Page 32 of Private Exhibit (Gentleman Hackers #4)

ANDY EASED his hand out of Devon's pants and groped the boy's legs instead. “Dev?”

Devon shook his head as tears began to collect on his eyelashes. “I can't feel it,” he gasped.

Andy looked down, pretending to watch what he was doing but really just trying to hide his expression. Gods damn it all! This couldn't be happening. Another attack? It was too soon.

He'd been right on the edge of coming, but panic had his cock deflating in record time.

Andy held his breath, his whole body tense with the need for release.

But he couldn't let Devon see that. He got himself under control, shoving the worry down deep, and forced on a smile.

“I'm sure it'll be fine. It'll probably be over in a few minutes.”

Devon didn't look remotely convinced. He shook his head, his body trembling with worry. “I need a diaper. I can't feel anything. I don't want to have an accident.”

“Dev, it's alright–”

“No, it's not!” Devon cried. He sucked in a breath and covered his face with both hands. “I ruined the moment,” he sobbed.

Andy's heart clenched. “Baby? You didn't ruin anything. Look at me.”

Devon shook his head again, keeping his hands right where they were.

Damn it . Andy took a slow, deep breath, trying to keep himself calm for Devon's sake. At least, trying to maintain the outward appearance of calm.

Inside, he felt like he was dying.

“Alright. I'll go get you a diaper.” He paused. “Let's at least get you back in the chair.”

“No,” Devon whined. “I don't want to get it dirty.” Before Andy could argue that it could be easily cleaned, Devon added, “And what if someone comes in? I don't want anybody to know.”

Andy took another calming breath. “Alright. What do you need me to do?”

Devon squirmed. “Maybe sit me on the toilet? Just in case?”

“No,” Andy bit off, immediately picturing leaving Devon there, only for the attack to get worse.

He imagined Devon falling over. Hitting his head.

Suffering brain trauma. “No,” he repeated, tensing up his entire body in hopes of stopping a shudder of panic.

“How about we sit you down in the shower instead?”

Devon was silent for a moment. “Alright,” he finally whispered behind his hands.

Andy quietly let out a sigh of relief, then took a moment to brace himself before he stood up. “Come on, sweet boy.” He pulled Devon into his arms. “Daddy's got you.”

He carried Devon into the washroom, stepped into the shower enclosure, and carefully set the boy on the floor with a folded towel under him.

Andy leaned Devon back against the wall, bracing him in the corner so that he couldn't fall to either side.

“I'll be right back, alright? I'm just going down the hall to one of the supply rooms.”

Devon nodded, staring down at his useless legs, his sweet little face pinched with humiliation.

“I'll be right back,” Andy repeated. He got up and fled the room, making sure to pull the door shut to give Devon some privacy in case someone did come to the office.

Andy raced down the hallway and flung open the door to the supply room.

He rapidly scanned the space, striding past seemingly endless shelves of gauze, bandages, blankets, and gloves.

Finally, he spotted a shelf full of adult diapers, all organized by size.

They weren't the reusable cloth ones that Devon was used to, but they would have to serve for the time being.

Andy snatched one down and hurried back to his office.

He shut the door behind himself, then forced his steps to be slow and measured.

Andy didn't want to startle Devon by bursting back into the washroom, and he also needed a moment to compose himself again.

To tell himself that he was going to find Devon just as he left him.

That everything was going to be alright.

Maybe the attack would even be over. He would not find Devon dead. It simply couldn't happen.

Not yet. He wasn't ready.

Andy took a deep breath and knocked on the door. “Dev? It's just me, baby. I'm coming in.” He thought he heard a mumbled response, so he slowly opened the door and stepped into the room.

Devon was right there, propped up in the corner, his little hands still covering his face.

Thank gods .

Andy shut and locked the door. “Dev? You alright?”

The boy nodded.

“Did you have an accident?”

Devon shook his head.

Andy held back the urge to sigh with relief. “Is the attack any worse?”

Devon started to shake his head again, then paused. “I can feel again,” he mumbled behind his hands, “but I still can't move.”

“That's alright,” Andy murmured, crossing the room. “Maybe that means the attack will be over soon.” He crouched down and reached out to touch the boy's leg. “Let's get your diaper on just in case, though, yeah?”

Devon didn't respond.

Andy picked Devon up and moved him to the middle of the washroom, setting him back down on a rug. He pulled off Devon's shoes and socks, then looked at Devon's face, silently asking for permission to go on.

Devon still remained silent, his jaw tight and tears streaming down his temples as he stared up at the ceiling.

Andy reached for Devon's pants. They were already unfastened and rucked up around his hips, so Andy gently tugged them down, taking Devon's underwear along with them.

Andy moved quickly, sliding the diaper underneath Devon's hips, then getting it situated between his legs before fastening the sides.

“Is that pinching anywhere?”

Devon frowned. “No,” he finally whispered.

“Alright. Good.” Andy grabbed Devon's pants and worked them back up Devon's legs, having to take extra care to make sure the diaper didn't get tugged out of place anywhere and that the pants rested where Devon wanted them. “There, baby. All done. Let's get your shoes back on.”

