Page 39 of Perfect Storm (Toronto Thunder #1)

“Oh, you will,” Levi boasted. Maybe Aidan loved Mo and not him, but who was he here with now? Who had he brought brunch to, just because he’d seen a dish on the menu he thought might be in his wheelhouse? Levi, that was who.

“Probably,” Aidan grumbled, but the corner of his mouth was tilting upwards, like he couldn’t really help smiling—even when he didn’t want to give Levi the satisfaction.

“So what did he say?”

“Who? My agent?” Aidan pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge. Toyed with the cap. “Oh, all the right stuff. The league’s more accepting these days, the public barely even blinks at a coming-out party now, etcetera, etcetera. He’s right, I’m sure, and I didn’t think he’d say anything else.”

“It’s a brave new world,” Levi said. He finished his food. Patted his stomach happily. “Now I’m gonna go flop onto the couch in a food coma.”

Aidan shot him a sideways look. Tried to be all subtle about it, but he was looking. “You wanna play some Mario Kart?”

“Thinking you’re gonna win because I’m full of brisket and biscuits? Bro, I’m from Texas. We were raised on this shit. I’m still sharp, food coma or no.”

“No, no. Just . . .” Aidan half grimaced and Levi couldn’t figure out why he’d made that face. Not until he finished his thought. “I just thought it might be fun.”

“Fun? Fun? Who are you and what have you done with Aidan Flynn?” Levi crowed, smacking him on the shoulder.

Aidan’s smile was slightly self-conscious, but Levi loved every bit of it.

“You’re the worst.”

You love me. Levi almost said it, but he stopped himself just in time.

Thank God for small miracles, at least.

Levi hadn’t been lying. No matter what he’d stuffed himself with, he was still sharp, beating Aidan so many times in a row Aidan actually lost track.

He was distracted, more than he wanted to admit to, by Levi’s big warm thigh, exposed in another pair of shorts, bright magenta this time, and the way it pressed against his own.

He was in jeans, but he could feel the heat of Levi’s skin through the thick fabric. It reminded him of sleepy, slow mornings, and how Levi had spent the last few nights in his bed.

How he was already wanting to coax Levi into it, even though it was the middle of the afternoon.

Finally Aidan tossed his controller down. Frustrated but not particularly surprised. “I do not have it today,” he said with a frustrated grimace.

Aidan knew he wasn’t particularly good at taking time off, even on scheduled days off, but he was pretty sure that wasn’t why he felt so antsy, tension crawling under his skin.

It was because Levi made him feel things when they were together that he’d long since dismissed as fantasies straight from bodice-ripping romance novels.

Sex couldn’t possibly be that good, because sex had never been that good for him.

“Bro, you really don’t,” Levi said, turning to him. He looked concerned, which was actually embarrassing. “I thought your meeting went okay?”

“It did.” Of course Levi thought him being tense was about his agent. It was cute he was worried, but that didn’t change how Aidan wanted to sink through the couch and die.

“Well, it’s a big step,” Levi said, touching his knee. “It’s okay to be stressed about it.”

Aidan wanted to scream. Especially when Levi’s hand lingered on his thigh.

Was it worse to admit he was not stressed about his sexuality—at least not in the way Levi seemed to think—than to come clean about what actually had him worked up? Aidan didn’t know.

“But I’m not really,” Aidan admitted.

Levi flashed him a confused look. “No?”

He told himself not to do it. It was not chill. They were hanging out like regular bros on the couch, playing video games. Like he’d do with Dawson or Landry. Or one of a dozen teammates over the years. Doing it now would be blurring some lines that hadn’t been blurred yet.

Aidan did it anyway, leaning over and pressing his mouth against Levi’s. Levi seemed surprised for half a second, but then he melted into the kiss.

Levi tasted like brunch, and underneath it something so distinctly Levi—a flavor it felt like he’d been chasing for months now.

