Page 40 of Private Exhibit (Gentleman Hackers #4)

ANDY FLED Devon's room, needing some air. He flew out the nearest exit and found himself in the garden. Andy winced against the bright light, both suns shining directly overhead.

Gods . He'd completely lost track of time. He must have been up all night and not even noticed when morning arrived. Andy shifted to one side so he could stand in the shade of a tree, covering a yawn and then scrubbing both hands over his face.

He had to stay awake. There wasn't a chance in all seven hells he was going to fall asleep and miss the moment Devon died.

But he needed a tiny break in the meantime.

A moment of silence to catch his breath and clear his head.

Watching Devon lying there all night had been too much.

The poor boy probably had no idea what was going on—according to the scans, he was in a state similar to sleeping—and Andy clung to that thought.

It was the only thing that had gotten him through the endless hours of waiting. Of trying to decide what to do.

He couldn't bring himself to turn off the machines. Deep down, he knew he should, but his very soul revolted against the idea. There was no point in keeping Devon alive. Nothing could save him. Even if Devon woke up, the only thing he'd have was the remainder of his days, stuck in that bed.

Devon wouldn't want to die like that.

Andy whirled around and searched his surroundings, then strode over to the nearest window.

He peeked into Devon's room, making sure he still saw the bypass machine circulating and the gentle rise and fall of the boy's chest. Andy let out a shaky breath.

He wished Devon would wake up. Andy had purposely demanded a room with a view onto the gardens, knowing Devon would like that.

But the boy would probably never even know it.

Andy spun away and paced the garden, then found an empty bench and sat down, hanging his head in his hands.

The sounds of the city barely reached him through the lush growth all around.

It was almost like he'd stepped out of his life entirely.

He wasn't really surrounded by steel and glass and commerce, nor by white rooms sterilized to perfection. Andy was in a whole other world.

Devon's world.

Andy opened his eyes and purposely looked all around, taking his time, making himself absorb the little details that he'd never bothered to notice before.

He saw fifteen different shades of green.

Seven different flowers. Eleven different shapes of leaves.

And that was all in what he saw to his right.

He turned to his left and saw even more.

He saw a bee crawling over a flower. A bird, perched up high in a tree, cleaning its feathers.

A ladybug climbing up a vine. Andy turned and lay back on the bench, looking up at the sky through the branches.

From that angle, the sky was a brilliant, bold shade of blue, while emerald and moss colored leaves flitted and danced across it, alternately hiding and revealing the massive expanse beyond.

Andy pictured Devon lying beside him, that sweet, innocent smile on his face as he lost himself in the beauty of the present.

Movement startled him. Andy sat up and spotted his son just starting to turn and rush off.

Junior?

Junior stopped and turned back, standing there with a grimace. Sorry. I came to find you and then saw you there and…didn't want to disturb you.

Andy shook his head and turned to sit properly on the bench, patting the seat beside him. It's fine , he replied.

Junior sat down, gripping the edge of the bench with both hands. Any luck?

No. Andy rubbed his eyes and sighed.

You look exhausted .

Andy gave a nod as he yawned.

Junior was silent for a long moment. I'll go sit with him if you want to get some sleep. I can wake you if anything changes.

Andy almost managed a smile as he patted Junior on the shoulder. I appreciate that. But I can't. I couldn't do it with you, and I can't do it with him.

I get it , Junior murmured. I couldn't do it with Mom, either .

Andy blinked hard. Shit , he thought. He'd forgotten all about that. How is she?

She's fine. She's sad about the baby, but otherwise she's fine. I was there when she woke up from surgery. Doctor Crawford said it went well.

Andy rolled his eyes. Fucking Crawford . The man had another successful surgery under his belt while Andy's whole world was falling apart all over again. Andy sighed and gave Junior's shoulder a squeeze. I'm glad your mom's alright.

Junior nodded his thanks, then stared out across the garden, a slight furrow in his brow. Can he help?

Can who help what? Andy asked, feeling like he missed part of the conversation.

Doctor Crawford. Can he help with…

Devon? Andy finished for him, then slowly shook his head. No.

Junior looked deep in thought. If you'd known about it in time—if it could have saved me—would you have let him help then?

Andy's insides twisted, but he answered honestly. Yes. Gods, yes. I would have taken anything. Absolutely anything to make sure you would live.