He helped Devon finish getting dressed, then wadded up the boy's underwear in his fist before he slipped both arms under him and lifted him up off the floor.

Devon ducked his head and closed his eyes.

Andy managed to get the door open and carried Devon out to the office.

He set the boy gently in the chair, then found Devon's lunch bag and stuffed his underwear into a side pocket, out of sight.

“It's gonna be alright, sweet boy. Everything's gonna be fine.” He crouched down and grabbed Devon's hands.

“Tell Daddy what you need,” he added in a murmur.

Devon looked down at their hands, his little fingers tense as he returned the pressure of Andy's grip. “I need to be alone,” he whispered.

“Dev, I'm not sure that's a good idea–”

“Please,” Devon begged.

Andy studied his face for a long moment, then sighed with resignation.

“Alright,” he whispered back. He didn't want to let Devon out of his sight, but Devon clearly needed this.

It had been the same with Junior. Sometimes, the humiliation was simply too much.

Devon needed a chance to recover on his own.

Andy rose up and pressed a kiss to Devon's forehead. “I–”

He broke off, his heart racing. Shit . He couldn't say that. Not now. It was completely the wrong moment. And it was too soon.

But a part of him wanted to say those three little words more than he'd ever wanted to say them in his life.

“I'll be upstairs,” he said, hoping he'd recovered quickly enough that Devon wouldn't notice. “I'll come back and check on you in an hour. Alright?”

Devon hesitated before he gave a tiny nod.

“Then maybe we can go sit in one of the gardens for lunch,” Andy suggested.

Devon perked up just noticeably at that.

Andy smiled. “I'll be back.” He pressed another kiss to Devon's forehead, then stood up and left the room before he could change his mind.

The moment the door shut behind him, Andy nearly spun right around and yanked it open again. He closed his eyes and took a slow, deep breath, then walked with measured steps to the elevator. Andy punched the button for the third floor, scrubbing his hands over his face as the lift began to move.

He barely waited for the doors to slide open before he rushed from the car and strode down the hallway to his old office.

Andy barged inside, then locked the door behind himself.

There were too many people about. Too many of his old colleagues who had just seen him walk in there, all of them stopping to stare.

The last thing he wanted was to talk to any one of them.

Andy scanned the room, then had to cover a yawn. Between the few hours of sleep and the drama of the morning, he felt exhaustion catching up with him.

But he didn't have time to waste.

Whoa. I don't think I've ever seen you outside the morgue before .

Andy whirled around, startled by the voice. He spotted Vorena standing just inside the doorway, her eyes wide as she scanned the room.

Sorry , she said with a smile. I'm nosy so I followed you up here. You looked like a man on a mission.

Andy nodded, striding over to his desk. He picked up a file and said, No offense, but I really don't have time–

At the same moment, Vorena said, I just saw Junior over on Erostil.

Andy jerked to a stop and looked up, blinking dumbly. What? What the hells was he doing there?

Making out with a girl , Vorena said with a smirk.

I– Andy broke off, blinking dumbly. How the hells did he even get to Erostil? That's halfway around the world.

Near enough , Vorena said with a laugh, but she quickly sobered. You do know that ghosts can go literally anywhere, right?

Well, yeah, but–

Because I used to think I was tied to certain places. Certain energies. Turns out, I was just limiting myself. Afraid to get too far from the people I loved.

Andy glanced in the direction of the elevators even though he couldn't see them through the walls.

Doc? What's going on?

Andy slapped down the file and sank into his chair. You remember the boy you saw in my office?

The one with a block on his mind? Oh yeah. What about him?

Andy gripped the armrests of his chair. He has an incurable disease. The same one that took my son.

Vorena gasped. Oh. Shit. She came closer. Andy, I'm so sorry.

Andy waved uselessly at the files spread all around him.

All these patients. All the time I spent studying the damned thing.

And there's nothing I can do to save him.

I spent all night going back over all my files, but there's nothing here.

I've tried everything . Anything and everything I could think of.

Not a single damned treatment ever so much as touched this gods-damned disease.

Andy paused, swallowing hard. I can't even help control his symptoms.

Andy . Vorena shook her head. I'm so sorry . She paused. What about Grae?

Andy scowled. What about him?

What if he could get past that block on the kid's mind? Maybe he could help–

“I don't want his help!” Andy yelled. “I don't want a gods-damned thing from him.”

Andy–

“It doesn't matter, anyway,” Andy went on audibly, needing to vent. “Devon doesn't even know what the key is to that barrier. But Crawford is the last person I'd go to for help on this. He can just fuck right off for all I care.”

Vorena took a step back and held up her hands. I think I'm gonna give you some space . Before Andy could say anything, Vorena vanished.

Andy grabbed the nearest thing to hand—one of his patient files—and flung it across the room.

Paper showered all over the floor, the sheets drifting and fluttering as they swayed through the air, landing softly on the carpet. They all lay there, a still, scattered mess.

Andy bent over his desk and cried, knowing Devon was going to die.

Knowing there was no way to stop it.