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CHAPTER TWELVE: THE LETTER

STACEY

“Mommy, I don’t want to go to bed! I want to stay up with you guys!”

I sigh and grin, shaking my head as I gaze down at Millie. She’s dressed for bed in her Bluey footie pajamas, clutching her favorite teddy bear and looking up at me defiantly.

“Millie, I’ve already let you stay up an hour past your bedtime,” I tell her firmly. “You know you’re going to be grumpy in the morning if you stay up any later.”

“I won’t!” she insists. “I promise!”

“Millie, I’m not going to argue with you. It’s time for bed, but if you go up right now, Skyler and Grace will help tuck you in.”

Still looking as though she wants to argue, Millie glances over to Skyler and Grace, who are sitting on the couch watching our exchange with amused expressions.

At length, Millie looks back at me and grumbles, “Okay.”

It’s Friday evening, and Grace and Skyler are over for a girl’s night. After a long, confusing week, I need to unwind and just relax. The first part of our night has been PG-rated for Millie’s sake, with pizza and a Disney movie. Now it’s time for the little one to go to bed so the big girls can have some adult time… and so I can possibly tell Grace and Skyler about my kiss with Owen.

“Come on, kiddo!” Grace exclaims, hopping to her feet. “I’ll race you upstairs.”

Millie grins and nods, always willing to participate in a race, whether it’s on the ice or not. She and Grace take off to go upstairs and I follow after them with Skyler beside me.

We all crowd into Millie’s room as she climbs into her bed. I pull the blankets up to her chin and kiss her forehead.

“Good night, baby,” I say.

“Night, Mommy.”

Grace tweaks Millie’s nose. “Sleep tight, sweetie.”

Skyler swoops in and blows a raspberry on Millie’s cheek, making her giggle.

“Sweet dreams, Squirt.”

“Good night, Aunt Skyler. Aunt Grace.”

“We love you,” I tell her and she gives me a sleepy grin.

“I love you too, Mommy.”

I turn off her bedroom light and the three of us make our way back downstairs. As Skyler and Grace settle back in the living room, I pop into the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine and three glasses.

“Woohoo!” I declare as I come into the living room. “Big girl time!”

Grace and Skyler pump their fists and quietly cheer. I laugh and open the bottle to pour us each a glass, then I settle into the cushioned chair next to the couch.

Grace tilts her head as she gazes at me, “How are you doing, Stace?”

I know she’s not just asking me about my general wellbeing. Immediately, my mind goes back to the kiss. I’ve been able to think of little else since. It was just so… hot. I get tingles whenever I remember the way his lips moved over mine and the feel of his hands holding onto me. His big, strong, warm hands…

Releasing a sigh, I say, “I’m fine, just… confused.”

Skyler arches her brow and looks between the two of us. “Confused about what?”

I hesitate and share a look with Grace. Skyler doesn’t know that Owen is Millie’s father. I haven’t told anyone other than Grace, Grandma, and my Mom. I haven’t told a soul about the kiss. I’ve debated telling Grace since it happened—getting some advice about what I should do—but I haven’t had the courage to do so. What if she tells me I’m foolish for even letting it happen? Remind me of how badly he hurt me and how much of a mess I was?

Still, if I can’t talk to my friends about this, how am I going to figure out what I’m supposed to do? I’m too wrapped up in it all—too wrapped up in him. I need a new perspective.

“It’s okay,” Grace says, as if she can read my mind. “You should tell her. You know you can trust her.”

She’s right. I know she’s right. Sucking in a deep breath, I nod and turn to Skyler.

“I need you to swear that you won’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you. You can’t even tell Carson.”

Skyler raises her brows in surprise and looks to Grace, who gives her an encouraging nod.

“Okay,” Skyler says, meeting my gaze. “I promise.”

I believe her, but I still hesitate. I’ve guarded this secret for so long. The words are hard to summon up.

“Okay,” I finally murmur. “Here’s the thing… Owen, um… well, he’s Millie’s father.”

Skyler’s jaw drops and her eyes go wide behind her glasses.

“What the fuck?” she exclaims. Grace and I quickly shush her. The last thing I need is Millie waking up and wandering down into this conversation. “Sorry,” she whispers. “But… what?!”

“I found out I was pregnant right before Owen left for Canada. The night before he left, actually. I tried to tell him - left him a voice message and went to his house and he was just…gone. Then I left Wisconsin and came here to Denver to have Millie before anyone else knew I was expecting. I thought Owen knew about her and was just running away from us, but now…” I think about his reaction when the other guys told him Millie was mine. How shocked he seemed. “I don’t think he actually knew I was pregnant.”

“What?” Grace gasps. “But I was there when you left him the voicemail.”

“What if he never heard it?” I reply. “A lot was going on. Maybe the message didn’t save, or he changed his number without ever listening to it. I’m telling you, Grace, when he found out about Millie the other day, he did not act like he had any idea she existed at all.”

