Page 9 of Perfect Storm (Toronto Thunder #1)

“You talk to Riley every day,” Landry said.

Aidan made a face. “I mean, I talked to Riley about Mo.”

It was annoying how Landry didn’t even look even the tiniest bit surprised. “Yeah?”

“I guess you figured it out, too,” Aidan said.

Landry shot him a look. “Dude, you literally held out, not for your own contract, but for Mo’s. That’s not like you.”

“So everyone keeps saying,” Aidan muttered. “And that was three years ago.”

“Yeah, and you pined for him for awhile. Probably took awhile to figure out why exactly you missed him so much, yeah?”

Aidan expected to feel another pulse of annoyance at how well Landry knew him, but instead, all he felt was seen and heard and understood. A warm and cozy feeling, like a fuzzy blanket, enveloping him.

“Yeah,” Aidan said. “And when I figured it out, it wasn’t like I wanted to feel that way.”

“I felt that way too about Riley at first. Like, what do you mean I want him? I shouldn’t want him.”

Aidan considered agreeing with that assessment, but the truth was, he’d left those feelings behind a long time ago. “It’s a mind fuck, for sure.”

“Worse even, ’cause it didn’t turn out for you the way it did for us,” Landry said gently.

“Ugh, how do you even know? It could have been great. It could have been awesome. Mo could’ve told me he loves me too.”

“He probably did,” Landry said. “He probably told you he loves you as a friend.”

Aidan grimaced. It hadn’t been fair. It still wasn’t fair.

“As for how I knew, it was obvious, dude. You tried to pretend you weren’t fucked up when we got here, but it was pretty obvious.”

Aidan finished rinsing off the pan and set it on the rack to dry. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Would you have actually talked about it?” Landry raised an eyebrow.

I told Levi. I talked about it with Levi.

“No,” Aidan agreed. Because it wasn’t like he’d wanted to talk about it with Levi. Levi had practically harassed him into it. He’d ended up doing it only because it was the best worst choice.

“Well, I’d imagine you still don’t want to,” Landry said, and yep, bingo, he was right there, too. “But Riley would kill me if I didn’t say that we’re here for you, no matter what.”

“Thanks,” Aidan said, discovering he actually meant it.

He’d tackled so much of this alone. Sure, he’d known he could talk to Riley and Landry about it, but the thought had never occurred to him.

The first person he was going to tell was always going to be Morris, even if it didn’t turn out the way he’d hoped it would.

“And I’d kill me if I didn’t add that it’s okay to be whatever you are. That you don’t have to always know right away about who that is,” Landry added.

“Was it weird for you, realizing it so late?” Aidan asked. Because it had been weird for him. He’d lived in denial for several additional months because he’d been sure that if he was actually queer, that he liked men like that, because if it was true, he’d have known before he was in his thirties.

“Oh yeah. Threw me for a huge fucking loop. Kept thinking, was I just believing it was okay for my brothers to be gay but not me? Fucked me up for awhile.”

“Yeah. That thought crossed my mind, too.” He told himself not to ask but then he couldn’t help himself. “How early did you know about Logan and Levi?”

Landry sighed. “Logan took longer; he was mid-teens when he finally came out to the family. But Levi proudly declared it at eleven.”

“Of course he did.”

Landry grinned, pride radiating from every pore. “Levi’s never bothered fucking around. He wants something, he wants to do something? He just does it.”

He sure had. And apparently what he wanted now was Aidan, and Aidan couldn’t even pretend it wasn’t mutual.

When he’d finally come to terms with what he felt for Mo, he’d promised he wouldn’t live in denial any longer.

Pretending that he wasn’t attracted and interested in Levi would be lying. Even if it was only to himself.

“Pretty admirable,” Aidan said.

“Yeah,” Landry said. “I hope that attitude serves him through this contract mess.”

Aidan found himself hoping for the same.

And hoping a little, despite his discomfort, for Levi to end up in Toronto.

Later that day, he texted Levi back.

