Page 12 of Promised Secret (Promises, Promises #3)

Chapter Nine

CLAY

Wednesday dinner was held at our place since our parents—mostly Victor—wanted to see the rats.

Mom was horrified when she first learned we’d adopted these rodents, worried they might get us sick. Victor quickly informed her that rats were actually very clean animals and they spent much of their waking moments cleaning themselves.

Victor sounded excited as he spewed rat facts at the dining table.

Of course, he didn’t discriminate against certain animals.

Victor loved all living beings. Besides the very out-of-character war films he loved watching, he was the gentlest person I knew.

The complete opposite of my sperm donor.

And I was once again grateful he and Mom found each other.

“Honey, enough about rats at the dining table,” Mom cut in before Victor could go into depth about rodent bathing habits.

Victor smiled at Mom, with no hint of annoyance at the interruption.

“You boys improved your cooking since the last time I had it. I’d say it’s your best work yet,” he commented in between bites of the pasta Dan and I made tonight. Neither of us was the best chef, but we managed to whip up something edible between the two of us.

“Thanks, Uncle Victor,” I replied, a huge smile stretching my face.

Victor reached out for a gentle pat on my shoulder. I didn’t flinch and leaned into his warm touch.

I could understand why Dan worked so hard to make his dad proud. There was just something about getting validation from the man that made you crave more.

Instead of being happy at the compliment, Dan frowned so hard his eyebrows turned into one. He looked pensively between me and his dad, his eyes finally landing on the spot where Victor clapped me on the shoulder.

He was quiet through the rest of dinner, mostly forking at his plate instead of actually eating it. Mom and Victor were immersed in conversation about their next backyard project.

Now that Dan had mostly taken over the clinic, Victor was in retirement mode. He did still work at the clinic every so often, but these days, more often than not, he was enjoying time in his garden instead.

Victor wanted to add a birdbath by his koi pond, and Mom wanted to build a resting area by the pond where she could relax with a nice book.

Neither of them was paying attention to Dan and his unusual behavior. But I was.

I’d grown up watching and studying Dan that I could have a master’s degree in Dan Yao by now. I could write an entire thesis about him and never run out of things to say about him.

I was the person who knew him best, so I felt at a loss when he closed himself off from me like this. He took away my bearings.

“Hey,” I said to Dan, bringing the last of the dishes to the sink, where he was washing them.

Mom and Victor had moved to the living room to play with Captain and Hook. Dan hadn’t been kidding when he said he would build a huge habitat for them. Their cage took up the entire wall, with tons of tunnels, hiding spots, and room for them to run.

They could disappear within the cage if they wanted to, and we’d never be able to find them. Although it wasn’t hard getting them to come out. Captain and Hook were very smart. They knew their names and came running when called, especially if you had treats for them.

I was still wary of them and unsure how I was supposed to handle them, but I had to admit I was gaining a soft spot for our new pets. They did look adorable holding food in their tiny hands. And most importantly, they made Dan happy.

“Hey,” Dan replied, stepping aside when I nudged to take over his washing duties. He grabbed the rag to dry the clean dishes I handed him.

“What’s been going through your mind tonight?” I asked, glancing behind me to make sure our parents were still in the living room. I couldn’t see them from this angle, which meant Dan and I had some time alone.

Dan’s hand faltered on the plate for the briefest of seconds before he continued wiping. He scrubbed at it so hard with the rag that it squeaked.

“I was thinking…maybe it’s time we change what we call our parents.”

There was that fucking word again.

Change.

I’d say there have been more than enough changes recently. I gripped the dirty fork in my hand, wishing I could just stab the word out of existence.

“Yeah?” I replied, proud of how steady I managed to keep my voice. “How do you mean?”

“Do you remember when they first told us they were getting married, and you were so excited about calling my dad lao-ba too?”

I nodded. The excitement had quickly faltered when I saw Dan’s clear unhappiness toward the news.