It barely took a minute of increasingly deep kissing and heavy breathing for Levi to get the picture.

He pulled back, Aidan wanting to chase his mouth with his own, but he held himself back, barely. “That’s why you were worked up and distracted. You were horny.”

It was still embarrassing. Even more now that Levi had said it out loud, in that soft delighted voice.

Aidan didn’t answer. Didn’t trust himself not to word vomit all about it onto Levi’s bare thighs.

Just sank to his knees, tugged down Levi’s micro-shorts and took his half-hard cock in his mouth.

Every time he did this, he liked it more and thought he got a little better at it. He wasn’t entirely sure those two things weren’t somehow intertwined. But then Levi sank his fingers into Aidan’s hair, and he couldn’t think at all.

There was only the weight of Levi’s dick in his mouth, sliding deeper and then deeper still. The bitterness of his precome coating Aidan’s tongue.

He felt lightheaded with it. With how good it was, and he wasn’t even the one squirming with pleasure.

Levi’s thighs tensed and the grip on Aidan’s hair increased, and he moaned in the back of his throat. Needing to feel Levi’s orgasm.

It hit a few seconds later, and Aidan swallowed.

“God damn.” Levi exhaled hard as Aidan rocked back on his heels. Admiring the way Levi had melted right into the couch, sleepy satisfaction in his eyes. “Guess you were horny.”

“Still horny,” Aidan whined, pretending his voice didn’t waver over the second word. It was still weird to be this into sex. To want it so much. To admit to wanting it so much. He kept half expecting Levi to make fun of him for it, but Levi only kept looking blown away by Aidan’s obvious desire.

Even now, he just gave Aidan a steady look and said, “I got you.”

Pulled Aidan back onto his lap, unbuttoned his jeans, and shoved his hand into Aidan’s underwear. It probably should have been additionally embarrassing how quick he got there, or all the noises he made as he came all over Levi’s hand. But it felt so good it was impossible to feel bad.

Jeans still undone, Aidan flopped back on the couch. Levi’s arm snaked around his shoulders, pads of his fingers brushing against the sensitive column of his neck.

“So you can say the word,” Levi teased.

“I can say horny,” Aidan said, but even he could hear the waver. It was even harder now, now that he wasn’t. Well, actually, he still kind of was. A low-level hum of desire that he’d had to learn with live with—though it wasn’t like he’d been doing a particularly good job of that.

Levi shot him a look. “It’s cute,” he said, like he’d jumped right over that Aidan barely could and settled instead on how much he liked it.

“Alright,” Aidan said, rolling his eyes, even though he was pleased, deep down.

Not worrying about being stupid or out of touch or even bad at this was more enjoyable than he’d even imagined it could be. He could be his complete dork, un-cool self with Levi, without ever having to put up the I’m-a-quarterback-in-the-NFL front.

A lot of people, even teammates, often expected the front. The act.

Levi looked at him weird when he even attempted it, and it was so much fucking easier to just drop it completely in these quiet moments.

To just be Aidan.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Levi asked.

“Sex?”

Levi laughed. “I hate to break it to you, but I’m not eighteen still. We’re gonna have to wait some more time for that. I mean, whatever’s bothering you.”

Aidan opened his mouth to argue that nothing was—at least nothing that he wanted to talk about, but Levi kept going.

“I know something is. I can see your mind going, behind your eyes. You’re always thinking, analyzing, but this is more than that.

Something you’re wrestling with. If it’s not your sexuality—”

“It’s not not my sexuality,” Aidan said, before he could stop himself.

That was the problem with relaxing around Levi. Aidan was actually, in fact, relaxed, and shit he didn’t mean to say or do kept happening.

“Then what is it?” Levi asked gently. His fingertips stroked Aidan’s neck. He’d never thought he’d like such a delicate touch, either. Thought he’d been above that since he was twelve and his parents’ marriage had imploded so spectacularly.

