Page 39 of Private Exhibit (Gentleman Hackers #4)

DEVON TUMBLED, lost and adrift in an endless sea of black.

Oh gods . Was this death? This massive, gaping void? He saw nothing. Heard nothing. Felt nothing. Devon screamed, but no sound came out.

He was all alone.

His mind felt pulled. Devon fought, scrambling to stay where he was.

He wasn't even sure why. The blackness swallowed him, threatening to drown him, but he knew he couldn't let go.

Not yet. He screamed and struggled and twisted, doing everything he could to resist the pull.

Somehow, he knew if it defeated him, it would all be over.

The invisible force vanished. Devon drifted and settled like a feather falling to the ground. He lay there, trying to think, trying to focus.

But everything was so hazy. So fuzzy. Nothing made sense. Nothing seemed to be either up or down . Nothing was here nor there .

Then a tiny sound reached him. He thought it was a beep , but he couldn't be sure.

Devon strained to listen.

Another sound. A whisper of a voices. They weren't familiar voices, but he heard them nonetheless.

“ I don't know. Three minutes? Four? ”

Devon gasped. Andy!

That was Andy's voice. He was sure of it. Devon struggled and squirmed, yelling Andy's name over and over.

But there was no response.

“ He's in a coma. ”

Devon felt his soul jump. Coma? Oh gods . He scrabbled and clawed, feeling like he was running a marathon. Let me out! Get me out! Daddy!

But no matter how much he screamed, nothing happened.

Sound faded, and the blackness became almost complete. Devon floated in it, unable to move. He felt time pass, but he had no way to count it.

The silence broke. Devon heard more voices, but the words didn't all make sense. There was something about flow rate and sats and waves , but Devon only caught every other word or so, making the whole thing sound like a foreign language.

Sound faded again. Time passed.

Let me out!

Devon resurfaced a little, sound slowly creeping back in.

“ Hey, Dev .”

Devon gasped. Oli! I'm here! Get me out!

“ I don't even know if you can hear me. ”

Devon struggled. I hear you! I'm here! Oli? I'm here!

He heard Oliver sniff. “ I just wanted you to know that I love you, and that I'm gonna be alright if you go.

Gods. I don't want you to go. I know you'll still be here, but it won't be the same.

Damn it. Sorry. If you need it to be over, I'll understand.

You've suffered enough. And I'll be alright.

I promise. You know me. I'm a survivor. I'll pick myself back up eventually. ”

Devon felt a sob rush through his soul. He didn't want it to be over. He didn't want Oliver to be left on his own.

“ I know you found out what happened to Dannika ,” Oliver eventually went on.

Devon tensed. Oh gods. He'd completely forgotten about that again. Damn it . He'd never told Oliver what he found!

“ Andy told me all about it .”

Shit .

“ And I understand why you didn't tell me. It was hard .” Oliver's voice hitched, heavy with emotion. “ It was hard, hearing how she died. I don't think I could have done it in your place, either. Hearing it was bad. But having to say all that out loud? Gods. I don't know how Andy does it .”

Devon shook his head. Or, at least, imagined he did so. I don't, either .

“ Anyway, I don't blame you for keeping that from me. Besides, knowing you, you were probably waiting to get the full story before you told me, and I appreciate that. ” Oliver sighed heavily.

“ Maybe I'll never really know what happened to her.

Why she did it. But she's gone. Maybe I just need to accept that. ” Oliver's breath hitched again.

“ But I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready to lose you, too. ”

Devon cried. Oli…

Several minutes of silence passed, broken only by the intermittent sounds of hiccups and shuddering breaths. Devon stilled, grasping for every tiny sound. For every hint that Oliver was still there.

And where was there , anyway? Devon had no idea. Was he in the hospital? Or was he already dead? For all he knew, he could be lying in a coffin, his soul refusing to leave his body, swimming in blackness as it fruitlessly clung to the space it had always inhabited.

If he let go, it would be too late.

Finally, Devon heard the sound of a nose being blown before Oliver took a deep breath.

“ And I wanted to say that I'm sorry I've been keeping secrets from you, too ,” Oliver went on.

“ I hated not telling you things, but they weren't my secrets to tell.

But you know what? At this point, I don't care.

I need to talk about it, and maybe, if you can hear my voice, you'll keep fighting to come back. ”

I'm here, Oli , Devon whimpered. I'm trying. I'm here!

Oliver sighed heavily. “ I've been doing side jobs for Grim . Nothing to do with G.H. It's still hacking, but definitely not the white-hat stuff he pays us to do. ”

What?

Oliver was silent for a long while. Devon almost thought he'd completely lost contact when he finally heard Oliver sigh again.

“ It started right after my huge screw-up with having Thomas Pennington kidnapped ,” Oliver began slowly.

“ Gods, I was such an idiot. I thought for sure it was him .” He fell silent again, then said, “ But Grim somehow found out what I was doing. I thought for sure he was gonna kick me out of the club. ” Oliver breathed a laugh.

“ Instead, he offered me a chance to help him get some revenge. ”

Devon felt like he was holding his breath, waiting for more.

