Page 9

9

TRINSKY

M illigan was being weird.

Too quiet.

He’d basically stranded me with Ray, the slowest hiker ever to hike throughout history, and for that, I was kinda pissed. Denny’s group was nowhere in sight, and the other two groups had most likely reached the swimming hole and were probably feasting on delicious stacked turkey sandwiches from C’est Bon.

My stomach growled on cue. I put one foot in front of the other, wiping my brow with the hem of my tee. Fuck, it was hot today. I stopped under a giant tree and dropped my backpack before yanking my shirt over my head.

“You’re going to get eaten alive.”

I arched my brow. “Oh, so you do speak. I thought you’d taken a vow of silence or something.”

Jake rolled his eyes. “I did. Seriously, though…put your shirt on. The mosquitos are savage.”

“Do you have repellant on you?”

Jake sighed heavily, slipping his bag from his shoulder. He rummaged in the side pocket and tossed a small bottle at me. “Here you go.”

I called to Ray to wait up as I uncapped the bug spray. “Wait. This is lotion.”

“ Mmhmm .” He opened his water container and took a swig.

I frowned, watching his Adam’s apple slide in his throat. “Uh, okay. You can do the honors.”

Jake screwed the top on his water. “What honors?”

“Lather up my back, Milligan.” I shoved the bug repellant into his hands.

“Oh, this is good.” Ray set his bag on the ground and stalked forward, training a camera on us. Not a cell—no, this was real high-tech equipment. “And action.”

Jake snorted. “Yeah, I don’t think so. Let’s keep moving, gentlemen. We’re about a mile away from the next meeting spot.”

“Dude, this will take ten seconds. I’ve already sweated through my shirt. Do me a solid. Please. I’ll owe you one,” I cajoled.

“You’ll owe me ten.”

Our eyes caught and damn it, the air crackled between us. It had to be the heat. Of course, that didn’t explain the pulse in my cock, but I’d chalk that up to general horniness.

“Fine.” I turned around, aware of Ray circling us like a bird of prey in my periphery.

Jake moved closer. “I am not happy about this.”

“I’d do it for you.”

“I wouldn’t want you to. God knows where your hands have been.”

“Very funny,” I singsonged.

“Jake, will you step in, please? I need you both in the shot,” Ray directed.

“You heard him, Jakey. Step up and—whoa! Ray, watch it, man. You’re gonna trip and?—”

Too late.

Ray toppled over a low boulder and slid down a rocky embankment with a yelp.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Jake and I raced to the shallow ledge and spied Ray struggling to sit up in a nest of pine needles.

“I’m okay,” he said, raising a hand to temple. “But I’m bleeding. Is this blood?”

“Got you covered,” Jake assured him. “Hang tight.”

Jake grabbed his backpack and skidded down the muddy slope like a surfer. I followed, hot on his heels as he pulled a first-aid kit out and kneeled next to Ray.

Oh, yeah, that was blood. A lot of blood.

I crouched low beside them. “What can I do?”

“Call Vinnie for an emergency pickup. I can dress the wound, but he hit his head hard, and we can’t rule out a concussion.”

I paced to a nearby tree trunk to call Vinnie and give him our SOS, sharing the coordinates Jake had reeled off. I relayed what had happened while I observed Jake cleaning Ray’s wound as he spoke to him in a low, reassuring tone. If Milligan was freaked out by the blood trickling along his forearm, he didn’t show it. He was cool as a cucumber, grace under pressure.

“They’re on the way,” I reported. “We’re supposed to meet the rescue crew in the clearing. Vinnie says you’ll know where that is.”

“Yeah. It’s less than a mile away, just before the swimming hole.”

“A mile? Are you fucking kidding me?”

Ray cast a bleary-eyed glance at me. “I’m okay to walk, you know.”

Said the pale-faced dude who looked as if he were about to pass out.

“How are we gonna do this?” I whispered for Jake’s ears only.

“One of us will have to carry Ray’s gear and the other will walk with him.” Jake inclined his chin at his bag. “I’m running out of gauze. Will you grab a T-shirt and rip it?”

I was relieved to be given a task…any task to keep my hands busy and my focus off the blood dripping down Ray’s face. I was an unrepentant adrenaline junkie. Give me fast cars, wild roller coaster rides, and big-ass D-men coming after me while I raced toward a goal all day long. But any hiking trip that ended with a gory bloody scene in the woods was no bueno .

