Page 18 of Puck My Stepbrother (Pucked and Possessed #2)

LEVI

“ G etting home a little late, aren’t you?” I asked Quinn as he stepped through the door, looking ready to dart upstairs.

“A little.”

“And you’re not going to stop and talk to me?”

Quinn glanced at the stairs like he wanted nothing more than to go right to his room. But I’d made it my business to change his mind.

He slipped the knapsack off his shoulder and put it by the door.

“Well?” I asked.

“I guess I can stop and talk…for a little while, anyway.”

“Awesome. Let’s go sit in the living room.”

Quinn shuffled behind me. I’d heard notes of hesitation, maybe even mild irritation, in his voice, but I brushed them off.

And sure, we could’ve conducted the conversation at the kitchen table, but you know how I operate.

I could’ve asked to talk upstairs, but I didn’t because I’d set a different goal for myself tonight.

Before you ask, the answer is yes, I did wait up for Quinn. And yes, I was aware of how much I must’ve looked like a dog staring out the window, waiting for his owner to return home.

I’d waited all day to talk to Quinn, to hear his voice and gaze at his beautiful face, and it had felt like an eternity.

Finally seeing him was the highlight of any day.

Laugh if you want. My feelings for Quinn reached beyond sex, or even my opinion that he was the hottest thing going.

I saw something special in Quinn Standish, even if others, including himself, had missed those qualities.

He possessed an aura, that special something that made him different from anyone else.

Once in the living room, I collapsed onto the couch and sank into the cushions, but Quinn sat at the opposite end.

He’d listen to whatever I meant to tell him, but he’d keep his distance all the same.

But I wouldn’t make this easy for him. I stretched my legs out so my toes touched his calves, an accidental contact that wasn’t an accident at all.

I waited for Quinn to speak, but for a while he just peered down at his hands. His lips moved, but no words came out.

Finally, he said, “I didn’t want you to think I was avoiding you.”

“Bullshit.”

He arched his eyebrows like he couldn’t believe I’d declared his comment crap so swiftly.

“No, really,” he said, “I didn’t mean to. I just?—”

“Quinn, I know you came home late for a reason. And I know you wanted to run to your bedroom as fast as your feet could carry you. It’s okay.”

“And what about you?”

“Fine, what about me?”

“You were sitting at the door, watching, waiting for me. Don’t tell me you weren’t. I have no idea how long you were standing there, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was an hour. Maybe two.”

Thirty minutes was the correct answer, but I wouldn’t cop to anything.

He had me there—one good turn deserved another and all that.

If I hadn’t waited for Quinn, I would’ve missed his arrival home.

That would’ve meant going a full twenty-four hours without seeing the object of my desire.

I also ran the risk of making it forty-eight if I couldn’t catch him tomorrow.

But I wouldn’t tell him any of that. Why give him any leverage?

“You were waiting for me.” He stated it as a fact, not a question.

He’d also gained ground on me for the first time, hallelujah.

I couldn’t pretend it wasn’t true, but I also wouldn’t add any extra information to his arsenal.

Quinn knowing what he did already made me feel weak. No need to fuel the fire.

“I missed you. Is that so bad?”

“You did?”

I nodded. Suddenly it was hard to find words. I don’t know why. For the first time in years, emotion threatened to overcome me. I just couldn’t deal with it.

I wouldn’t admit that jealousy had also played a role. For all I’d known, he’d been at Jeff’s house. Sure, that guy was nothing compared to me, but he still had more of Quinn’s attention than I liked.

“Things have changed a lot for me since we started living in the same house,” I said.

Quinn looked away. A lot had changed for him, too, but he’d deny it as surely as I’d disowned my own feelings.

“Look at me,” I said.

He did as he was told.

“What do you want from me?” His voice trembled.

“I want you to listen.”

Now he didn’t respond at all, like he could build a wall around his thoughts. Quinn might not have been a tough jock like me, but he guarded his true feelings just the same.

“I wasn’t kidding the other day,” I said.

He glanced at me like he couldn’t believe I’d raise the topic again.

“I know you weren’t.”

“Everything I told you was true.”

“I know.”

“How can you possibly know that? What if I was just bullshitting you?”

“You’ve done some terrible things, Levi Dunn, but you wouldn’t set yourself up to look like a cream puff unless what you were saying was actually true.”

Cream puff? That was good. He could’ve said “wuss” or “weenie” to far less effect. He had a point, I guess, and one I hadn’t thought of.

