Page 45 of Power Play (Titans Hockey #2)

Chapter forty-one

Lacey

I 'd like to say dinner is tense, but it's not.

Tracey dominates the conversation, like always, talking about her new apartment and her new job with the Titans.

Ben keeps checking on me out of the corner of his eye to gauge my reaction, and I pick solemnly at my dinner.

I tried to ask Mom about her book club, and Dad about his pickle balling, but got mild, polite answers. God, I'm a stranger to my own parents.

A part of me, full of childhood rage, wants to scream at them, to flip the table and demand they see me.

Another part of me knows that it's useless.

That I shouldn't have to beg the people in my life to see me.

I think about my earlier conversations with the boys.

How a family is supposed to act. How I'm allowed to cut familial ties that no longer serve me.

That I deserve to take up space, and I deserve to be loved, not because I've accomplished anything, but because I exist. That this is my life, and I deserve to take up space in my own life.

I'm over this dinner, so I tap the side of my glass to get everyone's attention.

"Excuse me, everyone. I have an announcement to make."

Ben squeezes my hand in reassurance. I press my hand to my belly, where my baby bump is, carefully hidden beneath a baggy sweatshirt. But before I can make my announcement, Tracey notices my hand and stands.

"I'm pregnant!" She shouts and my jaw drops open .

This. She took this away from me. She's so fucking petty, she can't even let me announce my own pregnancy.

My mom squeals delightedly and my dad stands to wrap her in a hug and congratulate her.

This is a lot, even for her. She's not dating that I know of.

Where's she going to get a baby in nine months, steal it?

Actually, that wouldn't surprise me and something about that level of derangement really has my hackles up.

I've heard of women stealing babies. They invent an entire pregnancy in their heads and then steal someone else's baby and convince themselves it's theirs.

I even heard of one where she cut the baby out of the pregnant woman's belly.

My blood runs cold at the thought. I don't know if my sister's that far off the deep end, but I sure as fuck am not going to have her around to see. I look at Ben, into his worried, deep chocolate eyes. I'm sure my face registers the shock and maybe a little of the fear I'm feeling.

"Well, Lacey? Aren't you going to congratulate your sister?" My mom scolds.

I stand.

"I would if she actually were pregnant, but she's not." I'm hedging a bet here, but I saw her watch me touch my stomach and just knew she had to steal my announcement. If she knew I was pregnant before, I have no doubt she would have tried to get pregnant, too.

Woman really needs a shrink.

My mom and dad speak over each other, admonishing me and my crassness, while Tracey pouts. My mom holds Tracey's shoulders as if she can protect Tracey from me, and fusses over her.

I stand and talk over them. "I came here to tell you that I'm pregnant, with twins. That I'm with three amazing men who are going to help me raise your grandchildren." Ben stands next to me, arm around my lower back in support.

Dad gives a condescending little snort. "Lacey, have some class. You're always trying to undermine your sister’s moments. She comes home to tell us she's pregnant and you what? Have to one up her by saying you're having twins, and you have three men? Come on, that's ridiculous."

I want to pull up my sweatshirt and point, obviously, at my swollen belly, but I have a feeling at this point nothing I do matters. They could see the proof in their face and never choose me.

I take a long, final, hard look at my father. The only man in this world who is supposed to love me unconditionally. Then I look to Ben and think about my other two men in North Carolina. All three who have decided to love me, and my babies unconditionally. Who take care of me, see me, love me.

The man in front of me? My father? Every day chooses everyone but me. The woman standing next to him? Is a stranger. My sister? Is a stalker and a bully.

"I'm sorry it had to end this way. Goodbye." I say with a finality I can feel in my bones.

Ben follows me out wordlessly. He opens the passenger door and closes it behind me after I sit. He drives wordlessly to the bed and breakfast and handles me with kid gloves as we make it to our room.

I can tell he has a lot on his mind but is letting me work through some things on my own first.

Once I've showered, alone, changed into pajamas and am in bed under the comforters, does he feel comfortable enough to speak his thoughts .

"Make the call, L."

I look down at my phone in my lap. I nod, and call Scott.

"Hey, darling. How did it go?" His voice is deep and rumbly with sleep.

"I want her gone."

"What happened? What did your parents say?"

I'm too physically and emotionally exhausted to answer. My heart feels raw, flayed open, and I just want to shut off the world for a minute, so I hand my phone to Ben.

He takes it and talks to Scott quietly, stepping out of the back sliding glass door of our B&B to tell him everything.

Going no contact with a family member is never easy. Going no contact with your entire blood family is something else.

But I know, deep in my soul, it's the right thing to do. Tracey will never stop trying to steal my moments. My parents will never see me the way I want them to, the way I deserve. So tomorrow, Scott will make the call to have her fired, and I will go no contact with all three of them.

My heart aches for Savannah. Maybe she would have been an ally. Maybe things would have been different if she hadn't died. Maybe we all took her death a little hard and it changed us all. Of course it changed us all.

But for the sake of the babies in my belly, I will protect their mother’s peace.

Tonight, I'll mourn the family I could have had. But tomorrow, I'll pour my love and energy into the family I have now.

And that's enough.