“I . . .I’ve never liked sex as much as I like it with you,” Aidan admitted.

He knew Levi by now. Should be sure that Levi wouldn’t freak out at that kind of confession, but Aidan tensed anyway.

He shouldn’t have worried; Levi grinned, huge and overjoyed. “I’m trying not to fist-pump here, bro.”

“I’m only surprised that you’re holding yourself back.”

Levi turned soulful brown eyes on Aidan. “I’m trying to be supportive. Don’t doubt that.”

“I don’t,” Aidan said and meant it.

“So, that’s fucking you up, then? What it means?”

Trust Levi to get right to the heart of the matter.

“Yeah. Basically. Like maybe . . .if I never understood why people went crazy for sex, because the sex I was having was only mediocre, clearly there was something that wasn’t working for me.

And what is that? Well, it’s pretty obvious what it must be. ”

“Yes and no,” Levi said.

“Oh come on, man, you know what it is. It’s that you’re a guy. Here I thought I was straight my whole life. And first there was . . .well, you know, and now you.”

“That could be it, for sure,” Levi agreed. He didn’t look particularly shocked by how Aidan would—or actually, wouldn’t—bring up Mo. “But I’m not convinced.”

“What?”

“First, I just wanna say labels don’t matter.”

Aidan shot him a look. “Seriously?”

“Seriously, bro. What does it matter what you call yourself as long as you know what you want?”

“You mean, as long as what I want is you,” Aidan said flatly.

Levi burst out laughing, delighted. “Yeah. Duh. Of course. But it’s more than that. More than just me. Bigger than just us, Aidan.”

“Right.” Aidan didn’t like that. He didn’t want it to be bigger than just this moment right here, side by side on his couch. Because if it was, then Aidan might have to find someone else who fit him like Levi did. And he really fucking didn’t want to.

“I’m just saying, labels are for other people. Not for you. You know who you are.” Levi squeezed his neck now, like he was reminding him. “But also, I thought you might be gray or demi, too.”

“What’s that?”

Levi swallowed hard. He’d been very self-assured during this entire conversation, but now he looked concerned. Like whatever he was about to say might cost him something he wasn’t quite ready to pay.

“Like, to be interested sexually in someone, your emotions have to be engaged first. And you’ve never had a serious relationship, right? Only hookups?”

“I guess. Yeah.” He’d never met anyone he wanted to know better. And sex had always felt like a whole other subject, completely removed.

“Well, maybe that’s part of it too.”

Aidan noticed that Levi had skipped right over the vital part of that explanation: that he’d been sexually attracted to Mo because he’d loved him, and that he enjoyed sex with Levi because he had feelings for him, too.

Well, if Levi didn’t want to talk about it, Aidan was okay not talking about it either. He wasn’t sure he was ready; wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready. Not again. Not the way he’d been, before.

But even as he thought it, he knew that was a lie. Another few weeks or months of having Levi like this, and he’d be more than ready. Fear gone. Ready to jump all in. Because this was so much more than he’d ever gotten with Mo? Or was it something else?

Aidan didn’t know, but he could feel it, growing sure and firm, beneath his breastbone, reminding him it existed every single time he took a breath.

“That’s . . .helpful, actually,” Aidan said.

Levi nodded, gaze serious.

“I’m gonna look that up.”

“Not really very surprising that you might,” Levi said. “And it’s just a guess. A hunch. I could be wrong. Again—labels don’t matter when you’re talking about yourself, about who you are.”

“You’re smart,” Aidan said, because he could see exactly what Levi was saying.

“Shhhh,” Levi said, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “Don’t say it too loud, bro.”

The laugh bubbled up out of Aidan, before he’d even known it was coming. And after, long after, after he’d lost three more games to Levi and actually managed to win one, he realized how much lighter he felt.

Settled, almost.

And he knew it wasn’t the conversation—though that had helped, so much—it was just Levi.