Page 28 of Promised Secret (Promises, Promises #3)

Chapter Twenty-Three

DAN

Clay told me he would take care of everything, but I didn’t want to sit back and let him carry the entire load. I wanted to show him I was committed to this relationship, too.

Last night, he told me we belonged to each other, and I was going to prove his words right. I would make everything right again.

Which was why, instead of heading to the clinic the next morning, I found my way to my childhood home. My lao-ba usually worked Thursday mornings, and I texted him to let him know I wouldn’t be in until a little later.

I quickly pocketed my phone after I sent the text, but I could feel it buzzing incessantly, probably my lao-ba calling. Knowing him, he was probably going to interrogate me about last night when he saw me at the clinic today, but I’d ruined those plans.

I wanted to talk to Sandra alone first, and with my lao-ba at work, this was the perfect time to do it.

“Dan? What are you doing here?” Sandra asked, with obvious confusion in her eyes, when she opened the door. She looked behind me to see if Clay had come along, perhaps?

She deflated when she didn’t see a sign of him, but she quickly composed herself. “Oh dear, look at me keeping you out here. Come in, come in. Have you had breakfast yet?” she asked as I followed her inside.

“I did,” I replied and took a seat on the couch. Sandra made a pot of tea for us—a habit she’d learned from my lao-ba—then took a seat beside me.

She wrung her hands on her lap and kept shifting in her seat. I could practically feel the nervous energy coming from her.

“I’m surprised to see you here,” she said, then with widened eyes, quickly added, “I’m very happy that you are here…just surprised. After last night, I worried you and Clay would stop coming around for a while.”

Her shoulders drooped. Taking a closer look at her, the dark circles merged deep into her cheekbones. It was clear she’d lost sleep over how we’d left things last night.

“I’m sorry things ended how they did last night,” I told her. My apology was genuine, and I truly wished things hadn’t come out the way they had. But that was the only thing I was sorry for. “But that’s the only thing I can apologize for. I don’t regret anything else.”

I was proud of how clear and steady my voice was as I spoke, and I sat up a little straighter.

Sandra studied me for a moment. Her green gaze was a familiar one that I’d felt so many times throughout the years.

Not from her, but from Clay. He had her eyes, there was no doubt about that, but it surprised me to learn just how similar they were. The only difference was the crow’s feet and deep exhaustion that currently decorated hers.

“So, it’s true,” she asked wearily. There was no disappointment or anger in her tone, just tiredness.

I hated seeing her like this, but I now knew all lying did was delay the heartache. I’d kept this secret all my life. I’d promised myself I would. But some things were always meant to come out, and avoiding the fallout wasn’t the answer.

“I love him. I’ve always loved him,” I admitted to her, fists clenching in my lap. “I’ll do anything to make this right. I just want to be with him.”

I waited for her to cry, yell at me, and tell me it was my fault our family was falling apart. There was none of that. Instead, she reached out and took one of my hands.

For such a frail-looking woman, her grip was surprisingly strong. It must be the same strength that had her staying in a terrible relationship because she thought it would be best for her baby boy. It was the same strength that had her packing them both up and leaving to protect him.

Clay was the protective man he was now because he had the greatest guardian on his side as an example.

“I’ve always suspected,” she said.

I hung my head.

“Look at me,” she murmured. The request was something else I was familiar with. She and Clay were so fucking alike. Maybe it was inevitable that the Yao men fell in love with the members of the Segall family.

When I finally gathered my courage to meet her gaze, I was met with eyes that shone with love and care. I couldn’t fathom how she could look at me like that right now when I was the whole reason we were in this mess in the first place.

“I should be the one apologizing to you,” she said softly.

“What? Why? You’ve done nothing wrong.”

Sandra shook her head and squeezed my hand.

“Ever since we moved to Kither Springs, I thought Clay’s relationship with you was…

special. I mean, the boy was always so agreeable except when it came to you.

Do you remember how he threw a tantrum because you had to leave for the weekend with your lao-ba for a conference? ”

I nodded.

It happened about a year after I’d met Clay. We’d become best friends by then, but that was also around the time I was still figuring out my feelings for him.

I hadn’t even known what love really was, but I knew my heart would go crazy every time I was around Clay. I’d thought the trip out of town would be good for my abnormal heart, though all the time apart did was trade in my fast pulse for a deep ache at missing him.

“Did Clay ever tell you he was so depressed that weekend that he barely ate?”

