permanent residency so he can play in the States without the need to constantly reapply for a work visa. We see each other around the stadium. I’ll sneak out to watch some of the practices, or he’ll come in for PT, though I’m not always his therapist since we’re so busy with other players.

He’s been making sure I know he’s thinking about me, though. Every night he texts me and his messages are pretty… explicit.

Owen: I can’t stop thinking about that pretty pussy of yours and how sweet it tastes.

Owen: Next time, I’m going to tie you down and spank that plump ass until it’s red and raw.

Owen: You’re all I can think about when I jerk my cock. I think I’m addicted to you, baby.

Owen: I didn’t know polo shirts could be sexy, but the way you wear them makes me so hard.

I’m often left hot and bothered by his texts, and more than once I’ve fingered myself while lying in bed as I’ve reread his dirty words. It only relieves the pressure for a little while, though, and isn’t nearly as satisfying as having his hands on me. Owen’s messages and my growing neediness is making it hard to think logically about my situation with him. I’m still struggling to decide whether to tell him the truth about Millie or not.

Part of me knows it’s the right thing to do. That Millie deserves to know her father, and that Owen deserves a chance to be a father to her. The other part of me is terrified — terrified of his family in Canada. Terrified of the trust that is still so tentative. Terrified of the heartbreak it could cause Millie if things don’t work out.

I need advice. I need someone who’s been there since the beginning and knows exactly what I went through raising Millie by myself.

On Friday, I’m able to leave work earlier than usual, so I decide to visit my Gram before I have to pick Millie up from school. I’m going to tell her what’s going on with Owen, even though it’s not going to be easy. I don’t know if Gram is going to approve of the two of us being… intimate.

Still, she’s the one person I can turn to in order to get some perspective right now.

Arriving at the facility, I check in and make my way to Gram’s room. Her door is open and she’s sitting in her rocking chair by the window, just like when I brought Millie to visit her before.

I knock on the door. She looks up from her current knitting project and her softly lined face lights up when she spots me. Setting down her needles, Gram pushes to her feet. She’s wearing an adorable knit sweater with a black and white cat on the front, and her gray hair is pulled back into a neat bun.

“Oh, Stacey! Hello dear. What a pleasant surprise! Come in, come in!”

Smiling, I step into the room and give her a tight hug.

“Hey, Gram,” I say. “Sorry for coming by unannounced.”

“No need to apologize,” she assures me, lowering herself back into her chair. “I’m always happy to see you. No Millie today?”

I shake my head as I sit on the footrest to her rocking chair, clasping my hands in my lap.

Gazing up at her, I say, “Millie’s still in school. I wanted to visit you alone… I need to talk to you.”

Gram frowns, her eyes flashing with concern. “What is it, dear? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I sigh. “Mostly. I told you before that I ran into Owen, right? He’s playing for the Night Hawks now.”

Gram nods. “Yes, I remember. How has that been going?”

“It’s… complicated,” I admit. “Owen and I have been spending time together, and… and he doesn’t know about Millie. He never did, apparently.”

Gram’s eyes go wide. “What? How do you know that? You said you left him a voicemail when you first found out you were pregnant.”

“I don’t think he got the message. I’m not sure… maybe his phone wasn’t working or something? I remember no one could get a hold of him the day he left. All I know is that he’s interacted with Millie a few times now, and he’s never brought up the possibility of being her father. It’s not even crossing his mind as a possibility. It doesn’t seem like he knew she existed in the first place.”

“My, my,” Gram murmurs, shaking her head in shock. “That changes things, doesn’t it?”

“Does it?” I drop my head in my hands and groan. “He still left. He still sent that letter to me. Does not knowing about Millie really make that much of a difference?”

Gram reaches out and grabs one of my hands, gently pulling it from my face.

“It does,” she insists. “You know it does. You need to talk to him, Stacey. Tell him that Millie is his daughter. It’s the right thing to do.”

Tears form in the corners of my eyes as I gaze up at her. She’s right. Of course she’s right. That doesn’t make what I have to do any easier.

“I know,” I whisper. “I know, I need to tell him.”

