Page 25

25

TRINSKY

“ W here are you taking me, Milligan?”

The road narrowed at the base of the forest. The remnants of twilight were lost in the deep green foliage and long shadows sliced the landscape, giving it a slightly foreboding ambience. My guess was that this was an alternate route to Wood Hollow. The trademark hollowed trees lining the paths were a solid clue, as was the lake sparkling in the distance. It was beautiful. I just wasn’t sure what the fuck we were doing.

“I’m kidnapping you,” Jake said after forever.

“I figured.”

“We’re going camping.”

I twisted in my seat with a laugh. “No, anything but that.”

“Trust me. It’ll be fun.”

Jake parked in a thicket away from the campground lot, grabbed two duffels, and handed one to me. He trained a flashlight on the path and led us to a small clearing on the lakeside. We erected the two-man tent in record time, and sat side by side on a blanket overlooking the lake.

“So you just happened to have a tent in your trunk?”

Jake’s lips curved in a shy smile. “No. This was a surprise. Like…a date, but without any weirdness.”

“Oh. Did you bring Pop-Tarts?”

He nodded. “Of course. And some basics. There was no grand plan to do this tonight or even tomorrow, but I thought I should have supplies ready so we could come here one more time before camp is over. Tonight seems like a good night.”

I glanced up at the starry sky and nodded. “I like being kidnapped. It’s kind of sexy.”

Jake snorted. “Good to know. I’m feeling territorial, but I’m glad it came across as sexy. It feels like we’re constantly with teenagers and hockey players. Do you think any of them saw us leaving the rink together?”

“Dunno. They’ll assume you lured me with Pop-Tarts, put a fork in me, and tossed my body in the lake.”

“Probably.”

We stared out at the calm water, leaning against each other like old friends. Or old lovers. The glimmer of moonlight and the shelter of the towering trees surrounding us evoked a timeless quality—like anything was possible. Maybe even time could stop for a few hours.

So of course I had to ruin it.

“How much longer do we have?” My voice sounded like gravel.

“Four days,” Jake replied.

“What happens next?”

“I don’t know.”

“Will it be over?” I closed my eyes briefly and powered on. “I mean, maybe we just have summer. Every year we could meet here, camp for a week and go off the grid, and resurface to coach the juniors.”

“And during the season?”

“I kick your ass on the ice.”

“Right.” Jake snickered, and released a weary sigh. “I wish I knew how to slow time.”

Me too.

Days and nights were speeding by at an accelerated rate. The summer air was tinged with a cool bite that indicated autumn was closing in, school would be in session soon, and preseason hockey would be under way. I usually loved the change of season. No, I fucking lived for it.

But now…change made me nervous.

“We need a plan,” I insisted.

“What kind of plan?”

“Visitation plan. Like…whenever you’re in Denver, we meet up and?—”

“And how do you explain me to your teammates or your neighbors or the press? They’ll all know we’re friends by the end of camp, and that’s all the mileage we can get out of our feud. They’ll be actively discussing our retirement next and which one of us will end up covering games on network TV. And real life will happen too. You’ll probably meet someone and?—”

“Fuck that,” I choked out. “You’ll meet someone before I do. Some beautiful girl who lights up when you walk in the room and?—”

“Stop.”

I stopped. I was making myself queasy, and this wasn’t the lighthearted banter we both needed.

“Sorry.”

Jake inclined his chin slightly. “We play hockey, Mase. It’s what we do. It’s all about the love of the puck. You’ll be in Denver next month, and I’ll be in Boston. That’s it. I don’t want you to risk anything for me. If you have five more years in the league, make them the best.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll do the same.” He dug into one of the bags and pulled out a box of cinnamon Pop-Tarts. “I’ll come out at some point, though.”

“Really? When?”

“I don’t know. I don’t have a plan, but I can’t lie, and I already feel crappy that Smitty knows I’m bi, and I still haven’t told my dad. How fucked up is that?”

“You’ll tell him when the time is right.”

“ Hmm .”

Of course, he would, but I wasn’t sure I could say the same for myself. Coming out was…well, not on my short list. It was too big a concept and too fucking scary. Fuck, I was a coward.

I smiled in spite of my uneasy stomach and tore into the Pop-Tart package. “Not to get all new-age on you, but where do you see yourself in ten years?”

“Here. In Elmwood.” Jake took the piece of pastry I offered and nibbled the edges…like a goddamn monster. “Maybe I’ll commute for a coaching job, or maybe I’ll throw my lot in with Vinnie and Ronnie and the guys building the program. What about you? California?”

I frowned so hard I gave myself a headache. “Part-time. Maybe. Eddie won’t move. He’s not a great traveler, and his routine is important. I’ll always have a house there, and I’ll always make time for him, but I don’t have a life there anymore…of my own. Truthfully, I don’t know what I want my life to look like in five years or ten years or twenty years. I never wanted kids, ’cause my mom was a disaster, and I sure as fuck don’t want to continue any negative trends. I don’t see myself getting married ’cause…I don’t think I know how to care about someone enough to last a whole lifetime. The funny thing is…I feel that way about you.”