I dug through Jake’s bag and pulled out a balled-up tee. “Here you go.”

“Not that one.” His gaze was trained on Ray’s wound, but I could have sworn he was blushing.

I found another tee and tore it into strips at his nod of approval. “Can I do anything else?”

“Yeah, get the antiseptic out of the kit and help me dress his elbow,” he replied. “Please.”

I did as instructed.

And when I ran out of ways to be useful, I cleaned up the extra makeshift bandages and stuffed them into Jake’s backpack, along with the tee he’d vetoed.

Now, don’t ask me what I was thinking here. Sure, I got a strange kick out of sparring with Jake, and I could admit that I had a tendency to take things too far. However, this was a high-stress situation—not a great time to taunt a foe.

But I didn’t do well with strained silences either. I was the guy who tried to lighten bleak situations with a little humor. That was my only explanation for opening my big mouth and blurting, “Yep, you jerked it last night.”

If looks could kill, I’d have been a stone-cold goner.

Jake clenched his jaw. “Do you think that you could grow the fuck up for a few minutes here? I actually need your help, asshole.”

My skin went hot with shame, and let me tell ya, that hadn’t happened in eons.

I nodded. “Sorry. Sorry. What can I do?”

“We have to climb up the ravine and get on the path.” Jake pointed at the small ledge above us.

“Got it.” I scratched my head. “But shouldn’t we run through concussion protocol first? See if he knows how many fingers we’re holding up…that kind of thing?”

“I can see you fine,” Ray chimed in. “I’m okay. I’m just sore, and my head hurts.”

“Let’s get moving, or they’ll never find us.” Jake stood decisively, zipped his bag, and hiked it over his shoulders. “We have a short climb, Ray. Lean on us and we’ll get you out of here.”

It took some serious effort to get out of that ditch. It wasn’t deep, but the ground was slippery with wet leaves stuck to mossy rocks, and we had to make sure Ray didn’t lose his footing. He claimed to be fine, but he was dingy as fuck and he swayed with every step he took.

We split duties when we reached the path. I carried Ray’s gear while Jake played sherpa, chattering nonstop with the video man as he guided us to the meeting point. He asked questions meant to keep Ray talking: Where are you from? What’s the weather like? How long have you been a videographer?

Milligan’s version of concussion protocol was effective. Ray chattered about winters in Michigan and how using an ancient camcorder at his sister’s wedding had shaped his career path. Trust me, it was not a riveting conversation, but it did the trick and kept Ray engaged, his mind focused on something other than his woozy head and scraped knees and elbows.

I grudgingly admired Jake’s take-charge attitude and calming demeanor. Not to say that I couldn’t have handled this minor shit storm on my own, but I probably would have been gruff and panicky. And I sure as hell wouldn’t have known where I was going.

This was no straightforward trail. The winding maze of trees with low branches and forked paths required an expert guide who knew this forest well. That was definitely not me.

By the time we reached the clearing forty-five minutes later, a red van was waiting. Two EMTs greeted Jake with fist bumps and took over, checking bandages and vitals before whisking Ray off with his belongings.

The handoff was so seamless that it didn’t register that I was alone with Jake Milligan in the middle of the fucking forest until the van was well out of sight.

“Why didn’t we hitch a ride with them?”

Jake fastened the strap on his backpack distractedly. “They’re going directly to the hospital in Pinecrest. It’ll be faster to hike to camp and go from there…if you’re planning on leaving.”

“They don’t need us. Our campers dropped out sick, our PR spy got injured…”

“You should go, then.” He shrugged nonchalantly and met my gaze with a challenging glint in his eyes. “Of course, someone will mention that you bailed early, and they’ll wonder why. They might even assume you gave up, which means…I win. So yeah, by all means…go.”

I frowned. “Fuck that.”

“I thought so.” His indulgent smile did something funny to my insides. Like it literally gave me a stomachache.

“You’re really fucking annoying,” I growled.

“Ditto. C’mon, we’ll stop at the swimming hole on the way. They’ll be long gone by now, but?—”

“Do you think they left us lunch?”

He snorted. “For us and the bears? I doubt it.”

Oh.

“I have a better idea. Let’s skip the swimming and go find the others. I’m hungry.”

Jake shook his head. “I’m covered in a stranger’s blood. I’m cleaning up first. I have some protein bars and fruit in my bag if?—”

“Yeah, yeah. I do too. How far is the swimming hole?”

