Page 19 of Private Exhibit (Gentleman Hackers #4)

“I was studying human biology at the time,” Andy went on, “following in my father's footsteps because I didn't know what else to do with my life.

After the diagnosis, it was easy enough to switch majors.

I jumped straight into medicine. Buried myself in school.

Graduated at the top of my class in record time.

They even hired me as a student doctor at U.H.

while I was still taking classes, and when I wasn't working Diagnostics, I was studying the disease. I took every case I could get my hands on, both my own son and anyone else I could find. Every waking moment of my life was dedicated to finding a cure before it was too late.”

Devon winced, feeling the pain in Andy's voice.

“Junior died four years ago,” Andy mumbled. “He was sixteen.”

A heavy silence passed, Devon holding his breath, waiting to see if Andy would say anything more. Because what could Devon say? I'm sorry just never seemed like enough.

Andy sniffed and started to straighten up, then slumped down and rested his forearms across his thighs, looking like he was bracing himself.

“Shortly after that, there was this expedition to Tanas. The Tanasian government sent through a request for medical assistance. Their knowledge and technology are severely antiquated compared to ours.” He nodded towards the hospital.

“Bokin asked if I wanted to go, to get away for a while, but I turned it down. Junior was a brand-new ghost, struggling to adjust, grieving the loss of his own life.” Andy blew out a heavy breath.

“As relieved as I was that he was still around in some form, I was grieving, too, of course.

I could no longer hold my son. At least, not yet.

He hadn't learned to be tangible. And, yeah, he probably could have come with me if I'd gone, but I couldn't bear to take him away from familiar surroundings, so I turned down the offer. Crawford went instead.”

Devon waited, watching Andy as the man glanced around in silence.

“The expedition team were gone for five months,” Andy finally went on. “When they came back, Crawford wasn't with them. The Tanasian government kept him there. Stopped him from coming back through the Gate. Apparently, he'd married one of their women, so they claimed he belonged to them now.”

“Gods,” Devon breathed, staring at Andy with wide eyes.

“And that wasn't the worst of it,” Andy went on. “Turns out, he had a kid here, from a previous relationship. One that none of us knew about at the time.” He paused with a wry smile. “I only know about the rest of this because doctors are the worst gossips.”

Devon laughed.

Andy chuckled along with him, then quickly sobered.

“When Crawford and his wife finally escaped and got back here, it was like this huge slap in the face.

Just as my life was ending—my son dead, my marriage officially over, my work gone because it no longer mattered—his life was blossoming.

Beautiful, adoring wife. Reconciled with the kid he'd left behind. Another kid on the way. And he comes back with all these new abilities that have untold medical applications.”

“Oh!” Devon gasped. “You mean the regeneration.”

“Yeah,” Andy said with a scowl. “Regrowing body parts.

I mean, it's something that's always been medically theorized, but nobody has ever been able to pull it off. All the studies, all the tests, all the technology at our disposal, and nobody can do it. But most Tanasians can. He can. Granted, only on certain people—their minds have to be unsecured for him to access them—but still.” Andy shook his head.

“He can regrow or repair bones, skin, muscles. Nerves.” He paused.

“He could potentially cure Ashworth-Grahams,” he murmured.

“I spent my whole life looking for a cure, and he comes back with this ability unlocked in his mind. Something he had inside him all along. Something I could probably even learn to do, since I have Tanasian ancestry, so I can access that telepathic and telekinetic plane. I could have cured my son all along and never knew it. And I found out far too late.”

Devon looked down with a wince.

“It could cure you,” Andy said quietly, his tone rising at the end, making the statement sound more like a question.

Devon shook his head. “He and I talked about that. Last week, after I met him. He said the treatment process is so invasive that, even if he could get into my mind, there's a chance that it could overload my system and kill me.”

“Shit,” Andy breathed.

“But, yeah. It's a moot point, anyway. It won't work with my mind cut off like it is. Since I don't know the key to the barrier, he can't get in. And trying to force the lock open would almost definitely kill me.”

They lapsed into silence. Devon resisted the urge to squirm, feeling his body overheating with emotion. He glanced at Andy, seeing a pained look on his face. Somehow, he knew there was more.

Sure enough, after a moment, Andy took a deep breath.

“But that's not why I hate him,” he quietly went on.

“I mean, yes, I'm envious as all hells that his life took off right as mine fell apart, but that's not why I hate him.” He took another slow, deep breath, then let it out in a rush.

“I hate him because he reminds me of my biggest guilt.”

Devon looked up. Biggest guilt? What could Andy possibly feel guilty for?

Andy swallowed hard, then sucked in another deep breath.

“He went to Tanas and left his son behind, something I damned near did myself.

Because he got trapped there after the others returned, he was gone for almost a year.

A year of his son's life that he missed.” Andy looked away and shook his head.

“And that was when I realized just what I'd done.”

Devon held his breath for a moment, then finally asked, “What's that?”

Andy sighed. “I spent all those years trying to cure my son. Endless, waking hours studying and researching, desperate for answers.” He looked down.

“I was so busy trying to save my son's life, I wound up missing all of it. His first steps. His first words. His first day of school.” Andy paused.

“I missed everything ,” he added in a whisper.

“Sometimes, it felt like I barely recognized him, because he'd grown while I wasn't looking.

I spend all my time with him now, but it'll never feel like enough. Nothing can make up for that. I failed him in every possible way.”

Devon gave a start when Andy suddenly turned to face him.

“And I can't go through all that again,” Andy blurted out, “but—gods help me—I can't seem to resist you. It's killing me, wanting you this badly, knowing there's nothing I can do to save you.”

Devon's eyes went wide. Oh gods . Had he really heard what he thought he'd heard? “Y-You want me?”

“More than anything I've ever wanted in my life.”

Devon swayed dizzily as everything went black.