Page 21 of Peacock Me Like a Hurricane (Rise of the Resistance #2)

TAURUS

I limp into our garden covered in blood and aching. She wasn’t in the house, so I can only assume she hasn’t moved since she left the sodding note.

It was an apology and a laundry list of every damn person in the Rift she’s ever been with—something I neither wanted nor needed, but I’ll never be able to forget.

Scanning the darkness, I look for a sign that she’s still here. Moonlight shines off the water in the lush oasis that I had put in so we could enjoy the pleasant weather as the seasons turn. I wouldn’t blame her if she went inside because I didn’t leave any indication of when or if I’d be back. “Deli?”

I find her sitting on a big lounger in the middle of a lush garden. She must have done some mojo to grow this since our dips yesterday morning. I’m still a bit floored by the real magick thing, but I can’t focus on that at the moment.

Stopping at the foot of her chair, I see her look up from the folds of the big blanket she’s completely wrapped up in. She doesn’t meet my eyes and her silence is deafening as she sits perfectly still. I sigh heavily, crossing to stand beside her seat. I’m not used to her being dead silent. It’s unnerving. But I forge ahead anyway, needing to say my piece before the conversation flips to whatever excuses she’s going to make for her behavior.

“I want to make something clear before this goes any further,” I say, holding my hand up. “I don’t care if you’ve slept with the whole bloody Navy; you didn’t need to list your partners for me. I appreciate the thought, but it wasn’t necessary.”

Her eyes move to the ground, but nothing else moves, so I continue. “To me, mating is a different story. I’m a clone with an exceptionally long history of only one mate, so for me, mating is sacrosanct. Who you’ve mated with isn’t my problem—I want to stress that.”

Again, she stays quiet and still. I sigh again and push on. “That said, I should probably apologize to Wilde and Sari. As I was dismembering my thirtieth victim, it occurred to me that the way I acted earlier combined with our past made it appear that I went ballistic because of her. I didn’t.”

This time, she nods, but still doesn’t speak. I don’t know if she knows or cares that I abruptly darted out of the meeting with them, but I feel honor bound to tell her. My rude escape may cause her problems later and she deserves to know that may be coming.

“I’m bound by my sense of integrity to clear the air with them personally.” She nods again and though I feel a sense of worry creeping in, I continue. “After the issues with the whacked out blonde bint, my emotions have been close to the surface. Even the littlest thing sets me off. I imagine you feel something similar.”

Another nod.

Christ, it’s like someone cut out her bloody tongue.

“That being said, I want you to know how I feel about earlier. Then, depending on how that goes, we can discuss logistics. When we discussed your mates, and you mentioned Victor’s claim rounded out the last of them. Your taste has imminently improved, but when I heard twice in an hour that what we discussed wasn’t accurate, it finally sunk in. I felt like I was run over by a tank.”

Big red eyes from over the lip of the blanket. Another nod. Nothing else.

“My emotions—crazy and raw as they are—shut me down completely. I felt that you lied to me and my mind jumped to the conclusion that you did it on purpose. I thought you were lying by omission. It made me feel angry, betrayed, and foolish.”

The blanket shivers and I wonder how she’s breathing when she’s wrapped up like a mummy, looking silent and submissive. I can’t bloody figure it out; her note said that she was sorry. Why the hell is she sitting here like a dog on a training course? It’s as if there’s a trigger word that I haven’t said, and she doesn’t know what to do until I say it.

“Mating is such a statement of commitment to me that I can’t imagine someone ‘forgetting’ their mating bond. I wonder if one day I’ll get lied about. I also want to admit—not that it leaves me looking pleasant as an individual—that I don’t understand mating with people if you’re not going to honor that bond.”

She knew that I wouldn’t—that was the gist of that note she left. However, I don’t know how we’re ever going to get anywhere if she stays curled in that small, tight blanket with nary a word, not even to curse me for being a jackass.

“I wish I’d never...” I look at her and see a tear run from the corner of her eye down to the material, but she still doesn’t move or speak. It breaks my heart, but I have to say what I feel. “No, I won’t say that. I feel very foolish and out of touch.”

Her lashes flutter downward. Though I blocked her for hours while I went on a tear of epic proportions that I’m going to pay for later, I know that she’s got herself bottled up emotionally. Her expression is one of so much shame, regret, and sadness that I don’t know if words could tell me more than what this small section of her face is saying.

“Sometimes, I wish I’d never come back. It’s not your fault, but I may have overestimated myself. I’m having a hard time with that.” I lower myself into the chair next to hers, wincing at the lacerations and punctures all over my body. I did a number to myself tonight. “I don’t know what to do. I shouldn’t have had to hear it like that.”

Again, I get the shamed look and downcast eyes. I don’t think I can bear it anymore. I feel like I’m kicking an injured animal over and over and it keeps looking at me, pleading with me to stop the pain. “Woman, we won’t get anywhere if you sit there like a lump all night!”

She ducks further into the blanket, only her eyes visible now as she watches me suspiciously. What the hell does she think is going to happen? It’s like she’s afraid to even look at me now. “Deli, you’re going to have to come out of there. I’d come over there, but I’m having trouble.” Her eyes widen and I see the shiver again.