I shook my head, genuinely surprised by even the idea of Clay skipping a meal.

“I’m happy it was only a two-day trip, or else he might have passed out from malnutrition before you got back,” Sandra said jokingly. She shook her head and chuckled.

“At that time, I chalked up his closeness to you as him having a best friend for the first time. I didn’t think anything of it until a few years later.

Your lao-ba and I were already dating by then, and I think I was so wrapped up in my own happiness that I didn’t want to see your relationship for anything more than friendship. ”

She sighed again, and this time I was the one to squeeze her hand.

“The day we told you and Clay about us wanting to get married, I saw how distraught you were at our announcement. I spoke to your lao-ba about it afterwards, and he said you were just nervous about the change, but I wasn’t convinced.

I started to notice things, the way your gaze always lingered on Clay, and the hopelessness in your eyes when you thought nobody was looking.

I knew you loved Clay, but I chose to ignore it.

I love your lao-ba so much, I chose my happiness over yours. For that, I can’t apologize enough.”

I let her words sink in. This moment was a reminder that parents were humans, too. Even if they wanted to do their best for their kids, they deserved lives of their own as well.

“Your happiness is important, too. Anyone can see you and my lao-ba are in love. You’re an amazing wife to him,” I said truthfully.

She chuckled. “But not an amazing stepmom?”

My resolve cracked just a bit, because if I was being completely honest, Sandra was really the only mom I knew, since my own passed when I was born. My lao-ba did his best with me, but it was really Sandra who showed me comfort in a way I’d never known. I loved her like she was my own.

I had wished for her to be my maternal figure…just not as a stepmother.

“Before I knew about you and my lao-ba, I dreamed about you becoming my mother-in-law,” I admitted bashfully.

Sandra laughed and pulled me into a hug. With our height difference, I sat taller than her, but she used her powerful hands to pull my head into her chest. She wrapped me up in the same motherly hug she’d given me throughout the years, even after I’d refused to call her “mom.”

“Be it stepmom or mother-in-law, it doesn’t matter to me. I’ll always be your family. Even without Clay, you’ll always be my boy,” she said, voice choked.

I felt the frog in my throat, too. Her hugging me right now meant more to me than she could ever know. These past few years, with all my failed attempts to get over my feelings for Clay, I’d lived in constant fear that one slip would cost me my family.

Sandra had probably been worried about the same thing, too.

“If you two are serious about being together, then I can’t think of any two people more meant for each other,” she murmured.

I pulled myself from her arms. “Are you saying you’re not against us being together?” I asked with surprise. “Isn’t that the entire reason you kept trying to set Clay up with other people?”

“It’s true I was anxious to get him meeting people after I heard around town that you haven’t been dating as much anymore,” she said.

“Don’t these people have anything better to do than keep track of my dating life?” I muttered, and she laughed. Sandra was in the camp of people who thrived on small-town gossip.

She swept back my bangs that now hung way past my eyes. I’d never gotten around to asking her to cut them for me.

“I figured since you two never got together after all these years, it might be better if Clay got with someone else rather than rock the boat. I worried that if you two did end up dating and broke up, then what would happen to our family?”

I nodded with understanding. “I have the same fears,” I admitted. “I don’t want to disappoint my lao-ba or you, but I’m not as selfless as you two were. Even if you guys don’t approve of our relationship, I can’t give Clay up.”

“You really love him, huh? That was a stupid question. Of course you love him. And there’s no question that Clay loves you, too,” she said with a smile.

I smiled, too. “He’s my life.”

She took my hand again. Her hand was warm and gentle in mine.

“You know I did a lot of thinking last night—stayed up most of the night thinking, if I’m being honest. You two were always close, but it wasn’t like you never fought. In fact, I’d like to say you two bickered more than you got along.”

I muttered unintelligible excuses under my breath, which only had Sandra laughing again. It was always my feelings for him that led me to fight with Clay so much. I’d get jealous of the people around him and start bickering with him. Thinking back on it now, it was probably the same for Clay.

“You two have a lifetime of fighting, yet refused to leave each other. If that isn’t proof enough that you’ll stick through thick and thin, then I don’t know what is,” she teased.

“Does that mean…” I asked hopefully.

She nodded. “If you and Clay are happy, then I will be too.”

I pounced and hugged her so tightly she groaned at the impact. Sandra laughed and hugged me back.

“I love you, my boy,” she whispered. And for the first time, hearing her call me that didn’t fill me with dread.