She nods. “And might I advise doing it before your mother stops by to see you? If she finds out about Owen and confronts him before you tell him, it could be a disaster.”

Ugh…I’d almost forgotten about my mom being in town. I still haven’t reached back out to tell her when she can come visit Millie. Honestly, I’d been trying to repress it. She hasn’t called again either, and I assume she’s having too good of a time with her new boytoy. I know if she gets the chance, though, she’ll rip Owen a new one, and it won’t matter to her whether he knew about Millie or not.

“God, she’s going to think I’m pathetic for getting close to Owen again,” I mumble.

Gram waves her hands dismissively. “It doesn’t matter what Laura thinks. It’s your life, Stacey, and you can live it however you want. Your mother will cause trouble if she’s given the chance, though, so it’s best that you get ahead of that possibility while you still can.”

“I will. I promise.” Catching sight of the alarm clock next to Gram’s bed, I let out a short gasp. “Oh! I’ve got to go. Millie has her ice skating performance tonight and I need to pick her up and take her to the rink to get ready.”

“I’ll come with you,” Gram says, her smile widening again.

“You will?” I ask, delighted. “Gram, Millie will be so excited! But I thought you had Bingo tonight and were going to wait and go to the regional show next month with me, Grace, and Skyler? This one is just a local show, so there won’t be too many performances.”

Gram rolls her eyes. “Don’t even get me started on the Bingo drama, Stacey. There are some old biddies around here who don’t know how to have fun and try to ruin the good times for the rest of us. They can handle themselves without me. I want to see Millie skate.”

I laugh, not bothering to ask more about whatever drama is going on with Bingo. I’m just thrilled she’s going to come to the performance. Millie has been wanting to show off her new skills to Gram for weeks.

“Okay,” I say. “Let’s get going then.”

Gram grins and pushes to her feet. “Lead the way, my dear.”

When Gram, Millie, and I arrive at the skating rink, it’s already busy with other kids getting ready for the performance and parents, friends, and families filling the stands. As I scan the arena, my gaze lands on Owen sitting in the front row of the stands, next to a couple empty seats. I freeze and my heart starts to race. God, he looks so good. His hair is a little more mussed than usual, and a few strands fall across his forehead. He’s wearing a Night Hawks pullover and dark blue jeans. Heat pools between my legs. I lose my breath for a moment before I’m able to pull myself together again. He waves at us with a wide smile.

“Owen!” Millie exclaims, rushing over to him. She jumps into his arms and gives him a tight hug.

“Hey, kiddo,” he says, squeezing her back before lowering her back to the floor.

Gram and I walk up behind Millie and I can’t stop staring at him, stunned.

“What are you doing here?” I ask.

His smile softens as he looks up at me. “I made a promise to Millie that I’d come.”

My heart seizes and it’s suddenly difficult to breathe, even as warmth floods me. Oh, right…I do remember him saying that. I didn’t actually think he’d show up, though.

“Why didn’t you say anything about coming?” The corners of my mouth twitch into a grin. “And how’d you know where the rink is?”

He chuckles and shrugs. “I wanted to surprise my girls, so I asked Grace.”

His girls? Something inside me melts at those words and my knees go a little weak. Jesus, this man is driving me crazy.

Along with the rush of delight, though, is more guilt. He’s acting like we’re his, but he doesn’t know the full truth.

I can’t keep doing this. I have to tell him.

Millie is practically bouncing up and down in her excitement.

“Now you can watch the experts skate,” she boasts to Owen, giving him a cocky grin. Her blue eyes sparkle, and the strands of curls — just a few, which broke free from her tight bun — bounce up and down every time she does. She looks so adorable in her sparkly pink leotard and skirt, I just want to scoop her up into a bear hug and kiss her cheeks until she’s squealing with laughter.

“You go out there and show me how it’s done,” he tells her.

“Millie!” her skating instructor suddenly calls. “Come on over here, honey. You need to get ready.”

Millie turns to try and rush away, though it’s difficult since she’s wearing her skates with skate guards on. She gives us a wave before joining the other kids at the edge of the rink.

