Page 18 of Playing With Forever (Hollow Point #4)

CHAPTER ELEVEN

It had been six days since I’d picked Evan up from the hospital, and in those six days, he’d let me defer the discussion we needed to have about our argument.

The deferment wasn’t me avoiding the topic, I knew we needed to hash things out and clear the air—but it had to take a backseat to me and my staff managing the grief of the kids who knew Sam.

Not to mention the shock and concern from the parents.

Drafting an email to send out to everyone—sans Diane—had been difficult.

All of the women who ran Womens, Inc had come in to speak to me, give their condolences, and ask how they could help Diane.

Phil sat with me as I explained to them that it was unsafe for us to offer Diane or the kids any real services until the police had a better understanding of the situation.

Phil’s relief was palpable, as was the women’s outrage, but they were all accustomed to police work, so while they were unhappy, they understood.

Oh, and the email I sent out… I’d forgotten my sons were both on the center’s newsletter list, so they’d both received the lengthy message I’d sent out about how heartbroken we all were at the loss of one of our own, as well as the safety protocols that were in place.

That resulted in a “What the fuck is going on?” call from Kane that lasted forty-five minutes, and at no time did he calm down or stop cursing; it only ended because he was at work.

Mercifully, DJ’s call didn’t include the excessive use of four-letter words that had me cringing.

He’d limited his cursing but was still unhappy that I was once again in danger, and he made his thoughts known about how he wished I would go back to teaching—even though he loved that his mother had a big heart.

I’d had dinner at Evan’s house Wednesday night, which of course included Lindy, but she’d left straightaway after we ate to get back to painting.

Evan and I watched TV on his big sectional and made out until I started yawning.

Then he reluctantly sent me on my way after I explained I needed to be up early and wasn’t a fan of getting up earlier than I had to in order to get ready for work.

Last night, Evan took me out to dinner. Not the steak dinner he’d planned for our first date, but to an Italian place.

Frankly, I was happy I didn’t have to get dressed up after the crappy few days I had, and I thought it said a lot about Evan that he’d thought of that and taken me someplace casual and quiet.

Well, as quiet as a restaurant could get.

He was a gentleman and kissed me just inside my door, then scooted me off to get a good night’s sleep.

I wasn’t sure if I was wearing my stress on my face or if he just knew I was exhausted.

The last big thing that happened was today, Echo and Evan had come to the center to update me on what was happening with Tyler Havarth.

I figured that, after our argument on Monday, Evan brought Echo along as backup, though truthfully he didn’t need to.

I hadn’t lied when I told Evan I’d had enough time to think—once I’d gotten over my initial stubbornness and had a moment to think about the situation rationally, I understood the difference between Dameon bossing me around because he was an arrogant prick and Evan being high-handed and out of line in his delivery.

However, the emotion behind his demands was out of concern.

And that was what needed to be discussed.

But I digress; the update was not good. Tyler had run away, whereabouts—his father’s house.

I was warned again, this time gently, with a fair amount of pleading from Evan to stay away from Diana as well as Bella.

I reaffirmed that I would not go to their home, and I wouldn’t invite them to come to the Hope Center.

I promised to call them immediately if Tyler, any of the other boys he was seen with, or if Diane and Bella showed up.

Though I knew they’d also spoken with Phil and got the same agreement from him, so really mine was moot.

Phil would be on the phone with Evan before I could so much as pick mine up to make the call.

Evan left the center a few hours ago with the promise he’d see me later.

Now I was gathering my stuff and leaving for the weekend. This would not be a Sunday workweek for me. I needed two full days to recover. Not to mention, Sam’s funeral was on Sunday afternoon, and in the very slim chance I could talk Evan into it, I wanted to go.

I grabbed my phone off my desk, but before I dropped it in my purse, I made a decision.

All week, Evan had been watchful. He’d kept our conversations light, not touching on anything that would lead us into a heavy discussion.

He’d kissed me, but nothing else. On the nights I hadn’t seen him, he’d called me to check in, and those, too, were light and gentle.

I pulled up our text thread, which was now full of daily chats, and sent: I’d like you to stay tonight. That is, if you want to.