He gripped the plate tightly against him. With his head down, not looking at me as he whispered, “You should do it. You should call him lao-ba, too. It’ll make him happy.”

I let the fork drop out of my hand, not even bothering to turn off the faucet before grabbing Dan’s shoulder with my wet hands.

“Dan, look at me,” I said.

He kept his head down, his knuckles white as he gripped the plate to his chest.

“Look at me,” I demanded. When he stubbornly refused again, I grabbed his chin and forced him to meet my gaze.

“What’s going on?” I asked. I glanced between his dark, blown pupils, begging him to finally tell me what the hell was happening to us. How did the person closest to me become someone I didn’t know seemingly overnight?

There was defiance in his brown eyes as he shook my hand off.

I released his chin but kept my hands on his shoulders in case he ran away.

The water seeped through his white T-shirt, revealing the deep groove of his collarbone.

His muscles were defined from all the time he’d spent at the gym with me.

“Dan.” His name on my lips was a desperate plea for him to stop shutting me out.

“Clay,” he said with a sigh. He sounded so defeated, like he was tired of fighting and had given up. But why did it feel like it was me he was giving up on?

“I can still remember how your face lit up at us becoming a family, and I ruined it with my selfishness. I was only thinking about myself. Still am, if I’m being honest. But I can’t only think about myself forever. Do you think your mom would be happy if I started calling her ‘mom’ too?”

On paper, his words sounded great. He wanted us to be a real family. He was maybe even accepting me as his stepbrother. Then what was with the panic that ran through my veins? The warning bells were loud in my mind, telling me I really was on the verge of losing him forever.

My mind went blank. I didn’t know what the right thing to say was to keep him from giving up on us.

Instinct took over, and I kissed him.

Dan sighed into the kiss and melted against me. For a second, I thought everything would be okay again. But the next moment, he pushed me away, though I didn’t release him.

“Get off,” he growled, eyes filled with unexpected rage. If he really wanted to, he could have shaken free, but he wasn’t really trying hard to get away from me.

I couldn’t understand why he was so mad. Kisses always made him feel better.

I tried again, my mouth crashing against his hard enough for our teeth to clatter together.

“Clay—” he growled, but I swallowed the rest of his words. I was afraid of what I’d hear.

He struggled in my arms for a second, the plate in his hand pressed between our chests. I didn’t let go, even when he bit my bottom lip, and the taste of copper twirled between our tongues.

“Fuck, Clay—stop.”

He released the plate to push me away. It fell, shattering on the floor between us.

We stared at each other. Dan was huffing, red in the face, and angrier than I’d ever seen him before.

I took a step toward him, wanting to soothe him.

“Don’t,” he hissed.

His words hurt more than any beating my sperm donor ever gave me.

“What happened?” Victor’s voice sounded right before our parents appeared in the kitchen.

They looked between the two of us, then at the shattered plate on the floor.

“Is anyone hurt?” Mom asked, brows furrowed in worry. She came to our side to turn off the still running faucet. Her eyes lingered on my lip, probably to the inflamed skin from where Dan bit me.

“Aiya,” Victor muttered with a shake of his head. It was the phrase he used when he was displeased or shocked about something.

“You boys are too old to be fighting,” he said calmly as he grabbed the broom from the pantry. “Be careful. Don’t hurt your feet.”

Mom shooed Dan and me away from the broken shards, and Victor cleaned up. Dan stayed silent, though his breath came out smoother now. He refused to meet my eye and excused himself to the bathroom.

“Is everything okay?” Mom whispered, worried eyes watching Dan’s departing back. When he disappeared behind the bathroom door, she looked back at me. A frown marred her face when she focused on my cut lip again.

I wondered how she thought I got it? Did she think Dan hit me? Or would the idea of her boys kissing cross her mind?

I didn’t know why that thought pleased me. Did I want Mom and Victor to know that Dan and I had been kissing? They were accepting and always rooted for us, but stepbrothers kissing? Surely that was crossing the line.

Even I knew that.

Didn’t mean I wanted to stop, though.