It was honestly my pleasure to have you, he sent. And you’d better put me on your schedule. A solid week. And next time, you won’t have to debate about waking me up.

Aidan hoped his meaning was clear enough—Levi wouldn’t have to, because he’d already be in Aidan’s bed—and he couldn’t help the smile when Levi sent a whole string of emojis, including the blushing smile, the dancing man, and the fire.

Yeah, Levi was right about that. It would be hot.

Riley and Landry left a few days later, extracting promises that if Aidan needed them, they’d be booking the next flight out from Charleston.

But Aidan knew they wanted to get on with their offseason training program, and he could hardly blame them for that.

He was working hard, too, putting in long hours in the gym he’d added to the house.

Riley had made him promise not to be such a loner, and he’d actually made good on his promise, texting Avery Barnes.

One night, he’d invited the Barnes brothers over and they’d showed up with some of their hockey friends in tow, and it had been a good night. Another night, he and Avery had just shared a beer around their firepit, his brothers out of the house at some party he hadn’t wanted to go to.

“It’s just a bunch of younger kids, a lot of guys Charlie went to the development program with,” Avery had explained.

They’d had a chill night, sharing stories about football and hockey and their college days. Avery had gone to Michigan for two years before he’d joined the Mavericks, and so had Aidan, once upon a time.

“Ethan went to Portland U. Wanted to be his own man,” Avery explained, back against one side of his chair, legs dangling over the other side, his brown eyes full of dry humor. “Where did Riley go?”

“Stanford.” Aidan sighed. “He wanted to do his own thing too. Always has.” He’d spent enough years mourning that, and now there was nothing to do but accept—and actually embrace—it.

They’d had a nice big-brother chat and discovered a lot in common despite the ten-year difference in their ages.

So he hadn’t been totally alone.

But Aidan had been alone enough. Alone enough to really think. To start letting the truth of the situation with Morris really sink in.

It sucked. No question about it. He’d had his low points.

Cried about it, even. One night he’d railed against the unfairness of the situation, how cruel life and fate could be, to put the one man—possibly the only person he’d ever really loved—in front of him and then made sure Mo didn’t return his feelings.

But even though it didn’t feel great, Aidan did believe he was slowly beginning to work through it. Riley, Levi, and Landry were all right; now that he’d learned the truth, the bare facts of the situation, every day was a little better than the last.

He worked out and worked some of his feelings out, too. Feeling like every drip of sweat that fell was changing him, too.

Aidan couldn’t say he didn’t think about Levi.

He did. On purpose and also in passing, whenever his ongoing contract situation came up on ESPN.

When it got too hard to use his stable of Mo fantasies for jerking off, he thought about that kiss in the kitchen and imagined if neither had pulled away.

And that thought kept him fueled for a whole bunch of jerkoff sessions.

Three weeks after Riley and Landry left, he was chilling in bed, exhausted after a harder than usual afternoon workout, TV turned down low, and his phone dinged.

Rolling over, Aidan grabbed his phone, glancing at the screen. He’d kept expecting that at some point he might hear from Levi. Maybe even Levi making an offer to come back to Michigan. But he’d been quiet, apparently laser-focused on his contract negotiations.

Aidan knew he wouldn’t be hearing from Morris.

Not anytime soon, anyway. The way they’d left things in Vegas, Mo had said he’d give Aidan as much time as he needed.

And while Aidan did feel like he was getting somewhere, he wasn’t ready to open that wound back up again.

Not yet. Not until it was a little more healed over.

It wasn’t Levi and it wasn’t Mo.

It was Landry.

I told Levi to tell you, but he’s being weird about it. Levi signed with the Thunder this afternoon, so I’m pulling a classic Aidan overprotective-big-brother move. You’ll let him stay with you, right? At least until he finds his own place in Toronto?

Aidan took a breath and then another, trying to calm his suddenly racing heart.

Levi was coming to Toronto.

Levi hadn’t wanted to text Aidan to tell him.