Once Millie is with her friends, Owen turns to Gram and offers her a charming smile. “You must be Stacey’s grandmother. I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you, ma’am. It’s good to meet you. I’m…”

“Owen Scott,” Gram replies with a knowing grin. “Trust me, I’ve heard plenty about you, young man.”

Owen chuckles, his cheeks going slightly pink. “Hopefully it’s mostly good things you’ve heard.”

“It’s definitely been interesting.”

I hold back my amusement at the baffled look on Owen’s face. He lets out a bashful laugh.

“Let me help you to your seat,” he says, offering Gram his hand.

“Thank you,” she replies brightly.

He helps Gram into the empty seat at the end of the row, and then I take the one next to her and Owen sits on my other side.

“Hey,” he says softly, grinning at me.

“Hey,” I murmur, blushing.

“It’s so nice of you to come for Millie,” Gram suddenly says, leaning over me to look up at Owen.

“I wouldn’t miss it,” he replies. “She’s a cool kid.”

Gram glances up at me with an arched brown and a little grin before resting back in her seat. I bite back a groan.

This is going to be a long evening.

A few minutes later, the performance begins. The kids skate out onto the ice and begin their routine. Millie is front and center, beaming as she performs the moves confidently, if not always perfectly, but she’s one of the strongest skaters in the group. She hits her toe jumps and crossovers with no issues, and skates backwards at one point with a big smile on her face. Then, she and a few of the other kids, who are a little more advanced in skill, perform a series of small jumps. Cheery, fast-paced music plays as they all skate together, having a wonderful time.

I’m painfully aware of Owen sitting next to me throughout the show. As hard as I try to focus on watching the kids, his heat seems to wrap around me, and his spicy scent tickles my nose. My blood heats and my stomach clenches with need. I want to reach out and touch him — even just to simply take his hand — but I don’t. Instead, I curl my hands into fists and keep them firmly in my lap.

That doesn’t stop him from touching me, though. The feel of his thigh close to mine is almost too much to bear. An innocent brush of his arm against my own. Not on purpose…I don’t think. But as he leans over me to say something to Gram — putting his face so close to mine, I could just lean forward an inch and kiss his cheek — I can’t take it anymore.

This is torture.

When the show finally ends, I’m tense as can be. My mind can barely focus as I try not to think of Owen’s hands on me, even as we all stand up, clap, and cheer. This is a family-friendly event, and yet my mind is firmly in the gutter.

“That was wonderful,” Gram says as we stand up.

“Yeah it was,” I agree. Owen bends down and grabs something from under his seat. My jaw drops when he pulls out a teddy bear dressed as a figure skater.

“Did…did you get that for Millie?” I ask, though I know it’s a stupid question. He obviously got it for her.

He gives me a sheepish grin. “Yeah, I did. It’s not too much, is it?”

I slowly shake my head. “No…no, it’s not too much. She’ll love it.”

We make our way out of the stands and Millie comes rushing up to us. Her face is flushed and her hair frizzy, but her eyes are bright with adrenaline as she continues to ride the high of the performance.

“Did you see me?” she asks breathlessly, rushing straight to Owen. “Did you see me, Owen?”

Chuckling, Owen nods and picks her up, giving her another tight hug. “You did an amazing job, kiddo. You really are a pro skater. Here, I got you something for doing so good.”

He gives her the bear and she gasps in delight.

“It’s so cute!” she exclaims. “Take a picture, Owen! You, me, and teddy!”

Laughing, Owen pulls out his phone and Millie squishes her face against his, holding her teddy bear tight to her chest as he snaps a picture of them.

Her smile is big and toothy as she turns to look at me once they’re done.

“Look what Owen got me!”

I grin. “I know, sweetie. Don’t forget to say thank you.”

She turns her face back up to Owen. “Thank you!” Then, looking back at me. “Did you like it, Mommy? Did I do good?”

“Of course I did,” I assure her. “You were fantastic!”

“Absolutely stunning,” Gram adds.

Millie wiggles until Owen puts her down and then quickly moves forward to hug Gram. “Thank you for coming!”

“You’re welcome, sweetie,” Gram replies.