Jake tore off another piece of Pop-Tart, his sharp gaze finding me in the semi-dark. “You want to marry me?”

I grinned as a warm buzzy feeling floated through my veins. “Yeah, I’d put a ring on that in a heartbeat.”

“Shut up.” He snorted.

“I’m serious.”

“You’re not serious. You’re just trying to make me crazy…as usual. And by the way, these are fucking terrible.” He held up the Pop-Tart and stuck out his tongue. “Tastes like sawdust.”

“You eat a lot of sawdust, eh? That’s kinda gross, Milligan. Here. Try one more sawdust bite, but leave the frosting for me.”

I shoved the pastry at him, and Jake retaliated by nipping my thumb. I declared war and wrestled him onto the blanket, where we proceeded to roll from side to side in a halfhearted quest for dominance. I let him win and I told him so, which made him chuckle.

And God, I loved the sound of his laughter.

I stared up at Jake’s beautiful face, memorizing the faint lines at his eyes and the wide arc of his smile. I couldn’t remember ever hating him or thinking he was less than fucking perfect.

Perfect for me.

Jake lowered his face to mine and bit my lower lip. “Mine.”

“Yours.” We kissed, hot and greedy. Hands plucked at fabric as he lifted my shirt and covered me like a blanket. I arched into his hardness, hiking my legs around his ass and grinding.

“So good, baby. So good,” I moaned, tilting my neck to give him room to feast like a vampire. I slipped my fingers under his joggers and grabbed his ass, frustrated that I couldn’t seem to get close enough. “Fuck me, Jake.”

He froze, his breath coming in short and shallow. “Are you sure? I want to, but I’m nervous.”

“Positive. Make me yours for real.”

Jake sat up quickly and licked his lips. “Okay, yes, yes. Um…we’re not at home in bed which is less than ideal, but we can do this. I have lots of lube. We just have to stretch you open?—”

“I’ve done it before.”

“What?”

“No, no…not the sex part. But I’ve tried a toy,” I admitted sheepishly. “You know…to see how it would feel.”

“Oh. So you had sex with a dildo.” He smiled in the dark as he pulled a bottle of lube from his bag.

“I wouldn’t put it like that. I just wanted to see if I’d like it.”

Jake wriggled out of his joggers and tugged at my sweats. “What was the verdict?”

“It was okay. Nothing like being in you. That’s…fucking heaven. I figured you were happy bottoming, and I was happy topping?—”

“ Shh . We’ll try something new…together.” He kissed my nose. “Turn over. Show me that ass.”

I obeyed, shivering slightly when he ghosted his thumb along my crease. It was a tease. It didn’t hurt, nor did it feel amazing. My cock didn’t approve. It basically tried to hide behind my balls and wait out the intrusion of his slick finger pushing into my channel. I groaned, but then he crooked a digit and massaged my prostate. Game changer.

Blood rushed to my dick in earnest. Every nudge of his finger sent a zing of pleasure through me. He added a second and third digit, pressing kisses on my shoulders as he used all my tricks on me. I was on my hands and knees now, my back arched, cock rock hard and drooling on the blanket.

“Yeah, that’s it. That’s good. Stick it in, Jakey.”

Jake snickered and slapped my ass. Hard. “That’s not sexy. Lie down. I want to see you.”

I was feeling too gooey to protest. And though I knew he’d never done this, his don’t-fuck-with-me vibes were a turn-on. I spread my legs wide and welcomed him as he lined the thick head of his cock at my hole. We stared at each other, noses brushing, lips hovering…and nothing had ever felt more right or more real in my life.

I didn’t care if it hurt. This was Jake. This was us.

And okay…it did hurt and I thought about pushing him off me more than once, but I liked the way he took control. I liked the way he caged me between his arms, thrusting deeply as he sucked my tongue. I liked the way he whispered my name, “Mase, Mase, Mase,” and the way he stroked my shaft as he rolled his hips and told me I was fucking beautiful. Me.

This had to be what heaven looked like. A slice of ecstasy with the one person who could see inside your soul, sift through the good and bad, and still find you worthy. I felt worthy with him…like I belonged.

So of course I held on, clinging desperately to the last threads of the connection. But I wasn’t going to last. It was too much. Way too much.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come, baby.”

Jake fucked me harder, faster. “Come.”

A tidal wave of pleasure pummeled me and held me under. I was aware of Jake moving, chasing his orgasm and bucking wildly. And then he was coming, and I could feel his release and sweet Jesus, I was in over my head, tumbling and falling…

And falling.

I was still falling after he pulled away. Still falling when he asked if I was okay, if he’d hurt me. Still falling when he wiped up the mess and unfurled the sleeping bag he’d brought. Still falling when he drew me into his arms, my head on his chest.

Falling.

Falling.

Falling.

Of all the sappy bullshit things a guy could do, falling in love had to be the worst. I’d thought I was smarter than this, but no…I was in love with Jake fucking Milligan.

And I had a bad feeling it was a permanent condition.