It was impossible not to wonder what that meant.

When Levi had left to go meet with his agent, had he known that Toronto was a strong possibility? Was that why he’d left? So Aidan couldn’t overhear and talk him out of coming to Toronto? Talk him into it?

Did he think Aidan wouldn’t be happy about it? That he wouldn’t welcome him?

Fuck, this was going to be weird.

Good, but weird.

Aidan exhaled, slowly, fingers hovering over his screen.

Unsure what he wanted to say. Knew what he should say.

Three years ago when Riley had signed with the Condors, he’d called Landry and essentially demanded that Riley move in.

Insisted that Landry needed to become Aidan’s extension in Charleston.

Thank God his best friend had been too smart to do that.

He wanted Levi to know he was welcome. That Aidan was glad he’d be there to watch his back.

He really was a fantastic tackle and would solidify the offensive line.

He even really liked the guy. He was chill and funny and always himself; he’d slot into the locker room like he’d always been there.

There were no downsides to this, except for the fact that the last time they’d seen each other, they’d been kissing in Aidan’s kitchen.

Except for the other fact that they’d promised they’d have sex in a year.

The next time they’d see each other, it would not be next year, not in Aidan’s kitchen, or on Aidan’s patio, and he wouldn’t be sharing this exact bed with Aidan.

It would be in six weeks, and it would be in Aidan’s condo in Toronto, which was big as condos in Toronto went, but not really big when you compared it to just about anything else.

Aidan hesitated just long enough he felt absolutely shitty.

Landry didn’t know about the kiss or the sex pact. He only knew Levi was his younger brother and Aidan was his best friend.

Aidan was going to do the right thing, if it killed him. And considering what he’d spent a fraction of the last month fantasizing about, it might.

Sure, he texted back to Landry, of course he can stay with me. Aidan hesitated some more. He should switch over to his convo with Levi and ask him this directly, but he wanted to come armed with more info, if he was going to talk to Levi.

When he was going to talk to Levi.

Why was Levi weird about talking to me? he sent to Landry. Did he not think I’d be fucking thrilled to have him on my team?

Something about overstepping, Landry texted back. But I’m gonna let you work it out.

It was right there, between the lines. Landry being a fucking adult, just like Aidan knew he could be—mature and full of honest communication—telling him without telling him, you’d better work this out, bud.

And Aidan was going to goddamn try.

First, he gave himself a very firm talking-to.

You will be normal. You will be friendly. But not too friendly. No mentions of beds, other than the guest room bed at your condo that he’s going to sleep in, alone.

No flirting. No kissing. And definitely, not under any circumstances, any mention of sex. Now or a year from now.

Then Aidan opened his texts with Levi. Ignored the last thing he’d sent. Ignored the last thing Levi had sent. That string of emojis that made it so clear they’d both had the same thing on their minds.

Hey, he said instead, calling on his many years of NFL captain behavior, I heard the great news that you’re coming to Toronto. Couldn’t be more excited. My guest room is all yours for as long as you need it.

Aidan decided that was clear enough. The last thing he’d sent Levi had hinted that the next time they saw each other, they’d share a bed. But now? It was not happening.

Not now, anyway.

Levi replied almost immediately. A single thumbs-up emoji. That was it.

Aidan flopped back on the bed. Annoyed and additionally annoyed with himself for being annoyed.

He had enough shit on his plate, he did not need Levi to twist him up in circles.

If that was even what he was doing.

But before Aidan could work up a good head of steam, another text arrived.

Camp is gonna be so sick. Flynn-Banks FTW!

It made him feel better and somehow also worse.

Because the other Flynn-Banks was Riley and Landry and they totally kicked ass on and off the field, and Aidan didn’t want that, of course. He was still in love with Mo. But he knew that wasn’t what Levi meant.

He shouldn’t even want Levi to mean it that way.

But he was afraid he kinda did.

Aidan rolled over, groaning.

The next six weeks were gonna pass way too slowly.