Page 29 of Paint Our Song (Cloverlily #1)

T he moment he spots Calvin, Miles thinks that maybe he does know what Andy was talking about.

Miles has a pass hanging off his neck, with the record label’s logo and the word ‘guest’ emblazoned on it, and he’s directed to the second floor, where the podcast’s going to be recorded. It’s pretty cool, honestly. There’s a huge room with a crew walking around, and a snack table, like Calvin had said—then another smaller room, separated with glass, that has chairs, a table, and microphones.

Then there’s Calvin, talking to a woman with a clipboard. When Miles waves at him and catches his attention, his expression lights up. Miles’s heart takes off and beats faster, which is stupid and doesn’t make sense, but yeah—Andy had a point about finding a muse, because suddenly, he believes he can paint anything.

“Hey,” Calvin says. “You don’t need to stay. There’s a cafe in the building. I’ll text you when we’re done. ”

“Are you kidding? This is a dream come true. Watching my favorite band recording a podcast? You can’t get rid of me.”

“Good.”

The rest of the band spots Miles, and Chase jogs over and ruffles his hair. Gil steps up with him, smiling. And—Theo, he stays across the room, talking to Derrick. He glances at Miles for a second, then looks away.

“Starting in three!” shouts a crew member. “Host and guests, please take your seats.”

And, wow—this is all so professional and classy, and exactly right for a big-named band like them. He didn’t even know podcasts could be such huge productions. Calvin squeezes his arm, reminds him of the cafe, and heads to the room behind the huge glass window with Calvin and Gil, as well as a man with an earpiece. The host, most likely.

“Yo,” Theo says, halting in front of him.

Hi, do you want some jam? Miles almost asks. Instead, he gives a slight nod. Theo responds with a smile so forced that Miles can see right through it.

Theo scratches at his neck, and there’s a small tattoo on his wrist. A lily, just like the one Calvin has on his hip. Well. Shit.

Noticing him staring, Theo takes a long look at his own wrist, as well, his brows knitting together. Miles blinks. Then he blinks some more. Has Theo always had that tattoo? It doesn’t look new, so he most likely has. Miles wracks his brain, trying to remember if he’s seen it before, but he doesn’t make it a habit of looking at people’s wrists, even if they’re Theo Reid’s.

“What?” Theo asks. “You don’t like my tattoo?”

“Uh. It’s great. Just caught my eye because it matches Calvin’s.”

There’s a pause. Theo’s expression twists as he puts his hand back down. “You’ve seen Cal’s tattoo?”

“Sure. A few times.”

“What, you go swimming a lot in Ridgeford?”

Well, that was a strange and sudden change of topic. “Once. Calvin doesn’t like swimming.”

Theo narrows his eyes. “I fucking know that.”

Alarmed, Miles lets out an awkward laugh. “Okay?”

Then he realizes what’s wrong. It’s on his hip. The majority of times he’s seen it certainly isn’t because they swam a lot, but because of other times that Theo frankly has no business knowing about, but Miles accidentally broadcasted to him.

“Theo, go,” Derrick says, stepping up beside Miles.

Jaw tightening, Theo walks away.

Derrick smiles at him, completely oblivious to the mess Miles might have started. “Enjoy the show. Hope they behave.”

The interview starts. The host introduces the band, and their voices are loud in the room which Miles is in. They chat about nothing in particular at first, and the host gives each of them equal opportunities to speak. Miles has watched and listened to interviews like this before, and he’s familiar with their dynamics. Still, it’s out of this world that he can actually see it in person—to be here as their guest.

Chase is loud and chaotic, like he always is, while Gil is the most well-mannered of them all. Theo’s charismatic, and what an act, honestly. He’s toned down from how he was before, probably still awkward with the rest of the band, but he speaks well and he’s funny. He also seems on edge, somehow.