“Another half a mile.”

“Oh, my fucking God.” I exhaled theatrically.

“My thoughts exactly. So let’s get this over with, shall we?”

We didn’t speak at all on the way to the swimming hole. I grabbed my earpods from my bag and zoned out to classic rock as I followed Jake through the ubiquitously winding trail. I was hot, hungry, and irritable. The louder the music, the better I felt about this fuckery.

But my mind still wandered to weird places. Jake’s shoulders were seriously broad and his waist was tapered, so he looked more like a runner or an Olympic swimmer than a hockey player. His thighs were thick and muscular, though, and his ass was— Whoa!

Okay, yeah…he had a nice ass. Let the record show that I only noticed ’cause I was forced to walk behind him for miles. We were going to have to change that up on the next leg, I mused as Jake pushed through a low canopy of trees and stopped short.

I ran into him and glowered. “What are you?—”

“We’re here.”

I stepped around him, mouth open. “Wow.”

The swimming hole was an idyllic lagoon surrounded by impossibly tall trees on three sides and a sheered-off crater on the other. Water trickled down the rocky formation, feeding fresh water into the large pool. Chirping birds, the rustle of leaves in the summer breeze, and gentle whirling water were the only sounds. The rope swing hanging from a low branch was the lone nod to civilization.

“Incredible, huh?”

It was more than incredible, it was surreal. I felt as if I’d stepped into an impressionist painting with the softest shades of blue sky, wispy greens, and deep shades of indigo.

“Yeah.” The footprints on the muddy water’s edge were the only hint that our campers had been here recently. “It’s so clean.”

Jake dropped his backpack on a rock and stripped off his tee.

“There’re strict rules about leaving trash behind. Whatever you bring, you have to take with you. That swing is the only thing allowed to stay. My dad was responsible for that. He hung one for me when I was five or six. He’d bring me and my friends out here to swim and play pirates and stuff. We loved it.” He kicked his shoes aside and unbuckled his belt. “But the forest rangers wrote him up for littering and destruction of property, or something ridiculous, so he had to remove it. The following year, he petitioned to install a new swing with the understanding that it would be taken down by the end of September. It’s an annual tradition now. Smitty built that one. I helped him and Dad put it up and?—”

“Dude. Great story, but why are you nuding up?” I intercepted, tearing my gaze away just as Jake hooked his thumbs under the elastic band of his black boxer briefs and pushed them low on his slim hips.

He snorted. “I have swim trunks. Relax.”

Relax. Right. Why had I asked that?

We were athletes, for fuck’s sake. We changed in locker rooms in front of dozens of guys every day. Our old goalie, Petey, had no shame whatsoever. He’d waltz around with his junk out, toweling off as he gave his version of the game’s highlights. No one paid any attention. We were all mini exhibitionists, and no one cared.

But my heart was beating too fast again. If I didn’t know better, I’d think I was having a reaction to…Jake.

No, that was hunger. I needed to eat something. Anything. Now.

I rummaged through my bag for a protein bar, glancing up just as Jake stepped into a pair of Hawaiian print trunks. His wiggled his hips, lifting the thin fabric over his perfectly round ass.

And my mouth was suddenly as dry as the Sahara.

I tore open the package and chomped a bite of some peanut butter concoction that tasted like dust, my pulse skittering wildly. Low blood sugar was no joke. I must have been on the brink of madness. Nothing else made sense.

“Could you go any slower? I’m tired of looking at your butt,” I groused around a mouthful of protein bar.

Jake gave me a WTF look as he pulled up his trunks and headed for the rocks. He climbed to the top of the biggest one, gave an up-nod, and took a flying leap into the dark water.

He emerged with a whoop, flinging his hair and grinning like a fool. “Come on in.”

“No, thanks.”

“Suit yourself.”

Okay, maybe a little physical exertion was exactly what I needed. I chowed the rest of my protein bar, changed into my swim trunks—with my back to Jake, ’cause I was still being weird—then did a cannonball into water so frigid my balls shriveled on contact.

“Fuck! It’s freezing, asshole,” I yelped, treading furiously to keep my limbs moving.

Jake’s laughter rang like a bell, echoing in the cavernous enclave. It wasn’t vindictive amusement at my expense, though. No, this was pure joy and appreciation for something that brought core-level happiness. I had a feeling this was Jake Milligan’s happy place. Interesting.

“It’s a little chilly,” he agreed, swimming toward me.