Grace looks stunned, which is totally understandable.

“Holy shit,” she murmurs.

I nod. “Yeah, holy shit. I’ve thought about trying to talk to Owen about Millie, but I’m scared. I’ve researched his stepfather and the Weston family, and they’re powerful with lots of money. He or his family could easily take her from me if they demanded custody, and I don’t have the resources to fight him, nor the financial means to move to Canada.”

Skyler stares at me, stunned. When she doesn’t say anything for several moments, I start to worry that this is going to prove too much for her. That she won’t be able to keep this secret after all.

Finally, she releases a long breath and says, “Holy shit… that’s… a lot, Stace.”

“And that’s not all.” I take a deep breath before admitting, “We, uh, kind of… kissed.”

“What?” Grace and Skyler exclaim nearly in sync.

“When?” Grace asks.

“Where?” Skyler adds.

“It was in the PT room, after he hurt his shoulder at practice today,” I tell them.

“And you’re only now telling me?” Grace asks. “Stacey, this is a big deal.”

“Is it?” I’m feeling suddenly uncertain if telling them was such a good idea. “I mean… does it have to be? It was just a kiss.”

“With your first love,” Grace points out. “Who’s also your baby daddy. Who also abandoned you to go to another country.”

“Okay… point taken.”

“How was it?” Skyler asks, her eyes wide, her expression eager.

I pause, not wanting to admit just how incredible it was. I could easily use the excuse that it’s just been awhile since I’ve been kissed, so that’s why it was so good. Since having Millie, I haven’t had much of a dating life to speak of. I tried a few blind dates, but never clicked with anyone, so I decided to focus on being a mom instead of finding a man.

A viable excuse, really, but I know that’s not why Owen’s kiss felt so good.

I hesitate before admitting, “It was… it was fucking fantastic, okay? The best kiss I’ve had in years, but that’s not the point! I need to figure out what I’m going to do. I can’t just forgive him for what he did to me, can I? And what if he and his family decide they do want to take Millie? What am I supposed to do then?”

Skyler shakes her head in disagreement. “I don’t think Owen would take Millie from you, but why did you think it was over when he left for Canada? You guys dated for over two years in highschool and were inseparable. No one even considered things wouldn’t work out. People have long-distance relationships all the time.”

A reasonable question, but probably the hardest one for me to answer.

“He… he sent me a letter, made it pretty clear what he wanted.”

Skyler doesn’t look convinced. “What did the letter say? I mean, Carson told me that Owen didn’t plan on leaving. The move was a total shock to him, just like it was to everyone else. I don’t think he actually wanted to go, so I can’t imagine he actually wanted to end things with you.”

I set my wine down and push to my feet. Crossing the living room to a display cabinet on the other side of the room, I open one of the bottom drawers and pull out a wrinkled envelope that I have hidden at the bottom, under placemats and tablecloths. Returning to my chair, I hand the envelope to Skyler.

“See for yourself,” I whisper.

Skyler stares at the envelope in shock before reaching out and taking it. I lean back in my chair and watch as she opens it and unfolds the piece of paper inside. She begins to read, and in my head, I go through the letter, line-by-line, because I’ve read it so many times over the years that I have it memorized.

Stacey,

I’ve moved with my family to Canada. My mom and Gerald are getting married. He wants to be closer to his family and their businesses. He’s promised to enroll me into a school with one of the top hockey programs in the whole country and to support my dream to play professionally. It’s an opportunity I couldn’t have gotten in Wisconsin, and I can’t waste this chance.

I’m writing to let you know that it’s over between us. I need to focus on my future and while what we had was a fun distraction, it was never anything serious. If I’m going to be a success, I can’t be held back by a fling I got into because I was bored living in a small town. Don’t try to contact me. I won’t respond. It’s better for us to both move on.

Owen

When Skyler finishes the letter, she looks up at me, pale with shock. Grace, who was reading the letter over Skyler’s shoulder, frowns.

“Wow,” Grace mutters. “I didn’t realize how bad this letter really was. You never showed it to me before.”

I shrug. “It’s humiliating.”

“I’m so sorry, Stace,” Skyler says, shaking her head. “This is just… cruel.”

When I first received that letter, it had felt as though my heart had been ripped out of my chest and stomped on. I haven’t experienced anything so painful since, with the exception of literal childbirth.

“This is terrible,” Grace agrees. “But… I can’t believe I’m saying this, but he wrote this years ago. Maybe there’s some other reason behind the letter. Like maybe he felt pressure from his family, or he thought breaking it off like this would be easier for you. We were so young and stupid back then. I’m not making excuses for him—he’s still an asshole for writing this. But there might be something here you don’t know about.”

I arch an incredulous brow at her. “Do you honestly think that?”

