Page 36 of Power Play (Titans Hockey #2)

Chapter thirty-three

Scott

I t's been a week since Ben's accident, and things have been tense both at home and at work. Injuries are common among hockey players, but we've all heard the stories of hits into the boards like that being much, much worse. Like paralyzing you from the neck down worse. Like brain-bleeds worse.

And while I like and admire Ben, it's knowing how devastated Lacey would be if anything like that happened to him. It was watching her leap over the boards like she wasn't carrying our babies. It's watching her now, tense, anxious.

She had just started to relax at home with all of us. I feel like she'd just started believing in a happily ever after. Now she's clammed up again. Ben and Garrett don't know what to do with her, and they're looking to me for a solution, but I'm out of my depth here, too.

I can't tell her everything will be alright, because she saw last week just how it might not be all alright.

Any one of us could pass any given moment.

She could still lose the babies. But that's life, isn't it?

We never know what might happen, so we need to live it to the fullest?

Leave nothing behind every day? Leave it all on the ice, so to say?

Lacey isn't living right now. She's gone back into survival mode.

And I hate it. The anger I have about her situation simmers under my skin, and I wonder if I shouldn't hit up the heavy bag in the gym when we get home.

I'm not angry at her, but her situation, and the fact that I have nothing better to offer her than shallow words .

How can I show her that it's all worth it? That we're worth it. That life's worth it.

I hold her at night, but don't initiate intimacy. I know she's not in the right headspace for games, or even making love. She's scared. But God, do I want to pin her down and fuck her until she forgets what she's scared of.

Even at work, the mood is somber. The boys try to joke around on the ice and in the locker room, but this is Ben's first year playing pro.

He did three years as a rookie with the Titans.

The possibility that he became one of those depressing statistics hockey players don't like to think about - three games into his first season and an injury cuts a very promising career short - is tough for any of us to think about.

Ben's been at home for two weeks, but Lacey's come back to work.

Everyone is tiptoeing around her and her change in attitude.

And I don't blame them. She's easily fallen in with the team and the boys have happily accepted her as one of them.

A teammate, a sister, to protect and tease, but even they don't know how to handle her.

And the need to fix it all has me much bitchier than normal. If that was even possible.

The drive home is nearly silent. The radio's on in the background, and Jonesy and I chat easily about upcoming games and the other teams' stats. But Lacey sits silently in the passenger seat, my hand held in hers, resting on her thigh.

At least she hasn't pulled away from me entirely.

We walk in the door, kick off our shoes and greet a smiling Martha. I've never been more grateful for her. She's been a feminine voice to lean on with Lacey, and like the mother, Lacey never had to her. She's warm and affectionate without being smothering. That's my job .

"Hey B?" Lacey calls into the house, walking through the living room and towards the hallway that leads to the bedroom.

She checks his room, then hers, then mine. "B?" Her voice is tinged with concern and that doesn't sit right by me. His truck was in the driveway.

"Maybe he's downstairs..."

I'm about to ask Jonesy to check when I hear a guttural sob punch out of Lacey. I'm instantly in fight-or-flight mode and run to her. She's on her knees in the doorway of the nursery. I take in the scene as quickly as I can.

Ben's shirtless, with dabs of blue and green paint on his chest, and he's removed one side of his large headphones.

"Lace.... I didn't hear you come in..." He looks regretful but not worried, even though Lacey is in tears on the floor.

I wrap my arms around her, tug her to her feet and spin her so her face is buried in my chest. I'm about to scold Ben for whatever he did that made her cry, but then I realize.

.. he's put together the cribs and rocking chair.

The white dresser that will double as a changing table and set up the baskets that will hold diapers and blankets.

And now he's painting a mural on the back wall. Baby foxes and bunnies and hedgehogs have been traced into a woodland scene.

"What..." I don't even know what to ask.

"I wanted to surprise you guys. I’ve been going stir-crazy at home, so I figured I could set up the nursery as a surprise."

"Why..." Why is she crying? And why don't you seem surprised?

Jonesy comes up behind me and peaks around my shoulder, nodding in approval .

"Lacey's little sister Savannah's nursery was a woodland theme. We hadn't talked about it... but I thought it'd be nice..."

Lacey sobs a little harder against my chest. I hold her head to my chest and simply breathe with her. I'm glad we have Ben. I never would have known that about her sister. I wouldn't have even known what to ask.

I give Ben a nod. He did good with this.

Instead of placating her - something I don't have the patience for - I drag her to the middle of the nursery and sit, crossing my legs, on the floor. I pull Lacey on top of me so she's straddling my lap.

Jonesy takes one of the gliders while Ben sits behind her, offering a comforting hand on her back.

"Darling?" I ask, tipping her head backwards and wiping the tears from her cheeks. Her face is red and blotchy from crying, and I hate any amount of pain she must feel, but we need to have this conversation. "Why are you crying?"

She sniffs, her lower lip quivering. "I... I..." her face screws up adorably, like she's almost confused by the question.

So, Ben answers for her. "She's not used to having people in her corner.

People who consider her and her needs. People who want to take care of her.

I did what I could when we were kids, but I didn't have the time or the means to really care for her the way she deserves.

She's just figuring out what that looks like. "

She gasps. "That's it exactly. I never thought I'd have anyone, let alone three someones, that take care of me so well. I was pretty certain I'd spend the rest of my days alone... working and alone..."

I nod, letting the silence settle in between us .

Until Ben speaks up. "Do you ever think that maybe Savannah had something to do with this?"

Lacey's head perks up as she turns in my arms to consider him. I wrap both of my arms tight around her waist and hold her against me. She tilts her head in question at him.

"Like, maybe she saw how alone you were, so she sent you three men to love and adore you and not one, but two babies to raise in all that love?"

Lacey runs her hands over my forearms in thought.

"That's it, isn't it? Divine sisterly love from the grave." Garrett snarks, but it doesn't hold the bite it usually does.

I squeeze her tighter, resting my chin on her shoulder.

"What Jonesy's trying to say," I narrow my eyes at him, "…

is that no matter what happens, you have a lot of people in your corner now, and you always will.

We can't control or predict what will happen, but no matter what, you're here, you're protected, and you're loved. "

I haven't said those exact words to her yet, but I squeeze her again for emphasis. I want her to be in a better mindset before I break out the whole ' I love you ' and ' will you stay with me forever ' conversation.

But she has to know that's where we all are, right?