Page 6 of Power Play (Titans Hockey #2)

Chapter five

Lacey

I don't call Ben.

His number's on the team roster. It'd be easy enough to find. But what the hell would I say over dinner? How are you? I'm still in love with you? Wanna try again?

It's been eight years. He could be a completely different person.

Fame and fortune could have gone to his head.

Is he a fuckboy now? We grew up in a tiny town in Vermont.

Now he's surrounded by gorgeous women every time they go out.

I'm sure he's got a dozen women throwing themselves at him every day.

I check in with my gut - something I learned to do early on.

I considered if I wanted to go out to dinner with him and catch up.

And the answer is emphatically ' no '. Between the interview process, flying to North Carolina, moving everything I own (which, granted, wasn't a lot), the sinus infection I picked up from the airplane and starting a new job?

My heart already feels flayed open and vulnerable.

If we go out to dinner and he tells me he's married, or if he's changed, or anything I don't want to hear, I'm not sure I could take it.

For right now, I want to hold on to Ben from the past. The thoughtful, sweet, open, caring boy that I loved. Because I'm not sure I'll love Ben the Man, and if Ben the Man turns out to be a douche, I don't want it to change how I loved Ben the Boy.

I know I'll have to work with him. We'll be traveling together, working together. I'll be watching him practice and perform and helping Coach Ward keep him healthy and at the top of his game .

And that will have to be enough. Maybe down the road, when things have settled a little, I'll reconsider that dinner. But my intuition is telling me now isn't the right time.

I'm walking down the long hallway to the gym, ready to start my first full day of work.

"Bestie!!" I hear, and my heart drops into my stomach.

Noooooo. No. No. No. No. No! This can't be happening. After a heartbeat of denial, my body floods with adrenaline and my fight-or-flight response kicks in.

I turn just in time to see my sister, Tracey, throw herself into my arms. Not just my sister, my twin.

I pull her off of me, holding her shoulders so I can look her in the eye. "Tracey? What are you doing here?"

I notice her Titans polo and khakis. No. This can't possibly be happening.

"I work here, silly! Isn't that great?"

No. It's not fucking great. It's a fucking nightmare. The headache from my sinus infection doubles and I grab her roughly by the arm, pulling her into a storage room. Flipping on the light, I turn on her.

"What the fuck do you mean you work here? Doing what?!"

"Social media management," she says with smug confidence. Her smile is sickly sweet. Bile churns in my stomach.

"You don't know anything about social media management!"

"Yeah, but they don't know that." She scoffs like I'm the biggest idiot in the world, and people lie on their resumes every day.

"Did you lie on your resume?"

"I figure if teenagers can do it, I can figure it out. "

"Tracey! This is a professional NHL team. You can't just lie on your resume! This shit impacts the entire organization!"

She shrugs off my concern. "It's just TikTok and Instagram. Who cares?"

" Everyone! " I whisper-scream at her.

This is a fucking nightmare. She's going to fuck something up and get me fired.

They're going to find out she lied, and it'll reflect on me somehow.

They'll think I lied on my resume. My entire schooling, my entire career.

She's going to ruin it all. And I'll never get another job with another professional team.

My breathing quickens and I feel the walls close in on me. I'm spiraling. I'm about to have a fucking panic attack in a broom closet. Great.

I throw open the door and stumble out, needing fresh air. Except, I stumble directly into a wall of muscles. A person. A man by the feel of them.

"Woah, there," a deep voice says, gripping my biceps to hold me steady. Bright blue eyes, sit under dark furrowed brows. "New doc? You alright?"

Panic rises in me, and I need to get out before my heart cracks against my ribs.

"Need... fresh air," I gasp out to Jonesy.

Yeah, so after I saw Ben, which was literally the thing I was trying to avoid by blacklisting hockey in my life, I finally looked up the rest of the team and who I'd be working with.

He looks behind me and sees Tracey. He looks back and me, and back at Tracey. "Freaky."

"Yeah, freaky. Get me out of here? Please?"

He nods once. "Yeah, come with me. "

Tracey calls out after me. "Oh! And I'm your new neighbor! Isn't that great!"

