Page 34

THIRTY-FOUR

Blake

Boston is still cool in May, but my suit jacket is enough to keep me comfortable.

It’s been a long couple of days meeting with the team, talking to management, and getting a feel for the organization.

It’s a big, vibrant city with a huge hockey following. There are some incredible players on the team too, guys I could learn a lot from. I didn’t get to meet the head coach but the general manager and VP of hockey operations are smart guys, with good reputations in the hockey world. Under any other circumstances, I would be beside myself with excitement.

Anson has been talking a mile a minute since we left the meeting with the team, giving me details I can’t quite muster up much interest in.

A solid two-year, seven-figure contract.

A bonus to get me through the summer since I’ll have to move and they understand my Rebels salary isn’t enough to cover expenses like that.

Even some kind of housing allowance for six months to help me get acclimated and give me time to figure out where I want to live.

There are a lot of details that make my head spin.

Mostly, I’m tuning him out.

The money sounds amazing, but everything else is just… background noise.

Without Rowan here to share this with me, I don’t actually give a fuck.

If we can’t work things out, I’ll probably sign the contract because it would be stupid not to, but it doesn’t feel like a win.

I essentially traded Rowan for my NHL dreams a decade ago, and that got me nowhere. How can I choose my career over her a second time? Especially now that I know just how much she means to me. How much I love her. How everything feels empty and meaningless unless she’s at my side.

If she needs to follow her dreams, then maybe it’s time to put mine to bed.

I’ve been chasing that elusive golden ring for ten long years. With very little to show for it.

Maybe it’s time to just walk away and focus on what’s important.

Rowan. Starting a family with her.

A future that doesn’t include hockey.

It hurts even thinking about walking away from hockey, but it feels like it’s time for me to make some changes.

“How about we get some dinner and go over the fine print?” Anson suggests.

“I can’t,” I reply. “I’m flying back to L.A.”

“L.A.?” He looks confused. “I thought you were going back to Phoenix.”

“I have some loose ends to tie up in L.A. first.”

He frowns. “Please tell me this isn’t about that girl—your ex.”

“She’s not a girl , she’s a woman. And she’s not my ex. She’s my current. And my future.” That’s not completely true, but I’m not going to let him minimize what I feel for her. “And we have to talk before I can decide anything.”

“Dude. This has been the goal since day one—and now you’re going to fuck around because of a woman?”

“I’m not fucking around,” I say as patiently as I can. “We’re a couple, and we need to discuss life-changing decisions together. You don’t make big decisions without your wife, right? And anyway, I’d like to see if the Phantoms come back with an offer before I sign anything. We have to go through the whole process.”

“Right, of course.” He nods, probably realizing I’m serious and not going to back down. “I’ll reach out to the Phantoms ASAP. But we don’t want to let this offer sit too long. It’s a lot of money, Blake.”

It is.

And if Rowan won’t take me back, give me yet another chance, then I’ll sign the damn contract. No reason to be alone, miserable, and broke.

But the first thing I’m going to do is everything I can to make her change her mind. If that means leaving hockey now, then I will. If the Phantoms offer me a one-year contract, I’ll try to make her see how much that money could change our lives, and I’ll use as much of it as necessary to try to get her out of her contract without costing her the job she loves so much.

If not, then we’ll sneak around for one season and then I’ll be done.

“You gonna marry her?” Anson asks as we head for the airport.

“What?” I cock my head.

I haven’t gotten that far yet.

Still too much for us to work out.

“If that’s the plan, you should do it now, before you sign anything, so they’ll move her too. Otherwise, since you guys don’t live together, she’ll have to move herself. Assuming you’re going to Boston, of course. Maybe the Phantoms will surprise us with a counteroffer.”

“I’d prefer to stay in L.A.,” I say. “Even if it’s less money.”

He’s quiet for a beat.

“All right. Then I guess I’ll have to polish up my negotiation skills.”

Whatever.

I don’t really care.

All I want right now is to get back to Rowan.

I will beg, borrow, grovel, plead—whatever I have to do to win her back.

I don’t really have a plan when I land in L.A. We don’t have a rental car anymore, Bodi’s gone back to Phoenix, and Rowan not only doesn’t know I’m coming, but she’s also currently not speaking to me.

I rent a car and head for her place.

I don’t know what I’m going to say but I have to see her, talk to her, try to open the lines of communication.

I tried texting her but she’s blocked my number, and that just annoys me.

There’s always the chance I’m going to be playing for the Phantoms next year, and if that’s the case, we’re going to have to be civil to each other. I know she was hurt that I kept a big secret from her, but it wasn’t done maliciously.

I’m fucking crazy in love with her.

And I’ll do anything to make it right.

I park on the street in front of her building and ring the buzzer.

I’m glad she has good security where she lives but tonight it’s frustrating. Especially when she doesn’t answer. I buzz again, tapping my foot impatiently. It’s completely plausible that she’s simply not home, but part of me wonders if she’s up there using the security camera to watch me. Ignoring me. Hoping I’ll go away.

I look up to where I think the cameras are.

“I love you,” I say slowly and succinctly. “And I’ll be back.”

Then I turn and jog back to my car. I don’t need someone to see me and think I’m a stalker or something.

Damn.

I need to find a hotel for the night and then try again in the morning.

I’m not leaving until we talk.

I open a web browser on my phone to look for a nearby hotel that isn’t overly expensive. As I’m searching, a message pops up on my phone.

It’s the internal messaging the Phantoms use to communicate.

This one is from Autumn Nicholls, which means it’s official business.

“Ms. Barrowman would like to see you in her office tomorrow morning at 9:30 a.m. I can book a flight for you if you’ve already left town.”

That’s interesting.

They’re willing to fly me back to L.A. for a meeting?

I quickly type out a response.

“I’m in town for one more day. I can meet with her before I head home.”

“Great. Do you need a hotel room or anything? I’m happy to set that up.”

Huh. This is getting more interesting.

But it’s also convenient.

“That would be great. Thank you.”

“Hang tight—I’ll email you the details and a confirmation as soon as it’s done.”

Not like I have anywhere to go.

I’m curious about what she wants, since contracts and such would go through Drake Riser, the GM, and not Harper personally.

It occurs to me someone may have found out about Rowan and me, and Rowan’s in some kind of trouble, but I’ll throw myself under the bus for her if I have to. Hell, I’ll retire right fucking now if that’s what it takes.

But it doesn’t make sense that they’re offering to pay for a hotel room for me if they’re just going to reprimand me or something.

I feel a spark of excitement—there might be a contract forthcoming—until I remember that Rowan and I can’t be together if we both work for the organization.

Damn.

This hurts almost as much as losing Rowan.

Almost.

But I’m not making the same mistake again.

I’m putting her first this time, no matter what.