“A little? I’m gonna start talking like Mickey Mouse in a minute.”

Jake chuckled. “You just have to keep jumping to warm up.”

He got out of the water and jumped in again, practically landing on top of me this time. I growled and instinctively went after him, diving under and pulling him with me. I wasn’t sure how deep it was, but I was a strong swimmer and Jake obviously was too. He shook me off easily and tackled me the second I resurfaced.

We went round and round, wrestling like schoolboys. We even used the swing as a catapult, lunging aggressively and dunking each other till we could barely breathe.

It was…fun. But he didn’t appreciate the sucker punch to his biceps that sent him flying near the rocks. He didn’t hit anything, but he was pissed with a capital P.

“Shit. I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

Jake glared, chest heaving. “I’ll live, but you can go fuck yourself.”

Ugh . No one frustrated me more than Jake fucking Milligan.

I was a nice guy. I was fun, loyal, friendly. I could communicate with almost anyone…except Jake. I never got the balance right with him, and the frustration made me clumsy. And angry. I wanted to fight him, knee him in the nuts, wring his neck.

My toes curled for purchase on the mossy rock as I grabbed his arm. I wasn’t sure why or what I was thinking. I should have let him go, dried off, and prepared for my upcoming torturous hike with the enemy.

I loosened my grip and glared. He returned my glare times ten and huffed, so I reached out to give him a good shove and lost my footing. My hand slipped from his chest to his throat…and I didn’t let go.

Surprise flared in his eyes and probably mine too. Then his breath hitched, and get this—he dragged his tongue across his bottom lip. And it was…sexy.

Like really fucking sexy.

Holy shit.

What was going on?

My cock swelled in my trunks on cue. I was light-headed, dizzy with a feeling so intense, I was in danger of passing out. I wasn’t angry anymore…I was turned-on. Maybe I had been for a while, and this was me finally cluing in.

Confusing for sure, but I wanted to touch him, and damn, he looked as if he were totally on board. Could that be true?

No. No way.

Jake’s gaze dipped from my eyes to my mouth and?—

Oh, fuck.

I crashed my mouth over his.

And I gotta tell you…time stopped. Like it had in the fateful moment during the Stanley Cup game—only with much more dire consequences.

We stood frozen with our lips fused for what felt like a small eternity. Any second now, he’d push me off the ledge or I’d push him. I’d have to pretend it was an accident, and I didn’t know if that was true. I didn’t know anything. Except that his lips were soft and the scrape of his bearded jaw felt nice and?—

I gasped, snapping my eyes open and blinking like an owl. Neither of us moved a muscle. We stared, each willing the other to say something and break the spell.

“I didn’t—I don’t…”

Jake nodded. “Yeah, I know. That was…adrenaline.”

“Uh-huh. Yeah. That’s it.”

He bit his bottom lip as he stepped onto the soil, water sluicing down his body. I looked away quickly and followed him. I dug a towel from my bag and slammed it over my face.

Jesus. Now what?

I’d never kissed a man in my life. Never. I’d never wanted to. It made no sense that I’d throw myself at the one person who despised me as much as I despised him. No sense at all.

But I think that just happened. Shit.

I dried myself and tied the towel around my waist, slinking the clingy wet swim trunks off.

By the way, my cock was embarrassing the hell out of me. It was a beefsteak molded to thin cotton, leaving me nowhere to hide. I wasn’t the type to blush, but I was warm all over. We’re talking from the tips of my toes to the roots of my hair.

I dressed as quickly as possible, wracking my brain for neutral topics, knowing I was unlikely to get out of this unscathed.

Just as I was about to go into full panic mode, Jake tossed a banana at me and grunted. “Eat something. You’re obviously hungry.”

I nodded, tearing into the banana like a caveman as we returned to the trail.

We hiked in silence for a good mile or so. I cranked up Led Zeppelin, Rage Against the Machine, and any other angsty song on my rotation with heavy drumbeats and screaming guitars. I didn’t want to think or talk. I wanted to get to camp and get away from Milligan, stat.

I wasn’t needed here anymore. I’d get a ride into town, book a flight to LA, and spend my summer at the beach and with Eddie. And I’d get laid…like immediately.

Sex…with a woman. Chandra would probably love to hear from me. It had been a while. She was a fan of mindless, meaningless screwing with no strings, no big conversations, no?—

I plowed into Jake’s back and tripped over a root, dislodging one of my earpods. I was too distracted by the sudden deafening quiet to register that we were inches apart. The hair on his forearm brushed mine, sending that same fucking tingle along my spine.

