Page 3 of Playing With Forever (Hollow Point #4)
“Human,” I rudely interrupted her. “This is a big decision, one that will likely tear your heart to shreds and challenge your marriage. It could also be the most beautiful, fulfilling venture you and Brice ever embark on. These children need good, strong, smart people in their lives. They need love and compassion and understanding. They need generous and selfless people who will provide for them. But it’s not for the faint of heart.
Have you spoken to your cousin Jason and his wife? They adopted.”
“No.”
“May I ask why you haven’t?”
“I love my family,” she strangely started.
Her love for her family and theirs for her could never be called into question.
“They mean well, but they love me so deeply that they cannot hide their pain for me and Brice. They know how badly I want a family. Hell, my own sister, Addy, tried to hide her pregnancy from me because she was worried my feelings would be hurt since she and Hadley were both pregnant and I wasn’t. ”
Adalynn Durum might’ve been the sweetest, most sensitive out of the Walker siblings. Though none of the women were Walkers anymore, the sentiment stood.
As mentioned, I very much liked Quinn, as I did everyone in the Walker, Lenox, Clark, and McCoy clan.
However, I was not friends with the younger women in that I was older than them.
Not old enough to be their mothers—though Addy and Hadley weren’t much older than my boys—but old enough that while our paths crossed frequently at the center, there were times, like last night, I did see and interact with them, to be their contemporaries.
They were all starting families, and I had raised mine.
Which made this conversation out of the ordinary but not unwelcome.
“I remember,” I prompted her to continue.
“And I know you’ll tell me the truth.”
“Yes, Quinn, I’ll tell you the truth,” I confirmed.
“And I knew you’d understand.” After saying that, she jerked her shoulders back. “Not that my family doesn’t. But their priority is me. Shit,” she muttered. “That makes them sound selfish and?—”
“Quinn, sweetheart, I know your family. I know the last thing they are is selfish. But you’re correct, their priority is you, and in this case, it should be.
They understand the difficulties you’ll face, and they want what any loving family wants—you and Brice to have everything you want.
That includes the two of you being happy. ”
“We’re not giving up,” she declared. “Fertility treatments are expensive. But those options aren’t off the table.
It’s just that this is something we’re considering.
And not just until we can have a biological child, if that’s what’s meant for us.
I’m just scared. Really scared I’m not strong enough. ”
“You’re strong enough,” I told her.
“You think?”
How this woman in front of me could even question her strength was beyond me.
“No, Quinn, I don’t think—I know you are.
I also know the capacity of love you and Brice have to give, and as I said, you giving it would be a blessing to any child who was placed in your care.
I know that once you’ve thought on this, you’ll come to the understanding that the love you give, for however long you have to give it, will be the balm to the heartache.
Any child placed in your care will not only have you and Brice but also the entirety of your family.
That isn’t a blessing, Quinn; that’s a miracle. ”
I couldn’t help but return the beautiful smile she graced me with.
“You’re right. I am strong enough. We’re strong enough. Not only me and Brice but my family as well.”
Yes, they were all strong enough. But more importantly, Quinn was; she was much stronger than I’d been at her age, wiser too. And her husband was everything mine hadn’t been.
“Indeed you all are.”
Her expression changed to one I wasn’t sure I liked.
“You left your car at the bar last night,” she told me, something I’d very well (stupidly) done. “Everything okay?”
“Yes. Fine. I was too busy playing pool and not paying attention to how many drinks I’d had.”
That was the truth and the reason I hadn’t followed Evan to his house and my need for an Uber this morning to take me back to Balls Deep.
“Next time, don’t waste money on ride share. We always have plenty of DDs; one of us can give you a ride home.”
There wouldn’t be a next time, so I readily agreed.
“That’s a very generous offer. I’ll take you up on it.”
Quinn twisted her wrist, glanced at her watch, then declared, “Crap, I’m late for family dinner.” She took her feet and waited for me to do the same. After that, she gave me a blinding smile. “Thank you.”
“Anytime.”
“See you Friday,” she announced on her way to the door.
“Yes, I’ll be here,” I unnecessarily answered since she hadn’t asked a question.
I sat back down, looked at my phone, and saw two texts from my youngest son, Kane.
Text one: Sorry Mamalious, I can’t come up this weekend.
Text two: Don’t be mad. I miss you.
I wanted to be mad, but my boy was busy—they both were.
As much parental pride I had knowing I’d raised two great men, that didn’t negate the loneliness.
This was not the dream I’d had for my life. At least not the part where I was enjoying the fruits of my labor alone.
I messaged Kane back: I miss you too. Please make time for your mother before I have to start laying on the guilt. I’m texting DJ; I want both my sons and Carrie at my table inside of 30 days. I’ll leave you three to work out the details. Let me know when you’ve set a date.
Five minutes had passed when my phone vibrated.
Text one: Copy that, mama bear.
Text two: No need for guilt. I picked up an extra shift this weekend.
I’d long ago stopped explaining that it was annoying getting multiple texts in a row when he could simply send one long text. It boiled down to Kane’s impatience.
I refrained from once again asking why he couldn’t have chosen dentistry like his brother, or law like his father, or plumbing like my father, and instead told him what I always told him: Love you. Be safe.
With a heavy sigh and a tad bit of unpleasant jealousy, I decided it was time to call it a night. I’d been so busy trying to forget Evan I’d forgotten to eat.
Dinner, then home.
Alone.