Page 16 of Playing With Forever (Hollow Point #4)

“Indeed, I heard every one of them, including the tone in which you said them. But in case you’re not hearing me, I’ll be clear—I appreciate you filling me in, however, I do not appreciate you charging in and making declarations about who will be allowed into the center.

Furthermore, and possibly the most important, your ordering me to stay away from the Havarth family is entirely unwelcome and a gross overstep on your part. ”

Evan’s gaze moved to Phil. Mine followed, and I was surprised to see Phil staring at me in disappointment. However, his surprise and possible censure didn’t change the fact that Evan had no right to tell me what I was or wasn’t going to do.

“Phil, would you mind giving us some privacy?” Evan asked, but the question was merely a courtesy to cover his demand.

Phil stood, keeping his gaze firmly planted on mine.

“I say this with respect, Josie. You might not appreciate Evan’s tone, but he’s right—about all of it.

Before he came in here, I was telling you the same thing, using different words.

And I was saying them without all the details.

If I’d known what Evan knew, I would’ve straight-up told you you were not going anywhere near that family.

Not Tyler, not Diane, and unfortunately not Bella.

You’re you. You see someone in trouble, and you want to help.

No, you need to help. What you do not see is the danger.

I’ve seen shit go from bad to the worst it can get in the blink of an eye.

Evan’s seen it, Echo, Phoenix, Dalton. You need to trust us to keep you safe while you’re doing what you do—helping people at their lowest. Again, respect, but now’s not the time to be stubborn. ”

With that successful dressing down, Phil skirted by Evan and gently closed the door behind him.

I was in no way in the right frame of mind to have any logical conversation with Evan. I was heartsick for a family, heartbroken that a young life was taken, pissed at Evan—not to mention now Phil—and I was gearing up to dig my heels in when perhaps I shouldn’t.

But that was me, or at least the me after years of being made to feel small and not heard so my husband could feel big.

This was the me after my divorce—the woman who would never again be told what to do, how to behave at company functions, or be put in any position where my opinions and thoughts didn’t matter.

“Josie—”

I held my hand up to stop Evan from speaking. He closed his mouth but clearly did so unhappily.

“Now’s not the time for us to have a conversation. You don’t know me well enough to know you coming in here guns blazing, making demands, would set me off the way it did. Before I say something I don’t mean, I need you to leave.”

Evan didn’t leave he stared at me.

“Before I walk out that door.” He jabbed an angry finger at my office door. “I need your promise you will not go see Diane.”

“Evan—”

“ You don’t know me well enough to know, me coming in here—this after I tore out of the station the second I hung up with Phoenix because my goddamn stomach was in knots and I needed to see for myself that you were behind your desk safe because Phil’s right—shit like this goes from bad to tragedy in a heartbeat.

I’ve been a cop for a long time. But before that, I was the brother of an addict.

I watched my sister go down to the shit she injected and snorted.

I have firsthand experience with all the varied ways drugs ruin lives.

I know, because I’ve been there, how dealers do not care who they hurt or who gets caught in the crossfire.

Last night Sam died to this shit. Seventeen, totally innocent, nothing to do with his father or drugs, and he’s now on a slab in the morgue.

” I flinched at that. “Yeah, Josie, that right there, your reaction. The way I know your heart’s so damn big, so pure, all I felt was fear you’d go to Diane’s house before I could get here.

Fear , Josie. So while you’re taking your time to calm down because you don’t like my reaction to the woman who’s coming to mean a great deal to me, being involved—however minutely—in a case I’m working, think on that.

Think about how the fuck I felt knowing you were going to rush in to help a family when I know done to my bones is going to put her in danger. ”

“Evan,” I tried to cut in, but he talked over me.

“And you’re done thinking, and you’re still pissed at me for coming in here when my only thought was to get to you, I don’t know what to tell you beyond—this is me.

The real me. We’re both old enough to understand you don’t get to pick out the parts you like and discard the rest. If we’ve got any shot in hell to make this work, I take you as you come, and you return the favor. ”

“Evan—”

“You wanted me to leave.” He turned toward the door. “I’m leaving.”

Crap!

He was already out in the hall when I got up and rushed to the door. Unfortunately, my throat clogged, and the words I wanted to say wouldn’t escape.

But when I sat back down, everything he said filtered through my head, every facial expression he made came at me in slow motion—the pain in his eyes when he spoke of his sister, the flashes of fear, the squints of anger.

Fear.

For me.

My goddamn stomach was in knots.

Fear, Josie.

The woman who’s coming to mean a great deal to me.

Then Phil.

Again, respect, but now’s not the time to be stubborn.

I picked up my phone and went to my text thread with Evan: I promise I won’t go see Diane.

His cold response was immediate: Appreciated.

Damn.

I rubbed my temples.

Just damn.