So why not now? Junior asked. Ask him for help now.

Andy winced. I can't.

Why not? When Andy didn't answer right away, Junior repeated insistently, Why not?

Because I couldn't save you , Andy blurted out. And I can't save him. I don't even deserve to have him. I failed you both. Andy slumped back on the bench and covered his eyes with one hand.

After a long moment, Junior said, Dad? I've been thinking.

What? Andy mumbled, not looking up.

What you said the other day. About me robbing you of your life. You were right.

What? Andy gasped. He sat up and turned to look straight at his son. No. Kid. No. I didn't mean that–

But it's true , Junior interrupted him. My existence did rob you of the life you always thought you were going to have. Because of me, everything changed. He held up a hand. And I know that's not my fault, but that's not the point.

Andy shook his head. Maybe he was more tired than he thought, because he couldn't make sense of what Junior was saying. What is the point?

The point is , Junior went on, you upended your entire world to try saving my life.

You stopped living. You gave up everything and threw yourself entirely into medicine.

Junior paused, shifting closer to him. Dad, look.

It's too late for me. There's no going back at this point.

But it's not too late for him. Or for you.

You deserve to live your life now. You deserve to be happy.

And if he makes you happy, then so be it.

Andy studied Junior's eyes. What are you saying?

I'm saying do whatever the fuck it takes to save him so you guys can go live happily ever after. Because I can't watch you go on like this.

Andy stared at him, completely at a loss for words. But there's nothing…

How do you know unless you ask him? Junior pointed out. Everybody needs help sometimes, right? Even the mighty Doctor Anderson Gerard , he added with a smirk.

Andy barked a laugh, then hauled Junior into a one-armed hug. I love you so much. You know that, right?

I know , Junior said, giving him a quick hug back before squirming free of his grasp. Now would you please go do something?

Andy surged halfway out of his seat and pressed a kiss to the top of Junior's head.

“Thank you.” He shot to his feet and rushed back inside.

Andy paused in the doorway to Devon's room just long enough to make sure the machines still registered signs of life, then he took off down the hallway, racing for the elevators.

He rode up to the third floor, ran past his old office, and turned the corner at the end of the hallway. Andy dashed right by a secretary's desk without slowing. He barely paused to knock on the door behind it, then let himself in.

Crawford sat behind his desk, blinking up at him in surprise. “Gerard?”

Andy stepped up behind one of the two chairs facing the desk. His legs almost gave out. He grabbed the back of the chair, bracing himself against it. Andy had to take several harsh, deep breaths, his heart racing almost out of control.

A swell of emotion punched him right in the gut as he forced himself to swallow his pride and his guilt. He had to do this. He'd do whatever it took to save Devon.

Blinking back tears of exhaustion and desperation, Andy lifted his head and looked Crawford straight in the eyes.

“Please,” he choked out in a whisper, his entire body shaking. “Help him.”

Crawford's look of surprise faded away. He dropped a tablet he was holding, shoved back his chair, and got to his feet. “Tell me on the way.”

Andy almost collapsed with relief. Crawford grabbed him by the arm and steered him out of the office. It was all Andy could do to lead the way, trying to rattle off the necessary details as they went.

Crawford didn't say a word the whole time, his face annoyingly blank and unreadable.

“I'm sorry,” Andy suddenly blurted out.

“For what?”

“For…everything. For being such a dick. For blaming you for–”

Crawford waved a hand. “Let's just focus on him, alright?”

They got to Devon's room, and they both paused in the doorway. Despite his worry, Andy couldn't help standing there in silence for a moment. A strange sort of reverence for life. For the delicacy of Devon's situation.

Finally, they both stepped into the room. Andy stopped at Devon's side while Crawford went to the head of the bed, quickly checking the monitors before he framed Devon's face with both hands.

“I have to warn you,” Crawford said gently, “if the barrier is still there–”

“I know.”

Crawford gave a sharp nod, then closed his eyes, his face pinched with concentration.

Andy held his breath, staring from Devon to the monitors and back.

A gasp sounded behind him. Andy turned to see Oliver in the doorway, his eyes wide as he took in the scene. “What's wrong?” Oliver asked. “Did something happen?”

Andy shook his head. “He's trying something–”