“I don’t know.” She sighs. “Look, I know how detrimental it can be to make assumptions about people and jump to conclusions without really understanding someone’s state of mind. Trust me, I’ve made the mistake myself countless times and it almost cost me Jensen. Something about this letter doesn’t line up. It doesn’t sound like Owen, and he was never this mean. I think you should at least talk to him and make him explain himself.”

“Why should I give him that chance?” I ask stubbornly.

“Because Millie deserves to know her father,” Grace says in a patient tone. “And you deserve clarity and some actual closure, not… this.”

“Agreed,” Skyler nods. “And this bullshit doesn’t sound like the Owen I remember. Something’s up here.”

Feeling a little defensive, I ask, “And what do you remember about him?”

She sighs and gives me a soft smile. “I remember how you two couldn’t keep your hands off each other. Honestly, I’m not surprised he knocked you up. You were sluts for each other.”

I roll my eyes, but she’s not wrong. Images pop into my head from my encounter with Owen in the PT exam room, and how easily I fell back into old habits with him. Fell back into that old desire… it had felt so much more intense than I remembered. My cheeks heat at the thought and I grow flustered, shaking my head and dropping my gaze.

When I look back up at Skyler and Grace, they’re exchanging a look between them, as if they can read my mind, but neither comment on it.

I slump back in my chair. “Look, I know I have to talk to Owen. Especially because my mom is apparently in town and I’m terrified she’ll somehow find out he’s here and confront him herself. I won’t be able to stop her or the disaster that is sure to follow.”

“Oh, shit,” Skyler whistles. “That’s messy.”

“You definitely need to talk to Owen before your mom gets a hold of him,” Grace says with a wince. She knows how much of a wildcard my mom can be.

My phone suddenly buzzes and I pull it out of my pocket. It’s a Google news alert. Since Owen came to Denver, I set it to notify me whenever it comes across a news story about the Westons. There’s an article from the Vancouver Star, and the headline makes my stomach drop.

WESTON EMPIRE LOOKING TO SECURE IT’S FUTURE

CEO Henry Weston discusses the Weston legacy as they look to future generations of the family to carry it on.

“Oh, my God!” I gasp. “Look at this.”

I give my phone over to Grace and she and Skyler read the headline for themselves.

“This… this might not mean anything,” Grace shrugs, though she doesn’t sound all that confident. “Rich families like this are always talking legacy and keeping the line going in the future.”

“Yeah, but Millie is part of that line. According to that article, the public doesn’t believe the Westons will have any more heirs after Owen’s generation. If they’re so concerned about future generations, and they find out about her, they might decide that Millie needs to be closer to them so they can, I don’t know, mold her into an heir or some shit like that.”

Skyler and Grace exchange a wary glance.

“What’s so bad about that?” Skyler asks.

“I don’t want Millie to be put under that kind of pressure. She’d have to follow their rules and meet their expectations. She’s such a creative, curious, energetic child, and I’m afraid they’d try to diminish all that. Having money might make some things in life easier, but I think a lot of the responsibilities that come with it are more a burden than a gift. I don’t want Millie to have to go through any of that.”

“Okay, so that might be a legitimate concern,” Skyler says. “But you shouldn’t stress about it now, when you’re not sure something like that is actually going to happen.”

I release a long breath and murmur, “Yeah… you’re probably right. It’s just so hard…”

At that moment, movement out of the corner of my eye catches my attention and look to find Millie shuffling into the room. She’s rubbing her eye and clutching her bear. My heart drops. For a second, I’m terrified she overheard us.

“Mommy, my nose is stuffy,” she murmurs. “I can’t sleep.”

I hurry over to her.

“It’s okay, sweetie,” I say, pressing my hand to her forehead to see if she has a fever. “Let’s get you back up to bed.”

Grace and Skyler give Millie a hug. They leave soon afterward, and once they’re gone, I take Millie’s hand and lead her back up to her room. Tucking her back into bed, I grab one of her fairytale books and snuggle in next to her to read her a story. I keep a close eye on her, noting when she sniffles and how red her nose is getting. Is she getting sick? God, I hope not. I can’t stand to see my little girl suffering at all.

When I finish the story, she curls into my side and puts her head on my chest.

“Mommy, do you think the prince in my story looks like Owen?”

The question catches me totally off guard. “Wha-what do you mean, baby?”

“They both have blue eyes and yellow hair.”

“Lots of people have blue eyes and yellow hair,” I say. “It doesn’t mean they look alike.”

Her eyelids are fluttering shut, but I can tell she’s fighting not to fall asleep yet.

“I really like him,” she mumbles. “I had a lot of fun skating with him. I think he’s my favorite player on the team. When do I get to see him again?”

My heart aches and guilt swirls through me as she speaks. Skyler and Grace are right. I need to talk to Owen.

“I don’t know, baby.” I hug her close. “Hopefully soon.”