Page 71 of Outside Looking In

“Because it’s what Mariel wanted. You were a mistake, Nathan, something she wanted to forget ever happened. And she did. Did she ever try calling you or writing you or finding you on social media?”

Nathan wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of a head nod.

“She wanted you out of her life. And for good reason. In and out of rehab, homosexual. You’ve only been here a few weeks, and you’ve already tried corrupting my granddaughter.”

“Don’t you mean my half-sister?”

“You don’t belong here.”

While what Pastor Fry said sounded true, Nathan could feel in his heart that it wasn’t the truth.

“Go inside and pack your things, before things really spiral out of control.”

“No.” Nathan dug his boots into the mushy grass.

“You’re trouble, Nathan, and I don’t want you around my family.”

“I’m not leaving.” He wasn’t going to be chased out like this.

Pastor Fry gave him a final, dagger-filled glare and walked back to his car. It took everything in Nathan not to fall apart on the spot.

“I’m going to tell them,” Nathan said, fighting back.

Pastor Fry’s expression softened. “When Mariel finally confessed to us what she did, it destroyed my wife and me. We were never the same after that. It took everything we had to keep it together in front of Mark and our congregants. We always wondered what else Mariel was keeping from us, wondered how else she could hurt this beautiful family she’d created.

“You will cause irrevocable damage to Franny and Walt. I don’t think you want to do that to your half-siblings.”

Nathan pictured his mother tossing him onto the front steps of his dad’s flat, not looking back as she walked away, just as his grandfather now drove off the farm, tires screeching against the gravel, without a glance in the rearview mirror.

A few minutes after watching Pastor Fry’s car disappear into the hills, Nathan tried returning to work. Shoveling manure was something he could do on autopilot while his mind spun out. But a familiar name buzzed on his phone.

“What?” he screamed to the caller. A nearby sheep skirted off. “What do you want?”

“Hi, son?”

Hearing his dad call him son left a sour taste in his throat.

“You keep contacting me at the absolute worst times.” He threw down his shovel. “What do you want?”

“I haven’t heard from you in a few weeks is all.”

“Since when do you care?”

“Where are you?”

Nathan had to laugh. His father acting like a concerned parent? “I’m traveling. Just like you.”

“Usually you check in or I see posts online of your journeys.”

Nathan was surprised that his father checked his social media, but he shrugged it off. “I’m alive. Is that good enough?”

“Nathan, please tell me where you are. You’re worrying me.”

“Why would I worry you now? You’ve never given a flying fuck about me before.”

“I brought you to a rehabilitation facility.”

“You dumped me there. You didn’t even bother to pick me up when it was done.” He waited for his father to reply, but he seemed to still be gathering a response. Nathan happily supplied one for him: “You had reservations. Another beautiful resort.”