Jumping back, Millie turns her gaze back up to me. “Can we get ice cream?”

I hesitate, glancing at Gram. I can tell she’s tired. Her eyes are heavy and there’s a slight slump in her shoulders.

Looking back down at Millie, I say, “sweetie, we should get Gram home…”

“Please!” Millie begs, clasping her hands together. “Please, please, please can we get ice cream?”

I would honestly love to take her for ice cream. She deserves a treat after doing so well at the show. However, I don’t want to drag Gram around and wear her out. I’m torn between caring for Gram and disappointing Millie.

“Why don’t I take Millie to the store to get stuff for ice cream sundaes?” Owen suddenly offers. “You can take your grandmother home and then meet us back at your place.”

The offer catches me off-guard and I don’t respond for several seconds. In that time, Millie jumps up and down, clapping her hands together in excitement.

“Can we, Mommy?” she asks. “Can Owen and I go to the store?”

I hesitate a moment longer before slowly nodding, “O…okay. That sounds like a good idea.”

“Yay!” Millie cries, grabbing Owen’s hand. “Come on! Let’s go!”

“Hey, hold on a sec,” he tells her. “We need to get your skates off.”

He sits her down on a nearby bench before kneeling in front of her and unlacing her skates. He’s so careful and gentle as he pulls them off her feet. It’s so fucking adorable, I can hardly take it. I quickly dig her shoes out of her bag and hand them to him. He helps her put them on and ties them for her. When he stands back up, she immediately grabs his hand and pulls him toward the exit.

He shoots me an amused grin, and lets her drag him outside, her teddy now permanently clutched in her other hand. Gram and I follow behind. In the parking lot, we move Millie’s booster seat from my car to Owen’s and once I get Millie buckled up, I give her a kiss on the forehead.

“You be good for Owen, okay?” I tell her.

She nods. “I will, Mommy!”

Stepping back, I shut the car door and turn to Owen, handing him my house key. He takes the keys from my hand, and when he smiles, I smile back at him. I’m suddenly realizing just how much I truly do trust Owen. I trust him implicitly. I know he’ll take care of her.

“Here,” I say. “Let yourself in and I’ll be there soon.”

“All right,” he nods. “Don’t worry. Millie and I’ll be just fine. I promise you won’t come home to a chocolate-covered kitchen.”

I laugh nervously. “I’d appreciate that, thanks.”

I stand back and watch as he gets into the front seat of his car and drives off. Then, I get in my own car. Gram is already inside, buckled and ready to go.

As I pull out of the parking lot, she looks at me in concern., “Are you okay, sweetie?”

That’s a difficult question to answer. I’m a nervous wreck, but mostly because I know I have to tell him the truth…tonight.. He’s starting to grow attached to Millie, and she to him. The longer I don’t tell him the truth, the more potential there is that this could damage their relationship.

And… I don’t want him to hate me.

“I’m fine, Gram,” I say. “You saw how good he is with her.”

“Yes, yes, I certainly did.”

She doesn’t say anything else the rest of the drive. When I park in front of the assisted living facility, she reaches over and gives my hand a squeeze. I turn to meet her gaze.

“You need to tell him,” she says in a gentle tone. “It’s clear, whether he knows it or not, that the bond between father and daughter is strong. He cares for Millie a great deal. He won’t do anything to hurt her, and he most definitely won’t leave her. In fact, I think it would be so good for Millie to have him in her life. To have a father to love and protect her. You know what it’s like to grow up without a father…do you really want the same for Millie?”

I swallow, my emotions swelling up within me and tears forming in my eyes. Quickly blinking them away, I let out a soft sigh.

“I’ll try,” I tell her, unwilling to make a promise to Gram that I’m not sure I can keep.

“Okay,” she says. “It’ll be all right, sweetie. You just need to have a little faith.”

Giving my hand one more squeeze, she gets out of the car and heads into her assisted living community building. I watch her go, my heart hammering in my chest. Once she’s inside, I pull away from the building to head home. I’m anxious about what’s waiting for me when I get there.

After tonight, everything is going to change.

I only hope it’s for the better.