Page 15 of Pride High 2: Orange

Even from the back seat, Ricky could feel the tension that suffocated further conversation. They pulled up to his house shortly after, forcing him to acknowledge his own problems. “It was nice knowing you,” Ricky said as he reached for the door. He didn’t open it yet. “Hey, do you kiss when you say goodbye?”

“Each other?” Cameron asked in confusion.

Ricky nodded happily. “I don’t mind. Go ahead.”

“Uh,you’rethe one who’s leaving,” Anthony pointed out.

“Yeah, I know, but I’m about to get seriously grounded, and I’d feel better about it if I at least got to see two guys kiss.”

They laughed at this. Cameron raised a quizzical eyebrow. Anthony shrugged. Then they leaned toward each other and smooched, Ricky applauding afterwards, because he’d kissed a boy before (and done plenty more), but witnessing it was something else entirely. Even if he did still feel envious of Anthony. Ricky would have gladly traded places with him now. He slid out of the car, tromped toward the house, and was barely in the door before his mother came rushing toward him.

He braced himself in anticipation of the lecture that was about to scorch his eyebrows. Except all his mother said was, “Thank god!” before she squeezed him close. Then she held him at arm’s length while looking him over. “You’re okay?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I just needed to hang out with my friends.”

“You needed to feel normal,” Ami said, her tone sympathetic. “I read your article, honey. It’s beautiful!”

“Really?” he asked. “You aren’t mad?”

“I’ve never been angry with you. Not about this.” Her eyes searched his. “I didn’t know what to think. Now I do.”

“So everything can go back to the way it was? I won’t have to see a therapist?”

Ami sighed. “Maybe I should write my own article, so you can understand where I’m coming from.” Her chin trembled. “Then again, I hope you never experience what it feels like to nearly lose your child. Honey,Ineed you to speak to a therapist. Do it for me, so I won’t worry as much, and in return, I’ll try not to make you feel like you’re being punished. Okay?”

He nodded, and when his mother hugged him a second time, Ricky felt like he was finally home again.

* * * * *

Frustration and relief. The two emotions shouldn’t coexist, but they spun harmoniously inside Anthony, making it hard for him to know exactly how he felt. Although he was certain of one thing.

“I don’t want to go home yet,” he said.

“Me neither,” Cameron replied. “Willow tree?”

Anthony nodded, and for a moment, a light shone from his heart, reducing the other emotions to mere shadows. The station wagon pulled over next to an empty field, where a lone tree could be seen in the distance. This was a special place for them. Cameron had once sat under the willow while dreaming of someone he had never met. And when he’d decided Anthony was that person, Cameron had brought him here to tell him so. They had kissed for the first time beneath the tree, the memory taking the edge off his frustration. But he still wanted answers.

“What happened?” Anthony asked as they walked across the field together.

Cameron didn’t need him to clarify. “I wasn’t given any warning.”

“You’ve been wanting us to come out since we met!” Anthony shot back. “I thought it would make you happy. Like a Thanksgiving surprise or something. Instead you just…”

“Sat there?” Cameron asked.

Anthony exhaled, relieved they wouldn’t be arguing about semantics. “You stood up eventually, but it felt like an eternity before you did. And you didn’t look happy.”

“It’s not you,” Cameron said, his voice raw. “Or us. I promise!”

Anthony reconsidered him, his own needs no longer important, because something was wrong. “What happened?”

Cameron swallowed, his eyes watery and filled with lingering concern.

“We’re good,” Anthony assured him. “I promise. I just want to understand.”

They had reached the willow tree, its long drooping branches brushing the ground. Cameron used an arm to part them like a curtain so they could enter.

“Come here,” Anthony said, settling down with his back to the trunk. He hooked an arm, his boyfriend soon filling the space. “Tell me. Please.”