“Why’d you stop?”

Jake put a finger to his lips, lowering his backpack as he pointed skyward to the canopy of greenery. “See that woodpecker? He and his friends are the architects of the hollowed trees in this part of the forest. This is where Wood Hollow gets its name.”

I shrugged my burden from my shoulders too, and squinted, but I didn’t see the bird until Jake got into my space and gave me coordinates. And now we were standing closer than ever. Yeah, it was innocent this time, but tell that to my racing pulse.

Shit, it was happening again. A haze of desire clouded my mind, and I was a millisecond from freaking the fuck out. Hold it together, Mason. Hold it ? —

Too late.

I pushed Jake and growled. “Give me some fucking space.”

I expected a burst of anger, a “Fuck off,” and a continued stroll through the enchanted forest. What I got was…not that.

Jake shoved me hard against the nearest tree, a hand on my throat, one leg between my knees. “You started this, asshole. You did it…not me.”

“Did what?” I bluffed, gaze drifting to his plush lips.

“You kissed me.” Jake’s eyes flashed and burned.

He was gonna punch me. I knew it, and I deserved it.

“I didn’t?—”

He slammed his mouth over mine.

Shock gave way to an inferno of lust so intense, I was sure I was on fire. Our lips were mashed together…zero finesse. This wasn’t a kiss; it was a power play. This was him, pinning me to the boards, fighting me for the puck. And he wasn’t going to win, damn it. No way.

I reached out, fingers crooked on his neck. Jake swatted my hand and caught both wrists, roughly lifting them above my head.

“We’re even now. Don’t fuck with me, I won’t fuck with you, got it?”

Holy crap. I’d never been harder in my life. My cock was knocking against my zipper like a sledgehammer, begging for release. All logical response deserted me. Fight, laugh, tell a joke, make a snide remark. Nope, I had nothing.

Jake let go, nostrils flaring as he stepped aside.

And I pounced. You didn’t think I’d let him win, did you?

I covered him like a blanket so we were chest to chest, nose to nose, breathing each other’s air. I couldn’t say who made the first move this time…maybe it was a mutual thing. One second we were in the middle of a staring match and the next, we were doing battle with our mouths.

There was nothing sweet about it. We were fucking velociraptors, sucking, biting, and clawing. Jake’s lips parted and I pushed inside, tangling our tongues in a frenzy. He met me thrust for thrust, angling his chin to deepen the connection. And damn, it was hot.

I liked the way he tasted—fruity and minty…and masculine. I sucked his tongue, breaking for air to lick his neck. I didn’t want to lose contact. I needed this. I wasn’t going to ask tricky questions…not yet, anyway. I was content to feast on his lips for as long as he’d let me, and take care of my cock later.

That was the idea till Jake tugged free, hooked his fingers in my belt loop, and pulled me close enough that there was no mistaking that we were both mightily turned on. The glide of his erection against mine was a game changer.

I mean, making out was innocent and harmless. No, I’d never done it with a dude and even now, I wasn’t convinced I wanted to kiss Jake. I’d wanted to hurt him, make him feel rough and unhinged. But my dick was getting involved, and that was a terrible idea.

“Oh, fuck,” I groaned as he tilted his hips again.

“I’m…that’s…”

Jake grabbed my ass and just like that, we were humping and grinding. His lips, his tongue, his steel pole nudging mine…over and over. And oh, God, I was gonna shoot. I was so close.

I unbuckled and unzipped, pushing my shorts and boxer briefs out of the way. My cock swayed between us obscenely, precum glistening on my tip. I braced one hand on the tree behind Jake, dropped my head to his shoulder, unthinking, as I stroked myself.

Three pulls in, I was flying. I turned to avoid spraying my load on him and roared, shivering with the force of my orgasm.

My breath came out in a jagged rasp, my heart pounding in my chest. I licked my swollen lips and slowly straightened, glancing at the bulge in Jake’s shorts.

“Aren’t you gonna do something about that?” I panted.

“No.”

“Yeah, you are. I come, you come…it’s only fair.”

Jake arched a brow. “It’s not a competition.”

“No, it’s human nature. Your dick is trying to cut a hole through your shorts. Take care of it.”

“You’re insane. I don’t know how we got here, but?—”

“Me either,” I interrupted. “I don’t like you any more than you like me, and I’m not gay or bi, so this has to be an anomaly. Maybe it’s a matter of blowing off steam.”