I held onto my phone as I turned off the light in my office and made my way through the lobby. I was just at the front door when my phone chimed: I’ll pack a bag. Need me to pick up anything on my way over?

Before I could tell my fingers to stop, I replied: condoms.

That earned me an immediate call.

I felt my face flaming when I picked up, “Hello, Evan.”

“Fuck, but I love when you purr my name.”

I hadn’t realized I’d purred, but nonetheless, I loved that he loved the way I said his name.

“I’m walking to my car now. What time will you be over?”

I heard his chuckle, then his answer, “I’m leaving my house in ten.”

Perfect, he’d be there at the same time as me.

“I’ll see you then.”

“Drive safe, baby.”

“You, too, Evan.”

We rang off, and I made my way through the parking lot.

I bleeped the lock to my Audi when I felt someone watching me.

I quickly glanced around but didn’t see anyone.

Though the feeling didn’t subside. I would swear there was someone there; I just couldn’t see them because they didn’t want to be seen.

It wasn’t until I was halfway home that the feeling started to wane, but it wasn’t until I saw Evan’s Ford at the curb in front of my house did I feel safe.

“Damn, Josie, that was delicious.”

Suddenly feeling weirdly shy from his compliment, I looked down at the mostly eaten pork chop on my plate and said, “Glad you liked it.”

Fried pork chops were my boys' favorite and mine, too.

“Is there a reason you’re talking to your plate, baby?” he asked gently.

Right. He was finished eating, it was time to get into the heavy.

I lifted my gaze and nodded.

“We should get this over with now,” I started.

“Josie, let me clean up dinner first.”

I loved the way he said my name.

I nodded, then shook my head. “This’ll be quick. Then we can clean up and enjoy the rest of our night.”

“Alright, however you wanna play it.”

Evan settled back in his chair. No signs he was unhappy I’d made a statement that contradicted what he wanted to do.

He wasn’t annoyed that my opinion on when we should talk differed from his.

He in no way, shape, or form looked like he was gearing up to throttle me for daring to want to do something he’d said he didn’t want to do.

And that right there was why I wasn’t angry about our argument.

“The higher Dameon climbed on the corporate ladder, the more of an ass he became. It was his way or no way, and if I had an opinion, I was stupid. He told me what to wear when we went out to dinner with his colleagues. It started with demands veiled as suggestions until they became outright demands. He informed me what topics I was allowed to speak about, but more importantly, what I absolutely wasn’t to talk about with the people he worked with. ”

“He told you what to wear?” Evan seethed.

I ignored how good his anger on my behalf felt and pushed on. “Yes. By the end of our marriage, these dinners were frequent. And once they included the assistant—that is the first woman he cheated on me with.”

Evan’s back shot straight, and this time he wasn’t seething he was raging when he demanded, “Tell me you’re not fucking serious. That dick made you have dinner with the bitch he fucked behind your back.”

Yes, that felt wonderful—to hear but more feel his anger at the absurdity of what Dameon had put me through.

“I wish I was.”

“That motherfucking cocksucker.”

I was seeing that Evan had a mouth on him much like Kane did. I didn’t bother giving this any headspace, I’d long ago learned it was pointless to try and curb Kane’s potty mouth, and at fifty, I didn’t think I’d have much luck with Evan’s.

“Indeed. But this demands didn’t begin and end with business dinners.

For instance,” I waved at the plates on the table.

“He hated fried pork chops, said they were nothing more than empty calories and full of fat, and refused to eat them. Which would’ve been fine if his refusal didn’t include the boys and me not being able to eat them, and they’re our favorite.

By the end of our marriage, he was bossy and overbearing in every way.

At least with me, but it had started to leak into how he behaved with the boys.

Neither of them liked it, they really didn’t like the way he spoke to me, and in the end, it was another reason I divorced him.

“Which brings us back to the second time he cheated and DJ kicked him out. I’d like to say I would’ve been strong enough not to give in when Dameon came crawling back, carrying on about how he was sorry, it was a mistake, and he’d never do it again.

But the truth is, I’d allowed myself to be conditioned to giving him his way in the interest of not fighting. ”

“Josie, I’m gonna say this as gently as I can, but that motherfucker conditioned you—you didn’t allow it, baby. When a man tells a woman what she can wear, what she can say, and what her and his children can eat, that’s called abuse.”