Then there’s Calvin, the most quiet of the group, who’s polite but gives the most curt answers. Chase teases him now and then, poking at him and making jabs until he scowls and says more. Maybe that’s why he does it—he teases him to get him out of his shell.

“We’re going to take questions from the audience now,” says the host, bringing out his phone. “Type them in the chat box, folks! And be respectful!”

Someone asks Chase if he’s single, which almost always seems to be the first question asked in these things. He hollers and says, yes, he’s single. Miles wonders what Calvin would say, if anyone asked him that.

A fan asks Gil how he got interested in drums, which he gamely tells. They’re all asked how the band got together, and Theo tells the story of how they met back in high school. Miles listens, even if he’s heard it before, and decides that he doesn’t particularly like it when it’s Theo telling the story.

Miles pulls out his phone and types in the chat box, “this is for calvin! have you ever left mean notes on people’s cars?” Then he realizes his actual name will show— shit . He deletes the message, logs out, and starts creating a dummy account.

“Tell us about the new single you’re releasing soon,” the host asks, and Miles looks up in the middle of typing in a password.

“Calvin can tell us about that,” Theo says.

“I—” Calvin does a double take, clearly caught off-guard. Theo usually takes these types of questions. “Me?”

“Yeah, you wrote the lyrics, didn’t you?”

Miles almost drops his phone. Calvin goes red up to his ears while Gil and Chase exchange a look with each other.

“No way,” the host says. “You wrote this song, Calvin? We can’t wait to hear it. Is it the first song you’ve written for the band?”

“He’s the band’s main lyricist.” Theo throws his head back and chuckles. “We’ve been pretending it was me because Calvin here doesn’t like the limelight, but it’s time you all know.”

Eyes narrowing, Calvin stares at Theo. He doesn’t look pleased. Chase leans forward and claps Calvin on the back, trying to salvage the situation and says, “Damn right, it’s been Calvin all along!”

The hosts zeroes in on this, excited, and the chat box does as well. “Wow! So all these love songs of yearning, they were all by you, Calvin? Must have been for a very special person.”

Ouch. All the air leaves Miles’s lungs. Beside him, Derrick rubs a hand over his face and sighs.

“He told me he wrote them for someone special, yeah,” Theo says.

Chase freezes, seemingly realizing the direction of this and what Theo is actually pointing out. He turns to Gil and pretends to gag.

“Not really,” Calvin says, quite icily, his glare still directed at Theo.

Derrick looks up at the ceiling as if pleading for a miracle. “I should have gone to medical school.”

He sounds like Andy. Maybe it’s a manager thing. At least Miles finds some humor in that, despite wanting the ground to swallow him whole right now.

Theo puts a hand on Calvin’s shoulder, squeezing it, and Calvin squints at him. “It’s amazing, isn’t it? That he’s felt that strongly for someone all those years? You can hear how intense it all is in the songs, and I’ve always been honored that he’s let me sing his words.”

Calvin shakes Theo’s hand off, scowling.

Shit, this is all going downhill, and all because of his stupid comment about the tattoo. His stomach sinks because, not for the first time, his presence caused a rift between the band. Maybe if Miles left now, nobody would notice. Heck, maybe he can jump out the window; that seemed faster. Jumping off the second floor isn’t so bad. He’ll survive it.

The host prods, “Would you like to tell us who inspired all these songs?”

“Do you want to tell them?” Theo says, beaming. “It’s up to you.”

Calvin grimaces. “No.”

“C’mon,” Theo says with a wink.

“Oh, fuck off, actually,” Chase blurts.

Sighing, Gil closes his eyes and slumps into his chair.

The interview is incredibly tense after that, even if Gil tries to salvage it by keeping it light. Sighing, Derrick decides to cut their losses and calls the attention of one of the producers. He slashes at his throat, and the host is signaled to end it.

When the outro’s done, the host walks over to Derrick with a baffled look. The band files out of the recording room behind him, still arguing amongst themselves.