It makes me angry; I’m the one who was wronged and she’s hiding.

“Speak, woman!” I growl as my temper flares.

Flinching, she drops the material to reveal her mouth. Sucking in a breath, she unleashes a stream of words. “This is going to sound awful and I know it won’t make any sense to you. I forgot about her. It’s happened before, more than once, and even she’s forgotten. It’s not an excuse, but you have to understand how our mating happened and why it’s like this. I wasn’t trying to hide it; I have no reason to. You could ask her, but it probably was mentioned on purpose. There was a time when I was mated to Wilde and Alistair; Rafe was mated to Rhea, Sari, Wilde, and Alistair. Remember when Rhea and Sari went to that convention with Talia in late November?”

I nod, letting her go because there’s no stopping her now.

“Somehow, right before that, someone thought of families mating—like as a foursome. Rafe and I were going to do so with Rhea and Alistair. Sari got wind, and before we could, she and Wilde's family mated with them while they were on that trip. They didn’t even tell us beforehand—we found out about it in a blog post. Rafe and I were really hurt. We were angry and stupid, which allowed Sari to talk us into mating with her and Wilde as a family. They got everything they wanted— which I didn’t see then, but I see it now. It was a one-time, one shot deal with the entire family. She never looked at me again afterward. It hurt me to realize that I was just extra baggage. This is all my fault for dragging you back to this quagmire of idiocy, selfishness, and bullshit. I did that and I’m sorry. I can’t change that I left out that one night that was so long ago now, it feels like it didn’t even happen. I can only apologize and give you what I know to be the truth. I know I didn’t have to, but I did.”

It’s like I turned on the faucet. She keeps talking and apologizing and babbling.

What the bloody hell is wrong with her?

I look at my stiff, blood caked hands and sigh. “Why did she tell me? I can’t figure that out. If it was such an oft forgotten thing, why did she mention it and when it totally slipped past me, have Wilde mention it again? Was she trying to smack me?”

“Probably. She doesn’t bring it up—ever. It’s like it didn’t happen. Sari hasn’t looked my way for anything other than friendly stuff since. She also mated as a family with Rhea and I don’t know what went on there. I didn’t— Rafe and I never did the whole she-bang with those two. Sari wanted to do a three family thing, but Rafe and I refused. They were crazy enough as it was.”

It’s like she’s not even taking time to breathe. She’s spouting words and words, trying to get every plausible answer in before something happens.

I really don’t understand what’s going on with her, but it’s starting to scare me.

“I was honest with her about my feelings and it felt like salt in the wound.” I think about that for a moment and wonder if I was played like a Stradivarius. I look down at the absolute wreck I am and think about what’s going to happen Monday morning when Mikhail gets wind of this.

“I’d offer to help with the wounds, but I doubt you’d want me to. The offer is still there. I—I don’t want to lose you. I said I’d fight for you and I meant it. I’ve been sitting here, staring into the night, waiting. I haven’t talked with anyone or gone anywhere, but I hurt if you hurt. I don’t know why they mentioned it.” She shrinks back into the blanket again, her eyes looking concerned. They are blood red from tears, but she’s not crying. It’s like she’s holding them in and it’s burning her eyes to do so.

I keep having to stop the flow of her talking. While she’s a chatty kitty, something is off about this situation. “I’ll ask Sari when I apologize. It was clear she thought that I wouldn’t know, though.”

“I have no idea. Like I said, nothing’s been said for months and months. It didn’t even come up about her and the others until the mess with Rhea, so maybe that’s what stuck it in her head? I don’t know. I can’t figure out why it’d come up now.”

“I couldn’t breathe because I hurt so bad. After you left, I went out and killed people—a lot of them.”

She doesn’t babble for once when she says, “I know; I felt it.”

I don’t have any idea how that is possible. I had her and the golden goddess in the no-fly zone. “I broke several cardinal Company rules.”

Her expression is serious despite still being wrapped in that ridiculous getup. “Are you in trouble?”

“Not currently, but when the Company finds out, I might be. No—scratch that. They always find out and I’ll be in a mess of trouble.”

“Can I do anything? I can tell them how it was all my fault. That should help, right? I’ll take the punishment. It’s okay; I can do it. It’s my fault, anyway.”

The babbling is back.

I shake my head. She absolutely cannot take what they’d dish out, nor would I let her try. “I think I’m wanted in Cozumel. I know I’m wanted in Des Moines.”

I didn’t mention I’d terrorized the other place, not the fine citizens on this side of the Rift, did I?

“Are you going away?” Her voice is a whisper and I see her shrink down again.

“Not to Cozumel or Des Moines. The Company doesn’t let us get into the real-world hands. Will I get recalled to the training facility? I don’t know—that’s why I’m here. Also, the only member of my family currently speaking to me is Theodora—who’s upstairs cleaning the mess I made.”

Her face crumples, but she only nods. She clenches her jaw tightly until her expression fades to the robotic one she’s been sporting. “I’m so sorry.”