Evan didn’t know the half of it.

But yes, I’d had to come to terms with the fact that I had indeed endured a verbally abusive relationship.

“You’re right. And thankfully, my boys were shielded from most of it, but not all.

That’s my cross to bear, and you can try to absolve me the same way I can tell you that you’ve raised a perfect, beautiful, polite, self-assured, talented young lady, and you did that all on your own, and you should be proud, yet you will still find fault in her upbringing and blame yourself. ”

He nodded his understanding.

“About Monday,” I started.

“I was out of line,” he interjected.

“Perhaps,” I allowed. “But you had no idea I’d react the way I did because you didn’t know I’d have a visceral reaction to being told what to do.

Now that you know, I don’t think you’ll come at me like that again but instead come to me and discuss what you need from me.

But I need you to know that after you left Monday and I had a minute to breathe, I understood the difference between Dameon being an ass and you being worried.

I don’t want you to think you’ll be paying for my ex’s sins for the duration of our relationship. ”

“I appreciate you letting me off the hook, Josie. But that doesn’t excuse me storming into your office.

I should’ve taken a minute to calm down.

I also shouldn’t’ve made you pay for my family’s shit and dysfunction.

I also said something pretty shitty about taking me as I come.

And while that may be partially true, it’s not the whole truth, and bottom line, it was a fucked thing to say. I apologize.”

I didn’t mean to blink, but I couldn’t help it. In all my years of marriage, Dameon had never apologized for anything other than the times I caught him cheating. Not that those were real admissions of wrongdoing and remorse, but he’d said the words ‘I’m sorry’ twice in our years together.

“I hope you get I’m?—”

“It feels really good to have the man I’m coming to care a great deal about,” I started, using his words from Monday. “Be man enough to own up to something he’s done, even if he doesn’t need forgiveness.”

“I take it your ex wasn’t big on apologies.”

“Just when his wife caught him fucking other women.”

Evan’s head twitched, then he smiled, and I knew why.

“Don’t think I’ve ever heard you say fuck, baby.”

Yes, well, Kane says it enough for the entire population of Georgia. Add you into the mix, and the two of you have the Eastern Seaboard covered.

“I’d like to meet your sons.”

I blinked away the sudden wetness that was gathering in my eyes.

“I’d like that,” I whispered.

“We’ll make it happen. You, me, the boys, Carrie, and Lindy. Either here or my house, we’ll do a big family dinner.”

A family dinner.

Family.

And he remembered Carrie.

Lindy and my boys together.

“My boys will love Lindy. DJ will big brother her to death. Kane will, too, but he’ll tease her relentlessly like he does with Carrie.

And Carrie will pretend to be annoyed with their antics, but she loves when we’re all together.

She lost her parents when she was in college, so we’re all she has, and she’s not stingy with her love. She’ll adore Lindy.”

When I was done, Evan was smiling, but it looked almost sad.

“I could fall in love with you.” His rumbly tone felt like velvet when it hit me. “I don’t wanna freak you out, but I’m pretty sure my girl already does, and you give her brothers however they come to her, she’ll never let you go, Josie.”

I could fall in love with you, too, I thought.

“I don’t want to be let go.”

“Good, baby, because Lindy’s not the only one planning on keeping you.”

I stared at the man sitting across from me, wondering if I’d just lied to myself— could I love him, or was I already falling?

“Set that up soon,” he ordered.

“Soon, Evan, I promise.”

And I would. I’d call the boys tomorrow and demand a visit. Not that I’d have to demand anything once I told them I’d met someone, both of them would make the trek to Hollow Point.

“I’ll get out and clean up. You want a glass of wine or more another water.”

I hesitated. I knew he saw the wine sitting on the counter, but he’d also said his ex liked to drink.

“I know you’re not Celeste, just like you know I’m not that dickweasel. You don’t pay for her sins. I don’t pay for his. Now, would you like me to bring you a glass of wine?”

“Yes, please.”

“Go get comfortable.”

I went to the couch and got comfortable. Evan brought me my wine. After that, he cleaned up dinner. Then he got comfortable with me on the couch.

And this date beat out all the rest of them, and it still wasn’t over.