The host says to Derrick, “Well, that went… It went somewhere, I guess. Not sure what that was.”

“Your boys are still fighting,” a crew member says to Derrick.

Theo and Calvin are standing right outside the recording room and seething at each other. Chase and Gil are watching them, their eyes going back and forth.

“I am so sorry,” Derrick says to the host and to the producers. Miles has no idea what to do. Does he sneak out? Some of the crew are being ushered out by the producers, and Miles slowly approaches the band. Maybe he should just apologize for pointing out the stupid tattoo. As soon as he steps close enough to hear their fight, his throat goes dry.

“You were all annoyed that I never told people you wrote the songs, and now you’re complaining?” Theo hisses, putting his hands up in the air and rolling his eyes. “What do you actually want from me?”

“What’s wrong with you?” Calvin asks, voice much quieter but just as pissed off. “What, all of a sudden, you’ve turned a new leaf? Suddenly you want to tell the world we were together and that I wrote most of our lyrics?”

“Yes! I’m trying to fix things!”

“Naaah.” Chase shakes his head. “That was you trying to mark your territory.”

“And Calvin isn’t your territory at all,” Gil adds.

His tone mocking, Chase says, “He wrote it for someone special.”

Derrick gets between all of them. “Enough.”

“Okay.” One of the producers is talking now, his voice even more commanding than Derrick’s. “Everyone but the band and their manager, out.”

Uh. Alright. Miles blindly follows everyone out the door. Calvin seems to have forgotten he was even in there. Just as well, since he wouldn’t know what to say about any of this.

Theo throws his hands up in the air again. “Holy shit, you assholes are impossible. I’m the one who should be pissed. Your boyfriend’s messing with me for no reason!”

“What the hell are you even talking about? Miles is standing there minding his own business!” Calvin yells, his voice a lot louder this time around.

Miles walks faster, not missing the way that Calvin didn’t say anything about him being called his boyfriend. He’s unreasonably giddy about that for a split-second before he catches a glimpse of the frustration and anger on Calvin’s face.

It gets even more awkward out in the hallway, when everyone who left the room waits for the elevators to arrive. The producers, the staff, and the host—they’re all muttering in little circles and speculating about what had happened.

“A lover’s quarrel?” asks a girl beside Miles. “This sucks. I’ve heard Calvin and Theo are together, but I thought they were only rumors.”

Another girl responds, “I heard they broke up, and that’s one of the reasons the band’s falling apart.”

“How are they going to write love songs like this?”

“Did you hear what Theo said? That this is because of Calvin’s new boyfriend…? Geez, imagine being the reason for Cloverlily’s breakup. What a fucking waste. ”

Miles exhales and turns around, deciding to take the stairs.

***

When Miles thinks about it deep enough, he realizes that the lady had been right. This night had devolved into shambles because he couldn’t keep his stupid mouth shut. Back at the music festival, things went south because of him, too. And even if he told Calvin that he should fight for the band, he also thinks of the many times he wished Calvin would stop answering Theo’s calls.

He can’t even imagine how tomorrow’s release would go if he did show up, taunting Calvin’s ex with his presence.

Miles pulls out his bag when he gets home, even if it’s barely been a day since he unpacked it. Fuck it, he’s going to go back to Ridgeford. He’ll help the new trainees, and Andy did say maybe being in the inn will help him paint, now that he doesn’t have the distraction of trying to save it anymore. Never mind that he’s unable to paint when he’s in town, especially when Calvin’s not around. When he does force himself to paint anyway, he only comes up with the most stupidly boring pieces.

His phone rings, and he stares at it. He’s not so sure it’s a good idea to answer it right now since he can’t trust his brain not to say something he’ll regret. It rings a second time, and Miles breathes deep and answers it.

“Hey,” Calvin says. “Where are you? I’ll come to you.”

“Oh. Uh… I’m leaving for Ridgeford.”

