Page 37 of Puck My Stepbrother (Pucked and Possessed #2)

QUINN

I didn’t mean to be so difficult with Levi.

I really didn’t. It was just that so much had happened in under twenty-four hours that I couldn’t process it all.

One minute, I was waiting for Jeff, and then we broke up.

And when Levi and I started screwing around in the church basement, I knew I couldn’t be with anyone else.

But that dance outside the reception hall struck me harder than anything, bringing everything home.

Levi loved me. Like, he for real loved me.

Before, I’d thought he was infatuated at best. No, worse, I thought he was the horniest person on Earth, and masquerading as someone capable of being in love with another human being.

When he told me he loved me the first time, I didn’t believe him, for good reason.

Guys like Levi will do and say anything to get in your pants.

Love is just another four-letter word. Given everything I’d been through with Levi in school, caution seemed like the safest bet.

No, wait, that’s not right. Avoidance seemed like the safest bet, only Levi had worn me down to the point where I could no longer avoid him.

He’d hooked me. And then I gave away parts of myself, piece by piece, until my willpower hung by a thread.

I’d been hurt once and couldn’t risk facing another round of pain. But something about what’d happened between Levi and me felt so right. I couldn’t deny that, even if the risk felt huge.

Dad and my new stepmom took Levi and me out to breakfast at a local place called Sophia’s the next morning.

Obviously, Levi and I said nothing at the table about what’d gone down between us the day before, but we couldn’t keep our eyes off one another.

By now, I could practically read Levi’s thoughts, and understood he could do likewise.

Dad and my stepmom did all the talking at breakfast, and I barely heard a word they said.

I lost myself in Levi’s eyes, knowing that I couldn’t avoid talking to him about us much longer.

I tossed various ideas about how to make things work back and forth in my mind, insisting that I hadn’t latched onto a pipe dream.

After a few days, the wedding excitement finally died down, but that didn’t signal a return to normal life.

That wouldn’t come for a while, I understood.

Dad announced that he and my stepmom would be going to Boston for a honeymoon, since he and my mom had never had one.

Levi told them to go to a Bruins game. I told them to visit Cheers, the Public Garden, and the Museum of Fine Arts.

Their honeymoon would leave Levi and me alone in the house for five whole days. What could possibly go wrong?

But I didn’t dread the idea. Not at all. I didn’t want my stepbrother to disappear from my life. Part of me genuinely wanted to be with him and do anything necessary to make that happen. Another part of me threw up roadblocks, and I didn’t know what to do about it.

On our first morning alone, I was sitting in the kitchen and eating a bowl of Cheerio’s, when Levi strolled into the room.

He greeted me with that magical Levi Dunn smile that could melt my heart.

Yes, it’s true, even assholes could light up any room they entered.

Then he cooked up some eggs with toast and orange juice before joining me at the table.

We ate in silence until we finished. Neither of us wanted to leave the table, opting to lounge in our seats and enjoy one another’s company.

Finally, I broke the silence by saying, “I’m sorry about the other night.”

“Which night?”

“The wedding night, Levi. Don’t you remember?”

He pushed his knife and fork to the middle of his empty plate and then swished around the dregs of juice at the bottom of his glass. Then he leaned back like the subject didn’t stress him out at all. Of course, he knew what I meant. It was all part of the game guys like him loved playing.

“It was a good time, wasn’t it?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah, it definitely was. I liked the part where we danced outside all by ourselves the most.”

When he smiled, I knew I’d found my opening.

“I really appreciated what you said,” I told him.

“I meant it.”

“I know you did. And I just wish I could say it back.”

“Of course you can say it. There’s nothing stopping you. All you have to do is say three little words.”

“But it’s not as easy as just saying the words, don’t you get it? I know what I feel, but something’s stopping me from actually saying it.”

He rose from the table, and I joined him. I could never get enough of the way he towered over me. When he opened his arms, I shuffled up to him and he closed his arms around me. Resting my head on his chest reminded me of dancing outside the reception hall with him.

I had a do-over. I couldn’t screw this up.

“Tell me you love me,” he said.

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. All you have to do is let go. Just let go.”

My mind felt so cluttered that letting go felt impossible.

And then I pursed my lips, drew a deep breath through my nose, and exhaled.

Memories of my past with Levi flashed through my mind, and I struck them down one by one.

The past didn’t matter. I only cared about the present, in which Levi had done everything in his power to make me the top priority in his life.

“Just let go.” Levi repeated the mantra.

The words reached the tip of my tongue, but wouldn’t spring off.

“Let go,” Levi murmured again.

“I love you.”

Levi’s arms tightened around me, squeezing, but he didn’t respond in words.

“I love you,” I said again.

This time, I looked up at Levi, who looked down into my eyes, leaned in, and kissed me deeply. I reached around his hips, placing my hands on his hulking back and drinking up every second of this moment.

A rush surged through me. My heart had incarcerated those words with seemingly no chance of release. I wanted to say them a thousand times, but decided even Levi could grow overwhelmed by my emotions.

Besides, we would have plenty of time together to say those words as much as I wanted.

When our lips broke apart, Levi said, “Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Are you kidding? It took practically every fiber of my being.”

“Better late than never.”

He had a point. Every time guys like Levi were right and I was wrong, the world made a little less sense. I didn’t mind that, though. At least now I was on the correct course.

“You love me,” he said, “but does that mean you’re going to actually be with me?”

“Of course I am. I couldn’t be in love with you and not want to actually be with you.”

“You could try, though. You’ve always been sort of a pain in the ass like that.”

I slapped his arm, and he smiled and laughed instead of recoiling. I decided that meant we’d already turned into something of a couple.

“This reminds me of coming out,” I said, “or being in the closet and not knowing how to come out. Which is it?”

“How is it like coming out?”

“Because no one knows we’re a couple. And it’s not about being gay. I know I don’t have to spell it out for you.”

“Of course not.”

“It’s going to be a problem, and you know it. We won’t be able to hide it forever. One day, we’ll want to take the next step, and all bets will be off.”

He shrugged as if to say those were small details that would work themselves out.

I had no idea how he could have such a cavalier attitude about this.

Even now, those details seemed massive and, most of all, scary as hell.

I doubted this was about Levi acting like the fearless tough guy.

He just didn’t care about what others would say.

Levi only cared about love. I understood that. He didn’t have to say it. When he took me in his arms again, I understood that us being together was all that mattered.

“I don’t want you to worry about a thing,” he said.

“How can I not?”

“You just let go, like you did a minute ago when you told me you loved me.”

I realized he was right. I could only take the next step forward by relieving myself of all the baggage the world had loaded onto me.

“Our relationship is just beginning,” he said. “There’s no need to care about that stuff when we have so many fun things to think about.”

“Like what?”

“Just stick with me. You’ll see what I mean.”