“ He told me about this case ,” Oliver went on.

“ Something from over twenty years ago. There was a girl who got gang-raped by six of her schoolmates.

I have no clue who she was to Grim , but she was obviously very important to him, because he is hells bent on tracking every one of these guys down.

Apparently, he's been screwing with these guys for years. Draining their bank accounts. Spilling their secrets so they lose family, friends, jobs. But he got caught up in some other project recently, so he asked me to step in and help while he was busy with other things .” Oliver paused.

“ Truth be told, I'm not sure if that was truth or just a line. Maybe he knew how much I needed revenge myself. Maybe he thought I could at least live vicariously by getting revenge for this girl. ” Oliver breathed a laugh.

“ I have to admit…it worked. It felt good to go after this one guy… ”

Oliver's voice faded. Devon scrabbled for it, reaching out, desperate to hold on.

“ Honestly, I never expected him to take his own life ,” Oliver quietly went on.

“ It was that guy you told me about. The one whose identity you had to track down for Andy.

I don't know if you noticed, but I had to change the subject real quick when you brought him up.

I didn't want you to find out what I was doing.

I wasn't sure you'd approve of it. And, like I said, it wasn't my secret to tell. But, gods, I hated keeping things from you. ”

Devon gasped. Steven Mason? Holy shit .

“ I still want revenge for Dannika ,” Oliver continued.

“ But I'm not sure I'll ever get it. Maybe I'll never find out who drove her to do it.

Gods. For all I know, it might have been me .

And if that's the case? Fuck. I'll never be able to live with myself. ” Oliver paused.

“ But there's only one left now. One of the six that Grim was after.

Five of them are either dead or completely ruined.

There's just one more, and I'm gonna help Grim go after him.

Maybe it'll help me feel another small sense of closure.

Some sense of justice. If I can't help Danni, maybe I can at least help this girl, whoever she is. Was ,” he quickly corrected.

“ For all I know, she might be dead. Grim never really clarified one way or the other. But if she is dead, maybe soon her soul can rest. ”

Devon winced. Gods, Oli. I'm so sorry . He wished there were something he could do. Wished he could really help Oliver get the answers the boy so desperately needed.

Maybe, if Devon died, he could find Dannika's ghost and learn the truth.

But he didn't want to die. Not yet. He wasn't ready!

Trapped as he was, Devon knew he didn't have much choice. Still, he fought. It didn't seem to make any kind of difference, but he didn't stop.

Oliver's voice faded, and silence drifted back in. Devon reached out, clawing for any sound. For any hint that he still clung to life in even the smallest way. He screamed into the void, into the universe, praying that someone might hear him. Someone had to know he was still there.

A low sob reached him.

Oli! Devon yelled, reaching for him. Oliver was still there. Somehow, Devon had to get to him.

“ Hey, baby .”

Devon gasped. He froze, stunned, as everything went completely still around him.

Then time rushed back in. It wasn't Oliver. It was Andy. Devon flailed and screamed. Andy! Andy, I'm here!

“ Gods, I don't think I can do this .”

Devon choked out a sob. I'm here. I'm here, Daddy. I'm right here!

“ Dev? If you can hear me… ” Andy blew out a heavy breath.

“ I know you must be tired of fighting. Tired of struggling and suffering.

Gods. I keep telling myself to just turn off the machines.

To let you drift away in peace. But I can't do it, sweetheart.

I can't. I'm sorry. I'm not ready. I can't let you go.

Fuck. I sound so stupid. I need it to be your choice, but I don't know if it is.

I wish I could talk to you. Just once. Just to know what you'd want. ”

I want to live , Devon cried.

“ No, I know what you'd want ,” Andy went on in a murmur.

“ You'd want to live, but not trapped in an attack.

You'd want to live free. You'd want to see the trees and feel the leaves and smell the flowers.

You'd want to feel hot water on your skin and soft fabrics under your hands.

You'd want to taste that perfect cup of coffee and feel the warmth of it going down.

You'd live each and every moment in a way that nobody else has ever even tried.

Nobody else has ever come close. Gods, I wish I could give you that, sweet boy.

I really do. I'd give anything to give you all of that and so much more.

I'd go to the ends of the world if it meant finding a cure. ” Andy paused and let out a shuddering breath.

“ Gods damn it all. WHY CAN'T I FIND A FUCKING CURE? ”

Devon flinched, hearing the panic and fury in Andy's voice.

“ I'm so sorry, Devon ,” Andy sobbed. “ I'm so sorry .”

Andy…

Devon waited, straining to listen.

Andy?

But there was nothing. Just a long, excruciating silence until Andy's voice suddenly returned.

“ Gods, I can't. I just can't– ”

Devon thought he heard rapid footsteps retreating, then silence.

His heart sank.

Andy? Don't leave. Gods, please, don't leave!

But the silence persisted. Andy was gone. He'd probably given up and walked away, knowing it was hopeless. Knowing there was no point.

Devon wasn't coming back. Not from this.

He sank into the darkness, letting it carry him. All he could do now was wait.

Wait for it to be over so he could finally see everyone again.

So he could finally be free.