“I guess that means you believe that I’ve always had a thing for you?” I asked.

He offered a tiny shrug, almost like he didn’t care to answer one way or another. I waited for him to say something more. Given how long I’d waited for him, Quinn must’ve thought I was the most patient guy on earth.

Finally, he said, “I guess I had a hard time believing you liked guys all that much.”

“You mean, because I only liked a few guys other than you?”

“I guess so.”

“Just so you know, I didn’t like any of them nearly as much as I like you. I’m talking not even in the same galaxy.”

He paused.

“Okay,” he said, “but I had no idea you were gay. I would’ve thought?—”

“Gay? Who said anything about being gay?”

“But you just…well, what I mean is…”

Then Quinn groaned like he couldn’t win no matter what he said.

I’ll level with you: I didn’t know what to call myself. Gay was for people who use labels. Labels have never worked for me. All I knew was that I liked girls most of the time, guys some of the time, and Quinn Standish all of the time.

I didn’t need Quinn to understand my orientation, though. I only needed him to understand that I found him every bit as beautiful and magnificent as I’d said.

“You obviously want to talk about something,” he said. “Why don’t you tell me what it is?”

“I know it must seem weird to hear that I’ve been carrying a torch for you all this time.”

“You didn’t put it that way. You just said you had a thing for me.”

“A really powerful thing, Quinn. I never meant to minimize it. It’s just weird telling you this for the first time.”

He quieted again.

“I used to think I liked other guys for their bodies,” I said, “and that was hard enough to deal with. I knew what I felt for you, but I filed that under a totally different category. With other guys, it was just physical. I would notice teammates in the locker room, and I liked what I saw. Loved it, actually. But I felt deprived. I only caught quick glimpses here and there and had to be in the right place at the right time. I saw plenty of ass and cock, but that wasn’t enough—I wanted more.

“And then I got my hands on a copy of Playgirl magazine. I hid it in my room. Guess my dad must’ve been snooping through my shit, because he found it under my mattress.”

“And then what?”

I paused. Memories of my father’s expression and reddening face rushed back, and I couldn’t let Quinn see how much it’d affected me.

Time to stay tough.

“Then he threw me out of the house,” I said.

“Are you serious?”

I nodded.

“At first, I thought he was going to hit me. That would’ve been a bad idea. My dad’s a strong, tough guy, but I was already stronger and tougher than him thanks to hockey. But the idea that I wouldn’t be allowed to live in his house anymore because of a stupid magazine said a shitload about him.”

“Of course it does. How old were you?”

“Fifteen, and big and strong as hell.”

“Even still, you weren’t ready to be out on your own.”

“Didn’t mean shit to him. Said he didn’t want me in his family or his life.”

“Did you defend yourself at least?”

“Of course, for what good it did. I told him I had no idea how it got there. Good excuse, huh?”

“What everyone probably says.”

“Right. It’s not like I had a stack of dick magazines, but that’s the stroke material I jacked off to every night. He knew it as well as I did. Dad can be a bad man, but he wasn’t stupid.”

“So where did you go?”

“I stayed at a teammate’s house. Ironically, it was a teammate whose ass and cock my mouth had watered over the most.”

A laugh spilled out of Quinn’s mouth.

“Look, the banishment didn’t stick,” I said.

“How long did it last?”

“A whole twenty-four hours, and that’s if you want to round up. I’m sure Dad wanted to make it stick, but my mom cleared things up and invited me back home. We really didn’t talk about what happened. Dad had nothing to say to me, anyway. Mom said to just say nothing and move on.”

“Does that mean she knew why he threw you out?”

“Oh yeah, but she didn’t sweat it. I’m not saying she’s the picture of progress, so I’m sure she thought it was a phase I’d grow out of. But I didn’t care. I just wanted to come home.”

“And then your parents split up.”

“Right. I wasn’t the least bit sad to see the last of that guy, even though technically it wasn’t the last time I’d have to be around him.”

“You just didn’t have to live under the same roof with him anymore.”

“Right.”

“So what came after that?”

All the pain I’d denied for years threatened to gush out in a deluge. At first, I’d thought I could handle it. I was one tough motherfucker, and don’t you forget it. Now that I’d delved into the topic, I realized I didn’t want to say any more.

“Not right now,” I said.

“What?”

“I know I’m the one that wanted to talk, but…”

I cut myself short. If my lips kept moving, I would say more than I wanted to. I’d feel more pain and risk looking weak in front of Quinn. And I only wanted Quinn to see me as a pillar of strength.