“What? Why? ”

“I thought everything was good, but Gabby said they needed help. New staff.”

A lie. Gabby has it under control.

“You’re leaving?” Calvin asks.

“Yup,” he says. “I’ll catch up with you soon, okay?”

There’s a long silence. “Are you actually leaving?”

“Yes. I’m home right now, packing my things.”

“Why’d you leave the studio without telling me? Did you see what happened? I mean… when did you actually leave?”

“I saw what happened,” Miles admits. “They told us to leave, so I did. I waited downstairs for a while, but you seemed pretty busy, so I headed home.”

“Shit… that means you won’t be at the release tomorrow?” Calvin sounds hurt, but Miles really believes it would be much better if he weren’t there. He heard what the crew had been saying. Him being there would only ruin it for the band.

“No,” Miles says. “I’ll watch your stream from the inn. I promise.”

Calvin lets out a deep breath. “I’m so sorry you had to see that today. That was a fucking nightmare.”

“No, that’s on me.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well…” He started it, set Theo off by stupidly talking about Calvin’s tattoo. “You know. Theo wasn’t happy I was there.”

“Did he try to pick a fight with you?”

“No… no, he didn’t. I, uh. I kinda started it, but not on purpose.”

“What happened? ”

Miles says, “Uhhhhh.”

Calvin groans again, and he sounds so miserable. “I’m sure it wasn’t your fault. I can’t fucking do this with him. This is so stupid.”

“It will work out,” he says, voice quiet. Miles’s grip tightens around his phone. “You and Theo have… Well, you were together for a long time. I get it. That’s why the drama’s still this intense. You’re both going to have to learn to work together if you actually want to stay a band.”

They have matching tattoos. They lived together. Calvin wrote dozens of songs for him, and Theo had sung each one of them. They were a power couple—each other’s muses—and came up with hits that are sung all over the world. If they were painters, they’d be creating masterpieces every day, and their gallery wouldn’t have a shortage of paintings—wouldn’t have to practically beg them for it.

And… Miles? What has he ever done for Calvin? Absolutely nothing. Calvin’s astounding—saving him again and again in so many different ways, and Miles has nothing to offer him.

He can’t say that and he won’t.

His voice a low grumble, Calvin says, “This was a horrible idea. We shouldn’t have tried to get back together again. I’m going to get through the live release tomorrow, then I’m telling them I’m out. For real this time.”

“What, you want to break it up again? You sure?”

“It’s not worth it. I don’t even know why Chase agreed to this. He’s ready to punch Theo at a moment’s notice. Gil’s frustrated, too.”

“If they didn’t want to be there, why’d they agree? ”

“Because I asked them to,” Calvin says, and there’s regret in his voice. “I shouldn’t have. Theo is nuts.”

Miles takes a deep breath. He can’t believe he’s going to say this. “Theo didn’t lie, though. Everything he said was true.”

There’s silence again. Then, Calvin asks, “What?”

“Everything he said was true. You wrote him dozens of songs.”

“So? I don’t care about him anymore. Does it bother you?”

“It’s… no. No, of course not. It has nothing to do with me.” Except that yes, it does bother him. He can’t compete with that. Miles will never be the person to inspire entire albums from Calvin.

“Okay,” Calvin says. He sounds unconvinced. “You swear you’re going to listen to our new song?”

“Of course.” He’s always listened to their songs, clicking around and refreshing his phone until that button says it’s finally ready to play. Even if he’ll have to hear Theo, again, singing Calvin’s words—he’ll listen to it.

Maybe.

Calvin murmurs, “Thanks.”

“I need to go. It’s a long drive, and it’s pretty late.”

“… Okay. Take care,” Calvin says. There’s something in his tone that makes Miles’s chest ache. “Say hi to your mom and Gabby for me.”

“Of course.”

The line clicks and the call ends, and Miles knocks his hand against his forehead, cursing under his breath.