“You think so?”

“Dunno.” I shrugged and gestured at his crotch. “What’s the matter? Do you have an ugly dick or something?”

“Excuse me?”

“Some guys aren’t blessed in the penis department. Too small, too skinny, too warty, too?—”

Jake huffed. “My dick is very normal, thank you very much.”

“Glad to hear it.” I yanked my tee over my head and used it to wipe my hands. “Do something about that so I don’t feel self-conscious, will ya?”

“You’re a piece of work, Trinsky,” he huffed, fingers resting on his belt loop.

“Do you want my help?”

I was sort of kidding. Honestly, this was all new territory, and when in doubt, I joked. It was a low-stakes joke too, ’cause there was no way Jake would let me near him again. No chance in hell—and I was okay with that. This was confusing, but it had happened and we could close this chapter…as soon as he took care of business.

Jake didn’t reply, but he unbuckled his shorts, pulled out his very above-average-looking cock, licked his palm, and stroked himself.

Another first: I’d never watched a man jack off.

Okay, sure, in porn. There was always a scene where an actor admired some beautiful woman with his hand on his cock. But I’d never thought, Wow, he’s fucking gorgeous . Yet here I was, dick still out, staring at my nemesis, admiring every twist of his wrist, the subtle squeezes, and the gleam of precum smeared along his length. It was literally the hottest thing I’d witnessed in my life. Ever.

I’d call it fascination for now. That was an inadequate description for sure, but I had no frame of reference here. This was new but not bad. I was a captive audience and like it or not, I felt curiously invested in his pleasure.

Jake’s eyelids slipped to half-mast as he upped his pace. His biceps tensed and if he bit his bottom lip any harder, it was going to bleed. I stepped in front of him and pushed my thumb into his mouth, knowing there was a decent chance I’d lose a digit. His eyes fluttered as he sucked it, and a second later, he exploded, shooting ropes of cum over his fist.

And fuck, that was incredible.

I stood like a statue, cataloging details like the pulsing vein at his temple, the crease in his forehead, his death grip on his junk. If I’d thought watching him fall apart would snap me out of this spell, I was sadly mistaken. I was buzzing with energy like a superhero with a newfound power.

Was I bi?

Maybe. Possibly. I didn’t know, and I had so many questions.

But this was Jake, the absolute worst person in the universe to explore a potential major self-discovery with. I chewed the inside of my cheek and tossed my shirt at him.

Jake mumbled his thanks, righted his clothing, and set his backpack on his shoulders. “We should get going.”

“Yeah.”

We hiked in complete silence, busy with our own thoughts. I wondered if he was freaking out. Hell, I wondered if I was. I didn’t think so, though. If anything, I was bewildered, and…in awe. I replayed our make-out-slash-mutual-jack-off session over and over in my head, cautioning myself not to fixate on Jake’s ass. It wasn’t easy.

When the path narrowed, it became impossible. I called out for him to stop so I could pop my earpods in and zone out.

“What’s wrong?”

“I lost an earpod.” I felt my pockets, dropped my bag, and sifted through a few compartments before I remembered. “It’s somewhere around the sex tree.”

Jake’s lips quirked in mild amusement. “The sex tree.”

“Not sure what else to call it,” I admitted, taking a swig from my water bottle. “Want some?”

He thanked me and tipped the bottle, baring his throat as he sipped. A bead of sweat glistened along his Adam’s apple, and somehow, that gave me a chubby.

Was I turning into a vampire now? Unlikely, but how the fuck was any of this possible? I looked away quickly, vaguely worried for my sanity.

“That was a mile ago,” Jake said.

“Figures.”

“We’re close, and the terrain levels out after the next hill. I texted Denny to let him know what happened so they wouldn’t worry and send out another rescue crew…”

Of course he had. That was the smart, considerate thing to do. And Jake was always smart, considerate, careful, and methodical.

I’d expect nothing else from someone who was generally well liked by fans and respected by opponents. A fucking prince. Bo-ring. I didn’t know if the boring part was true anymore, but I couldn’t think while he jabbered on about fuck knew what.

“Are we going to ignore the sex-tree incident?” I interrupted.

Jake went still. “I—yeah, I think we should.”

I nodded. “Yeah. Okay. Yeah.”

Good plan.

Or was it? I wasn’t sure about anything anymore.