I wave my hand up dismissively. "Alright bestie, I'm going to go find Ben. It's been sooo long."

Her parting shot hits me square in the chest and I double over.

My hand goes to my throat, as, if I can pull the invisible noose off of it.

Jonesy scoops low and wraps an arm around my upper back and armpit, basically hauling me up a flight of stairs.

My vision's starting to fade around the edges.

Christ, I'm going to make a great first impression, passing out on my first day.

What does it matter if it's only a matter of time before all of this blows up in my face?

I'm vaguely away of an exterior door before it's swung open, and we're blinded by sunshine. It's September, in North Carolina, so it's not all that cold, but the fresh air and sunshine slow down the panic attack.

"In through your nose and out through your mouth," Jonesy says, holding my shoulders and walking me around to one side of the roof.

I close my eyes and attempt to do what he says. It grounds me, gives me something to focus on. I try to push the spiraling thoughts out of my head, and just feel. Just feel the sun on my skin, the breeze on my face, my breath going in and out.

After a few minutes, I'm good. I open my eyes and take in Jonesy's curious grin.

"Thank you," I sigh, suddenly feeling incredibly drained.

He nods to an upturned milk crate, inviting me to sit. I drop gratefully onto it and hang my head between my knees.

"Want to share why the person, who I'm assuming is your twin, gave you a panic attack? "

I open one eye and peer up at him. He moves to block the sun so I can see him better.

He's slimmer than a lot of the guys, but still muscular.

He's got the body of a forward. I've started learning everyone, but definitely don't have everything memorized.

He's handsome, with high cheek bones, dark brown hair and beautiful blue eyes.

His jaw is cut in that classic GQ way that screams money, but his tattoos snaking up each arm underneath his T-shirt screams bad boy. This guy's trouble.

"Not really. Wanna tell me about your hiding spot?"

His smile falters, and a muscle in his jaw ticks. He dips his chin. "Not really," he says, giving my words back to me.

He turns and sits on the black, gravelly surface of the roof next to me and closes his eyes, tipping his face to the sun.

We sit in silence, but it's not uncomfortable. I start to wonder what a gorgeous, rich, professional hockey player could need a roof to escape from but stop myself. Looks, money and fame don't cure all of life's issues. Darkness can come in any form, and who I am to judge his?

I take a deep breath in and out. Technically, I was on my lunch break when I ran into Tracey, but I'm going to need to go back to work. I run through scenarios of what I'm walking back into. Another encounter with Tracey. Maybe seeing Tracey and Ben flirting. I'm nauseous.

And my head is fucking killing me. I dig my thumb into the groove in my orbital socket, trying to relieve some of this pressure.

"Fuck!" I shout, as my anxiety, nausea and rage bubble up. My head's killing me and the sweat from my panic is starting to cool on my skin. I'm not one to complain. I'm not a "it's not fair" type of girl. But fuck if that isn't exactly how I feel.

"You tell 'em," Jonesy teases from next to me.

Fuck this. I'm Lacey fucking Bennett. I shake my head and pull my shoulders back.

There's nothing I can't do. It'll feel like shit if I see them together, but I'm going to pull up my big girl panties and be a fucking professional.

I'll cry into a bucket of ice cream when I get home.

Right now, there's an NHL team who needs their physical therapist.

And I have a lot to prove.

I just needed a little freak out on the roof to remind me of who I am and what I set out to accomplish.

"Right," I say, slapping my knees and standing. "Time to get back to work. Thank you for letting me borrow your secret place. I'll get out of your hair."

Jonesy opens one eye and peers at me with curiosity.

"Already?"

"What do you mean?"

"Panic attack to back to work in..." he pretends to check a watch that's not there. "Sixty seconds?"

I shake my head. "I don't get the luxury of freaking out longer than that. I have a new team I have to impress, in a male-dominated field. I can't show weakness. I would appreciate it if we kept this to ourselves?"

He smiles then, standing and brushing off his ass, before sticking a hand out to me. "Our little secret. "

We shake on it, and I follow him back inside. We part ways in one of the hallways. He doesn't say a word, but does wink at me before turning towards the locker room.

Lauren was kind enough to keep my workload pretty easy this week, since I'm sick and still adjusting.